Author's note: I am so sorry for taking so long to post this chapter. I can only say that, when life gets in the way, there's no budging it. We are now on the final stretch of this story. It will not be long now!
Thank you to MarieYotz for her betaing services and for being, generally, lovely.
Much love
Jane
Chapter 22
"But you have magic!"
"And you have your mother's whiny tone, Miss Swan." The voice came through the receiver, crackled and metallic.
"Gold! Please."
"May I remind you, Miss Swan, that you owe me a favor that I am yet to collect. Not the other way around. And I am not in the habit of extending credit."
"You can't do this. You know why she's here. You owe her. You. Owe. Her." Emma punctuated each of her words with a finger to the rock wall of the mine as if it had been Gold's chest. Or nose.
"I owe her nothing, Miss Swan. Now, I am not interested in extending this conversation any further. You have a good day, now, and leave me to my business."
"She does not deserve this, Gold. Debt or not. You can't leave someone to this. You've been here, you know what it feels like."
"Indeed I have been there. Nothing that can't be coped with. Besides, you are a resourceful sort. You'll find a way."
"You're it! You're my way!"Breathe, Emma, she told herself. Keep him talking.
"I did have better hopes for the savior, Child of True Love, than placing all your eggs in this one old basket, Miss Swan."
"Anything! I'll do anything, Gold." She was losing him. Losing it and losing her one chance. The enormity of it, of what was left when he said no, was overwhelming and her voice cracked as she pulled at her hair, wiped at the tears, waiting, just waiting and hoping that she might have something, anything that he might want badly enough.
"Tempting terms but I am sticking to my original game plan. Not interested, I regret to say."
And the phone went dead, the electronic version of a dead end.
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Henry panicked. Did fairies faint? There was nothing in the book… nothing and he didn't know anything about women in general or fairies in particular or even about fainting and now Leroy was going to kill him because he had told him to take care of her and now she was passed out on Snow's area rug and oh, crap, crap, crap.
For a moment he just looked at Nova's body the floor, twisted at a weird angle and then he thought that it might be a good idea to do something, anything. He ran to the sink and soaked a dish cloth in cold water. He knelt by the fairy and while he was dabbing her forehead with the cold cloth, he found himself wondering about her wings, if there were wings on her back and if that was why she was wearing such a huge sweater. He wanted so desperately to have a look that was bordering on creepy so he just fidgeted a little because why was it taking so long for her to wake up.
When Nova tentatively blinked, Henry had more questions than ever. She pushed herself to a sitting position on the rug and Henry ran to fetch some water. He sat in front of her, simply observing her drink and blink as if there was sand in her eyes.
.
.
Nova could not quite understand why she was on the floor or why the Mayor's son was sitting in front of her, studying her with eyes so serious and an expression so closed that it would have been well at home on his mother's face.
"Do you have wings?" Henry had too many questions but in the end, that was the one that bubbled up first.
Nova dropped her glass when her hands went convulsively to her back, at an awkward angle, trying to feel what she was sure was there. "Mother Superior said no." But her fingers touched where she could reach and swear she felt something there. The same something that burned and bumped against the habit until she couldn't wear it anymore than she could fit into children's dresses.
"Do you believe her?"
Nova hid her face in her hands. "She's… she's Mother Superior and…"
"Except she's not. No really. She's the Blue Fairy, isn't she?"
"She said no and I…"
"Why are you touching your back, then?"
"Because it my wings should they're not because there's no magic. Mother Superior said so." Her hands strained to get to the center of her back and feel something there just to make sure she was not losing her mind.
"Can I have a look?"
"What if there is nothing there?"Henry shrugged because he didn't know and it genuinely puzzled him. "What if I am going crazy?"
"Because you feel like you should have wings and you don't?" Nova merely nodded, still trying to reach behind her back. "You're fairy. Why wouldn't you have wings?"
"Because Mother Superior says that there is nothing there. That there is no magic here. Why would I have wings if there is no magic?"
"Do you know there are birds that have wings even if they can't fly?"
"Really?"
"Yeah. Can I have a look?"
Nova turned her back to Henry and raised the ugly sweater so that he could see her back.
.
.
To Henry, it was equal measures gross and disappointing. There was a reddened patch of skin that rose in two distinct lumps from an otherwise pale and smooth skin and looked remarkably like two huge, infected pimples. But no wings. He'd hoped that if Nova had had wings, it would mean that she would have magic. That she would not need fairy dust to do magic. Certainly would explain Blue's behavior, trying to control Nova.
Like any boy, he wanted to touch the two lumps and see what it was all about but was simultaneously repulsed by it.
"Henry?" Nova asked from the safety of her arms closed around her head. What could he say? Yeah, they could be wings. Then again, for all he knew, it could be just a large mosquito bite.
"It looks infected. Do you think that is why you are not feeling well?" Nova put her sweater down. For a moment she had been hoping the boy would tell her that there were wings coming out of her back because then she would not be losing her mind. "Do you wish they were wings?"
Nova nodded, sad. "All I ever wanted was to be a fairy godmother."
"Why weren't you?"
"Too clumsy. Too silly. Too distracted. Not good enough. I was never good enough to be one."
"My mom needed one… when she was little. I don't think she would have minded you being clumsy. She could use one now."
For a moment, Nova saw a future ahead of her. She saw herself fluttering between children that needed her and making all their worries go away. And then there was only Blue's closed off expression and tight blue habit reminding her that not only she was not good enough, she had no wings and no wand.
"There is no magic in this land, Henry. I have no wings, no wand… even if I wanted to…"
"Don't you want to?"
"I do. God, there is nothing I want more but…"
"Well, that thing on your back, that could be your wings coming back."
"What of a wand?"
"Do you really need one? My mom could do magic without one."
"The wand is the source of a fairy's power, Henry. It is fairy power concentrated…"
"What happened to the wands? I mean, every nun at the convent was a fairy and every one had a wand… so what happened to those wands?"
"I… maybe they didn't make it here… to Storybrooke."
"But what if they did?"
"Then Mother Superior would have given them back. They are part of the fairy… like an arm or a leg…"
"What if she didn't?"
"Why would she do that, Henry?"
"Maybe she wants them all to herself."
"That's not… I mean… Blue is not like that…"
"Are you sure?"
A stubborn little something in her head moved around a little, a shadow in the woods at night but the same way it appeared leaving Nova with a vague feeling that yes, Blue was exactly like that, it left, forced away by a blinding pain that threatened to split her head in two.
Nova breathed through the nausea caused by the pain and could not commit either way.
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Children's drawings hung from the classroom walls where they were precariously stuck with blue tack. It was an unlikely setting to decide a matter of life and death and still Dr Hopper could not help but think that it was oddly appropriate. "The Prosecution asks for the death penalty." Even the thought aggravated his nervous stutter and made him wipe at his spectacles compulsively with the tail of his flannel shirt.
There was a clearing of throats around the table.
"It pains me to say, but I believe that the Prosecutor may be right in this one instance." Blue pronounced when nothing else was forthcoming. "Her Majesty has shown ample kindness and mercy to the Evil Queen. You have offered countless opportunities to change, stayed an execution. I myself stopped the arrows on that day. And not a day has gone by when I have not questioned that decision. Many have died- slaughtered- because she was free, because she was shown mercy. I cannot help but think that, painful decision though it might have been, having her destroyed… having her executed that day would have avoided the precarious situation we are in now. Can you honestly tell me that you do not regret that decision, Your Majesty? Can you honestly tell me that you do not regret the years you missed of your daughter's life or those that died between the day of the execution and the day the curse enveloped our land? Can you tell me that you do not regret The Hunter's death?"
"That is not on her shoulders, Blue!" Charming intervened, trying to keep his voice level. He succeeded only partly. "Those were Regina's decisions."
"Indeed, Your Highness, but decisions she was free to carry out because she was alive and free. Even though we all knew better."
Snow shrunk into her seat and looked perilously close to tears. Charming wanted to spare her this but he had told her himself of the risk. He had warned her on that very day.
"If I may, Your Highness," Dr Hopper stuttered through the interruption, "I thought, back then, that Her Majesty was right in her decision. I have always believed that kindness and mercy bear richer fruits than stricter justice."
"The evidence begs to differ, Dr Hopper." Blue's stern gaze was intensely trained on Dr Hopper and it took all his strength to utter his next sentence.
"You taught me that, Blue. You showed me mercy when no one else would have."
The clicking of Granny's knitting needles was the only sound in the room until she sighed heavily. "Look, I have a diner to run and I am running out of patience with this so I'm just going to say it: I am voting against a death sentence. We were all there for the trial. We all heard what was said and there is no point rehashing it. Quite frankly, most of what I heard makes me want to throw up in my mouth. But more than that." She put her knitting on the table and took her crossbow from under her chair and set on the table with a loud clunk. "If you think that executing her will be a fitting punishment, then I suggest that take the sword and you look her in the eye while you swing that sword at her neck. I can't. I can't look at her and think I'm better than you and swing that sword. If you would take her life despite all that you now know, then you owe it to her to look into her eyes and hear her last words. And if you can't do that, then perhaps she does not deserve to die."
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Nova was starting to like Henry. Sure, children were sacred and should always be liked but she was starting to like Henry despite his age, despite him being a child. It was easy talking to him. He did not make her feel like a fool for thinking she had wings sprouting on her back and he asked questions that helped her think, that helped her breakdown things into tiny increments, more manageable. Easier to deal with. And it was probably because of that that she followed him to the mine. Even though there was a tinge of guilt to her. She should have known this. She should have known that there was a child in need of a fairy godmother or just a fairy or a friend and she should have done something.
She wasn't quite sure how to get into that cave and face the Mayor so when Henry approached the bars to greet his mothers, she stayed slightly behind, trying to pluck up with the courage to do something meaningful, something within her particularly scant resources.
She saw Henry lace his arms around his mother's waist and then hug the Sheriff and even though they were in such a terrible predicament, they were a family. She thought it was perhaps best that she leave and let them have their privacy but Henry called her forward. The Sheriff seemed less than happy to have her there, her keen eyes trained on her as if at any moment she would attack one of them.
Henry beckoned her forward. "Do you remember Nova, mom?"
It was not as an aggressive a stare as that of the Sheriff, but it was a gaze that was full of suspicion and hurt and, from what she had heard during the trial, for plenty of good reasons. Nova felt the shame bubble in her heart and in her stomach.
"I'm sorry." It blurted out of her mouth before she could even think about it. And it did not surprise only her. The Mayor's head snapped up from gazing at her son still as much in her arms as possible with the bars between them and there was surprise and shock there. "I am so sorry. Please forgive us. You should have been protected. No matter whose daughter or how you had been fated, you should have had someone on your side. Someone to look over you and protect you. I am so sorry."
"Why are you here?" Emma's stance was of aggressive defense. She had her arms across her chest and seemed ready for battle, with her bare hands if she needed to.
"I told her to come. Blue wants her back at the convent but I think that's a bad idea."
Emma pulled her son aside only enough to give her an illusion of privacy but well within reach should Nova try to attack Regina. "Kid! Come on! Why do we even care? Nuns should be in the convent. Honestly, I don't like them. I don't trust them as far as I can spit them. Any of them."
"Emma, come on! There has to be a reason Blue wants her there so badly. She was not happy when I offered to walk with Nova. And Nova doesn't want to go back there and she doesn't know how to explain it."
"Doesn't know or doesn't want to?"
"Doesn't know. And I, for one, intend to find out why is so scared of Blue."
"Kid… This is not a Scooby-Doo Saturday morning special…"
"What if she can help mom, Memma? She is a fairy. Maybe she can help us. Please trust me on this. I have a feeling she can help."
"I trust you kid. I'm just not sure we can trust her."
.
.
Nova looked Regina in the eye and that took almost all her strength. "I don't know why you were abandoned like that."
Regina thought for a second, trying to understand precisely what the fairy was getting at. "Maybe there weren't enough fairies to go around." She suggested and there was a hint of malice in her voice, a curl on her lip, the one that used to scare Sister Astrid out of her wits.
"I don't think that was why. All I ever wanted was to be a fairy godmother. I was available. I know I'm not good enough, but surely having someone like me would have been better than no one at all."
It was the sad note in Nova's voice that struck a chord with Regina. "Maybe it was important that I was left to my own devices."
"If it was, then please, you must know, we are not all the same. All I ever wished for was to be a fairy godmother. Instead, I was out collecting fairy dust."
"Perhaps that was career progression?" Regina felt that this was not a conversation she was equipped to have, not without ruffling some feathers- or outright plucking them- but Emma was busy with Henry and it seemed that it would fall to her to keep the fairy going. "I mean…"
"Career progression? No… it was like a calling. Except I'm not good enough. Wasn't good enough. Not even to collect the dust. Maybe if I'd been less clumsy…"
"Did Blue tell you that?"
"She didn't have to, did she? Some things you just need to look in her eyes to know. And I was a disappointment to her."
And that was something that Regina was familiar with.
"In this land there is a saying about not giving up on your dreams." And she could not quite believe she was having this conversation with a fairy, of all beings. It wasn't like she suddenly resented never having had a fairy godmother. You can't miss what you never had, and a fairy was a fairy, annoying flying bugs, all of them, beyond all reasonable thinking… Except this was Henry's fairy. She looked at her son and her heart beat a powerful beat in her chest, the familiar feeling of love coursing through her veins fast and furious at the sight or thought of the boy. "You should follow your dreams."
"There is no magic in this land."
"I suppose that's a hindrance. "
"I suppose."
"I'm not sure anyone should take advice from me, Nova, but after all this time, I have come to believe one thing: the things you regret the most are the dreams you do not chase."
There was an awkward moment where Nova seemed to be weighing the pros and cons of chasing dreams in Regina's fashion. And then it was gone. "Can I be yours?"
"My what?"
"Your fairy godmother, of course!"
For a moment, Regina's heart beat out of pace. She wanted to be annoyed at that galling optimism of the fairy but all she could feel was an ineffable sadness.
"I'm beyond that now Nova but thank you for the offer…" Nova's enthusiasm dropped more than a notch. "Thank you for the sentiment."
Of course, Nova thought. Why would anyone want to be under her protection? They would probably need protection from her. She only nodded while Regina sunk into her cot with discrete grimace when she sat.
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Granny picked up her knitting and resumed the fastidious work. Except for Blue, all eyes rested uneasily on the crossbow that seemed to have formed a presence of its own.
"I don't think any of his council ever considered death penalty a viable choice." David weighed in because he hadn't considered it. Not really. Maybe on those first days when Emma was hunkering down in the mine and he could only miss his daughter, miss her grown up and miss her a baby still, warm from her mother's body. Maybe then, but not since, not really. And the before the curse felt like a different life, a different country, where people had different customs that he could not really understand.
"Good." Granny grumbled. "So let us move on to the real discussion, then." And her fingers laced red wool over the needles.
"Every man is guilty of the good he did not do." Dr Hopper broke the silence with a soft remark that could easily have been for his own benefit. Beside him, Geppetto nodded sagely at the assessment.
Blue's head whipped around at that, then stood and paced the room. "That is absolute rubbish. We are responsible for our own decisions. This is ridiculous! Next you will tell me that she should have been defended from a loving father or that I am to blame to for her choices." The offense of the remark vibrated in her tone like a too tight chord.
"Well…" Ruby mumbled none too subtly from her seat, eyes cast to the window.
"What could that possibly mean?" The Fairy bristled. "You cannot seriously be undertaking to accuse me of this."
"Uh… no… not yet. But…" Ruby started out hesitant but her voice grew in confidence as she spoke. "I would like to know why. I mean, if you know what people are fated for and protect that destiny, then you should have known what hers was. And protected her- or failing that, protected us - from her destiny. Why didn't you? That's what I would like to know."
"Miss Lucas, you have been in this land too long. I am not their God. I am not all powerful. And I did my level best to protect us, to give us a fighting chance."
"But you knew about her."
"Miss Lucas, I never_" Strong opposition or not, Ruby was on a roll and she cut Blue short."Did you know about me? Did you know what I was going to become?"
"And while we're at it, did you know about the dog collar you put on Regina?" Granny spoke while still knitting and the effect of the knitting needles clacking furiously against each other was enough to have the council silent.
"What on earth do you mean, Widow Lucas? What exactly am I being accused of?"
"Actually, Blue," David intervened with what he hoped was a calming effect, "We are not accusing you of anything. But I would like to know that as well. Why did the collar burn her skin?" When Blue did not reply, David tacked on questions. "Did you know it would do that to her? Was that necessary?"
"With all due respect, Your Highness, I feel that I am the one standing trial right now and quite frankly, I cannot say that I_"
"Why are you being so defensive?" Maybe it was the whole thing with Nova, but Leroy spoke none too kindly. Not that he ever did. The truth was his stock and trade. "Do you have anything to hide?"
"Don't be ridiculous! Has this trial turned the truth into lies? Have you all forgotten the death, the destruction, the hurt and the pain this woman caused you? Us? Have you forgotten the knife to your side, dear Snow? Have you forgotten the pain of your daughter's birth only to lose her? The murdered innocent? The collar stopped her magic. That was all. How confident are you that she would not have done all those things during her trial had I not stopped her? She had nothing else to lose. Destroying us is in her nature. And you know that."
"Did you know, Blue? Did you change the bars in her cell so that she could not so much as touch her son without being burned?" Snow asked, hands clutched to her chest
"And your daughter, don't forget that, Your Majesty." Snow's jaw dropped open at Blue's words, so laced with bitterness. "She is touching her too. She's polluting your child. Polluting the child of true love. "
"Did you know, Blue? Did you choose to do that?" David put his hand over the Fairy's wrist only to be swatted away.
"Your Highness!" And the rebuke was a polite version of an extended middle finger with which the fairy turned and stood up to leave. "When you come to your senses, let me know. I only hope the Evil Queen is not too powerful to be stopped then. The Savior has already been corrupted. You are all tilting in the same direction. Who's to stand against evil, I ask you?" And the door closed behind her with a thud that had a childish drawing of dragon coming unstuck to flutter gently to the ground.
"What if she's right, Your Majesty?"
Dr Hopper placed his hand on Geppetto's shoulder. "I think, my friend, that we all know that we cannot fight evil with evil. If that was all it ever was anyway. There may be no justification for the things that Regina has done. But there can be understanding. And there can be hope. I think, most of all, there can be hope." He looked out of the window. "I don't believe Regina is corrupting the child of true love…" Dr Hopper looked at Snow ruefully. "Maybe the child of true love is healing a deeply hurt woman with that love."
"It hardly seems fair… after all she has done." Snow ventured but it was tentative, as if she could not make the conviction of the words reach her heart.
"Fairness is a funny thing…" Grumpy ventured softly.
"Indeed," Dr Hopper removed his spectacles and wiped them again on the tail of shirt. "All of us here in this room, we are all mostly made out of flaws, held together with good intentions. Does that absolve us?"
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Emma looked at her phone. Gold was not taking her calls anymore. She was going about this the wrong away and that was not usual for her. One thing she knew was that when you need a favor, you do not make a pest of yourself. You charm and you allure but you do not antagonize and badger. It seemed, with Gold, that ship had sailed.
She punched keys randomly because it helped with her thought process. She had no magic to speak of. No knowledge of magic and very little knowledge of the world she'd been born in, of its rules. What she needed now was to gather intelligence. She needed to know where to go to get magic and how to use magic or to find someone who could. "Henry? Where's your book, kid?"
To Henry, the book did not require any further explanations. There was only one. Henry pointed to his backpack. He knew it by heart but was not about to leave it any odd place. He carried it with him like other boys carry Swiss army knives they did not know how to put to good use.
"What are you looking for?" Regina sat by the bars, pillow between her and the metal, sipping water. The dark circles under her eyes scared Emma more than anything, more than the sudden sickness or the dizziness or the fainting spells. They impressed on her the need to move fast, the need to get her out of here, into the fresh air, into a clean bed or a hospital to get her checked out.
"A way out."
Regina lowered her eyes into her lap. "Emma…"
"No, hear me out, okay? Whatever they come up with, I want you out of here. This hole in the ground is not…" At a loss for words, she almost crawled from where she was leaning against the rock wall to kneel by Regina and hold her hands through the bars. "We are not… I'm not taking this as a solution, Regina. And they will do what they need to do and we will do what we need to do. And that is getting you out of here. And I for one am not trusting the fairies for that. No offense, Nova."
Nova simply nodded a none taken.
"But… do you think the book can help?" Henry asked coming to sit with them.
"I don't know where else to look." Emma admitted. "It's not like I know anything about that place. So I guessed going back to the beginning might be a good start."
"What are we looking for?"
"Magic, Kid."
"Mother Superior says there is no magic in this land…" Emma simply snorted, a sound so unladylike that it made Regina raise her eyes from where she had them, trained on her hands and smile at Emma.
"That's not true though... otherwise we would not have these bars between us. She locked them with magic." Henry's face closed off, a sadness so intense coming over his features that it made him look old.
"But that is not magic from this land. She did that with fairy dust which is magic from our land..."
.
.
Regina could see the moment the idea solidified in Emma's mind and a shiver ran down her spine as if trouble had arrived, just not yet announced itself.
"So what we need is to get more dust."
"Except there isn't any more, Memma."
"Because Mother Superior was attacked." Nova's words were slow and dragged as if she was trying to make sure of them herself.
""Yeah, right… If only I believed that."
"You don't?" Nova's eyes were wide and expectant.
"No, Nova, I don't. Do you honestly believe that she was attacked?"
.
.
Nova's head was going to explode. Everything went fuzzy first and then simply swirled around and around in her head as if it was scrambling her brain. The shadow in the woods imprinted in her eyes swollen and distorted and it took over herhead, her heart, even her wings. It became all she knew, that threat and the absolute pain that came with it in waves.
When Nova came to, she was against the bars of the cell, with the Mayor dabbing a cold cloth on her forehead and her wings throbbing again.
.
.
It had been too long. Too long without magic and still, Regina thought, she could smell it, she could feel it on others. She could fear it. This was something that would have been at home in her household, in her mother's hands turned against her. Regina dabbed at Nova's forehead because this was magic, the really bad kind and she knew what it felt like in her own body. No, she had no reason to doubt Nova and every reason to believe that Blue had done something to the rest of the dust. And there was just enough will in her, just enough backbone to be angry, furious, livid at Blue. Which was a change because lately she felt nothing but a molasses of grief and regret.
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
An ache pounded at Snow's head, so intense that it was near to blinding. She closed her eyes before the urge to throw up became too overwhelming to resist.
"I need some fresh air… I need…" She opened the window and leaned over the parapet inhaling deeply. Bile rose burning through all the way up to her mouth and she barely had time to grab a dustbin, but there was nothing but dry heaves. Behind her, the council remained still.
"Snow… You do not need to decide today." Ruby stood and was going to walk to her friend, the comfort she knew she could provide an impulse born out of an old habit, but David rose his hand to stay her movement.
"We don't need to decide anything today…" Geppetto offered.
Gathering some semblance of control, Snow cleaned her mouth and deposited the still empty bin on the floor. "Until we decide, she will be there. Regina will be there, in that dark hole. I could not breathe in there. I felt like my chest did not work properly."
"That was not a problem before, YourMajesty, when we contained Rumplestiltskin in there."
Snow felt she was going to be sick, the bile rising again, burning everything at its passage. No, containing Rumplestiltskin in there had not felt quite right to her either. "I want to go home." She looked up at her prince. She wanted to go home and put her head in her pillow and forget about everything, about the weight of the decisions that awaited her, about Regina and Emma in that hole. She wanted to be a child again without a care in the world. "I want to go home."
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Leroy left the council room with his hands stuffed deep into his pockets, frustration simmering right under his skin, making it crawl. In a way, it did not matter at all if they made a decision today or not because those bars were not giving an inch. But he was a man of action. He was a doer and not doing, staying still even if just in indecision- made his beard itch and his hands ache for the feel of a cold one or an axe to break things.
Snow left the school building leaning heavily on her prince and that irritated him a little because this was not the Snow he knew, the Snow that was a doer just like him. This was Snow cowering under the weight of her sins and he wanted to shake her until she returned his Snow to him. This was getting on his nerves and as he turned to leave, he bumped into Mrs Cooke.
"It's not fair, Leroy."
"What isn't?"
"Any of this. If here is punishment to be meted out, the Mayor should notbe the only one in line for it."
Snow caught just the rest of it, and he could see the recognition in her eyes. "They have this thing in this land, Your Majesty… He without sin cast the first stone."
"Not all sins are the same, Mrs Cooke."
"No, they are not, Your Majesty. But we all have them. Will we all stand trial and receive punishment?"
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
The populace was a beast he knew and admired for its simplicity and perfection: toss them a reason for the things that afflict them, give it name and tell them who to blame for it and they are ready, rearing to go. The Prosecutor sat in the late afternoon sun and courted the populace. He showed them what was wrong with their lives and told them how the Mayor and Evil Queen had done that to them, specifically to them and how Queen Snow now had her hands tied behind her back given her daughter's poor judgment. Carefully, he explained how the kingdom was as good as in the hands of the Evil Queen again and softly stirred the pot bringing it to a boil. It would not take much, only a few more careful words and the beast, the populace would be asking for a new king. A king with an iron fist and an unbendable will.
Obviously, humbly, he would step up and for his first act of power, he would eliminate the Evil Queen and the threat of evil. That should be a nice kick start to a long and fruitful reign.
.
.
It was sheer bad luck for Snow- or so it felt like it at that moment- that she would sniff the coup in the wind. It stank and it offended her already tired eyes but needs must. With the practiced ease of a dancing couple, Snow and David moved arm in arm until they stopped in from of the car against which the Prosecutor was leaning by way of soapbox. He had his public entranced and could not disband them until it was too late for plausible deniability. Snow moved in on him, toe to toe, nose to nose and spoke without a hint of hesitation or concession to the aura of migraine already clouding her eyes.
"You do remember what we do with traitors back home, do you not, King George? Make no mistake: a guillotine is perfectly simple to build and treason is still treason." George's eyes narrowed in challenge because this was Snow and Snow was not a bloodthirsty queen. "I know how fond you are of the old land's rules. Let's see how fond you are of living- or dying- by them." And with that, she did a quick sweep of the small –and quickly thinning crowd- with her eyes including them in the very open threat.
.
.
David would not lie: this Snow was the one he had fallen in love with and it shot straight to his groin, making him hard, that power, that surety in her voice. He lingered a step behind, just making sure and then trailed after her, high fiving Leroy simply because this felt a lot like the best part of old times.
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Emma and Regina were huddled together, Regina's hands over Emma's on the iron bars that separated them, foreheads so close they could feel each other's warmth.
"It's a spell. Every time Nova tries to remember something, the spell stops her with pain. Excruciating pain. She's better off not remembering. Leave her." Regina spoke, both index fingers rubbing tinny little circles over Emma's.
"I need to know. Blue sits on that council. I need Nova to prove that Blue sabotaged this whole thing."
"She won't be able to. You saw it yourself. She will die before she can speak of it. Leave her alone."
"I can't. Don't you see, Regina, as long as people believe her- and by people I mean the council and Snow- we don't stand a snowball's chance in hell."
"I. You mean I don't stand a chance. I don't want this for you or Henry, Emma."
"Sure, me either but_" Regina captured Emma's lips with hers. The initial aggression born out of the need to change Emma's train of thought softened into a sweet kiss, loaded with need and longing, something languid that brought the wind and the rain and the sunshine into the darkness of her cell and filled it with freshness. Regina knew where this was going. Emma was a Charming through and through. If the trial did not work out the way Emma thought it should, they would both be stuck here, separated by bars, with Emma doing time, screwing up her life to a point where she would resent Regina for everything. Like everybody else. You can't really change the way you feel (and she wouldn't. This thing with Emma was the best she'd ever felt since Daniel) but you can make yourself do the right thing despite your feelings.
"She is dangerous, Emma. And you have upset her apple cart enough that she might just hate you. Stay away from her. Stand clear. I can't..." The expression she was looking for was I can't lose you but didn't that defeat the purpose?
"I can handle her. But I need to get you out of here. What do you think she did with the dust?"
Regina licked her lips and she could still taste Emma and the kiss. "I don't…"
"She hid it… I would have hidden it. Somewhere where she can get to it again. Keep an eye on it… it's precious, isn't it? A source of magic in a land without magic…"
"Destroyed it. I would have destroyed it."
Emma looked from their joint hands to Regina's face. Sometimes, it was so difficult to remember that this woman had been the Evil Queen. And then, sometimes, those things were right there, shadows no longer. And none of it dulled the pull she felt towards Regina. It magnified it. It was not a despite of. It was a because of. All of these feelings filling her heart were because of.
Regina's expression closed. These were the moments she wished she could be somebody else. She could see it in Emma's face, the recognition that the Evil Queen lived on. Her fragile heart beat erratically in her chest. She wanted to spare Emma and, at the same time, didn't want to let her go.
But Emma was… more than she deserved. Emma ran her fingers over Regina's cheekbone and down her chin. "Don't ruin my hope with your evil logic. As far as I'm concerned, the blue bitch hid a baggie of dust on the insole of her shoe and is walking around like a dealer, ready to do business." The glint of mischief in Emma's eyes scared Regina out of her mind.
"Don't you dare, Emma. You don't know her. You don't know what she's capable of. Please don't. It's not worth it."
They spoke at the same time,"Regina, you are not this dumb…" and "I'm not worth it." and each was surprised but what the other had said, by the vehemence of it.
"Okay. That's it. I've had it." Emma recovered first. "I'll take that shit from anyone but you. You do not get to talk about the woman I love like that, alright? Regina, do you understand me?"
.
.
Emma's throat felt raw as if the confession had been ripped from her throat with a hot iron. She was suddenly conscious of the hands clasped firmly around Regina's delicate wrists and yet, could not make herself let go, mostly because of the utter shock of a confession she hadn't known was lurking so close to the surface. And then came the panic, of course, because now it was a thing and it was out in the open and it seemed that it was pulsing with a heartbeat of its own between hers and Regina's bodies and, god, it was scary. Which was stupid because she'd been wrapped around Regina's little finger since the moment she had pushed that old heart into her chest- maybe even from the moment she had dropped Henry at her door for the first time- and the only thing lacking was a noun, a name.
And then Regina smiled a little, and there were tears pooling at her eyes, a little, and then simply rolling down her cheeks and none of it was the smiles or the tears Emma had seen on that face before, but I was okay. Better than that, actually, because the tears were like spring rain and the smile was fragile but honest and Regina's face came to rest against Emma's fingers still closed around her wrists.
"Thank you." It was an almost non-sound but Emma heard it, loud and clear and, quite possibly, not even with her ears. "Thank you."
"What kind of response is that? Thank you? What the hell…" Regina snorted inelegantly, but this was not a ball or a town meeting and she felt she was allowed.
"Thank you." Regina said again, stronger now. "I love you. And thank you. Thank you. I love you."
Emboldened by Regina's words, drunk on them, Emma's heart wanted more and more and more. This was their moment, no matter where they were or whatfate hang over them. "Say it again."
.
.
For a terrible moment, Henry thought that Emma, his Memma was hurting his mom and he nearly dropped the pot of soup he was carrying. Then, Emma's hands closed around Regina's wrists and Regina's tears sliding slowly down her cheeks took a different meaning as she nodded slowly and a fragile but luminous smile bloomed on her face. It was a beautiful smile. He wished he had a camera that he could take a picture with because he wanted to remember it and bask in it, place it on the fridge door so that he could see it every day.
Then, he put the pot on the floor and helped Nova with the package she had been dragging from Emma's car and into the cave. He wanted to gawk and he wanted to be a part of it. He wanted to come close and be a part of that tight unit but it occurred to him at that moment that those two women were already deprived of so much that him barging in there and getting some of that palpable love was unfair, selfish and that simply knowing that it was there, well, it would have to be enough because he was not a baby. He was a man, and men took care of their own. And they were his to take care of.
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Granny's was a hub of hushed conversations and an unlikely political theatre. The pieces were moving, Granny noted, like in a chess game. She hated it. She much preferred the full speed ahead approach and instinctually, touched the crossbow that she had taken to keep under the counter by the beer glasses. Reassured, she continued, wiping glasses and serving lasagna and keeping an e on things.
Kathryn Nolan, Princess Abigail, she supposed, came and sat in front of her, shiny new ring on her finger. For all that a shit storm was gathering over Storybrooke, there were the occasional happy endings or, better yet, happy beginnings, as this was a new land. Abigail's skin glowed, pink with health and love.
"Princess Abigail. What can I get you?"
"I like Kathryn better. Is it weird?"
"You know what's weird? Bacon Marmalade." Kathryn gave a rueful smile. There was that… people smiled more, these days. "It's a thing. Look it up. No, it's not weird. Do you like your life better here?"
There was this whole princessy aura about Kathryn in the way she sat perfectly straight on a bar stool and crossed her hands on her lap as if waiting for fate to deliver on a promise. "I do. I have everything I need here. Everything I love."
"There you have it. Bacon Marmalade is weird. Liking who you are isn't."
"Granny… I'm glad I never had to walk a mile in Regina's shoes…"
"So am I, honey."
"Don't… I mean… I wish the council would… Maybe it's time life stops beating the hell out of her, you know?"
"Kathryn, I'm not good with politics and half words. I like things spelled out for me. What exactly are you trying to say?"
Kathryn fidgeted for a second, the least princessy she'd been since she had sat at that counter and then gave it up. "No death sentence, Granny. No death sentence." Her eyes were a little wild while she entreated Granny but it seemed like a weight had lifted from her chest. "Get her out of that cave too. It's a horrid place and no one deserves that. She's due a little kindness and I am happy enough to beg for it if I must."
"Why don't you talk to Snow about this? Because you're preaching to the choir…"
"Because that is weird, still."
"Gotcha."
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Granny was not the only one being approached by citizens of Storybrooke. Dr Hopper was minding his own business and dinner when young Grace slid into his booth, nervously chewing her bottom lip and checking behind her.
"Dr Hopper?" It was the interruption, more than anything. His thoughts staled on their course and lasagna sauce spilled onto his shirt. He dabbed at it with a napkin but his efforts only succeeded in spreading the stain even further. He schooled his anxious expression into one of serenity before looking at theyoung girl.
"Hi."
"My name's Grace… I'm…"
"I know. You're Jefferson's daughter."
"Yes… Dr Hopper, please… What are they going to do to Henry's mom?"
"Grace… I…"
"I'm not a child, Dr Hopper." She looked behind her again in the direction of the toilets and that nervousness was at odds with her statement about her childhood. "My Papa… He's upset. He's grieving for what he thinks we lost."
"You don't?"
"There's no point in that, is there? Killing the Queen will not give it back. Dr Hopper…" She let the words hang again when the door to the toilets moved inwards.
"I understand, Grace."
"Promise?"
"Promise. The past is the past and can't be changed. The future can." Grace smiled nervously while she retreated to her booth. Dr Hopper could see at that moment that Storybrooke had a future and that it was going to be a good one. He smiled his reassurance to Grace. He would do all that he could to preserve that future.
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Leroy was more than a little anxious and upset when he knocked on Snow's door and Henry did not come trotting to let him in. He wanted to see Nova and he wanted to talk to her because it had been a pisser of a day and, quite frankly, even the sight of her face made everything better. His first instinct was to sulk on that doorstep but passersby kept on giving him studious looks and some of them seemed like they were about to go over and talk to him about something important so he figured he might as well get going and finding Nova.
He didn't really find her. It was more like he found her trail: Emma's eyesore of a car passed him by none too confidently driven and with a mattress piled on top and his heart told him to follow it. It was rare- if it at all ever happened- that his heart spoke to him about anything at all (except perhaps as an admonition to lay off the booze) so he paid it some mind and followed the car. He was no athlete but the car was going slower than any other car in Storybrooke lately so he trailed it to the mine, huffing and puffing. Perhaps it was more than the booze. Perhaps theburgers and fries had to give too.
At least, no one seemed to be in a mind to race after him to talk about stuff.
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Snow couldn't settle, torn between the pull towards the Regina of her childhood, the one that had been wronged and befallen by unfairness, unkindness and loss; and the deep seated knowledge, if not belief, that she had not yet given Regina a chance that she had not lived to regret. She both wanted to give her yet one more chance and to not be swayed by sentimentality.
And then there was that baby. Dear god, a baby. It brought back so much of those fateful days of her childhood. She remembered. She wished she didn't. She had worked so hard at forgetting all that blood, all that hurt in Regina's face and Regina's desperate hands clutching at the white sheets of her bed without someone to sooth her, to hold her through it. It brought back the streak of jealousy and discomfort. Dear god, Regina's baby.
And why did Emma look so happy in her dream? How would Regina explain a pregnancy to Emma if they were… together? She was going to hurt Emma. She was going to break Emma's heart and… Regina was going to break Emma's heart. Just like she had broken Snow's With a baby in both instances. Snow hated herself for a moment. She was no longer a child. She knew now how Regina had come to be with child back then and how it was, more than likely, against her will, but it still grated that she was not Regina's only choice, her only child. She carved her nails into her palms, eight perfect half moons. She hated herself for feeling it all over again, for letting that feeling be real again, and it was not even the same thing and she should not even be feeling now that she was a grown woman and there was so much between them. This was different. This baby was proof of yet one more betrayal. Regina had betrayed Emma and gotten herself a baby.
A baby. So many betrayals. How would it even be possible or fair to see Regina holding a baby in her arms, nursing it, playing with it, when Snow hadn't been allowed to do the same to her own baby.
It seemed to her that life never played fair with her and Regina. They were always put in impossible positions where there seemed to be no way out. And the worry was that, no matter what she decided, there were two very, very big problems: the townsfolk that would not all welcome her decision and the bars of the cell that would not open.
Where would that leave the baby? Born behind bars and, worse, living behind bars?
Tacos.
She would make tacos. Emma seemed to find the solution to her problems was to cook tacos. There had to be some value in that. And once the tacos were done, she would think about it some more.
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Nova was not in the habit of bringing ideas to reality so this had all worked out better in her imagination than in reality. She was sweaty and disheveled and had broken two fingernails just from the awkwardness of pulling a mattress from the car to the cave. There was no comfortable or easy way to drag it and Henry, the little dear, was carting the soup and the bowls and the cutlery and was but a child. So she pulled harder. She'd been thinking about magic wands and wondered what had happened to them. She herself had never had one, but the other fairies, they'd all had their own and none of them seemed to have it now. Not that she asked. Too nervous. Too much of an outsider. Not a single one of them seemed to be having the same problem with the wings and she was too scared to ask.
This would have been easy peezy with a wand. Or so she thought. Maybe she'd be as inept with a wand as without and this was just the world doing itself a favor.
Honestly, how could she even assume she had what it took to be a fairy godmother? Pity the poor soul she took under her protection. She could not save herself a couple broken nails, how was she qualified to do this?
And then she raised her head from the mattress and straightened her back. The Mayor and the Princess were sitting on the earth floor, and there was some ineffable emotion between them, something pure and rare that Nova had never seen the likes of. It filled the cave with a sense of goodness and she was struck by how unfair it was that they be separated this way that they could do precious little more than hold hands. And even that would cost the Mayor were she to touch that metal of the bars.
It was so unfair.
She pushed the mattress a little further and that caught the attention of the two women.
"You should have had a gift from your fairy godmother, Your Majesty." Regina did not comment. She simply burrowed in Emma's hands a little more. "I know it's not the conventional gift to a new born. I don't really have any of those in me… but I was hoping you would… I mean, you told me to follow my dreams. There is no magic, so I can't really do… of course, it's not like I ever really could do much of anything, but…" Nova giggled a little because she was nervous like she had never been in her life. She took a deep breath. "Please let me be your fairy godmother. It's not a particularly good gift and I am not a particularly good fairy godmother, but…" And she had no more arguments but groveling. Which she would do. But the Mayor stood and god, she looked like she was going to cry which just went to prove how inept Nova was at this whole thing. Maybe the world would be better off if she did not follow any dreams. But the Mayor held her hand to her and said "I don't know how to thank you, Nova. Godmother."
Nova actually jumped, a little at least, because the acceptance gave her a little jolt.
"Okay… okay…" Now what? Ah, right, the mattress and the soup. She pushed the mattress towards the bars and realized that it would take a miracle for it to go through. Stupid, stupid Nova. She looked dejectedly at the bars and the mattress. A kind of resolve rained down on her. It didn't matter. There might have been no miracles to be had but there was always brute force. She raised the mattress to the bars and started pushing and squeezing it throughand then Emma and Henry were both at it, helping, pushing, squeezing and when Leroy came in, huffing and puffing as if he had ran a marathon, he put his shoulder to it and slowly but surely, the mattress was pushed past the bars with minimal damage. It landed squarely against the cot and it took only a push from the Mayor and Emma each on their side of the bars and the mattress fell into its desired position. Nova cried when Regina, sweaty and pale from the effort fell onto the mattress. "It's quite wonderful, dear. Thank you."
~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~SQ~
Emma tried her best to not toss and turn. Nova's soup and the company, the absolute normalcy of having company for dinner, almost made it possible to forget about the whole nightmarish- scratch that- the whole fucked up reality. For a few moments, they were just having a meal with friends. They were a couple with a kid and friends that were sharing a meal.
But now, in the dark, with Regina beginning her nightly exertions, the pained breathing and the occasional mewling of pain, Emma could not recapture that feeling. Now they were not just a couple with odd living arrangements. They two people in love, separated by an immovable barrier, unable to offer physical comfort. With a sentence hanging over their heads that might well include things ranging from life in prison to death sentence. She tried to believe that Snow and David would not stoop so low. That they would not give in to the pressure exerted by Storybrooke and history but faith did not come easy to her.
Regina panted softly in her sleep as if she had been panting through pain of a particularly vicious kind and then she mumbled please, no, I'll be good and no soothing that Emma offered through the bars was enough.
Tears streaked Regina's face and Emma lost it. She stood up and padded out of the cave and then out of the mine. There was a window of opportunity here. A very small window of opportunity in which to act. For all she knew, the council could come to an agreement tomorrow and whatever they decided, would be swift and decisive. And she could not live with it. She could not live with the weight of it. When she got outside, under the light of the moon, she checked her gun, her pocket knife and then patted the glove compartment of the bug for the assortment of trade tools she kept there.
Satisfied, she gave the mine guards one last sharp look and then set out pushing the bug to its creaky, squeaky limits that did not seem to improve with its more peaceful life in Storybrooke. She parked under the cover of the trees and hoofed it the rest of the way to the convent at a punishing pace.
The Blue fairy had the dust and she would find it, even if she had to pry it from the fairy's cold, dead fingers. It was about time people knew what Emma was capable of to protect the ones she loved.