A/N: Future ADA- ahaha, I'm glad I could change your Jaina/Jag thoughts through the power of fanfiction. Having said that… I don't understand the fan-hatred of Jag. I mean, he's a total dick in Dark Nest, but Jaina and Zekk & co. really aren't any better… anyway, perhaps I'm something of an oddity, but I can go any way on Jaina/Kyp, Jaina/Jag, or Jaina/Zekk… in fact, I think I've written all three…
Anyway, you'll have to let me know how you feel about Jaina and Kyp getting back together after this chapter, muahaha.
Part XVI
Six Weeks Later
Kyp woke with a start and first thought that the light pattering of rain against the outside of the cabin was what had caused it. After a moment though, he realized that something felt wrong… not dangerous, but... just wrong. He first touched the small but slowly growing life to whom he'd maintained a constant connection for four months now. There was nothing out of the ordinary, the fetus was technically five months along, right around two and a half in 'ruse time,' as Kyp had begun to think of it, and in actual developmental progress, somewhere in the middle. Still too small to have any sort of a developed mind, Kyp had nevertheless begun to sense something of a reflexive response to his frequent probes and Force persuasions.
Once reassured that his 'charge,' if one could so call it, was alright, he extended his awareness to Jaina directly- and frowned at the detached state of her mind. At first, he thought she might be asleep, but her mind felt more distant than anything, and he cursed under his breath. Swinging his legs out of bed and rubbing sleep from his eyes, he grabbed a cloak and wrapped it around his bedclothes-clad form.
Double-checking to make sure he wasn't just being paranoid, Kyp keyed off the safety mechanism on Jaina's door and entered the code to release the door- if the latter was done before the former, the door would essentially seal itself from the inside and create a temporary fortress, buying plenty of time to call for assistance.
As predicted, the room was empty, and Kyp quickly reached out again in the Force. If Jaina had just gone up to the temple- why she would have done so, in the middle of the night, was anyone's guess- but no, she was just… walking.
Had he been less concerned about her mental state, Kyp would have let it go for another hour. Such as things were… finding her quickly struck him as the best option. Drawing his hood up against the light rain, he stepped out into the night and let the Force be his guide, finding himself quickly drawn towards the forested area not far from the cabin.
As he stepped through the tree line, Kyp was grateful for the light of twin moons that night. True, it was cloudy, but the clouds simply served to spread the moonlight further, better enabling him to see around him as he used the Force to try to pinpoint a direction and distance towards Jaina.
It didn't take long. Maybe five minutes after setting foot outside the cabin, he spotted her. Her hair hung limp and damp around her face but she didn't seem to mind as she meandered apparently aimlessly through the trees. The moonlight reflected off of her pale skin, slick with raindrops, and accentuated the fact that she hadn't donned a cloak for her late-night stroll.
Biting back a growl, Kyp hurried forward. "Jaina!" he called out to her, and only after the third shout did she seem to register him at all, starting slightly and then stopping, but not turning. "Jaina," he drew alongside her and pulled her arm gently to turn her to face him, "what the hell are you doing?"
"I couldn't sleep," she offered faintly.
"So you decided to take a nice walk in the rain, without a cloak, in your pajamas?" he demanded.
She glanced down once, as though to verify his words, then shrugged listlessly.
"Damn it, Jaina," he bit, turning her fully around to face the direction from which he came. "Come on, you're going to make yourself sick like this…" She allowed herself to be steered and then walked forward without protest. "What were you doing out here?"
For a long moment, she said nothing, and he struggled to read much from her mind. Then, meekly, she said, "Kyp… I'm cold."
Mentally cursing his thoughtlessness- and her stupidity- he made to take off his cloak, but a hand at his forearm stopped him. "No," she whispered. "Not physically… I'm just… cold… inside…"
He stared at her, alarm spiking, and started to wonder if he shouldn't take her to the med center. He should have been able to sense if she were ill though… and for everything that might have been wrong with her, none of the problems were going to be solved by Tekli or any of the other healers, Jedi or otherwise.
"Come here," he murmured, pulling her close against him and swinging the cloak around her small and trembling form. "You're shaking, you are cold…" Walking close together like that, they made slower progress back to the cabin, but the trek still took under ten minutes.
When they were inside, he led her instantly to her own room and pointed to the dresser. "Put some dry clothes on," he ordered. "Take a hot sanisteam if you have to, but warm yourself back up. I'll be waiting in the living room."
He gave her ten minutes, and when she still hadn't emerged, he went to the half-open door and tapped lightly. "Jaina?" he called softly, wondering if exhaustion had sent her straight to bed instead.
"Come in."
He did so as she was pulling a sleeveless sleep shirt over her head, catching a brief glimpse of her bare back before she tugged the shirt down and straightened it before turning to face him. "Are you going to yell at me now, like I'm a petulant child?"
"I should," his mouth quirked in a wry, lopsided smile. "That wasn't the smartest maneuver."
"I can take care of myself."
"Jaina," he spoke with forced patience, "you didn't even take a proper cloak out on a cool night in the middle of a rain shower in the woods." He smiled sadly. "What are you doing to yourself?"
Scowling, she looked down at the floor. "I just… needed to be outside," she murmured. "I felt trapped, claustrophobic…"
He studied her for a moment. "You have another life to think about right now," he pointed out somberly. "If you get yourself sick, remember that it could affect the baby too."
For a minute, she looked stricken and guilty… and then a soft smile spread across her face and she crossed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around Kyp's waist and pressing her cheek against his chest while he awkwardly embraced her in return. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "That was selfish of me… after all you've done… what did I do to deserve you, Kyp?"
"I'm a sucker for a girl who goes on middle-of-the-night strolls in the rain," he deadpanned, and she laughed before leaning up and kissing his cheek softly.
"I'm serious though," she whispered, looking up into his eyes, a mixture of nervousness and shyness in her eyes confusing him. "You've been kind and helpful and supportive… more than I ever really deserved from you…" he opened his mouth to protest… and froze when she leaned up again and pressed her lips to his.
It was at once alien and familiar a sensation; shock held him in place a second longer than he would have liked to admit, but he mastered his surprise and pulled back slightly, reaching his hands up to press against her shoulders. "What are you doing?" he asked lightly, with a tinge of suspicion lacing his tone.
"Kissing you," she returned evenly, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Yes," he drawled, still holding her at arm's length, "I got that part. Why?"
She tilted her head and smiled again. "Because I want to." And pushing easily through his light touch to her shoulders, she reached up and draped her arms around his neck before capturing his lips more forcefully this time. He closed his eyes as she ran her tongue along his lower lip and, with slightly more effort, pushed her gently away again.
"Jaina, stop. This isn't… you don't want this."
Her huff of frustration reminded him of when she was younger, more unpredictable, less mature… which didn't really help, because that reminded him of when the two of them had carried on a whirlwind romance over the course of a couple months, while stationed aboard the Mon Mothma together…
"How do you know what I want?" she murmured finally.
He smiled thinly. "Because I can feel your every emotion in the Force Jaina, it's what you asked of me four months ago. And there's a lot going on in your head… but not this. And if you would just open yourself up to the Force again and stop hiding from it, you would-"
She smirked wickedly and cut him off. "How's this for going on in my head?"
Frowning at first, he stared at her. And then he felt it… sensations out of a memory, and vague images, reminding him of the very time he had just shoved from his mind… a seventeen-year-old Jaina straddling him, breathing heavily as he slowly pulled her robe aside… him lifting her shirt over her head, pressing her back to the bed to remove her shorts, baring her fully to him for the first time… her pressed beneath him, urging him to take her, to be her first…
With a growl, he seized her upper arms in a bruising grip and pulled her close again. "Don't test me, Jaina," he hissed. "I could do it, you know…" he leaned his mouth close to her ear. "I could take what you're offering to me, consequences be damned. I could make you mine again…" she shivered, and he wasn't sure if it was out of fear or anticipation- or both. "Hell, it might even make you forget some of your pain… for a minute, an hour… maybe for a night…"
He pulled back a little and looked down at her, loosening his grip on her arms slightly but not releasing them. "And you know what would happen then?" he skimmed the back of his hand lightly across her cheek and she closed her eyes, leaning into the touch. "You would wake up, and the pain would still be there… only this time, it would hurt worse after you'd shunned it… and you would funnel it to me instead, would hate me for taking advantage…"
"You're not taking advantage," she murmured, still leaning into his touch.
"No," he agreed, moving his hand abruptly and giving her shoulders the smallest shake. "You are."
Her eyes flew open, and they went from confused to hurt to outraged in less than a second. She raised a hand and swung to slap him- he caught her wrist centimeters from his face and they stood frozen like that for several seconds. Then, with a soft sigh, Kyp twisted her hand around gently and pressed a light kiss to her knuckles.
She slumped slightly and dropped her arm; he released it, but reached out with his other arm and turned her body, guiding her to the bed. "Sit," he ordered quietly. She looked like she wanted nothing more than to refuse, out of petty defiance more than anything else, but after a moment of hesitation, she did so, falling heavily, looking defeated. Her expression turned to surprise though when he sat down close beside her, body angled to face hers.
"You're asking something of me that you thought I'd be unable, or unwilling, to refuse," he explained slowly and gently. "Because you know that Leyla was right about one thing- I do still love you, Jaina." Her eyes widened slightly but she remained silent. "But that love has evolved from the love of youthful passion to one that's much more mature… the love for a dear friend… the love for someone who has given me more chances than I rightfully deserve… the love for the mother of my daughter…"
The first tears were welling in her eyes, and he knew that he had finally broken through to her. He continued on though; she needed to hear it.
"And maybe that's enough for you," he said hoarsely. "But not for me- you're looking for something to fill a void, and if only there was something I could do to help you… but I'm not Jag, Jaina… and I have too much respect for who he was as a friend, as a person, to try and replace him in your heart, if only for a night."
Silent sobs wracked her body and she turned away from him, embarrassed and ashamed. He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder; she jerked it away. "Get out, Kyp," she muttered thickly.
"No." She stiffened. "Just because I won't give you what you asked, doesn't mean I don't want to help you…" He reached out once more and pulled her to him. After a moment of stiff resistance, she slumped against him, allowed him to wrap his arms tight around her. "You feel lonely and abandoned, Jaina," he murmured quietly. "But you aren't alone, because I'm here, and I'll never abandon you."
He stayed with her that night and held her close to him until she fell asleep- it didn't take long, she was exhausted both physically and emotionally. As he pulled away to give her a more respectable distance, however, his hand drifted across her abdomen… where he felt the slightest swelling that signified the baby growing inside of her.
Sending the vaguest of reassuring touches into the unrefined mind growing there, Kyp began to worry. If all went according to plan, the baby would be delivered in another six or seven months… but what kind of life would it be coming into? Leyla had been born into a loving relationship, even if it hadn't technically been between her parents.
With Jag dead and Jaina in a seemingly unbreakable depression… what kind of life would they have to offer this child?