Chapter 11
I arrived home after school to find Charlie already there.
After giving him a small wave I headed upstairs to my room. As soon as I entered a smile fell upon my face, there in the corner of the room was an old dusty piano.
I hadn't even asked Charlie for this, I wouldn't have even thought to.
I began playing piano at a very young age and continued even after I left Forks with my mother. It had always been my outlet, how I expressed myself and my emotions, my way of speaking without words.
When I was fifteen, Phil moved in with my mother and I stopped playing. His living with us felt like a breach of my privacy and I never wanted to share such a part of me with a stranger. Playing piano was how I had always opened up in my own way but I didn't want to open up to Phil.
I felt an immense amount of gratitude towards Charlie for this, he was able to communicate and understand me better than my mother ever did.
I ran downstairs quickly to the living room where Charlie sat watching the game; I knelt quickly at his side and placed my hand upon his.
"Liked your present eh?" he asked, his moustache twitched with the mischievous little smile he tried to repress. I gave his hand a squeeze, "thank you" I mumbled quietly.
His expression was one of shock; he had not expected me to reply. His breath caught holding back a sob that threatened to escape. He forced it back with a cough and turned back to the game. "Only about twenty minutes left of the game" he grunted officially ending our moment.
With a smile I turned back to the stairs.
Once I began playing, I couldn't seem to stop. I thought it might have taken me a while to get back into it but it was like I had never stopped.
After the game Charlie came and stood in my doorway for a while, I didn't know how long. Time meant nothing while I played.
The smile I could see on Charlie's face made me happy; I hadn't put a smile like that on my parents' faces in a long time. It made my heart swell and my cheeks began to hurt with the smile I held while my fingers ran over the keys.
A lone tear escaped me as I continued playing, all the emotions I had repressed throughout my life seemed to be catching up with me.
My body shook with all the loneliness and sadness I had always felt that consumed me while I played.
I had been numb all my life. I had avoided feeling anything, thinking that it would all be easier to just not feel at all. How could I get hurt when I had no emotion?
I slammed my fists down on the piano in anger. I was done. By never living my life, I had avoided feeling the bad parts but I never completely realised that I had missed out on all the good parts as well. You can't receive rewards if you don't go through the pain.
For the first time in my life, I wanted something better. I wanted it all.