Dean slammed the heel of his hand into the Impala steering wheel. He rested his head on the top of the wheel. He had reversed Baby up the dirt track to the bunker and mentally poked himself to get out of the car.

"This is crap."

He huffed and looked down at the bag of supplies for their journey; energy bars, throat soothers, cough drops and a few vitamin shakes, all for Sam. He could scream but he wouldn't. There hadn't been a bag like that in the Impala since Sam was thirteen and had come down with an unshiftable flu.

Dean had slipped out from their home-base to stack up and to fill the gas tank. He had left his brother sipping hot lemon at the kitchen worktop, his skin grey and a sheen of feverish perspiration on his face. Dean had promised they were heading out to find Kevin, and he vowed he would keep his promises to Sam. Finding Kevin would lead to the final trial. Dean closed his eyes tight at the prospect.

He wanted Castiel back from wherever he had disappeared to with the frigging Angel Tablet. He was thinking about,, no he was worrying about Cas, when the road took him to Concordia instead of Lebanon Mall.

"You are such a wuss."

Missing Paul already, freaking dumb.

The first times he had returned to Geary's Bar, it had been casual, fun, exploratory with no strings attached. Dean had told himself that he could take things or leave them. Love'em and leave'em Winchester.

Something had happened. Paul Kerry had got under Dean's skin with his undemanding friendship, awesome hands and mouth and his open heart. Dean considered himself experienced but Paul could do things to a guy that no chick had ever… not even yoga-flexible Lisa.

"Not going there."

Dean grabbed the handles of the grocery bag.

Paul had said that they had a Thing. Not a relationship or a buddy-ship; A Thing. Dean liked it.

His guts twisted in regret that he had disappointed the guy. Sorry that he had to leave.

Dean had been convinced before Purgatory that he couldn't have a friend. Couldn't hold onto a friend; keep them from dying on him, leaving him, having to have their memory of him wiped to keep them safe. Benny had been his friend. Such a friend that he laid down his life for Dean. He was gone now, sacrificed in the name of Sam. Dean would ask the vampire to do it again in a blink, but he could still do with a Benny-hug right this second.

Hunting the djinns with Charlie, having her visit his home, planning to meet up later, knowing she read Chuck's scribbles about their lives and private thoughts. All that Winchester Gospels crap in her big brain, and being almost killed more than once, and yet still she wanted to know him. It made her a friend. If he could have a friendship with Charlie maybe he could add Paul to his single member social circle.

Sam didn't know about Paul.

If he told Sam, how would his brother take it?

Dean chewed on his lip. Sam was ill, 'damaged' Cas had said. Dean felt selfish considering placing his whatever with Paul in front of Sam, to deal with, react to, be disgusted by?

Sam would have to be told about Paul, if it were ever going to be more than a Thing. Perhaps Sam would be fine. Paul wasn't a vampire, not a monster of any kind. Sam might be cool about it.

Dean couldn't decide. He didn't know if he wanted more. If he did would it be with Paul?

What if, maybe, just maybe, Cas came home?

.

SPNSPNSPNSPSNPSNSPNSPNSPSNPSNPSNPSNPNSPNSPSNSPN

A/N - Short chapter, sorry. Hope you all liked it all the same. Thanks for reading.