Wyatt and Michelle: Postpartum
Chapter Three: Nine Months Postpartum
August 6
Dear Journal: In a few weeks, I'll officially be a high school senior! I freaking worked my butt off to pass grade 11 and I'm so glad to be done with it. Nikki and I studied for hours every day and it really paid off. I almost thought the teacher handed me the wrong test when I saw my grade on the final: a 105. That's right; I even got the extra credit points! She smiled when she handed me that test. I know she was proud. I found a summer job a couple of weeks after school let out, which is great. I work at a smoothie shop in the mall. I won't get kicked out of my apartment this summer and I get to see my friends more often. And something else very interesting happened this past July. Remember three months ago when Jen got upset with me over the whole 'Michelle' thing? Well, she told Emma and Emma told her friend who works at a mental health facility and they came over to the apartment to examine Michelle. That was a pretty freaky thing to come home to. Anyway, Michelle's parents came over and we all discussed it and decided it was best for all involved that she be sent to this facility so she can get some help. Everyone turned to me at the end of the conversation to see how I felt about it. My response: Good luck prying her off that couch. Then I went to Stevie's room to see if he was awake from his nap yet. I wasn't upset about her leaving at all. I feel like some large weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I had been paying less and less attention to Michelle over time. I only notice she isn't here when I walk through the front door. This also brought a new element of freedom to my life. I can actually invite people over to the apartment without making them feel awkward. Plus, I can start sleeping on the couch again instead of the floor. I should probably get it cleaned first. If this facility can help her, Michelle can have a hand in raising our son. I would love for my son's mother to be a part of his life, even if she isn't a part of mine. Speaking of our son, Stevie is a little explorer these days. He's perfected his crawling method and is getting into everything. I can't even put him in the playpen anymore to keep him out of the way, he starts screaming if I do. He's getting so big. I can hardly believe he was just 6 pounds when we brought him home almost nine months ago.
August 12
Dear Journal: Today at work I waited on this really cute redhead with freckles. She reminded me of my ex girlfriend, Marlowe. When I handed gave her her smoothie, I caught myself staring. I don't think she noticed it, though. She was cute and all, but it really got me thinking when I was on the way to Nikki's house to get Stevie: What would dating look like for a single teen father? I'm doubtful that any girl would want to get close to an 18 year old guy in high school who already has a kid. Besides,
I'd never have time to date, anyway. I barely have time for sleep. I'm not sure if I want to continue dating Michelle or if she'll be a vegetable the rest of her life. I have no idea. I just hope she can play a significant role in Stevie's life.
August 20
Dear Journal: First day of school was standard, I guess. New teachers, new students, and new classes. I have a history class with Jen, but she's still mad at me. I thought we had resolved the issue with Michelle, but I guess Jen doesn't like how I'm reacting to what happened. Caitlin says Jen thinks I'm too calm about Michelle getting sent away. I don't know what to do about that. It's just how I feel. Anyway, I'm excited that I'm a senior now. Graduation is right around the corner. Each senior had a mandatory meeting with their advisors today to talk about our plans for after graduation. My advisor, Ms. Short, asked me if I was still on the 4 year college track and I almost said 'yes'. Then I thought about it and didn't have an answer to give. I made all of these plans before Stevie got here and never gave them a second thought until now. How was I going pay for college? Who would take care of Stevie? Were my grades even good enough to get in? Should I wait a few years? Do I still want to go at all? Ugh. Being a parent really makes you think about the future with more urgency than usual.
August 27
Dear Journal: I've been looking into ways to make extra money. It's not that I need it, but its nice to have savings. I saw a bulletin board at school about a song writing contest with a $500 cash prize. I guess I could use the song I was helping Jen write, since she hates me now.
After work today while I was on the way to get Stevie from Caitlin's house, I don't know what happened. I just fell over and my chest was pounding. I called Caitlin and she and her mom came to get me with Stevie. The doctor's office was closed so we had to go to the emergency room. God, it was awful. It's nothing like it is on TV where people are rushing in and out. It's slow and boring and crowded. After waiting for maybe two hours, I was finally seen by a nurse. When she took my blood pressure her eyes widened and she didn't say anything. Caitlin and I took that as a bad sign. Another nurse appeared and took my blood pressure again. She mumbled something under her breath and left the room. I grabbed Caitlin's hand out of fear. She rubbed the back of my head and told me everything would be fine. After a few more minutes, a doctor appeared. His name was Dr. Collins. He told me he needed to check my blood pressure a third time, with a different monitor, to see if the reading was accurate. He checked it, and then just looked at me for a few seconds before he spoke:
"We can't figure out why this is, but your blood pressure is dangerously high. A normal reading would be 120/80, but yours is 160/90."
I was just shocked. That explained why I felt like crap, but it made me nervous. I'm 18, I don't smoke, and I have a healthy weight. How could I get high blood pressure? He then said that based on my previous medical history that I don't have any risk factors. He said I needed to be on blood pressure medicine. We left the hospital and went to get the prescription filled. Mrs. Cooke said I should plan to see my family doctor soon. I guess I'm sleeping on Caitlin's couch tonight with Stevie.
September 3
Dear Journal: I went to the doctor yesterday and sure enough my blood pressure is still shockingly high. He also told me there was no medical reason for it. Then he asked me if I have a lot of stress in my life. I wasn't sure. Then I told him that I'm in high school, a senior, don't know when or if I'll go to college, and I have a nine month old whose mother is in a mental institution and he stopped me short. He told me that was way too much stress for someone my age. He told me to make sure I took the medication every day and to try and limit the stress in my life.
Jen called me today to see how I was. We talked for a long while. I had forgotten that she had been in a similar position to me last year. She knows what it's like to have a lot of stress. She also didn't seem mad at me anymore. I kind of feel bad about entering her song in the music contest now. She didn't bring it up, so hopefully she forgot. And besides, it will only matter if I actually win the contest. I really need to go grocery shopping soon. I seriously have no food.