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-Chapter 8-

When he first answered, there was a bunch of loud noises in the background, but it suddenly got silent, and I could tell he had walked into another room. When John responded, he sounded just the same as he did 6 years ago, though his voice was a little slower, and surprised to hear me.

"Little Red, is that you? Damn it's been awhile."

"Yeah, it has. How have you been?" It seemed so weird talking casually with John. We've never had that kind of 'how are you', 'what have you been up to' relationship.

"Uh, same as always I guess." He felt obligated to ask in return. "How about you?" Hearing his voice brought back all of our old memories (well...the 'good ones' at least) and gave me that adrenaline-pumping feeling that made my breath catch in my throat.

"Good. Better, I mean." Was all I could say.

There was a silence, then I heard him let out that evil, yet somehow beautiful, chuckle I'd heard a thousand times. "Well this is awkward. I guess you finally got my text?"

"Uh..yeah. Haha, sorry. I've just been so busy."

"I thought so. Made any number one hits lately?"

"Just a few." I giggled, while finding it weird how casual we were being. We were talking as if we'd been talking forever, and as if everything that went on between us never happened, though part of me deep down couldn't stop thinking about it. But of course, I knew John wasn't even thinking about it. Pushing girls around and making them do things they don't want to do seems like a natural thing to him. And for some reason I needed to be around someone like that. Maybe being with someone who never felt guilty about anything would rub off on me. I was so sick of feeling guilty, anyways.

He cleared his throat. "So, I text you to tell you that I was throwing a party and was wonderin' if you'd want to come by." It was quiet for a few seconds, and I considered apologizing for not responding, but he spoke again before I could. "Actually, I'm having another one tonight. Any chance you'd want to swing by?" His seductive drawl got deeper. "We need to catch up."

I giggled like a school girl. How did he bring this part out of me? "Yes we do. I'll be there in an hour."

"That's my girl. I knew you'd come around." That scared me. I'm not 'coming around'. And I'm not 'his girl'. It's just been a hard week, and I'm awful lonely. I just want some fun. There is nothing wrong with that, I reminded myself. We said goodbye, and I ran upstairs to change.

It was hard deciding what to wear. I didn't want to dress too sleazy, but it was a party at John's; I would stand out like a sore thumb if I dressed in my usual motherly attire. I finally decided on a tight T-Shirt showing a small amount of cleavage, and tight jeans that hugged on my hips, which I noticed were getting larger with age. I threw on my boots, added more make up, and brushed through my hair. I didn't feel as tipsy as before, but still wondered if I'd be safe driving, or if I should have John pick me up. Haha, who am I kidding? John wouldn't pick me up. I locked the house, got in the car, and started the 45 minute trip to John's.

On the way, I had plenty of time to think logically, and talk myself out of going. But instead, I blared the radio as loud as it would go, and drowned out all of my thoughts. Tonight was my night. I wasn't going to worry about Brock or my career or my kids. For once, I'm just going to focus on making me happy.

The 45 minutes went quicker than expected, and I was surprised that I remembered exactly how to get to his cabin in the middle of no where. I heard music blaring from halfway down the road, and as I searched for a place to park in the grass, I saw a man run out of the house and throw up off of the wrap-around porch. But somehow, I really didn't notice. I was too busy worrying about seeing John for the first time. My buzz was wearing off and a little bit of sense was coming back. Not enough to stop me, but enough to make me nervous. I noticed my hands were shaking as I walked up the rocky path leading to the steps to his house. The man who was throwing up had just finished, and quickly shot up when he saw me.

"Hey, you're Reba Mc-" He turned around and began throwing up again. I felt obligated to go pat his back or something, but decided to just keep walking.

I opened the front door cautiously, and found people everywhere-either socializing, making a drink, or dancing like an idiot. Several people stopped when they saw me, and a few even ran up and took a quick picture. I smiled, and tried to talk to as many people as I could, though it was hard to make conversation with people drunk off their feet.

I finally got a break, and walked into the kitchen to grab a beer. Although a lot of people were giving me attention, I felt so alone-I didn't truly know anyone here. I wanted to find John, but I couldn't see him anywhere.

When I went to the cooler, a man reached in front of me, grabbed a Miller Lite, and handed it to me with a smile.

"Thank you." I said, taking the drink from him.

"Anytime, sweetie. Are you here with someone?"

"Well, actually, I'm here to see John. Do you know where I could find him?"

"Oh." He seemed disappointed. "He should be around here somewhere. I would say he probably took some girl up to his room, but he knew you were coming tonight, and he was talking about waiting just for you." He said with a wink. "Maybe go check around the hallway. He's usually around there." John knew I was coming? And he was 'waiting just for me'? I guess I knew that was probably what was expected if I showed up here, but I haven't really processed it. Did I want to go that far? No, I didn't. At least I didn't think I did.

I walked up the hallway on the first floor, and then traveled upstairs. Besides a few people making out against the wall, I didn't see anything to take notice of. But I did realize something- John's parties always made me feel like a teenager again. John Callahan's party house was the place to go for people in their 30s and 40s who are looking for a good time, and most of the time, looking for trouble. At first I was shocked when I saw people snorting two long lines of a powdery substance, but by the 3rd time I saw it, it didn't seem out of place. I just reminded myself the whole 'Just Say No' technique and kept walking.

After about half an hour of not finding him, my head started spinning and I was feeling more alone than before. I didn't belong here... At least not without John by my side. I tried to find a bathroom so I could be alone, but all of them were taken. I walked up to John's room, slowly opened the door, and was surprised to find it empty. I could smell his familiar cologne as I walked into his bathroom and looked in the mirror. I actually didn't look as bad (or as sweaty) as I thought I would. My hair was a little wild, but I smoothed it down. While looking at myself, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I decided on a limb to come all the way back to this place, and now he's not even here. I leaned down on the counter and put my face in my folded arms, trying to hold back tears. I stayed like that for a few minutes, trying to steady my breathing and my thoughts, until I felt two warm hands grab onto my waist from behind. I felt someone bend over me, surrounding my body with theirs, and bringing their face close to mine. I felt hot, familiar, alcohol scented breath on my ear.

"You okay, Little Red?" John's voice stung my ears, and I couldn't move. I took a deep breath, ignoring his body tight against mine and focusing on controlling my now shaking body. It didn't help me any when his hands slid up my sides, going slowly by the sides of my breasts, and up my arms, which were still folded together under my face. He tugged on my elbows, signaling for me to get up. I slowly rose up, and looked into the mirror to see him behind me. His face had aged, but he was still breath-takingly beautiful. His jawline and cheek bones worked perfectly together, making a perfectly built face. His hair was dark and his eyes were green enough to make your knees goes weak. His lips were...perfect. And the way he was smiling at me made me feel a way I hadn't felt in ages. I turned around to face him, finding him even more beautiful up close.

"Yeah, I-I'm fine." Was all I could choke out. I couldn't look into his eyes, so I looked at the ground. He lifted my face with his finger.

"Good. Wanna go downstairs for awhile?" I smiled and followed him as he led the way down the staircase.

I forgot how amazing it felt to be John Callahan's girl at John Callahan's party. It seemed that everywhere we went, all eyes were on us. Yes, several were envious stares from girls who looked like they could kill me, but it was still exciting. The hours went quickly with him, and with each one we grew closer and closer. We also drank more and more. It felt so good to let loose, and just have a good time. John lit a few cigarettes, and even talked me into a few puffs, just like before.

Eventually, after walking around socializing all night, I sat on the couch, completely exhausted. John came and sat next to me as people gathered around, all talking about a million different things at once.

A girl across from us, Candice, who even 6 years ago had a thing for John, looked like she was going to blow up when John put his hand on my leg. I felt like I was going to blow up too. My whole leg, and other parts, heated at his touch, and I forgot how much he could make me want him. He looked down at me, and I smiled a seductive smile before I realized what I was doing. I guess he took that as in initiation, because he leaned down and kissed me. Right in front of everyone! I heard a few whoops and hollers, but I was too lost in his lips to notice. I parted mine, and quickly accepted him in, totally forgetting about my surroundings. Before long, we were full-blown making out, and John pulled off just enough to say, "Party's over. Y'all go home. It's 3 a.m. and I need my privacy." He leaned back in for more, but I pushed him off softly and told him I needed to check my phone. He rolled his eyes and set back against the seat as I went into the kitchen to find my purse. Did he say it was 3? How long had it been since I'd stayed up this late? Checking my phone, I realized I had missed a call from Cheyenne, and there was a goodnight text from Jake, which ripped my heart out. What was I doing here? I don't belong here. I wanted to cry as I thought of what their night must have been like. Brock probably rented a movie, and the kids and him probably all watched it together. While I was here. With John.

I walked back into the living room slowly, noticing how quiet it was. It sent shivers through my body. Everyone had left in the few minutes I was gone, and John was sitting alone on the couch. He turned around and saw the look on my face.

"What's wrong?" He asked in an I-Don't-Really-Care type of voice.

"I just didn't realize how late it was getting. I probably need to head home." I said, holding my hands in front of me.

"You need to head home? Hun, it's 3 a.m. and you're wasted. You're not going anywhere." He said dryly, putting emphasis on the 'not going anywhere' part. I felt the room grow smaller as fear crept into my body. "Now come back over here- I'm not done with you." I should have known what I was getting myself into. Actually, I did know. Especially now. I knew what was coming next, only I was so scared of what would happen if I didn't go to him. So, I slowly walked back towards the couch, and sank next to him. He pulled me into him, and pressed his mouth hard against mine, not hesitating to use his tongue. His hands traveled up and down my back a few times, before finally going down and sneaking back up under my shirt. I felt the warmth his hands left stinging my bare skin. He came to my bra, and began to unhook it, as I jerked back.

"Listen, I really need to go home." I said quickly while I had the courage to. His face dropped, and his eyes darkened as he intensely stared at me.

"So, you're still a tease, huh?" He asked in a voice that made me cringe.

"I never said I'd sleep with you. I just came to see you. I didn't know anything more was required from me." I stated, avoiding his eyes. With that statement, he grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. He didn't respond, but instead began kissing me again, still holding onto my arms tight enough to paralyze me. He pushed me down on the couch and found his way on top of me, his mouth never leaving mine. But, as much as I hate to admit it, a small part of me was enjoying him- enjoying this. Why couldn't I spend the night with him? What was stopping me from it? I mumbled against his mouth, making him pull back.

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry." Why are you apologizing to him, Reba? The responsible, mature part of me asked. But the other part of me, the part John Callahan created and owned, was powerful enough at the moment to shut her out for the rest of the night, just like she had years ago.

"It's okay, baby." He said, releasing his grip and stroking my face. "Just don't do it again, okay? You know that's not fair to me." He could take any situation and make himself look like the victim. But honestly, I didn't care. He pulled me off of the couch, and I wrapped my legs around him as he carried me upstairs. I felt his hardness between my flexed legs, and began moving up and down, causing a moan to escaped each of our lips. Before even reaching his room, he pushed my back against the wall and pushed his body into mine, making my close my legs tighter and moan louder.

"Hurry. Your room. Now." Was all I could get out between our kisses. He carried me into his room and threw me on the bed. I immediately began taking off my pants, but he stopped me midway through and ripped them off himself, reminding me of our first time together. I scooted to the edge of the bed and unbuttoned his pants, allowing him to pull them down. I spent the next few minutes doing something I hadn't done in a long, long time. I'm not sure why, but at the moment it seemed like the best idea ever. A few minutes into it, however, I felt like I should use mouthwash.

Afterwards, he ripped off the rest of my clothes, and I gave myself up to him as he sunk into my body. Before long, my back was arching and I was moaning his name as he whispered dirty words into my ear.

After we had each had our moments, we laid together, out of breath, without speaking. I snuggled up against his body, and draped one leg over him. Of course, John didn't embrace me, but I didn't need him to. Him just laying there was enough.

We continued for a while after that, and the sun was coming up when I finally closed my eyes to sleep. John was already passed out by the time I was dozing off, and my heart warmed when he rolled over and stretched his arm across me. I scooted close to his body, loving the feeling of at least coming close to being held. My eyes drifted shut, and I found myself lost in a deep, dark sleep. Somewhere in the background of my dream I heard a voice saying "You've made a mistake, Reba." But of course, like always, I didn't listen to it. Eventually, I knew I'd pay for it. But right now, I was living for the moment. And the moment for me was sleeping in John Callahan's arms.