Title: broke into a thousand pieces.
Author: kyrilu/Endless-chan
Type: Fanfiction
Fandom: The Avengers (2012).
Rating: T/PG-13.
Warnings/Triggers: Underage drinking, parental neglect - Tony's father problems, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, adoption (Loki has a lot of problems coping with this issue.)
Pairings/Characters: Loki/Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Steve Rogers, Sif/Thor, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson/Natasha Romanov, Ensemble.
Loki lies on his bed, staring dully at the ceiling above him. The plaster is cracking, the white chipped slightly, and he wonders whether he should bother Father about whether it should be repaired or not. He is still dressed in his costume, red-striped pajamas settling softly against his arms, and it feels oddly comfortable.
There's a knock on the door. Thor.
"Loki!" Thor booms, after his hands rattle the door knob. It's locked. "Can I come in?"
"You forgot to knock," Loki throws back at the door, hands balling around the bed sheets. Thor, completely missing the point, raps his knuckles against wood, and waits expectantly.
"Just...fine," Loki says, sighing; he knows that Thor won't go away. He reluctantly unlocks the door, and Thor steps in, a tentative smile on his face.
"Are you okay, Loki?" Thor says softly.
"It's been two weeks, Thor."
"You've been avoiding me," says Thor, and he's such an open book, he looks hurt, of all fucking things.
Loki clenches his fists. This is the closest Thor's gotten to an apology, but he doesn't want an apology. Logically, Loki's the one who owes his brother one, but-
He doesn't really know.
"Go away," he says instead, instead of the million other things he could probably rattle off. "I just had rehearsal, all right? I'm tired. Good night."
Thor clears his throat, and starts to retreat back to the hallway. "Okay. Sure. Good night. Pepper said that you're a good actor, did you know?"
Loki inclines his head. "Yeah," he says, "she says that." And yeah, Pepper Potts does, but she's a childhood friend of Anthony Stark, and so he's probably second on her list of the school cast actors, after Stark. Anthony Stark, probably second, childhood friend, his mind reels off, and he crosses his arms like he's hugging himself.
"I'm doing fine," Loki says finally, but Thor's already out of the room. He shuts the door, and returns to his bed, wrapping the blankets tightly around his body.
There's an iPod on his bedside table; Loki slips the white buds into his ears, and loses himself to the pounding of music. His eyes are still open halfway through the night, staring blankly at the cracks in the ceiling.
"Dad, the school play's this weekend," Tony says into his cell phone, one of his hands drumming on the poster. "From six to eight, on Saturday."
There's a sigh on the other end of the line. "Tony, you know that your mother and I have to go to a charity event that night. Isn't there another showing?"
"The Saturday after that," Tony says. "But you're going to be working that day, with the scientists from MIT."
Okay. So maybe he'd memorized his father's schedule, so screw him. But he'd like to know what times he'd get to see his own fucking father, whether it'd be to drag him out to watch one of Tony's movies or I don't know, one of my own fucking plays.
"Next time, then, kiddo," Howard Stark says. "All right? I went to the opening premiere of that television show of yours, remember? So give me a rain check."
"Rain check duly noted," Tony says dryly, scratching at the table with an imaginary pen.
"Smart mouth," Howard says, a laugh in his voice, and he draws the conversation into a close. "See you - tomorrow morning, is it?"
"Evening," Tony says. "You're going to be visiting Osborne Labs for most of the day, Dad."
"You should be a secretary, kid."
"Nah, I got Pepper for that, thanks."
"Tomorrow evening it is," says Howard. "Good night, Ton. Make sure you learn your lines."
Tony's mouth is dry when he says, "Good night, Dad" and Howard hangs up - he's always the first to press the button after every call.
There's a stash of beer behind one of the tool boxes in Howard Stark's lab at home, and it'll be waiting for him tomorrow evening. Tony doesn't know why his father bothers to pretend every single time, but hell, he goes along with it. Why not?
"Motherfucker," he says under his breath. He drops his cell phone, and it skitters across the dining room floor, spinning.
Thor has a baseball game the next day, and Loki goes to watch him. It isn't out of support or anything, but it's an excuse for him to tell his parents, if they ever noticed, that he's skipped his last period. It's spring, so it's raining, and Loki shivers through his green jacket, wiping raindrops on his black jeans.
"I think they're going to win today," a voice says behind him, and he recognizes Sif, an uncertain smile quirked on her mouth. "They've been getting better."
"I think so, too," Loki says, as his brother streaks across the muddy field, making his way to the next base.
"They weren't doing so good, ever since they lost Clint to the archery club," Sif says conversationally. "But the team's picking up the pace. The coach bumped up one of the JV kids to the team, and he's not bad at all."
"Hogun?" Loki asks, nodding his head towards the current batter.
"Yeah. Quiet guy. But he's-"
"Just talk," Loki says, tiredly. Sif's been his longest friend since elementary and middle school, and she easily went back to his side once their tenth grade year started here. He hadn't been to Avengers High for freshman year; he'd actually convinced his parents that he'd been fine if Mother just homeschooled him. But Father changed his mind, so here he is now.
Sif sighs. "Loki, I'm dating your brother, you know."
"I expected that you might," Loki acknowledges.
"But we've got to clear some things up, okay? You- you kissed me, two weeks ago, and you're not bothering to talk to me about it." Sif presses on, her eyes blazing dark and angry.
Loki stiffens. "Don't, Sif."
"I know you've got brother issues, Loki. That's why we're friends, remember? Thor and Volstagg and Fandral and Freyr; they've grouped together since elementary school, no younger kids or girls allowed. And you're jealous of Thor, and ever since you've finally come to the same school with him again, you've been afraid of-"
"Don't over analyze this," Loki says sharply, and he's growling, because how dare she. "How about you, Sif? The pathetic girl who has a crush on the big, strong Thor Odinson, hanging in the sidelines trying to get his attention. You've been running to his brother, all this time-"
"And you found out that he actually liked me back," Sif says. "That's why. I know you're gay, Loki. He doesn't, and you were trying to hurt him."
Loki shakes his head. "You're-it's something else, Sif. It's not about this, you're wrong."
"So maybe you had another argument. But it is about this, I think, when it all comes down to it."
"Not another argument," Loki says, flattening his palms against his jeans pockets, the rain water pooling into denim. "More than that."
Sif just smiles sadly, and she walks back to the bleachers. Loki wonders if they're still friends.
Across the field, Thor yells in jubilation - the Avengers Team has won the game, and he's cheering up towards the grey clouds. His team surrounds him, exchanging enthusiastic high-fives.
Loki turns his head up to the rain.