Well since it's a blue moon and all I figured I may as well update. I'm embarrassed it took me an entire YEAR to finish this chapter, but I hope it's worth the wait. Thanks for all the reviews, they're very encouraging- they're sometimes the only thing that compels me to write some more! And thanks again to Leafygirl for being my second pair of eyes.
The sun was setting, and the sky was darkening from a vibrant purple to an inky blue. Bright little stars were beginning to debut through the dusky veil, and the not-quite-full moon was the brightest illumination for miles.
Haruhi decided she actually sort of liked the view from the veranda of the Nekozawa estate. Most of the mansions she'd seen were on hilltops but this one was low in a valley, and had no real view outside of the Nekozawas' property. But instead of feeling isolated, it had a comfortable, private feel. Overgrown trees blocked the sight of any city nearby, the garden was fragrant and colourful, and the brisk evening chill was a welcome change to the stuffy atmosphere of the crowded party. With the exception of the unsettling image of a tire swing that appeared to be hanging by a noose from the gallows, Haruhi was really quite comfortable. Contented, she let out a sigh.
It didn't escape her attention when after a few moments she was joined by the party's host, but he didn't say anything, and so, neither did she. Instead Haruhi and Nekozawa stood quietly together and watched as the sky was slowly blanketed with darkness, enjoying the refreshing feel of a slight wind tousling their hair and cooling their skin.
After a calculated pause, Nekozawa was the first to break their comfortable silence. "I hope I'm not disturbing you…"
"Not at all," she responded smoothly, her eyes still on the sky. "I was just getting some fresh air."
"Are you having a good time, Haruhi? I was afraid you would feel awkward, since it's mostly my family and the parents of preschoolers here."
"Oh no, that doesn't bother me at all," she replied easily, decidedly neglecting to add that it was Tamaki's mood that had been making her uncomfortable, if anything. "I'm having a good time, thank you for inviting us."
"I'm very glad you both came," he admitted. "I was afraid I would be stuck alone with my family and the parents of preschoolers!"
"I don't envy you that," Haruhi laughed. "Though you've been doing a pretty good job of disappearing on and off all day."
"I had… perfectly legitimate… medical reasons for that!" Nekozawa stammered in response, earning another laugh from Haruhi.
"While I believe that to be true," she smirked, "I would also bet that having someone come up to you every few minutes and ask if you were feeling all right and if you wanted a glass of water had at least a small contribution to the length of your absences!"
"Well…" he smiled, "…you've caught me there." Truth be told, Nekozawa had been suffering his relatives' worries for his health nearly his entire life and was quite deft at escaping them. What he really wondered was how long Haruhi had been paying attention that she had noticed it happening.
"I think the real question, though," Haruhi began, "is whether or not Kirimi is having a good time. She doesn't seem to have the problem with attention you have, but I don't know her as well as you."
"My sister is a social butterfly." Nekozawa smiled to himself. "I know she's having a good time because she loves to talk to people. That's why there are so many people here. She'll be very successful one day in maintaining professional relations and friendly acquaintanceships. I have every confidence she'll make our name very famous in this country."
"And what about you?" Haruhi asked, curiously turning her brown eyes up to him. "In this situation you've imagined up for your sister, where will you be?"
Nekozawa blushed slightly and looked out over the yard to avoid her gaze. "Oh, they'll probably lock me in some dark tower somewhere like Elizabeth Bathory," he sighed dramatically.
Haruhi laughed. "I doubt you have as much in common with the Blood Countess," she smirked, raising an eyebrow. Nekozawa's eyes shot over to her, briefly astounded, before he snickered.
"I must apologize, Haruhi," he started, abashed, "I thought for a moment I would have to explain that one to you. I've underestimated your familiarity with vampire lore."
"You've underestimated my familiarity with Hungarian history," she corrected, "and you are forgiven. But you haven't answered me seriously. You'll graduate soon, won't you, Senpai? What will you do?"
Nekozawa hesitated then, a serious look on his face. It was certainly a topic that had come up in his mind before, but rarely did he hear it voiced. As an aristocratic descendant of royalty with a hefty trust fund, the only thing that was expected of him was that he not embarrass his family upon reaching adulthood. He wasn't expected to work, just maintain social alliances and not squander the family fortune. He'd had no real encouragement to study a trade, and no professional interests. This question of what he would do upon graduation was one that had been plaguing him for quite some time now, and no solution had arisen thus far.
"Hmmm," he sighed, chin in hand. "I never quite decided. Perhaps I'll write a book of the occult and quietly stay out of my family's way."
"By your choice, or theirs?" she asked innocently. "I mean, why would you feel like you'd be in the way?"
Nekozawa dithered, not knowing precisely how to answer. "Well…"
Haruhi cut him off. "Is it because of your sunlight thing? Or your magic?" She glanced down then at Bereznoff resting on the banister beside Nekozawa, and raised an eyebrow to him speculatively. "…Is it because of Bereznoff?..."
"No, it's… well… I mean, my mother's side is confused by all that, but not my father's side, the Nekozawas. I'm sort of the accumulation of their customs and beliefs, so I'm all right so long as I stay in Japan. I just don't know what good my… physical presence would do for them. I'll probably just inherit an estate and try to perform some helpful magic for my family's well-being. And, you know… some helpful curses as well," he smirked. Haruhi did not reply, looking blankly out over the yard, lost in thought. Nekozawa watched uncomfortably for a moment when she did not answer. He bit his lip, trying to think of something to add.
Finally, she came to a conclusion. "What about science?"
Nekozawa stared at her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Come again?"
"It's kind of like magic, right? Maybe chemistry," she continued. "Or art? I'm sure you'd be good at art. Poetry, perhaps?"
"I don't think I understand," he admitted.
"I just find it strange that you don't know what to do." Haruhi shrugged. "Or that you would just cast yourself aside like that. Everyone in the club has such big ideas for their futures. Kyouya is getting a good start on running his family's business; Hunny and Mori are going to take over their family dojos; even Tamaki has no end of ideas as to what he wants to be when he… you know, grows up."
Nekozawa scratched is head- momentarily finding himself trying to scratch underneath the band of a wig he wasn't wearing. "I suppose I won't rule anything out," he conceded, "but I need more time to think about it." He did like to read. Maybe he would join the literature department at a university. Maybe.
Another moment of silence passed between them, but it was not as pleasant as the first one. Haruhi didn't respond to him and he didn't know if she was trying to think of more possible futures for him, or if she'd just run out of things to say. Nekozawa was straining to think of something to talk about as well. He didn't know if, after this long of a pause, he should continue with the last subject or start with a new one. He wanted to keep talking to her but suddenly felt an immense pressure to say something interesting, and nothing came to mind.
It touched him to think that she cared enough to be bothered by the thought of his hopeless future, that she would take the time to consider his interests and apply them to possible professions he may want to try. He wanted to tell her how much he appreciated it, how much her friendship meant to him. More than anything, he wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked, but was afraid that would come out sounding inappropriate, or forced. He didn't want her to think he was just making conversation on such an important subject. Nekozawa wanted Haruhi to really understand just how beautiful she was. How kind she was. How clever and interesting she was. But there were no words he could think of to express this.
Also, because of her membership in the Host Club, she would probably never take him seriously.
The insufferable silence was relieved slightly when Haruhi let out a sigh. "I suppose we should get back in."
"Hmm," Nekozawa replied noncommittally. Lull in awkward conversation or not, he was perfectly content to stay out here with Haruhi and watch the sky for the rest of the night. "I'm in no hurry."
"I suppose you aren't," she smirked, "considering what you're returning to. But Tamaki will be looking for me eventually. I should find him before he has a panic attack. I'll let you know if I think of anything else. "
As she began to move, however, she was stopped by Nekozawa gently covering her hand with his own on the banister. With a slight start, she turned to him, trying to mask the growing redness in her face.
"Stay a moment," Nekozawa tenderly pleaded, his blue eyes shining in the moonlight. Haruhi's cheeks lit up, and she quickly turned away, feeling her heart increase in speed. She focused her attention on their joined hands, her chest feeling strangely full.
In honesty, Nekozawa was just as startled as her. When she'd started to move away, he suddenly realized that was the last thing he wanted her to do, and reached out impulsively. Her hand was small and warm, and it felt nice.
"…For a moment," she muttered awkwardly in reply. Nekozawa smiled at her, and she tried not to look at his face. If he could read palms, he could probably read expressions, and things would only become extra complicated if he could tell how handsome she thought he looked right now.
Of course, despite knowing that, she still made no attempt to disentangle her hands from his.
"I have to admit," Haruhi began, hoping conversation would force her heavy heartbeat to subside, "Tamaki and I… well, I think we may have had the same secret reason for coming here, even though we don't know your family very well."
"Oh?" Nekozawa turned to her curiously, raising an eyebrow. Haruhi continued to avoid looking at him, instead gazing out across the yard.
"Well," she continued slowly, "you see… I think we're a little jealous. We never had any siblings. And I know I- at least- never will."
Nekozawa was quiet, not sure quite how to respond to such a confession.
She went on. "Tamaki really connected with Kirimi, back when she was hanging out at the club a lot. I did a little, too, while reading her all that manga… more than I admit. But mostly I just remember thinking, how tragic that you have this family, this type of relationship, and you can't connect with her. It really makes me glad that you two are getting along better now. I just… wanted to tell you that."
For a moment, he didn't say anything, stunned by her feelings. Soon after, a broad, genuine smile stretched across his face.
"Thank you. That… hearing that from you… it makes me happy. And… though I've said this before… thank you and your club for your help in bringing us closer. Sincerely."
His eyes shone with happiness, and Haruhi couldn't help but to grin, delighted. Nekozawa had such overwhelming love for his sister, it was touching to say the least, and she hoped one day the two of them would find a common ground to share. "She must be very special to you," Haruhi commented.
"She is still the day to my night," he replied, his eyes drooping with a hint of sadness. "She doesn't scream when she sees me anymore, but she still prefers me… well, like this," he gestured towards himself, indicating the white suit and absence of his wig. "But I can't do that all the time. I tolerated it today because it's her birthday, but… well, you saw."
Haruhi nodded solemnly.
"She is still unreachable. And since by the time she starts school I'll be long since moved out, I wonder if to her I'll ever be much more than a mysterious black shadow trailing after her."
"Of course you will," Haruhi replied matter-of-factly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "She's just a child now. Lots of things will scare her. But if she's already warming up to you, it won't be much longer until seeing that black cloak of yours will be more a thing of familiar comfort than fear. She just needs the time to get to know you."
Nekozawa snorted at first, abolishing the very idea, but then as he repeated the words in his mind, he began to really think them over. There was no way it could be that simple, could it? He opened his mouth, and the closed it again, trying to formulate a reply. Just like that? Was Haruhi able to solve his biggest and most vexing problem, just like that? Could it really be that simple? Surely it would take much more than time to sway his sister's opinion of him. It was impossible. Right? Could Kirimi really just… grow out of it? After spending countless nights praying to his dark Gods for just that… could it be that, in the form of Haruhi, they'd sent him a sign that they were granting his request? He couldn't fathom any possibility of that being true, and yet it made sense. Kirimi was only three… well, four, as of tonight. She could easily grow used to him… she could even come to love the darkness. It could be everything he'd ever wanted. All he had to do was wait.
Haruhi was looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to reply. As if in response to her patience, Nekozawa began to chuckle lowly under his breath.
"You are phenomenal," he finally said. "You didn't even do anything, and I feel as though an immense pressure has been lifted off my chest. No wonder you're 'The Natural' at your club!"
"Don't you stand there and tell me you didn't once think of that!" she responded, crossing her arms half in amusement, half in disbelief. "Because I won't believe it. She's just a little girl. Of course she'll be afraid of the dark!"
"I admit," he explained, "I've never allowed myself to think it. If it had ever crossed my mind, I quickly banished it. I suppose I felt that… if it wasn't through black magic… I didn't deserve it."
"Anyone who wants the love of their family deserves to have it. You just have to give it time. You're a great big brother. After all-" She reached up and flicked a strand of blond hair out of his face- "you're willing to put up with this for her."
Haruhi smiled at him in her charming, genuine way, and he was reminded in an instant why this girl was so popular. Such an honest girl, she had such a talent for making complicated things seem so simple. Everyone at the school was so pampered and protected, but Haruhi was so real. For a moment, Nekozawa found himself entertaining the very selfish idea that he wanted to keep her, all to himself.
"You always know just what to say," he mused. A thought struck him then, and he slowly circled around behind her. She turned to face him, leaning her back against the banister. "If Kirimi is the sun, do you know what you are?"
Haruhi shrugged, unable to guess. His arms came forward then, and he laid his hands on the railing on either side of her. Haruhi gasped, suddenly realizing that in one movement, he had completely surrounded her. Her face went ablaze as Nekozawa leaned forward with a predatory smile, forcing them to lock eyes. She couldn't back up or move away. She was trapped.
"You're the moon," he finally said. He could see her eyebrow start to raise in question, and he continued, his eyes gleaming. "However dark the night may be, the moon shines brightly through it, relieving it of its blackness without chasing it away. The darkness… can touch the moon."
He leaned in close enough for Haruhi to feel his breath on her cheek. Her heart pounded as one half of her mind tried to find a way out of this situation, and the other half, contrastingly, couldn't see why she would want to. She understood what he was implying. She just didn't understand why she couldn't simply brush it off, why she felt so warm and light headed at his closeness, and the tone of his voice, and the fire behind his eyes.
"Then… what about a lunar eclipse?" Haruhi regretted the words the moment they stumbled from her mouth. Nekozawa's features took on a strange intensity; an almost feral smirk stretched across his lips, and his eyes burned into hers so fiercely that she could not help but feel intimidated.
"You mean, when the darkness completely envelops the moon? Surrounds it, and takes its light for itself?"
She did not think it was possible for him to be any closer to her than he already was, but to her great shock he leaned closer still, looming over her so she had to crane her neck upward to meet his gaze. She could feel the heat from his body, and it terrified and excited her. In a devilishly playful whisper, he continued, just loud enough for her alone to hear.
"…I should very much like to show you that."
It felt to Haruhi like her blood exploded with fire, heating her body and threatening to crack her ribs against the beating of her over taxed heart. She suddenly became intensely aware of the very minimal distance between their faces, and how incredibly easy it would be to close that distance. Her usually rational and logical mind was devoid of advice, and she found she could only seem to focus on Nekozawa's lips, and eyes, and arms. Slowly, ever so slowly, she began to lean forward to meet him.
Nekozawa, for his part, was doing all in his power to remain perfectly still. He noticed, with no small amount of anticipation, that Haruhi was leaning in closer, and he wanted desperately fill the gap between them, to embrace her, to wrap his arms around her and pull her body against him. He wanted to show her how it looked; how it tasted; how it felt when the darkness enveloped the moon. He wanted to touch her. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted her.
But he'd made a promise. He swore, after the first time, that he wouldn't kiss her again. And if nothing else, he was a man of his word.
If she kissed him first, however, well, all bets were off.
And so he waited.
The distance between their parted lips now was barely an inch, and he could feel the heat of her mouth on his. Her eyes were half lidded, and though only moments had passed, they were agonizingly slow, and Nekozawa could feel that he was nearly at the end of his restraint.
But then, as he was about to give up and meet her halfway to end his torture, Haruhi stopped. Leaning away, she turned her face shyly from him with a small frown, willing the colour in her face to recede. Recognizing her change of heart, Nekozawa took a step back, defeated.
For a long time, neither of them spoke. They stood apart, avoiding each other's eyes and trying to slow the beating of their hearts. Finally, Haruhi took a deep breath and forced herself to look at Nekozawa.
"I should… go look for Tamaki," she said.
Nekozawa nodded in agreement, trying to regain his composure, though blushing furiously. Though the evening was dark and cool, he was wishing desperately that he had his cloak at that moment. Instead, he turned to look over the balcony into the courtyard.
Haruhi turned hurriedly away from him, but then stopped and half turned back. "By the way, I just remembered. I have your book. It's in my bag. I'll just… leave it on the table."
"Oh… yes. Thank you," he awkwardly replied. He did not know which table she meant, as several were set up now, but he figured he'd find it eventually. He listened as she padded over to the sliding glass door and opened it to re-enter the party. However, before stepping through, she stopped. Nekozawa held his breath, afraid she would tell him that he should leave her alone from now on, or something equally horrible. He gripped the railing, his warm affection for her now freezing into an icy fear. But instead of reprimanding him, he heard Haruhi utter under her breath, "Oh my God."
Turning, Nekozawa saw that Haruhi was still in the doorway, staring into the party with a look on her face that landed somewhere between angry and humiliated. His curiosity overtaking him, Nekozawa followed behind her, and scanned the crowd to see what had warranted such a reaction. Just as he registered what had caught Haruhi's attention, as his mouth fell open in horror, Haruhi frowned, and sighed, "The twins are here."