Year 4
(Seamus Finnigan)
That year, you get to go to the Quidditch World Cup. You've got to say, it's the most fun and mind-blowing time you've ever had in your short life. You've got it all set in your head that you're going to be a professional player for the Kenmare Kestrels.
Then, everything goes wrong, and suddenly tents are being set on fire and people are yelling outside. Your mam gets you and Dean to run and hide in the forest as she follows closely behind.
You're filled with panic and confusion, you've never been in a situation like this and all around people are screaming and crying and calling names. You trip, falling hard on your knees as your mam and Dean run ahead of you. You move to get up, and come face to face with a man in a silver mask and a black hooded face, laughing cruelly. A shiver rolls up your spine and suddenly he grabs your arm roughly.
You almost scream, but then he just shoves you back down onto the ground and continues his path, walking through the burning campsite with his wand raised. Off in the distance, you see the same man point his wand at a younger boy, making him collapse. You run after Dean and your mam and catch up, but you don't tell anyone what happened.
Dean makes you share a compartment with Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil on the train ride in. You know he fancies Parvati, so you indulge him because he's your best mate and he'd do the same for you.
They sit on one side, Parvati babbling on about some vacation her and her family took that summer, and Dean's nodding at her. You shake your head, he sounds like a ponce, ooohing and aaaahing at the shawl Parvati received.
So you sit next to Lavender. You can't help but notice she grew a little taller during the summer, so she's your height now (or more accurately, a half-inch taller). You slump next to her, nose buried in the new book your mam bought you, Quidditch Through The Ages. Lavender is reading some girly magazine, so the two of you don't interact. You're grateful for it, because even though the two of you may have been somewhere around acquaintances last year, you still had no idea what you would talk to her about.
Periodically she stops and shows Parvati something from the magazine.
"But why do you always just paint them red?" Parvati asks exasperatedly, inspecting Lavender's outstretched hand.
Lavender shrugged. "Red nailpolish makes me feel pretty."
The announcement of the Triwizard Tournament comes, as do the students from Beauxbatons and from Durmstrang. The girls from Beauxbatons are the most retardedly gorgeous you've ever seen, with long blond hair and piercing blue eyes and all the blokes agree that they're something else. However, you hear the girls from Hogwarts talking about them, saying things like "she's so rude!" and "she's not all that pretty."
You fancy yourself a hero, so you're all ready to toss your name into that Goblet of Fire as soon as Dumbledore starts puttering on about eternal glory.
But then comes the age restriction, so you just prepare yourself to watch from the sidelines as best you can.
Then Harry Potter comes out of the Goblet, and in a way you aren't surprised. Everyone seems really confused and upset, but you knew he's somehow find a way to get his name in there.
Ron agrees.
During the first task, the dragon guarding the golden egg, you watch with bated breath as Cedric Diggory snags the egg from right under the dragon's nose. Next comes that beautiful Fleur Delacour, who gracefully charms the dragon to sleep before taking her egg. Then Viktor Krum, one who you saw in the World Cup, blinds the dragon and grabs the egg.
And then comes Harry Potter and for the smallest moment feel a little bad for him, just because he's drawn what Ron says is by far the meanest and most ferocious dragon in the world, the Hungarian Horntail.
It's exciting and death-defying, and in the end Harry gets the egg.
You celebrate him in the common room later that night, before him and Ron settle their differences, and Ron goes back to hanging out with Harry all the time. You've gotten closer to him since he'd spent all that time with you, and you realized he really is a good bloke.
But now you're back to watching from the sidelines with Dean. Across the common room you see Lavender Brown, who you haven't spoke to since the train ride in. And you know, she looks really pretty right then, with her hair back in that pink bow and her cheeks rosy and even when she giggles (though you prefer it when she laughs, genuinely laughs, throwing her head back and letting it out in short loud laughs, though you've only seen her do it twice).
And across the room she looks at you, cocks her head, and smiles. And something in your stomach flops and you smile back at her, and you realize you're in trouble.
At the second task, Harry's best friends Ron and Hermione are nowhere to be found, so you and Dean valiantly stand behind him with Neville on the dock. He looks scared as hell, and so you pat his shoulder and he looks at you shakily and he starts muttering things to Neville.
When he finally jumps into the lake (or, rather, is pushed), Neville starts freaking out, saying that he's killed Harry Potter, and then suddenly out of nowhere, Harry bursts out of the lake with a spin, and dives back in. And you laugh victoriously, because although you might be a bit jealous of him, he's still a friend.
You spot Lavender on one of the higher balconies of the observation decks, and she smiles and waves down at you. You waves back, grinning, and Dean punches you on the shoulder, before waving at Parvati.
You start talking to Lavender now. Just small-talk conversations, about homework or the tasks, or even the strange things the boys from Durmstrang eat.
You find that sometimes she's giggly and annoying, but those times she isn't, she's actually an alright person. She's funny, and shares your contempt about essays. Not to mention she has the best body of all the girls in your class, probably even better than some of the French Beauxbatons girls, and you can't help noticing her legs or her chest sometimes.
And miraculously, you sometimes go out of your way to talk to her. Dean teases you that you fancy her.
You start to think that you just might.
And then McGonagall announces the Yule Ball, and all the girls start going barmy.
You have to take dance lessons. The only upside is seeing Ron have to dance with McGonagall, which was no doubt the most hilarious thing you'd seen all year.
Then McGonagall orders the boys and girls to line up, and the female side of the room jumps up into line in the blink of an eye. You, however, stay put in your seat.
You would have to be bloody insane to think that you'd dance. Sure, at home, you'd dance with Fina when your father put on the Muggle radio and she'd beg you to be her partner. But never, never, never will you jump up to dance a ponce-y waltz in front of a bunch people. The other boys have around the same ideas as you, and only Neville steps up.
Lavender looks rather disappointed, and for a second you think you should get up and dance with her, just so she'll smile, but you shake it out of your head. You're still rather gangly and awkward for fourteen, and the last thing you want to do is make an arse of yourself without your consent (and though you are a bit of class clown, this is different).
In the end, Professor McGonagall just ends up red-faced and angry, and the girls are run out of the room whispering frantically.
"This is going to be a bloody nightmare." Dean mutters. You nod.
It's like a frantic race to get a date. Everywhere girls are traveling in packs, pointing at different blokes and whispering. It's all very high pressure and it makes it impossible to focus on anything else but what feels like impending doom.
"Well, hurry up and ask her!" Dean says as the two of you walk to the common room after the day's classes.
"You're one to talk, you're still putting off asking Parvati."
"Shut up." He says, shoving you into a wall.
"Oi!" You yelp.
Out of nowhere, Lavender appears, holding her books tightly and walking looking up at the ceiling. Her robes are nowhere to be found, so she's just wearing what looks like a shortened school skirt and dress shirt, no tie. You feel a lump rise in your throat, and prepare to run the other way, but Dean catches your arm.
"Hi Lavender." Dean says loudly, and you elbow him in the ribs.
"Oh, hey Dean." She says, smiling broadly. "Seamus."
"Hi." You say. You sound like a bloody frog.
"I was just up with Professor Trelawney, she says the stars are about to become aligned. She says something big is coming." She says thoughtfully.
You fight not to roll your eyes. Her and Parvati both have been obsessed with Divination ever since their first class in last year. It's just a load of rubbish, but she's convinced.
"Oh." You say.
"Well." Dean says loudly, looking at you pointedly. "I've got to go, I'm... I've got to meet Flitwick about something."
He punches your shoulder, and takes off down the hall. You could kill him.
"Where're you going?" You ask, cringing. You don't know what possessed you to ask that, and you're sure now you sound like a creep.
But she only answers "Common room."
"Aye, I'll walk you then?" You ask, proud of yourself for asking that. She nods, a smile playing at her lips, and starts walking with you up the corridor.
"So what about Trelawney?" You say, and she launches into a whole monologue about Jupiter and Mars coming to alignment as you give yourself a quick pep talk.
Just ask her. The worst she can do is say no, right?
No, she could laugh in your face, grab the nearest bloke and plant a giant wet one on him, and then tell everyone about how she turned down Seamus Finnigan and what a giant tosser you were.
She was looking at you expectantly, so you realized she was finished and you had to say something.
"Lavender, would you... er, d'ya want ta go ta the ball with me?" You ask. "...as friends?"
And suddenly everything froze. It's as if you've hexed yourself, and are still riding the extreme shockwaves. You said it automatically, you got scared, you chickened out. The thought of the extreme pressure on being able to stammer out those words, combined with the advice Fred and George had joking told him and Dean about how it was less pressure if you just went as friends was what made you do it.
In your mind you can practically see Dean slapping his forehead. 'You're a complete duffer, you know that?' He'll say, you just know it.
She smiles at you, and you know there's no way to take it back now. "Uh, yeah. That sounds great Seamus." She says.
She emits a little cough, and with one last smile, she takes off down the hallway.
You have to wear dress robes, and you can't help feeling stiff. Even with your Hogwarts uniform you don't wear it this nicely. Though you suppose you're a lot luckier than Ron, he's drowning in ruffles. Dean finally gets a tie on, and you pull him down into the common room.
You feel a little bad, because you know Dean didn't ask Parvati in time and now he has to go with Patty, but you can't help the grin on your face. Even though it's under the pretense of friends, you're still incredibly nervous about tonight.
You have to wait there for a bit before the girls show up, and you suspect Lavender does it on purpose just because she's dramatic like that.
But when you finally see her, your breath catches in your throat.
She's got on this pale pink strapless dress, dark blond hair combed all to one side, tumbling down in waves, possibly the only time you've seen her without a bow in her hair. The dress falls to just above her knees, making her legs look miles long, and gold strappy shoes.
A feral smiles spreads across her face and she looks at you up and down, saying "Wow, you clean up nice, Finnigan." Before taking your arm and leading you out of the common room.
The dance is a little stressful, but after you see how uncomfortable Harry looked dancing with Parvati, you start to be thankful you didn't have to dance first.
Lavender does dance, though. She wants to dance to all the songs, and you do too because he want to stay with her. You take a moment away to get something to drink, her still laughing amicably from your dancing attempts.
She leans back. "Well Finnigan, thanks. I'm having a great time."
You grin because the night is going well, and Lavender is fun and you haven't embarrassed yourself too much.
A slow song starts playing, and immediately neither of you two look at each other. You want to ask her to dance, you should ask her, she is here with you, after all. You turn to her, poised to ask, before a tall, dark boy wearing the Durmstrang uniform stands in front of her.
"Hello, I am Anton." He says in a deep voice. Your jaw clenches and you're about to just ask her anyway, but she responds.
"Hi! I'm Lavender Brown." She says, extending a hand. Instead of shaking it, you watch as he leans down and kisses it.
"May I have this dance?" He asks, shooting a quick glance at you.
Lavender asks, "You alright, Finnigan?"
"Yeah, sure, go on Lav." You say, and you hope it didn't sound pathetic.
She smiles at you once more and then waltzes onto the dance floor in the arms of "Anton". You almost hear him ask, "Is he your boyfriend?" so you strain to hear what Lavender says.
To your utter dismay, she says, "No, we just came together as friends."
You tense angrily, because you're just at this ball as friends. If you'd actually been a man and not chickened out, then you wouldn't have this problem of strange guys coming up and asking Lavender to dance. Or maybe you would, but she'd say no, and you'd tell that oaf that you were here on a date and that he should bugger off, and it wasn't your fault that you had gotten the prettiest girl in the room to be on your arm all night.
You could bang your head against the table. They move gracefully, you can't help watching them. Not at all like the two left feet that you've got. Lavender does dance well, you realize. Like a ballerina, barely touching the ground, almost as if she was floating right before you. Light clung to her hair and her cheeks were rosy and she just looked so damn good.
You sigh loudly, and lean back in your chair, letting your legs sprawl out. Across the room, you can see Harry, Ron, Parvati, and her sister Padma all sitting and staring at their hands in boredom. You don't know where Dean is.
She eventually comes back, but not after he kisses her hand one last time.
The ball ends, and it seems that everyone except Neville is rather perturbed by the entire evening. You walk with Lavender back to the common room.
There's a moment when you think you should kiss her, but you don't because you're only her friend and she probably doesn't want you to. And you're nervous and sweaty and insecure against Anton and his hulking height and dancing ability.
So you just tell her goodbye and that you had a good time, and go up to your dorm. Inside, Ron and Harry are already asleep, and Dean is taking off his tie. His look tells you not to ask about tonight, and you feel the same.
You should have just kissed her.
The third task happens, and it scares you shitless.
Cedric Diggory died. And Dumbledore says it has to do with You-Know-Who, a name you know your entire family is afraid of. You've heard stories about the dark days, before Harry Potter and when You-Know-Who was still alive.
Dumbledore makes a speech at the funeral and talks about how You-Know-Who killed Diggory, and how he had risen again, and it was important that we all stay united.
The train ride home is somber. Everyone is quiet, thinking over what happened. You and Lavender talk a little, about next year and how there'll be the OWLs and how much homework they'll be assigned.
But she seems afraid and sad too, no matter how much she giggles.
(Lavender Brown)
Summer is rather dull this year. You spend most of it writing letters to Parvati and catching up on trends from Madam Malkin's new robes monthly and Witch Weekly. You go on a few dates here and there, and your mother smiles vacantly as you leave. Your father isn't home most of the time, and your mother is already in bed when it's time for dinner.
You spend a lot of it alone.
When September first rolls around, you couldn't be happier. You missed Hogwarts, particularly Professor Trelawney and her promise for your free reign over her books during non-class periods.
Parvati and you grab the first empty compartment you see, and stow your trunks with great difficulty.
A few minutes into the ride, Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan show up outside your compartment and ask if they can sit. Dean looks hopeful. Seamus looks bored.
Parvati looks at you with widened eyes, begging for permission. Over the summer, she confided in you that she did begin to fancy Dean Thomas at the beginning of last year and still does. You decide to humor your friend and you give her a little nod.
Dean sits next to Parvati, and the two of them immediately start talking. You're happy for her, Parvati hasn't gone on any dates, and you can see the way she looks at you when you flounce out to yet another Hogsmeade meeting.
Seamus flops himself down next to you, slumping down into the seat. You roll your eyes at his lack of posture and extract the latest edition of Dorea, a magazine for mature women that you snagged from your mother's magazine pile.
Yes, you admit that at the end of last year you did believe that Seamus Finnigan was rather fetching in a rugged sort of way, and that he was capable of civil interaction, but you were young and naive then. This year you are armed with an acute knowledge of all things dating and male, and Seamus is in no way compatible with you (you've taken a test). So you don't make an effort to speak to him.
It does get rather boring though, because you finished the magazine with an hour still left on the train ride, so you resort to asking Parvati's advice.
"But why do you always just paint them red?" Parvati asks exasperatedly, inspecting your outstretched hand.
You shrug. "Red nailpolish makes me feel pretty." You say cavalierly, remembering the first time your mother painted your nails the muggle way. They were red; to match hers.
The Hogwarts Express finally stops at the correct stop, you jump out of the train, tugging on Parvati's arm.
When Dumbledore announces that a contest called the Triwizard Tournament was being held at Hogwarts, you were not overly excited. That is, until the dashing, dark, mysterious Durmstrang students and the skinny-mini-blondy-Veelas from Beauxbatons showed up.
You inspect the boys from Durmstrang closely. They'd look like what Witch Weekly characterizes as "bad-boys". You do think some of them are rather attractive, but mostly they just look big and muscly and rather too mature. They're a bit scary.
Then there're the girls from Beauxbatons. All the boys around you at the table unabashedly stare at them as they run past, and your green monster is shaken awake. So what if they've got long legs? You've got them too. And blond hair (well, dark blond, maybe light brown in the winter, but all the same). And as for their figure... well, wasn't it you all the boys were talking about last year?
When Harry Potter's name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, you're not all that excited. I mean, it's a miracle, and it's supposed to be Triwizard, not... four wizards. You're over talking about it after the first night, but apparently no one else is.
The first task is rather exciting, though. You think it's dangerous, that they shouldn't be allowing any of the champions to get so close to such a terrifying deathly creature.
You cheer on Harry with the rest of your house. You rather hope he doesn't die, as it would put a damper on the rest of the year most horribly. He grabs the egg just in time, and the crowd around you cheers their lungs out.
You celebrate in the common room. You and Parvati hug towards the back of the group after the unfortunate deafening noise that came when Harry opened the egg. You don't even know what that's about.
"Seamus Finnigan's looking at you." Parvati murmurs in your ear.
You turn slowly and see him staring straight through the crowds, dead at you. And a chill runs down your spine.
A really... good... chill.
But you play dumb and smile and tilt your head slightly, as if asking him if he needs anything.
His mouth curves into a lopsided grin, that Irish grin, and you want to memorize that grin and keep it locked away forever, opening it when you need a burst of light. It takes over his face in this beautifully boyish way that just makes you smile too, a genuine smile.
At the second task, you and Parvati take seats in the higher balcony of the observation deck, squeezing in next to Patty and Fey. You tuck your Gryffindor scarf closer to your neck and rub your hands together. The wind up here is quite a bit colder.
You lean down to see the champions, particularly Harry.
And there Seamus is, standing behind him, hugging the pole and saying something to Dean. You know you heard Harry asking for Hermione or Ron, but they're nowhere to be found.
The entire beginning of the task is a mite boring, until the canon sounds and the champions dive in (or, in Harry's case, falls in). Your eyes turn back to the three Gryffindor boys still on the starting platform. Neville is close to ripping his hair out, and if you squint, you can see his worried face.
Then, all of a sudden, Harry jumps out of the water with a shout, and plunges back in. Seamus lets out a loud whoop of victory, high-fiving Dean.
His eyes suddenly flick up to yours, and a grin blooms. You wave down at him, almost without thinking. He waves back, to your relief. Parvati shoots you a look before waving down to Dean.
You let out a breath but then sharply inhale. Could you actually like Seamus? No, it couldn't be. He ranked a 34% on the Good Boyfriend test, and surely you can't find his messy, unorganized appearance appealing.
Seamus talks to you a lot more now. Trivial things, mostly, but everything has got to start somewhere.
You find that sometimes he's loud and rude and uncouth, but despite that, he seems like a good bloke. He always puts a smile on your face, and doesn't give you that look of superiority some Ravenclaw boys give you when you complain about homework. He's rather fit too, in a sort of rugged, reckless way. That grin gets you every time, and his strange habit of tying his tie in a knot doesn't really bother you anymore.
And miraculously, he seems to go out of his way to talk to you. You always liked getting wooed, and you're finding yourself looking forward to times in the day when he's catch up with you and start up a conversation.
You realize you fancy him.
When McGonagall announces that there's going to be a dance called the Yule Ball, you immediately know who you want to go with.
To your dismay, he's shaking his head and muttering something to Dean, looking skeptically. And when the boys and girls line up to practice waltzing, he doesn't even move an inch.
You roll your eyes at all the boys, they're being completely immature. Though the tension through the room is tangible, and you desperately wish this would end so you could run upstairs with Parvati, pull your curtains closed, and analyze this entire situation.
So when it does finally end, you grab Parvati's wrist and pull her upstairs.
"Lavender, it's a dance. An actual party! With dates!"
The two of you collapse, giggling, on Parvati's bed.
"I know, I know!" You turn over and look at her seriously. "So, who do you want to ask you?"
Parvati sighs. "Dean Thomas. But I know it'll never happen."
I punch her arm. "Parvati, that's such a lie! The boy has obviously got the hots for you! Now you've just got to hope he can pluck up the courage to actually ask!"
"What about you?"
You smile. "I want Seamus Finnigan to ask me."
Parvati scoffs. "Lavender. He's an ass. Why do you even fancy him?"
Your shoulders slump in disappointment. You know Parvati's not a big fan of Seamus, and it really bothers you. I mean, it's your best friend for Merlin's sake!
"I just do, ok?" You say defensively, pulling a magazine from the top of her night table. "Logic doesn't play a part. It's unstoppable, it's animal attraction."
"Really, you think so?"
"'Course. I can't stop this, I just do."
Parvati takes your hair in her hands and begins to braid the ends, still giggling a little. "This is so exciting, we've got to get new dresses, and everything! Maybe we could find some place in Hogsmeade that does nails?"
You smile largely, already envisioning yourself and Seamus in complimenting dress robes with the same color palette and everything.
The boys all seem extra jumpy. Everyone is being asked to the Yule Ball in every class, new people every day. Boys stare more than usual at you and Parvati, Fey, and Patty, but they also stare at all the other girls. It's as if they're suddenly afraid to make contact.
You're not nervous, though. Whenever boys are nervous when they're talking to you, you just take control of the conversation and manipulate it so that they can ask whatever they need, whether it be a weekend to Hogsmeade, or in this case... a date.
And when Professor Trelawney predicts the star's alignment meaning something big is coming, you just know Seamus is going to ask you. You wander through the hall to get back to the dorms, but you can't stop staring at the ceiling. You wish you could just see the stars through the walls.
"Hi Lavender." Dean Thomas says loudly, making you jump a bit. Seamus and Dean stand in front of you, Seamus looking a little green in the face. You get excited, maybe this is your big thing.
"Oh, hey Dean." You say, smiling broadly. "Seamus."
"Hi." He says, his voice sounding a little rough. You sort of like it when it sounds like that, it sounds manly.
"I was just up with Professor Trelawney, she says the stars are about to become aligned. She says something big is coming." You say, striking up the conversation.
"Oh." Seamus says. You can tell he is skeptical, but he always has been about divination. You think he'll come around to it though, sometime.
"Well." Dean says loudly, looking at Seamus pointedly. "I've got to go, I'm... I've got to meet Flitwick about something."
He punches his shoulder, and takes off down the hall.
Ask me, you think at him. Please just ask me.
"Where're you going?" He suddenly asks.
You take a deep breath, try to remember if you flossed this morning after a regular toothbrushing. You really hope you did.
"Common room." You say casually.
"Aye, I'll walk you then?" He asks, sounding more confident. You nod, trying to keep your grin from spreading all the way across your face.
Ask me.
"So what about Trelawney?" He asks.
You explain to him about the current positioning of Jupiter and Mars, but once they become directly across from each other, something big will happen. It's all about the planets, in the exact moment their paths are aligned, the "big thing" Professor Trelawney predicted will occur.
He doesn't say anything when you finish, looking hazily at the ground. But then he looks up, wringing his hands nervously.
Here it is, you think. He's going to ask you. This is it!
"Lavender, would you... er, d'ya want ta go ta the ball with me?" He stammers out, and you are bursting with excitement, so excited to consent and then -
"...as friends?"
It felt like your heart stopped.
Did he really just say what you thought he did?
You suddenly feel like you might cry, cry because he doesn't want to go with you (well he does, but not really) and he doesn't fancy you at all and dammit how is that possible?! You'd already gotten offers from three other boys, but turned them down because you knew he was going to ask you!
This was terrible.
As friends.
This was horrible.
As friends.
For the first time ever when interacting with a guy, you loose control. You quickly pull yourself together, and you force yourself to smile. Because what are you supposed to say?
"Uh, yeah. That sounds great Seamus." You say, forcing the shakiness out of your voice.
You smile at him one more time and then flee the scene.
You cry to Parvati, and she comforts you. She does your hair in a fancy braid, just letting you cry and snot and vent.
You can't believe it. He really didn't fancy you.
You're baffled by this. Everyone fancies you.
Parvati is upset too. She told you about how she waited for Dean, and how he didn't fancy her either, she knew, and then she got asked by Harry Potter, and it was all for the best because now she was going to get to enter with the champions and dance in the first dance.
And you give her a small smile but that's all you can manage for her right now. You're selfish, and you can't be happy for her when your heart was just cracked.
You and Parvati shop for dresses together, and you help her pick out the perfect one. She's giddy and nervous and keeps making you practice waltzing with her in between classes.
You try, you really do. But after a certain amount of time every day, you just can't keep up the smile for her anymore, and instead of pulling the curtains and whispering and gossiping, you hide under your sheets. Filled with jealousy and tears.
The afternoon of the ball you do Parvati's hair and help her get into her sari, pink and orange, her favorite colors. Giving her hands a small squeeze, you let her go off with Padma to meet Harry and Ron.
You square your shoulders. You realize that going with Seamus, even as friends, is better than not going with him at all. This way you wouldn't have to watch him with another girl. Patty ends up going with Dean, so you walk down to the common room with her.
The two of you wait a few minutes, just because you know that the common room will be mostly empty, and dammit, you want to make an entrance.
When you finally emerge, you see Seamus standing at the bottom of the stairs, hands shoved into his dress robe pockets. He looks cute, with his hair still sand-colored and messy. You smile a little bigger when you see his tie is tied correctly, not all up in a knot.
And then he sees you. And he gets this look in his eyes that you've seen from other boys before, but this one makes you lose your breath. He looks at you like you're... lovely.
You smile as you check him out, gaining back the control you wanted.
"Wow, you clean up nice, Finnigan." You say, liking the sound of his last name, before taking his arm and leading him out of the common room.
Parvati enters on Harry's arm, and though you still feel a stab of jealousy, when she looks to you she gets a supportive look back. Harry is rather awkward waltzing, you can tell.
You can tell that Seamus is rather awkward as well with dancing, but you're a tiny bit amused as to how many songs he'll dance with you despite that. You finally pity him when you start to get tired, and go to sit down.
"Well Finnigan, thanks. I'm having a great time." You say.
He grins and you suddenly have a powerful urge to snog him right at that very moment. You're startled at yourself, because this isn't the correct time in the date where that happens. The boy always waits until the end of the date, when you're in front of the portrait hole, to kiss you goodbye. You've kissed a few boys yourself in your time, but the prospect of leaning in and kissing Seamus yourself makes you uneasy and nervous.
A slow song starts playing, you look at the ground. You wonder if Seamus will ask you. You hope he will. You want him to hold you close in his arms, not like waltzes or faster songs where you can't feel his warmth or touch.
But you can't! Then you're sure to kiss him! And he won't kiss you back, because you're here as friends. Being just friends with a boy confuses you as this is the first time you've had to do it.
Damn his lopsided grin.
Out of nowhere, a tall boy with dark hair and brown eyes appears in front of you.
"Hello, I am Anton." He says in a deep voice.
"Hi! I'm Lavender Brown." You say, extending a hand. He kisses it slowly. He's mysterious, dark, handsome, tall, strong. A gentleman, you can bet that he doesn't compete in burping competitions, unlike the boy sitting next to you.
He'd probably get a high score on the test, you think.
"May I have this dance?" He asks.
You turn to Seamus, and you can see his jaw set. You wonder, no, hope, that he's jealous.
"You alright, Finnigan?" You ask, hoping he'll say something to make you stay, and then you'll be cross with him, and then you can just get over these feelings for the boy.
"Yeah, sure, go on Lav." He says.
Picking yourself up, you leave him without a second look. So what if Seamus doesn't care if you're dancing with another guy? You've got... what was his name? Anton.
He takes you in his arms and the two of you dance onto the floor. He holds you closely, and you have to look up at him to see his face. He really is quite handsome, face completely symmetrical and not a blemish in sight. He smells like something spicy, something you can't really put your finger on. His shoulders are quite broad.
"Is he your boyfriend?" He asks you, nodding over at Seamus. He's sitting in the seats, drinking.
"No, we just came together as friends." You say, and it hurts more than the time Parvati tried to wax your legs. You hate every word of that sentence.
You look up at Anton, who says, "Good. Your beauty pleases me."
You should want to snog this boy! You should want to kiss him until your face turned blue, the mysterious dark stranger of every girl's dreams. So why did you not feel the fiery need to smash your lips against his?
It upsets you, and you barely pay attention to the steps, letting Anton guide you. Kissing was supposed to be casual and fun, flirty, something to do that felt good. You wanted to particularly kiss boys that would be good boyfriends, and make all other girls seethe with jealousy.
That's all you wanted! Right?!
Everything confused you. So after the song ended, you bade him goodbye. He kisses your hand one last time, but you unfortunately feel nothing. Not even a little tingle or spark.
You go back to Seamus, who is still sitting and staring around at everyone.
The ball ends soon after that, and Seamus and you make your way back to Gryffindor common room. On the way, you see two figures pressed up against each other down the hallway, and you feel like stomping your foot.
Because when the two of you get into the common room and you're about to go upstairs and back to your dorm and he looks at you and it's the end of the date and this is the time and oh god, you just wish he would just kiss you already.
He doesn't. He tells you he had a nice time, and goes up the staircase towards the boy's dorms.
Exasperatedly pulling pins out of your hair, you enter the dorm. Parvati and you decide that you need to talk, and pull the curtains around her bed. She tells you how her night was absolutely terrible, and that Harry Potter has no idea how to treat a date.
You comfort her and fall asleep next to her, but secretly your glad she had as good a night as you.
Cedric Diggory's death does not eclipse your broken hearted feelings, but it does put a damper on them. You attend the funeral and hear about how he was killed by You-Know-Who, and how You-Know-Who was back.
It scares you. You say goodbye to Anton, who says he will write you. You don't care.
Everyone is a cloud of depression, so you try and pretend like every thing's ok. You know things are going to be different now but you push that thought away.
Maybe if you pretend for long enough, it will be.
A/N: Wow, this chapter was long! But I hope those reading this enjoyed it nonetheless. Sorry if it was hard to get through
YAY Lavender and Seamus are starting to catch feelings! I had a lot of fun writing about the Yule Ball.
Once again, thanks to everyone that reviewed. I really like hearing feedback.
Please review!