Disclaimer: I don't own any of the original My Candy Love characters. Although I wish I did, cause Castiel is a sexy piece of ass, but unfortunately I do not own him. Oh, the shame! The horror! Oh! I don't own Life Alert either!
A/N: So yeah... not the ball... this is sort of a filler chapter, but actually I had a lot of fun writing it. It cracked me up a couple of times because Ella is just so damn crazy.
Anyways big thanks goes to my new beta, Munchkito - love you babe, thanks for the help! Anyways, onto the chapter.
Gunshots ringing out. The shattering of glass.
A bloodcurdling scream. Panic washing through her body as she bolted down the shadowy corridor.
Breath coming out heavily.
Stop.
Two large thumping noises. Two bodies hitting the ground. One after the other.
A masked man.
The feeling of liquid at her feet. Water maybe? Not likely
A hitched breath.
It's red - crimson. Still flowing. Still warm. The eyes still looking, but not seeing - dead, staring.
Another click of the trigger.
And then... Nothing.
My body heaves forward as I try to catch my breath, head pounding from the horrific snapshots of the past coursing through my mind. What could have brought on this episode? First school, and now this as well.
I rub the back of my neck as I feel sweat drenching me while I sit in the twisted bed sheets, trying to slow my accelerated heart rate. The only light glows from the clock on the bedside table. Looking over, I notice the time and groan inwardly (and outwardly, too). Damn, only 3:45? Really? Ugh, I've got school tomorrow, or should I say today? And then there's last minute setting up for the Halloween Ball. So...Melody will probably be a real she-witch today. Not even Nathaniel will want to be around her. Suppressing a chuckle, I run a hand through my gorgeously tousled bed head as I lean back down on the pillow. Flipping the pillow over of course before, 'cause there's nothing cooler than the flipside of my pillow.
After tossing and turning for a good fifteen minutes, I realize the obvious: I'm not going back to sleep. Yay, lovely! And I'm not being sarcastic at all. Looks like grumpy Ella will be making an appearance today. Hopefully she'll has better luck with she-witch, devil Melody today than the normal Ella, because grumpy Ella doesn't have a cursing filter! Wait...am I talking in third person. Ah well, the madness has begun. The game is afoot!
After peeling the covers off my toned and fabulously proportioned body, I pull up my sweatpants after I notice that they descended at some time during the night. Ugh, huffing in annoyance and grumbling something about 'stupid - ass nightmares' and how they 'fuck up your life' on the most important day I grudgingly make my way to the bathroom.
Nooooo! My reflection! Looking in the bathroom mirror, I am reminded that I need to deal with my face. Dark purple circles lay under my eyes; thankfully my long hair is gorgeously tousled. I look like the main star from a horror film, the cheerleader though, bless the Lord. Thank you Jesus! Like XOXOXO! Gros bissous!
Sighing, I prepare myself for the de - racooning process. It's a tedious process, but beauty is pain. The entire time, I grumble curses under my breath that would make a sailor feel aroused, for I am glorious ~ like oh my crap. After the eyes are dealt with...I'm done! Hey, some of us are just born sexy~fine.
After a good ten minutes of contemplation and staring at the shopping bag of cosmetics Rosa bought me on our last little shopping trip, I finally decide, 'what the hell, what do I have to lose? I won't suffocate like small child, I kick the shopping bag's ass!'
When searching through the contents of the bag, only one phrase comes to mind, "What the fuck is this stuff?" Now, I've never been one to wear make - up, maybe the occasional mascara or lip gloss, but I am naturally beautiful, and honestly the contents of the bag confuse me, really I don't think I need this stuff. Why would I want to conceal my beauty with these paints? I am no troll! My beauty is radiant and looked upon with jealousy by every woman in all the nine realms. Thor should make me his queen, no shit. Ugh, I suppose I must attempt to appease the Midgardian peasant Rosa whilst I await Thor to retrieve me. After returning from my daydream, I pick up a container, really, I can't decide whether this goes on my eyes or my cheeks...they need better labels.
If it is for my eyes, and I put it on my cheeks I could end up looking completely stupid like a clown from the circus (like all those damn Midgardian whores). I rack my memory, trying to remember the order Rosa told me I'm supposed to put this crap on. Okay, was it concealer or foundation first...? Uh...maybe I'm supposed put them on at the same time, but...okay never mind, that's actually physically impossible. I abandon this futile quest, carefully avoiding all the cosmetics I've tossed around and go back to my room (and return to Thor, my lover, in my mind).
As I reach for my phone which is next to the alarm clock I end up stubbing my toe on the corner of the table. An array of curses comes from my mouth and I give the table the finger. Okay, so I realize it may seem completely uncalled for and I know its an inanimate object and doesn't realize I gave it the finger, but it makes me feel better, so no judgey.
After retrieving my phone, I tiptoe my way back to the bathroom, carefully avoiding stubbing my toe on any more objects. Turning on the phone, I scroll down my list of contacts until I get to the one I want and click on it. After about four or five rings and me praying 'please don't let Leigh be there,' a very tired voice answers,
"Hello...?"
In the cheeriest voice I can muster, I say, "Oh hey Rosa! It's me Ella and I'm having a really big cosmetics conundrum, and, seeing as you're the queen of pointless beauty, I thought I'd call you. Haha! I'm the Hero!" Did I just reference Hetalia...I think I did! And I can!
A hear a long pause and then a growl from the other line before a reply comes through, "The Queen of Pointless Beauty?!" I roll my eyes, of course that's what she heard, before I can say anything though, she brusquely replies, "Ella do you have any concept of what time it is? It's 4:15 in the freaking morning! Aaaand we have school tomorrow! I require ample amounts of beauty sleep so henceforth, I'm hanging up. Goodbye. Call me when the sun rises!" Bitch thinks she's queen. Oh hell no. I'm the fucking queen! Anyway, I look over to the window, and guess what! THE SUN IS RISING! That little shit, Queen O'Turds, Rosa is getting herself a call, bitch please.
I look at the phone and hit the contact again. After four rings it's picked up.
She practically snarls, "What?!" The troll.
"Oooh, kitty has her claws out, rawr," in retrospect, that's probably the stupidest thing I've ever heard, but it pissed Rosalya off, so it worked! Yay me! "So are you gonna help me your majesty?" O'Turds, I added in my mind, I told y'all I was gonna be grumpy.
I hear more growling at the phone, probably summoning her troll brethren, before the line goes dead.
Again I call and it rings, and rings, but she doesn't pick up. Well then, it's on. I try again, and the bitch don't know, but the party never stops! After a lot of rings, she picks up, but, before I can get any words out, she cuts me off, practically snarling out the next two words, "Good. Bye." What a troll. Over 9,000 ugo pts for you! Oh well, looks like I'll have to be the judge of my makeup. Haha, looks like the joker will be in school today. Oh, I wonder what this pencil thingy does? Guess I'll have to experiment.
Bringing the pencil to my face, I stop short of my cheek (goin' in for a heart 'cause retro is in) when a familiar ringtone pierces through the air.
*Ghetto ass ringtone*
Yeah, listen up
Hey, hey, never look back,
Dumbstruck boy, ego attack
Look boy, why you so mad
Second guessin', but shoulda hit that
Hey Demi, you picked the wrong lover
Shoulda picked that one, he's cuter than the other -
I pick up the phone (*Inner Commentary: I HAVE TRIUMPHED AGAINST THE HIDEOUS TROLL BEAST! HUZZAH!*) as the person on the other line says,
"Okay, here's what you do with the makeup..." Knew that the she-beast wouldn't abandon me. I'm far too lovable.
After some instructions from the troll, I finally finish my face stuff, as I call it, and am actually surprised at the slight increase in my hot-it-ity (as it is so hard to get finer than I naturally am). I'm about to thank the she-devil when I hear light snoring coming from the other line. I giggle and hang up the phone. I am quite the lady.
I quickly rummage through my closet for something acceptable to wear, grab it, button up my swanky ass shirt and super fly jeans, and head to the kitchen. I needs to eat. My belly requires sustenance. It calls.
Usually Aunt Caroline would already be awake, but, seeing as I woke up before her, nothing ready. I make myself some toast and sit down at the table, thinking about what to do with the rest of my time. I'm already ready for school so...what to do? What to do?
An idea clicks, granted this just may be the toast high or lack of sleep talking (or grumpy Ella), but I feel like doing something evil. Abandoning my plate in the sink, I go over to the supply closet and grab the necessities. Is it just me or am I especially cray cray today? Girl, I am totally scandalous.
I make my way to Castiel's apartment with surprise in hand.
I knocking on the door, I hear no movement inside the apartment. Ugh, why does he have to be an asshole. Just open the damn door. I knock again, with more force, and still no signs of life. Fed up, I shout, "Oi, asshole!" at the door. Tada! Shit. A door opens, but not his; 'tis just my nemesis', of course, old man with a Hawaiian shirt.
"You -" he glares, "Shut da hell up." Our glaring contest commences. *Western Music Plays*
"Why don't you make me old man!" I sass back, 'cause I'm sassy like that. I know it's immature to fight with an old man, but I mean it's my nemesis, and he started it.
"That's it!" he says, throwing his arms up, "I'm calling the po-po, because you, little missy, be disturbing me peace!" He takes out a cellphone from his robe pocket he begins to dial; me being the sensible, mature, responsible person I am do what any person would do in my situation: I lunge at him.
With the mighty battle cry of a true warrior, I bolt for him, tackling him to the ground. We wrestle for the phone, sending glares and psychic death beams at one another. He yells a "yee crazy bitch," and I get right back at him in German, " Die meine alte Nemesis. Ich werde siegen! Die du alt verfickten troll!" The can of paint in my hand splattering us, a deep blue haze covers us both. Oh yeah baby, I'm in the zone.
"What. The. Fuck?" A new voice momentarily stops us and we both turn to stare at the newcomer. To my horror, I find a very tired looking Castiel looking at us as if he wants to pretend that this is actually all a bad dream. Pussy. It only takes a moment, but the old man, oh yes, my nemesis, he's a feisty one, starts up the battle again.
"GIVE ME, ME PHONE!" he yells. Obviously, he's in the zone as well. My nemesis is a mighty foe. Grappling on the ground with the old man, the paint flies to hit Castiel in the face.
"FUCK!" He interrupts us for the second time, both the old man and I look over and see the redhead now a bluenet. The paint drips down from his face to his chest, his very toned, muscular, sexy - what was I saying again?
Anyways the old man is back at it again, and we continue fighting for the phone until Castiel, still blinded by the paint, backs up into the fire alarm, causing the sprinklers to spray all over us.
Another apartment door opens and an old woman walks out in her long nightgown looking startled at the scene.
Well, I suppose anyone would be startled when seeing the scene. Duh. There we were, a teenage boy with a fresh paint job standing in the hall and a teenage girl and an old man in a bathrobe wrestling over a cell phone, both supporting our own healthy coats of paint as well, while the sprinklers from overhead rained down on us.
Nothing could have prepared me for her next words:
"I'm using my Life Alert!" the old hag screeched.
Calling out to her, I scream "Wait! I thought you were only supposed to use that if you've fallen and you can't get up!" The old man took my momentary pause as an opportunity to best me, the sly bastard. Unwilling to let my nemesis gain this victory, I forced us to start rolling down the hallway, until we hit Castiel, after finally clearing the paint from his eyes, causing him to fall down. Gravity just then decided to join the fray, and down the stairs we go! All three of us, like sacks of potatoes! (I love potatoes.)
The fall slightly disorients me and I swear I can hear what sounds like a dying animal coming from my right (because obviously I know what dying animals sound like). Looking over I see Castiel holding his crotch in pain with my nemesis' elbow only centimeters from it.
Though with a thud, I hear something drop and my gaze instantly snaps there, animal instincts taking over as I see the old man look over as well. It's our prey. The phone. We instantly dive for it, ignoring Castiel's cries of pain, well that is until we hear what I can only identify as police sirens, awh shit, we're totally screwed. It's the po - po.
The police, obviously having been raised by wolves, come barreling in without knocking. Seriously, where has all the chivalry gone?
"Everybody freeze!" We all stop, "Now put your hands in the air," we comply, "Now wave 'em like you just don't care!" Ha. Ha. Ha. A police officer with a sense of humor. Ooh there comes grumpy Ella. Obviously they see our completely unamused faces because the "funny" police officer stops joking around and the other one suddenly speaks up.
"What the hell is going on here?" Well duh what does it look like? We're having good old fashion fun you asshat. Yes, grumpy Ella has her claws out. Fear her. She will suffocate you with her boobs. She has before. But... unfortunately that's a story for a different time. But honestly, we have a boy writhing in pain on the floor, and old man sprawled out, also on the floor and a girl dangling a phone in front of him in a taunting way. Connect the dots dude. Connect the dots.
Castiel, nemesis and I all share glances, Seeing as neither of the two men are responding *cough pussies cough* I decide to take matters into my own hands the only way I know how to: The Ella Way.
"Oh officers!" I throw myself at their feet, "I was just on my way to school to pitch in some extra hours for the school dance and I had my paint can in hand being the prepared girl I am, but unfortunately I awoke my dear neighbor Castiel," I motion to Castiel, "And we suddenly heard this large crash and oh! The horror!" Cue the waterworks. "This poor woman, another neighbor, she was having a stroke and I didn't even know if she was going to live or die! We did the most sensible thing trying to help her but then this old man came out and man handled me trying to steal my personal belongings and my poor colleague Castiel got covered in paint when this thief of an old man tried to escape. When Castiel was straining to get the paint from his eyes, hoping to avoid blindness at all costs, he hit the fire alarm. But the old man would not just stop there, oh no, he pushed past me and Castiel valiantly stopped him and gravity took over and we all fell down the stairs and then you showed up, and... Oh this is just too much!" I should be on Broadway. Or in Hollywood. I am just too good.
The officers, who were silent throughout my entire monolog look at one another before giving a shrug indicating they're just downright confused.
"She's telling the truth." A smooth voice breaks through the awkward, sob - filled silence. Oh yeah, Cas! Back me up baby! Another person was all the push the cops needed because in no time the had grabbed nemesis and were dragging him away. Kicking and screaming. Literally. I wish I had a camera to take a picture of this wonderful moment in my life. Truly a Kodak moment.
"You're weird," I hear from behind me, suddenly, I look over and Castiel is looking at me, before I can reply with some sassy answer of sorts, he adds, smirking, "it's not such a bad thing." Then he looks at the doors where nemesis just got dragged out of, looks at me, and shakes his head, saying "This is one fucked - up dream," before turning around and walking back up the stairs.
Oh well, guess I have to go get ready. Again. I wonder if Rosa would mind if I called her again. Course not, I'm too lovable for her to turn down.
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A/N: See? Kind of filter - ish... Sorry about the long wait. And I actually do have the next chapter all written and ready to go, but alas, it all depends on the readers to encourage me to put up said chapter... And it's actually the ball this time... Ooh look at that sexual tension and ooh that - *slaps hand over mouth* Almost gave away all my secrets there! Anyways the review buttons right there - how bad do you want the next chapter?