Chapter 26
Regina was doing beautifully. Her breathing was calm and Emma set her own breathing in tandem without even noticing. When dawn came around, Emma called her father to come and get Henry and said nothing further, but when David arrived, Doc was with him. Emma didn't know what to make of it. She was not sure of the man's capabilities as a midwife though David swore by it, but Regina did not object.
When Doc approached Regina, he smiled and Emma liked that it didn't make Regina anxious so she stood back while he did what he could to examine her.
"There's still a ways to go." He told them. "And you're doing very well. Do you want me here or…"
Regina refused with a head movement that was just this side of too tired. Doc retreated to the corridor of the cave and laid down, ready to sleep on the floor and David carried way a still sleeping Henry.
Regina resumed her pacing and Emma with her. Soon, they had the rhythm just right. Pace, stop. Emma would put her hands on the metal of the bars and Regina would hold on to them and breathe through the contraction. And smile.
Emma could not begin to imagine how she had the will or the strength to smile. When Henry was born, she was in a bed with guards surrounding her, armed to their teeth and handcuffed to the bed. As if she could have gone anywhere with a kid half way down her pelvis.
"You know, we're making it a habit of birthing kids in jail…" Regina looked at her and smiled, grateful for the joke. "Next one, we're going to do this better… a nice clean hospital… What do you think?"
"The next one?" Regina let herself believe. Just this once, believing wouldn't hurt. The next one… "Home. I think I'd prefer home."
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.
It was too long. Too long for this to be so intense. Regina was finding it difficult to keep pacing, too tired. Doc came in and this time Whale was with him. As were Granny and Snow, Mrs. Cooke, Ruby and Nova. Too many people. Far too many. And clearly, Snow standing there was making Regina nervous, too nervous to even breathe. Emma flapped her arms around as if she had been shooing chickens. "Alright people, anyone who's not a doctor can go wait outside, this is not a public vagina exhibition so get going."
Whale unashamedly made to leave. "What?" He asked when Emma stared him down "My MD is arguable at best." But when Emma pointed to Regina, he obeyed without a thought or remark.
Doc and Whale examined Regina and it was clear to Emma that something was not quite right by the way they huddled together. Doc patted Regina's hand and helped her stand and resume her pacing. Emma was rooted to her spot. She saw them both walking towards her and felt David coming behind her (hadn't she told him to go away?) and pull her to the corridor. She was ready to fight. Whatever they had to say she didn't want to hear it.
"Your Highness." Doc touched Emma's arm in sympathy but she pulled it away. "The baby cannot be born here." Emma rolled her eyes. D'oh! Move over Homer Simpson. "What I mean is… You and the Queen… it's your baby, yes? Conceived through magic, yes?" Emma nodded dumbly. "The very existence of this child is magic in physical form." David tensed next to her as if he had understood the meaning of the words before Emma had. "The labor has...the Queen has_"
"Regina. Her name is Regina."
"Regina… she has labored and the baby is ready as is she but the birth will not happen. Not in here. Because the prison is enchanted so stop magic happening."
Emma felt punched in the gut by a bulldozer. "So what, then?"
Doc shook his head sadly but did not elaborate on his thoughts. Emma grabbed and shook him but his expression remained somber and sympathetic. "Quite frankly, I'm surprised the baby even developed. Surrounded by such powerful anti-magic force, it should have been impossible."
Emma whirled on Whale. "What? Sheriff, I know absolutely nothing about magic. But what I know is that Regina's heart is not coping well. It's arrhythmic and the pulse is week. And the baby is now in stress."
"So what are you saying?" Emma never felt so alone in her life – and that was saying a lot- and it didn't matter if her father and mother were standing right there like they had never been before.
"I'm saying that if we do nothing, they will both die."
"You said you don't know jack about births." Emma felt herself losing her grip. She could feel the hysteria bubbling up. "You said_" Her throat refused to work. "You said you don't_"
"But I know a thing or two about heartbeats… Emma. And those two are very week now."
"What do you propose?" David pressed against Whale, always confrontational.
"Get the baby out. I can't guarantee anything and this is not a place for a c-section, there should be an operating table and lights, a sterile room and God knows I'm shit at this… Look… I can't sugarcoat it… because it won't do anyone any favors… odds are one or both of them will die during the procedure, but I can't see any other option." Whale finished is explanation even with David's meaty hands around his neck squeezing steadily.
All that Emma could think was No. No, no, nononono.
"Emma." Regina called from her cell and Emma ran to her, not at all sure of what to do or what to say that would be of any use.
Regina knew this was it, that her dream had come to pass. Snow was waiting and she was dying. "Let him. Whatever happens it's Hope you need to concentrate on. Do it now, Emma before it's too late."
Emma wanted to scream. Lately it seemed that was all she wanted to do. "Don't you dare give up on her. My mother gave up on me, I gave up on Henry, and look how it turned out. Don't you give up on her. On me. Don't you give up on me."
"I think both you and Henry turned out very well. It all turned out well." Regina ran her sweaty palm over Emma's face. But I'll do my best." And the last words were already strangled by yet another contraction.
Henry flew past everyone then, running to his mother. "Hi, Mom."
"Henry." She tried to stand a little straighter but she was bending under the weight of the hours and the intensity of the pain.
"Is my baby sister coming now?"
"Or brother."
"Oh, it's a sister."
"He knew?" Emma asked because Henry had not ever made a comment about it.
"Yeah. Wasn't I good at a keeping a secret, mom?"
But another contraction stopped Regina from talking and the only thing that happened was at tear that slid down her flushed face.
"It's going be okay, Mom, you'll see. Emma will do something brilliant because she's the hero. She's the White Knight and the Savior and its going to be okay. You'll see. You just need to hold on a little bit 'cause Emma will_"
"Shut it, Henry, just shut it. What the hell do you think I can do? I'm no hero. You need to stop this crap. I can't take it anymore. I've never saved anything or anyone. The only thing I did was fuck everything up."
"Miss Swan! Don't." Regina panted. "Don't talk to Henry like that. You must be patient. You must be_" But the pain took over her again and there was only labored panting after that.
.
.
To Snow it was like reliving those days back so many years ago when Regina had lost her first baby, when she thought that Regina would die and she couldn't take it. She made a run for the exit.
Emma had gotten her running instinct from her, it seemed.
When Henry ran past her, she followed him and they huddled together, hoping for some comfort, praying for something they could do. She hadn't known what she'd expected of this. Every day she had sat with Regina, and very second of that time she had suspected and believed there was a baby coming. She had been jealous and happy and everything in between but she had never imagined this outcome. And she found that it devastated her. Because of the baby, of course, but because she had always, in way or another, compassed her life to Regina's beat, to her love and her hate for the woman. Losing her now left her with no reference point, a gaping hole right in the middle of her life.
She realized then that there were thing she still had to say, things she had been too much of a coward to say during this time she had sat with Regina in silence. And it soon would be too late.
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The air became thick with helplessness and an anticipated grief. Nova just leaned into Leroy. Henry ran past them crying and she could hear Emma's shouts at Henry and Regina's difficult breathing. How had she failed so miserably? It seemed that being someone's godmother was not just a question of wanting hard enough or trying hard enough. You really needed to have magic in you. And though she still had the two would be wings on her back, there was no magic to be had. And right now, she would happily exchange a full set of wings for that baby being born healthy and for Regina to survive this. She would give her wings and pretty much anything else for even a fraction of a happy ending.
Leroy leaned into her a placed a kiss on her lips, something soft and kind and comforting. But after a second, her mind throbbed in excruciating pain except this time, instead of passing out, it all became clear, so clear she could be seeing it, happening now, the moment she had been following Blue into the woods at night and how the fairy had taken her wand and all but blasted the vial with the fairy dust in it into something that rained over a tiny little patch of the woods like diamonds.
"Oh dear God!"
"Yeah", Leroy smiled, "That good."
"No…" Nova stumbled on her words. "I mean, yes, but I… Blue. She… I remember, Leroy. The dust. I remember." And she ran out leaving Leroy to follow her a few paces behind that he did not recoup until she stopped by Snow, already gesticulating urgently.
"The wand, Your Majesty. Blue has a wand." When Snow seemed not to understand, she tacked on "The wand is the source of a fairy's magic, nothing is as potent."
Nova looked around, what seemed to be the whole of Storybrooke there, waiting, baited breaths on all of them. And they were coming closer trying to listen to the conversation.
"What about yours?" Someone asked from the throng around them.
"I never had one."
"Are you sure she had it, Nova?" Snow asked because Blue was still Blue and it bothered her, this suspicion. "No one ever saw Blue with the wand in Storybrooke. I thought they were all lost when the curse hit."
"Actually, Snow, Emma and I did" Ruby chipped in. "She kind of tried to fry me with it."
Snow did not reply such was the shock but Nova was already looking for a way out of the crowd surrounding them. "I'm going to get it."
"Do you know how to use it?" Granny asked.
"I never had one." Nova deflated.
"How hard can it be?" Henry asked the tears of before nothing but moisture on his face now, his expression eager, decided.
"There is only one way to find out."
"She won't just give it to you, Nova." Leroy Remarked. "And she's dangerous."
"So are you coming with me, Leroy, or are you staying here, baking cookies?" Oh, this was a new Nova, sassy. And Leroy liked it.
Ruby jumped on that. "Well, I am." Which was enough for Snow and Leroy to both say that they would go too.
"She is dangerous." Granny pointed out. "And I don't have my crossbow." She looked around herself and spotted her knitting needles. "Screw it." She said and pulled out the work started on the needles and yielded them like a sword. "Right, let's get this done. I'm going too. But more would be better. Safer."
Nova stepped on a boulder and addressed the crowd. "What do you say? Alone we're drops, but together we're an ocean."
Mrs. Cooke was the first one to stand. After that, people were just gathering coats and pulling sleeves up and getting ready to walk to the convent.
.
.
Emma had screamed herself hoarse during Henry's labor and birth but Regina, she just stopped and then nothing. Not a hint of anything. Just silence. It spoke volumes, Emma thought, about Regina's capacity to endure pain, about her being so used to it.
Emma was still resisting letting Whale cut her open. She was torn between giving in and sparing Regina this and capitulating, knowing that more likely than not, she would lose her. She knew she was down to the last seconds of indecision before she lost all window to make a choice because Regina was now kneeling on the floor, unable to go to her cot where she would be too far from everyone or to pace any further. Regina was losing the last of her strength and even squeezing Emma's hand through each contraction was barely a touch of the fingers.
"There's a diary. Under my pillow. I want you to read it. I want you to give it to her when she's old enough."
"You can do that yourself. Stop this."
"I'm sorry, Emma. When I made that comment about you cutting Henry's cord with a shiv… I'm sorry."
"You didn't mean it…"
"Oh, I did." Regina attempted a smile but she failed miserably. "I really did. All the things I did that brought me here, I always meant them. But I am sorry. For that comment and for all the other things I did and said to you. Graham… my father... For nearly everything else."
"Stop it, Regina. Stop saying goodbye. You're not going anywhere."
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.
Nova, Snow, Henry and Ruby were the first ones on the convent grounds. Nova worried for a second that Blue might have left them some nasty surprises. She was past the time she believed the best of Blue. But they made it to the building and past the door and nothing jumped at them or attacked them, no wholes opened on the ground. It was as if Blue had not even been expecting them.
They found Blue in the garden that overlooked the harbor, looking regally over the landscape.
"Blue." Nova called out to her.
"Please address me as Mother superior, Sister Astrid."
"No. And my name is Nova. My name is Nova."
"Well, then, in that case, you are no longer a nun in this convent. Therefore, what are you doing here?"
"I came for your wand. Please, Blue. Please. We need it now."
Blue turned then and was shocked to see Nova's entourage, the whole town coming to stop behind her, but she hid it well. "I don't have any wands, Miss Nova. Nothing came back with us in that respect."
"Please… Blue." Snow entreated. "Please let us help her."
"Help her? I am protecting you. That's all I've ever done, protect you and yours. And all you ever do and undermine that effort. But even if I wished to do so: the dust was taken from me. There is nothing I can do."
"Blue… A child's life is at risk. Surely you would not let any harm come to a child." Snow reasoned but she knew from Blue's stony expression that nothing would change.
She was wrong. Whatever illusions she might have about Blue died when she next opened her mouth.
"Oh, I know all about that cursed child. A child born of the Evil Queen. Over my dead body, Snow White. There's no telling what will come out of such aberration. Better to drown it now, like unwanted kittens. Both of them. Kill two birds with one stone."
Neither Snow nor Nova knew which one was the final straw because Blue delivered her speech with speed and intent, but both advanced on Blue and pinned her to the nearest tree. "The wand! Now, Blue. I know what you've done with the dust. I saw it. I saw it and you put a curse on me to forget it. But I remember. And Ruby knows too. You tried to kill her with it. You have your wand. Give it back."
"You will have to get it from me, you ridiculous waste of space. All I've ever done was the right thing. All I ever did was encourage goodness and protect from evil. And then what? There's an end for everything? Was I supposed to drop it all in your lap just because you were born of True Love, Nova? Even your name mocked me: New. New what? New RheulGhorm? You who couldn't stop tripping over your own feet? And what about me? Just fade into the night like a good little lamb? Never. Over my dead body. I did what I had to do. No more, no less. And you? You're all peasants." She whirled on the people filling into the private garden, her face livid with fury."Peasants! Every single one of you. Do you think you can have anything from me that I don't want to give you? We shall see about that. Let them both die."
The crowd was closing in, more and more bodies pushing into the garden, surrounding them, obliterating the space between Blue and the crowd. The garden felt claustrophobic. "The wand, Blue! Now!" Nova felt herself grow inches, towering over Blue. Her charge was dying and all this monster could do was wish it faster. She pushed her further onto the tree. "Now!"
As her only reply, Blue attempted to release herself from Nova and Snow's hold. "Never. And in just a few more minutes, this won't even be an issue any more. They'll both be dead. As they should."
The crowd pressed in, in, in as if animated by a single heartbeat. In their faces, all the slights of fate, all the times they had been left out in the rain looking in on something god. All the things they had lost. All the wishes that had never been granted.
Blue saw the menace, but she was beyond it. She was ReulG'horm. Sh felt the power surging in her veins, singing to her. "I decide. You cannot carry your fates in your hands. You would not know what to do with them. Peasants! You need me. You need me to point the way to you. You need me tell you what to do. You think you pray to God? Angels? Fairies? You are praying to me. To me." She pushed her hand towards Nova, palm open and a shot of magic fired from her hand, hitting Nova in the chest. The younger fairy slumped to the ground, her eyes closing softly and Blue recharged her magic, aiming at Snow and the crowd behind her. "Show your respect to me." Blue ground out.
But the crowd was on her, like ants on a corpse. The hands that grabbed were her too many and it startled her, confused her. That common heartbeat of the crowd became a war chant and it was a magic in itself. It siphoned Blue's magic, made it disperse in the clean air of the Atlantic.
Blue tried again, to call forth her power, to feel it gathering with each heartbeat. The crowd was one body now, so may hands, so many hearts and she couldn't start her magic anymore she could start a car with an empty fuel tank: there were spurts and hiccups but it just would not start.
Leroy and Mrs Cooke aided Nova up from the floor and gasped. "Oh my, look at you… look at your back." On her back, Nova's wings, were five magnificent lobes fluttering and then beating when Nova felt them.
And then Henry shouted in triumph coming through the crowd, pushing at backsides where necessary to reach Snow and Nova. In his hand was a wand. It looked a lot like twisted blue chunk of glass and it shone and reflected the light all at the same time.
"Give me that wand, you mongrel miscreant!" Blue shouted, her fingers, like claws, reaching beyond the hands around her to grab the wand.
"Shut up!" Snow shouted incensed.
"Look what else I found…" And Henry produced the enchanted collar Blue had placed around Regina's neck during the trial.
"Where?" Snow asked.
"You thieving bastard!" Blue rebelled against the arms that held and for a second it looked like she was going to break free from the crowd's body bind. "Give it to me! Give. It. To. Me."
Snow took the collar from Henry and slapped it around Blue's neck in a whirlwind move. "Okay. Keep it."
"She was talking, I went looking. Villains always talk too much in movies. I found it in her closet. It's always in the closet. Now let's go. My mom needs this."
.
.
Nova took the wand and her wings sustained in her the air, like a hummingbird. "I'll take it, Henry."
"Quick!" He asked her, but there was no need. Nova was airborne and disappeared leaving only a streak of color behind her.
Blue's skin burned in anger, frustration, hate. And her magic just wouldn't start. Not with that cursed collar on her neck.
.
.
It took her seconds to make to the mine and still it took too long. She touched down right in front of the cell and for a second she thought it was too late. Dr Whale was barking orders and Regina was lying on the floor, eyes closed. She looked dead already. Emma was holding her hand and smoothing her hair down, gently whispering to her. She waved the wand at the bars because it seemed like that's what she should do.
And nothing happened.
She tried again and again. Emma looked up at her and whatever hope had been there was quickly fading away with Regina. Work, please, please, please, Nova pleaded with whatever gave her the power to fly. She promised her wings in exchange for Regina's life but no one took her at her word. When Whale reached out the scalpel at the oddest angle, nervous and shaking, Nova squeezed the wand in her hands so tightly that the wand was crushed into dust, something fine and shiny like powdered sugar.
She lifted her hand to her mouth and blew it at the bars.
.
.
The bars opened. No, Nova thought much, much later. They had evaporated, vanished, melted. Whale nearly lost his balance but bounced back, scalpel safely tucked in his hand, shocked out of his wits.
But Emma, Emma reacted in a whirlwind. She pushed Whale and Doc out of the way and looked at her father for help. "We have to get her out of here." And David was already moving. Together they bundled Regina on the sheet they had put on the floor in an attempt at a sterile environment and hoisting the dead weight in his arms, David picked Regina up and bounded out of the mine.
"C'mon. Let's take her home. I'm not going to have a second kid born in jail. Let's go." Emma barked out the order, already diving into the back seat of David's pick up. Nova could see David's instinct, Whale's experience rearing their heads.
"Perhaps the hospital would be_"
"Home. I'm taking her home." It was a blur of bodies and of movement. David deposited Regina in the back seat and Doc already had his foot on the gas pedal, Whale on the bed of the pickup. Home it was. Nova approached the side window.
"Emma?"
Emma gave her brilliant smile. "Thank you, Nova. I will never_"
Nova looked at Regina and at her hands. Time slowed down to a crawl, everything around them happening too slow- or it was just that they were happening too fast. Nova blew on the residual dust. It fluttered in the air like tiny shooting stars. The dust settled on Regina's cheeks, on the sheet that covered her and it seemed to go deeper, into her skin, into the very fabric of her body.
Regina's eyes fluttered open, she blinked and then smiled. And then her face contorted again and Emma shouted "Move it Doc!" and everything caught up, the time lapse was over and the pickup was on its way, leaving a trail of dust behind.
Nova looked at her hand and smiled. There were so many things she could see in the reflections of the dust. And she liked every single one of them.
.
.
As the pickup made it to the town, there were people arriving from their expedition to the convent. The pickup was flying, breaking all the speed limits it could but that was not what made people stop on their way. It was the same urgency that made them walk and stand outside their Queen's modest apartment instead of going home and rest or find a place to drink some of the shock away.
.
.
It was happening too fast. Emma turned down her bed and David settled Regina on it. He struggled for words. Nothing seemed appropriate. So he moved to wait outside Emma's room. Snow made it through the door with Henry firmly in her hand. One look at David and she knew that all they could do was wait.
.
.
Regina didn't pray. There had never been any point for her. But from very, very far away, she'd heard Emma say Home and then something had happened because she resurfaced. She'd been falling into an abyss, unable to not drag the baby down with her and then there was light and air again. There was air and it smelled like the forest and outside and she hadn't felt that smell in eight months and when she opened her eyes, she was in Emma's arms, no bars in between them. Perhaps, she had thought, Whale had been able to save Hope and she was just saying goodbye, but then there was Nova too and just to prove a point, her body surged in pain. She knew she'd been given a second chance and it was colored in a strange dust. Magic.
She'd prayed then, that they make it home, that the car went faster and the labor slower so that her baby could be born in a safe place instead of a car moving at high speed. She breathed in and out trying to refuse the command of her body to push, push, push.
The car wasn't even stopped and David was already opening his and then the back door and picking her up. Vaguely, she was aware that there people were stopping in the street and wishing her luck and a safe delivery but it didn't register, not right then.
Whale and Doc ran ahead, Emma too. David moved slower up the steps for which she was grateful because each jolt to her body was agony and then he deposited her on Emma's bed. And she was sure of this because it smelled like Emma's skin and that was a comfort all of its own.
Emma climbed on the bed behind her and supported her back and her head and gave Regina her hands to hold. Regina took a deep breath, gathering her strength and calm. Everything was going to be okay.
"Right, Regina." Doc settled at the foot of the bed but made no further move, for which she was grateful. "Are you ready to have a baby? I know you are really tired but you've done so well until now…"
Regina only nodded her hands holding on to Emma's. Her body surged upwards in a wave of pain and then, with Emma holding her tightly, she pushed, letting her body open so that she could meet her daughter.
In between contractions, she buried her face on Emma's neck. It was perfect. Everything was perfect. This was what she had been waiting for all these months, maybe even all her life. She inhaled Emma's scent she knew so well, her sweat, her faint perfume, her shampoo and it restored her small courage during the few seconds of break her body was giving her. And then Doc whispered to her "Here she is, here she is." and suddenly, one final push, one final wave of pain and it was all over. A warm, wet body was placed on her chest, right against her skin.
There was no crying but somehow it didn't worry her. She had known Hope would be different. She didn't cry, not a sound. She just opened her eyes wide, wide and looked at the world around her, at Regina and Emma as if she recognized them.
"Oh my god, Regina, look at what we've done!" Emma's laughter was half sob and she buried her face in Regina's hair. Regina touched her face to Hope's head, feeling the baby's soft breathing and the warmth radiating from her. Perfect. Just perfect. Ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes. Her heart ached with the swell of emotion, too much for such a small heart, for such a small chest. For such a small world. Almost like when she'd first held Henry, except then she hadn't had a heart.
Doc handed Emma a pair of scissors from Whale's bag. "Would you like to cut the cord, Princess?"
Emma moved slightly to do just that. "Can I?"
Regina had a second of regret in being separated from her daughter, but she wasn't her mother. Hope was her own person, separate from her. She looked into Emma's eyes, fortified by the depth of color in them and mouthed I love you.
When Emma cut the cord, there was a thud next to her. Whale was flat on the floor.
"Ah, well, that's a tradition, isn't it?" Doc spared Whale a glance. "Men faint during the birth of a child."
"Yeah, regular slapstick comedy." Emma mopped the sweat from Regina's forehead. "I'm glad you're here, Doc."
Doc blushed all the way to his bald spot. "Oh, it's my pleasure, Princess. Two generations coming by my hand. That's quite something, isn't it?"
He moved to help Whale up. "Steady there, Dr, we're not quite done."
"Oh, God, after this, I better brush up on some medicine, get some studying done. And a drink drunk. Maybe two." Whale rubbed at his forehead where it hit the furniture. "The living are very different from the dead…"
In a flurry of activity, Doc and Dr Whale checked both Regina and the baby. Dr Whale was happy with the heart, the breathing, the reflexes of both mother and child. Doc cleaned up Regina and even replaced the linen on the bed, fluffed pillows and helped Regina lay down comfortably. Not that she wouldn't happily have stayed forever like that in Emma's arms.
Whale brought the baby back to Regina, already swaddled in a cloth. "Well done, Regina. And the baby is cute… you know, for something that came out in the middle of blood and pain… and near disaster. Shame about the head… looks a bit squashed…" His hands mimicked a cone shape.
Emma gave him a threatening look but there was no heat behind it, not seriously. "What do you think your head would look like if you'd just been through the tight spot she's been?"
"I guess you mean literally as much as figuratively. And thank you for successfully ruining my preferred hobby, by the way."
"You'll survive. Now, thank you, but scram."
When the door closed behind Whale, Doc scratched his head and the color rose in his cheeks. "Maybe you'd like to try feeding her a little, Regina."
Of course Regina knew that she was supposed to do that but that was when it fully sank in: she had a daughter.
Emma sat closer to her. "Help?"
Please, Regina thought, because she had never imagined that she'd be alive by this point. She hadn't planned ahead so far. Emma was good like that. She didn't have to formulate an answer and Emma was already anticipating. Once again, Emma sat behind her and gently pushed Regina's shirt to the side. Her arms went under Regina's and helped raise Hope up to Regina's breast. It was beautiful, Regina thought, her daughter's instinct. Her little mouth rooted around a little and then found the nipple and latched on, a perfect movement.
She had a moment of ah, of recognizance.
"Okay?" Emma asked. As her only reply, Regina simply hummed.
"You really need to get some sleep." Doc whispered trying not to intrude in the moment. "Babies, they do this thing, you know, they sleep the first night because they're exhausted. But after that all bets are off. So sleep now. Give yourself time to heal." And then he left, wishing them a good night.
Emma studied her daughter, completely besotted. "She's blond."
Regina smoothed the little tuft of hair. "All the way to her eyelashes."
Emma thought for a moment she shouldn't be so lucky. What had she ever done to deserve this. Or maybe it was not about deserving, but about needing. And both she and Regina needed a little bit of peace after the lives they'd had so far.
"You heard Doc. You should get some rest now."
"I think he meant both of us." But none of them made a move. Hope was peacefully feeding and that was all that mattered.
.
.
There was a soft knock on the door, a discreet peek then the door opened and Snow came in carrying a tray followed by Nova, Henry and David. It was Nova who spoke.
"We came to see the baby. Can we come in?"
Regina looked up from the baby and saw Snow first, discreetly putting the tray next to the bed. Snow made no move to pick up the baby, but Regina could no more relax her hands around the little bundle than she could kick Snow out. She looked at the woman and held her gaze steady. "Congratulations, Regina." Snow said in a soft tone and Regina simply nodded, not trusting her throat to work.
"Mom," Henry came and sat as close to her as he could. "Can I see her?"
"How did you know it was a girl, Henry?" Regina run her hand through Henry's head and pulled him to her, hugged him as fiercely as she could with the baby between them and no strength left. It had been so long she'd been able to do this to her son. So, so long.
"Oh, I dreamt about her. She's going to look exactly like Memma. But she has your eyes, Mom."
"That's quite a dream…" Henry nodded.
"Yeah," he sounded pleased as punch. "I even know her name."
"And what's her name, Henry?"
"Hope." Regina looked startled at her son, incapable of forming words. "I told you, I dream about her. Several times. And she told me her name. Hope. I think it is very appropriate. And pretty. I think it's a pretty name, Mom."
"Can I see her?" David stepped forward and everything about his body language told Emma and Regina that there was a quiet desperation in him, something ready to recoup years gone by. He moved over to Henry's side and the boy moved out of the way knowing he had plenty of time ahead with his baby sister. David sat gingerly, trying not to jolt the bed and leaned over Regina. With his finger, he pulled the white swaddling cloth down and was faced with a face that was remarkably like Emma's on those first few minutes after her birth when he'd had to pick her up and stuff her in a wardrobe to save her. Twenty-nine years had passed and still he could not forget a single detail of his daughter's face because it had been twenty-nine years but not really, only a few months. And he supposed that he could resent Regina for that, for what he had missed of Emma but he couldn't, not really because how many people got a second chance like this? He had heard too much of Regina, gotten to know her what little she let him while he visited her, while he sat through that trial and he had a feeling that he might like her, this Regina holding on to her daughter so fiercely in a way that he hadn't even if she had struggled against her own body for the last two days in way that he could ever only imagine.
He touched Hope's cheek. Indeed, Hope was a very appropriate name. He hoped that he could leave the past behind them and he hoped that he could see this baby grow up because you never know and life is a specialist in curveballs, but mostly, he hoped that he could be there and teach her at least some of those things he had hoped to teach Emma before it all disappeared like sand between his fingers. And Regina had been the one to make that possible. "She looks exactly like you, Emma. Down to the little mop of hair standing up."
"What?" Emma winked at him, "No comments about the shape of the head?"
"What about the shape of the head?"
"Whale said it looked squashed like a cone."
"He said what, now?" He placed a kiss on Hope's head and patted Regina's hand because god knew that this felt strange enough that he didn't know what to do and stood up. "I'm going to find Whale and discuss geometry with him."
When he moved out of the room, Regina finally saw Nova with her brand new wings, translucent, diaphanous like water and sunshine all in one. "Oh, you've got wings."
Nova turned on her heels almost skipping in happiness. "I do. Oh, I do, I do. Aren't they something?"
"They really are magnificent, dear. How did that happen?"
"Well, it seems that today is a day for miracles, wouldn't you agree?" And she came closer to Regina.
To Emma it was starting to feel like the nativity plays she had been shoved into nearly every Christmas even when she'd had no one to be looking out for her in the audience. All she wanted was some alone time with her family but this was important. This was good.
"Regina, there's someone who'd like to see you. He's standing right outside because suddenly he's feeling shy." When Regina agreed, Nova opened the door for Leroy who came in with his hat in his hand, looking more than mildly uncomfortable.
"Stop being a sissy, Leroy and come closer. Babies don't bite," Emma tossed at him, because if this had been her, she'd be uncomfortable too.
Leroy scratched his head because that was his way to get his bearings and then just went around the bed to look at Hope. "Oh, wow, look at that…David was all teary about how she looked so much like you, Emma. And she really does. Wow."
Emma felt her chest swell with pride, quite unexpectedly. "Just tell me what you want, Leroy. Are you applying for the position of fairy godmother? Make it like a family business?" Leroy blushed but didn't object. "Oh, hell, you are, aren't you?"
"Well, or godfather… And I wasn't really going to ask, but, yeah… I'd be up for it, you know… fairy godmother even… If it's okay with you." He looked at Regina expectantly.
"Well, Nova is already a fairy godmother. And it seems to me, based on recent events, that having magic is not really a requirement. It's more about the things you are willing to do… I never did say thank you, Leroy, for going with Emma back there…. For all that you risked…"
Leroy had half a mind to tuck his chin into his chest and say "Oh, shucks" but it seemed to him that when someone says thank you, you should acknowledge and say you're welcome. So he did. "You know that she talks in her sleep, right? What I mean is, you're welcome. Any time."
.
.
Emma could see how the congratulatory line was taking its toll on Regina. Hope was sleeping, her eyes closed and little rosebud mouth mimicking sucking movements. She stood and signaled for Leroy and Nova to get going which they gracefully did.
"Can I just go get something? I'll be right back, okay?"
Regina held on to her hand, a desperate plea not to be left alone, but Emma reassured her with a kiss. "Just the other room. I want to get my baby blanket. If you don't mind. I washed it. It's washed I promise. I just…"
"I know. Go get it and come back to me."
"I'm just a closet sentimental. Please don't tell anyone."
"Your secret is safe with me."
Emma pushed at the bed covers and created space for Hope, a little nest between Regina and the pillows at the edge of the bed. "Can we lay her down here? You look like you can barely hold her…"
Regina didn't want to give up the contact, but she could feel her eyes closing and her arms cramping, exhausted. Silently, she assented. Emma arranged everything around them and then walked out closing the door silently behind her.
.
.
When Emma exited the room, Snow softly made her way in. Regina was on her side curled up around Hope, eyes closed, sleeping. She padded into the room and stood over the baby, silently taking her in, tears sliding down her cheeks. It was the first she was seeing of the baby clearly. David was right. It was a carbon copy of Emma. Except for the eyes, apparently. David had told her that Hope had lovely brown eyes, just like Regina, big and round, looking at the world, taking everything in. She wasn't going to do anything. She just wanted to see her granddaughter, just that, but Regina was asleep and before she could stop herself, she picked the baby up into her arms and let the warmth of that little body soothe her. She let that presence fill her. She had missed this with Emma. She'd held her for a few seconds and then she'd had to let her go. And Emma would never forgive for that.
It was hard not to regret it. It was hard to regret it too. Regina was right: Emma had turned alright. She would have spared Emma all the pain and neglect but there was no changing the past. It didn't really matter if you could forget the weight of your own decisions and point your finger at others. The past was the past and you couldn't reach for the future if you were still holding on to it. There were just no arms long enough. And Hope was the future. She rocked Hoped a little because it was a body instinct of sorts and it comforted her more than it did the still sleeping Hope.
"Have you come to take her from her from me?" Snow gasped and turned to Regina. For a second, she had forgotten herself. "An eye for an eye. It's appropriate. You lost Emma because of me." Regina's voice was strangled and she was pinching the bed covers in her fingers, tears silently running down her face. "Please, Snow, don't take her from me. I never understood. Not really, not until now what that must have felt like to you. I'm sorry, Snow. I'm so sorry." And her arms reached for the baby like a person drowning. Snow could see it in that remarkable face that Regina actually thought she was going to take the baby way.
"No, Regina, not appropriate at all." She managed to spurt out. She walked to the bed and lowered herself to give Regina the baby. She noticed then how much Regina was struggling, how she could barely keep her arms up. She raised her on pillows and adjusted the baby safely in Regina's arms. She busied herself with propping pillows under Regina's arms to assist her with holding Hope on her own while she considered and weighed her words. Her hands remained on Regina's arm and Hope's head, keeping Regina's hold steady.
"I have much to ask you to forgive me for, Regina. So much."
"I can't go back to the beginning, Snow."
"I know. I can't either. But there things that I must say. And then maybe we can start a new period."
"New?"
"Yes. I can't be that child again and you can't be that girl because there is too much in between. But maybe we can restart with Hope, a mother and a grandmother that love her and work our way from there. Please…"
When Regina did not object, Snow kissed Hope's head in Regina's arms. On a second thought, she kissed Regina's forehead too.
There was moment of understanding that passed between them, a moment where they could both feel the shred of affection that none of them had ever managed to bury deep enough, not through all the things they did to each other. A visible wave of energy and magic spread out in ripples from them, like a stone hitting the water of a placid lake. It spread and spread through the house, through the street and the town and it affected people in its path without them even knowing of it but something like a feeling of contentment and wellbeing.
Hope opened her eyes still puffy from the long labor, deep brown like Regina's in a face that is all Emma. Snow smoothed down Hope's hair, knowing something was different but unsure as to what it was.
"Sleep now. You are safe here. You and Hope are both safe here."
To Regina, it felt like an at long last. She was safe. She felt safe. She touched Snow's hand and closed her eyes for a second, too tired to analyze, too tired to question the feeling.
.
.
Emma stood at the open door, watching with Henry, her baby blanket in her arms. She'd seen it, and felt it, that wave of magic spreading out from Snow, Regina and Hope and knew it exactly for what it was: love. And not even Emma Swan was too much a cynic to brush it off.
She was just too tired to deal with it, with the repercussions right there and then. Not when Regina had open her eyes and was looking at her like it was Christmas morning. She moved into the room and let Snow pass without further comment.
"I have this. I'd like her to have it. The only other thing that's mine is the car but she's too little for that still."
Regina smiled, her arms so tired she could barely hold them up. She took one of the corners of the blanket, rubbed it in her fingers. "I told her about this blanket."
"You did?"
Regina nodded. "Yes." She pulled it softly and draped it over Hope making Emma ridiculously pleased with such a tiny gesture.
Henry sat on Regina's side to look at his sister. "She's pretty awesome, isn't she?"
"Yes, Henry, pretty awesome." Regina replied enjoying the feel of him next to her.
"Can I stay here with you for a little bit, Mom?"
It felt like a superhuman effort to move. She had the baby in her arms and her body did not quite feel like her own, abused and sore, but she turned to Henry as much as she could because she was really, really happy that he wanted to stay.
"I'm so happy you want to, Henry."
There was a little shuffling of bodies and Henry took off his shoes and slid under the covers on one side and Emma did the same on the other.
Regina took a deep breath because she'd never thought that life would ever give her this and she wished she didn't have to sleep, because she was already missing out on things, but sleep overtook her.
Yes, she was safe here. Her family was safe here.
.
.
From the door, Snow studied them, Regina in the middle, looking miserably tired and bedraggled, but absolutely happy, holding her granddaughter; her grandson and daughter flanking her.
All considerations apart- and it had cost her sleep over the last nine months on nightly basis, if anything, anything at all had been out of place in their history, if she hadn't been on a spooked horse, if Regina hadn't saved her, if she hadn't opened her spoiled little mouth, if her father hadn't been less of the good man she thought he was, if she hadn't made all the decisions she had, they wouldn't have them all here, under her roof, under her protection.
She wondered if she would ever be allowed into that little family unit. But for the time being, she had a fairy, she now believed, who had helped rob her of being with Emma during her childhood, to fry, truly, well and deeply.