Chapter 3: Slughorn and Burrow

The difference between what is written in a book and what was experienced is vast. Harry knew it first hand. He had read about the dangers of using dark magic and had decided to never practice it. But desperate times call for desperate measures. He had to use the Imperius curse on Crabbe's grandmother to save Amelia Bones. It had been a week since he had rescued Amelia Bones and he remembered the effects of using an unforgivable vividly.

At the time he cast the spell, he felt the euphoria of controlling another person. The pleasure of having a person totally under your control was intoxicating. It gave him a feeling of power that he had never felt before.

But, after using it, he felt so filthy. The curse was vile and he puked many times that night. He felt so impure that he puked at the thought of casting that curse again. His actions that night still haunted him somewhat. He was not used to directly kill people. He was the quissential good guy. Even though he was not Dumbledore's golden boy, he was still a good person underneath. That night resulted in three deaths because of him. They were all death eaters or sympathizers but they were still human beings.

But still it was a bit satisfying to tell Amelia Bones some of the things that he had kept secret over the years. Who knew simple talking would help so much. He resolved to talk to Luna the coming year. It would help him immensely. There was a general frustration in him that he was alone and could not talk to anyone. But he hoped Luna would ease that. He still had doubts if he should have shown Amelia some of his skills. Apparation was definitely something he had mastered very easily. That night was the first time he had used apparation and he did not get splinched at all. His mental fortitude made it possible.

The events of the night were a revelation to him. He felt filthy and remorseful over using a person like that. But it was necessary. He always did what was necessary. He was not naïve enough to believe that he could get through this war without killing. The prophecy stated that he had to kill Voldemort and it was a given that he would have to face an army of death eaters before getting to him. He resolved to do what was needed. If he had to harden his heart, then so be it. He vowed to never use an unforgivable again unless it was the direst of situations. But it was better he got the first kill business out of the way with some low level death eater. If he faced Voldemort and hesitated to kill, it would have been bad.

Harry was glad to get out of Privet Drive after just a fortnight with them. A lot had happened in the wizarding world after the incident at the department of mysteries. There was a new minister, a Rufus Scrimgeour who looked like an old lion in human form. The ministry was sending out leaflets to people about what to do in case of death eater presence or attack. The latest Harry Potter news was that he might be the chosen one to rid them of Voldemort. Well, for once they had been right.

Harry thought it was a trick. There would be no way that Dumbledore would let him out this early. He did tell him about recharging the blood wards at Privet Drive. So he was very surprised when Dumbledore actually came to get him. He hastily packed his trunk but stopped when Dumbledore came to the door. He had not warned the Dursleys.

Harry was a bit awed at the way Dumbledore masterfully took control of the conversation in the manner he wished and directed the conversation where he wished. He was very intrigued by the shriveled hand but he could not call him out on that. Dumbledore was uncharacteristically blunt in the conversation. He was trying to portray as though he was honest and was not holding back anything from Harry.

But Harry knew that wasn't the case. Dumbledore just informed him about the details of Sirius' will. Dumbledore didn't have him sign anything. Harry was sure that the primary beneficiary had to have a say and agree or witness the will. At least that was what he had read. And the bit about the house being opened only by a pureblood was pure hogwash. There was something that Dumbledore was trying to hide. Dumbledore didn't want him to go to Grimmauld place for some reason. Sure he gave an acceptable reason but it was still a reason. He would have to investigate this later.

Harry wanted to kill Kreacher in the most painful way but Dumbledore was present. He hid his fury and dealt with him. He acted as was expected of him – embarrassed for not having packed and a bit scared when Dumbledore's stare turned wintry at the Dursleys. Harry thought that Dumbledore was just trying to appease him by telling off the Dursleys. If he wanted to stop the abuse, he would have berated them and done something about the abuse long ago. He did not fall for this charade.

Side long apparation was even more horrid than normal apparation. He had never felt claustrophobic before this.

"Are you all right?" asked Dumbledore, looking down at him solicitously. "The sensation does take some getting used to."

"I'm fine," said Harry, rubbing his ears, which felt as though they had left Privet Drive rather reluctantly. "But I think I might prefer brooms..."

Dumbledore smiled, drew his traveling cloak a little more lightly around his neck, and said, "This way."

He set off at a brisk pace, past an empty inn and a few houses. According to a clock on a nearby church, it was almost midnight.

"So tell me, Harry," said Dumbledore. "Your scar... has it been hurting at all?"

Harry raised a hand unconsciously to his forehead and rubbed the lightning-shaped mark.

"No," he said, "and I've been wondering about that. I thought it would be burning all the time now Voldemort's getting so powerful again."

He glanced up at Dumbledore and saw that he was wearing a satisfied expression. "I, on the other hand, thought otherwise," said Dumbledore. "Lord Voldemort has finally realized the dangerous access to his thoughts and feelings you have been enjoying. It appears that he is now employing Occlumency against you."

"Well, I'm not complaining," said Harry, who missed neither the disturbing dreams nor the startling flashes of insight into Voldemort's mind. It might be useful but who wants a Voldemort radar on him that gives so much pain? Even though he was no stranger to pain, why ask for it willingly? There was also a subtle hint that he was not good enough at Occlumency and that this peace of mind was entirely due to Voldemort. He knew that wasn't the case. The connection simply prevented any form of Occlumency protection. Voldemort had found some other means to stop Harry from entering his mind. Only when Voldemort did not control whatever he was doing completely would Harry get visions now. It was proved when Harry had a vision about the attack plan for Amelia Bones. Voldemort was too gleeful then to properly shield himself from Harry. Harry did not get visions for the plans of other attacks like Vance.

The Budleigh Babberton was a strange place. Dumbledore told him that he would find a use for him to secure himself a staff member. Harry silently fumed. Used like a weapon and discarded when not needed. That was the story of his life. Well no more. Given a little more time, he would be ready for everyone.

For the next part of the conversation when they talked about Fudge, Scrimgeour and Amelia Bones, Harry was silently laughing to himself. Fudge was an idiot and Scrimgeour seemed to have met some of Dumbledore's expectations. He really cracked up mentally when Dumbledore put up a sad face when Amelia's supposed death was mentioned. He found it extremely satisfying to annoy Dumbledore with meaningless questions while he searched for his colleague. It was a bit distracting and irritating. But Dumbledore was calm.

Inferi were scary. He had never heard or read about them before. To know Voldemort used them freely was a horrible surprise. To him, it was disgusting to use corpses for your nefarious schemes. Voldemort didn't even leave the dead lie in peace. It was a sacrilege to disturb the dead.

Whoever the colleague Dumbledore was searching for was, Harry had to give him credit. The destruction was believable except for the fact that everything was destroyed such that they were instantly repaired. Nothing was destroyed permanently. The bit of blood would have been believable if there were blood stains on the floor or in other places.

Even though he knew the destruction was faked, he was honestly surprised at the human transfiguration performed by Horace Slughorn. He was an enormously fat, bald, old man. He had prominent eyes and big, silver, walrus like mustache. He was a rather short fellow wearing a maroon jacket and silk pajamas. He was unabashed over his attire or his deception.

Seeing them both seemingly correct the destruction with a wave of their wands, Harry thought it might be worthwhile to learn some household spells. His room was always the messiest. He liked things that way. Even at school, his dorm mates scolded him to clean his stuff up every week. But it was so easy to get anything he wished if things were available at hand. He couldn't help it if things got messy for that.

Slughorn's exclamations of "Oho" really irritated him. The rotund man was sharp. He immediately picked up the reason Harry was present. Dumbledore tactfully kept the conversation away from recruiting him after the initial inquiry. He talked about other inconsequential things. Slughorn's reaction to the blackened hand of Dumbledore and the ring resting in it were puzzling. It seemed as though he was trying to recall where he had seen the ring before.

Harry honestly thought that the both of them had forgotten about him. His chuckles when they talked about Umbridge drew their attention. This was when Dumbledore made his move.

Harry's succeeding talk with him made him want to rip the man. He was brash and did not care a whit about a person's feelings. He thought of people as something to be collected. He talked about Sirius callously only terms of talent and about his mother in the same collector like fashion.

At the first sign of Harry's anger, the man mistook that Harry thought he was against muggleborns. Harry didn't bother telling him the true reason he was angry at the man. Not with Dumbledore close by and no doubt listening to the conversation. But even Harry had to admit, this man was connected. He knew people everywhere. And it seemed as if he called in favors quite often too. Harry couldn't resist taking a jab at it.

Harry decided that enough was enough. It was about time he did what was expected of him again. He tried to convince Slughorn to return to Hogwarts even though he was almost derisive in his talk. Besides, Harry could use a man with connections like Slughorn. He had to somehow get the man in confidence during the next year. It shouldn't be too difficult since Slughorn was immensely interested in adding the Boy Who Lived to his collection. Harry almost snorted when Slughorn referred to the death eaters as death kilters. He didn't know what it meant but it sure sounded funny.

Dumbledore proved that he had indeed been listening to the conversation when he reentered the moment Slughorn agreed to come to Hogwarts to teach. Then he proceeded to bait Slughorn into agreeing properly. Harry found the portly man's actions very amusing. He would have fun playing this guy around.

Dumbledore's description of Slughorn cemented Harry's thoughts. Slughorn wanted to adorn his collection with the Boy Who Lived. He would play him nicely.

The second side long apparation was also a horrid experience. Harry was not at all surprised even though he acted as such when Dumbledore requested to talk to him privately.

The talk about Sirius was painful. Harry had thought about the ministry debacle a lot during the fortnight he was at the Dursleys. He was still very sad that Sirius was gone. He was the foremost father figure to him. But more than that, Sirius looked out for Harry first and everyone else next. Harry could not say that about anyone else he knew. Even Remus depended on Dumbledore a lot. For Sirius, the first consideration was his godson, Harry Potter and that was why Harry missed him so much. Harry had thought of revealing himself truly to Sirius this holiday if he had been alive. Harry had needed some adult support to pull off his plans but now, it was not possible.

Harry spoke passionately about taking how many ever death eaters and Voldemort before he was gone. It was true and it also played well into Dumbledore's intentions. Dumbledore praised him and patted him on his back as though he was a child who had made a very important discovery. Dumbledore seemed way too pleased about his admission.

He acted dumb when Dumbledore asked him about the chosen one business. He had thought about telling Ron and Hermione himself but not soon. But Dumbledore kind of insisted that he tell them. The promise of extra private lessons were to further appease him or Dumbledore had another agenda. This was troubling. He preferred not to have more contact with the headmaster this year. He wanted more time to himself to figure out his plans now that he didn't have Sirius's support. He noted shrewdly that Dumbledore did not exactly commit as to what he would teach him. Now Harry doubted that he would actually teach Harry anything.

Harry rolled his eyes at Dumbledore safety tips. His rebuke at insulting the Weasleys by doing something crazy was accepted with a mental sigh.

It was good to be back at the Burrow. It always had a homely feel. The warm greeting by Mrs. Weasley was comforting.

Seeing the vibrant, cheerful Tonks so subdued was shocking. Her usually bright pink hair and cheery smile was missing. She had a fake smile and mousy brown hair. She looked ill and refused the offer to get together with other people. She seemed to almost close up at the mention of Remus and Moody. Was there something wrong between any three of them?

Harry was glad he had grown the last term. His growth spurt had continued into the summer. His baggy clothes hid his toned body which had developed quite nicely due to his continuous physical exercises. Not starving at the Dursleys due to the icebox full of food in his secret second compartment helped. He wondered if he could continue exercising at the Burrow. He had to find a viable reason or manage not doing them somehow.

He was happy to know Hermione had arrived already. He liked to eat what Mrs. Weasley cooked. They were far tastier than what he cooked or the pre prepared meals in his icebox. The additional information of Slughorn was mildly interesting. He was really happy that Mr. Weasley got a promotion. It couldn't have happened to a better man. With the ministry full of corrupted or pureblood gits, it was good to know that people like Mr. Weasley existed.

Harry hardened heart was suspiciously soft to see the love and teasing between the Weasley parents. He was also very grateful for them when he was given the twins' room. It was a gesture that not even his blood family had done for him. The room just screamed twins' handiwork. There were scorch marks, cardboard boxes and the smell of gunpowder. He fell asleep with a gentle smile on his face.

His morning abruptly started with Ron hitting him. Ron and Hermione were hiding something from him but it was alright. He had more to hide than any of them. It really annoyed him that Hermione scrutinized him like a puzzle to solve. He saw the gleam in her eyes that said she would be happy to dissect him and patch him back together again. She wanted him to confess his feelings about Sirius. She thought she would help him with his grief. Obviously she had read many books about dealing with losing a loved one. He considered her his best friend but really, she placed faith in books and authority way too much.

Hermione's inquisitive nature was borderline obsession. She was very invasive and persistent even if a person refused her. The level of her curiosity was frightening. He would bet anything on the fact that if Hermione had an animagus form, it would most definitely be some sort of a cat. Just like Ron had inferiority complex, Hermione had the complex that she had to know everything. She also had the complex that she should be the one to solve any problem that they face. She desperately wanted to be the smartest witch of their generation whatever the consequences may be. In a way, her ambition in that regard was shrewder than a Slytherins.

She was also very bossy. This could be attributed to her parents. She had a very good support system in her childhood but her parents would have let her get away with everything. Being the only child and a daughter, she would have had too much leeway with everything. But all this had helped her in a way. She stood by him when no one did especially during the tournament. Her logical brain knew that he had not put his name in the goblet. She helped him when he should have needed help. Even though he was acting to be average, she helped him. It was scary that she was more worried about grades than loss of life but it was one of her quirks. But he couldn't complain. She had helped him in a few scrapes. He might have managed on his own but it was heartening to know that she would back him up even in dangerous situations. When she was out of her depth, she turned to him for the solution. She trusted him to lead her when she could not think of anything. She was practical and book smart but she was not realistic. Whatever she was, with all her faults and strengths, she was his best friend.

Ron was a brash, jealous and insensitive idiot. But he was also very loyal. His temper flared at everything and he had trouble controlling his impulses. He was the stereotypical Gryffindor. He hated Slytherins with a passion and refused to listen anything good about them. He could not see faults within him and got very surly when he was proved wrong. His idea of school was all play and little work. He was barely interested in studies and he was not all that intelligent. He was a good chess player but he sucked at strategy in real time situations. He was almost useless at the Ministry fight and even in the Shrieking Shack in their third year. He would never be a leader but he would be a damn fine follower.

Ron craved for money, fame and recognition. Harry knew that he could control himself in most cases but Ron did slip up many times. Ron's jealousy blinded him to the facts. He did not see the events that had caused Harry's fame and money. The cost of Harry's fame and money was the loss of his parents and the loss of his childhood. He did not understand what a big price that was to pay. Ron, like Hermione also had very good family support. If he was humble, he could have asked his many successful brothers for advice. They had experience and they could have guided him through anything. But no, he was a stubborn idiot. He did not value his family that much. Sure, he loved them and all but he was not that enamored with the idea of putting his family first above everything else. In that way, Harry respected Mr. Weasley more than any man he currently knew. Mr. Weasley strived hard to provide for his family while still doing what he liked. Harry was sure he could have been in a much better position in the Ministry if he wished and Harry knew that Mr. Weasley considered his family before anything else. It was so sad that Ron did not follow Mr. Weasley in this regard. Ron's many faults were covered by his courageous acts in Harry's defense and support. This was the reason that Ron was his other best friend.

Both Ron and Hermione trusted Dumbledore without question. That was the reason why Harry never revealed his secrets to them. They cared for him sure, but they were in awe of Albus Dumbledore, the next best thing to the wizarding world since Merlin. It was what was believed by most of the light side and general wizarding public.

Harry could make out that Hermione wanted to talk to him about Sirius. Ron just supported her even though he was uncomfortable. But they did not understand.

Sirius meant more to him than they could imagine. Both Ron and Hermione were brought up in loving families. They never had a childhood like him where abuse was regular and food was stolen if he didn't want to go hungry. He had no support in his childhood. From having no one to depend on to having a godfather who loved you was overwhelming. For an orphan starved for love, a father figure was a godsend. In a way, he realized that he loved Sirius more than his parents. He never knew his parents. He was proud of them for their achievements and their sacrifice. But Sirius was the one who was there for him to support him.

He shook his thoughts away as they discussed Slughorn a bit. But the moment Ginny came through the door, he realized he might have waited too long. He knew a year ago that Ginny would be a beautiful woman. He had a connection to her and he knew he had feelings for her. He was just waiting until she got a bit older and grew a little bit. But wearing robes everyday had hidden her progress of blooming into a beautiful girl.

She wore a white t-shirt that clung snugly to her breasts. The faded jeans that she wore seemed like she was poured into them. She had a slim waist and very nice ass. Her muggle clothes clearly showed her growth. Her pale skin and the deep red hair created a breathtaking combination. The few freckles that she had added to her attractiveness. He wondered if she had freckles all over her body. Amazingly proportioned for a girl of 15 years, she was a knockout. He had to get her and he would get her.

Fleur was a surprise. He had not kept in touch with Fleur that regularly. Their last communication was when he had sent her a Christmas present. Her presence was refreshing. She was still the picture perfect definition of beauty. Her long silvery blond hair, pale blue eyes and heavenly curves could charm anyone without using veela magic. He now wondered how many types of beauty were there. Ginny was one, Fleur was one. Who knows how many more he would discover.

He was surprised to hear about Bill and Fleur. He knew that she was interested in Bill after she saw him at the tournament but this engagement was too soon. But he could see how this match would work. Bill was a brilliant curse breaker and was the epitome of cool. He had charm and he was intelligent. Beneath the façade of a blond bimbo, Fleur was actually a very talented witch. It was no surprise that Gringotts hired her and he knew that goblins hire only the best. Fleur was also crafty and got what she wanted. Yes, this would be a great match.

He was a bit shocked that the rest of the Weasley family did not share his opinion. It seemed that Fleur had only shown her dumb blond side to them. He was really shocked when he heard that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had eloped. It was a big thing in their day to elope.

Ginny's name for her, "Phlegm" was insulting and he wished Fleur didn't hear others saying that behind her back. Ron still looked like a sick dog. He had absolutely no resistance to the veela charm. He just couldn't understand their objections. Wasn't it right that if two people desired to be together, they had a right to be together. It wasn't fair that others try to break them up.

When Hermione acted like she had deduced Tonks' reason for being sad and was harried that Tonks couldn't understand it, Harry wanted to curse her badly. She had read about survivor's guilt and had no doubt tried to get Tonks to open up. Was Tonks some kind of charity case to her? Would she do the same to him? He had survived too, hell they all had. Does that mean all of them had survivor's guilt? She had not lost anyone close to her to know how it felt to have their world ripped from under them. So she could only refer to what she had read. She simply couldn't believe that a book could be wrong. She never had a realistic view of life. It was all divided into the levels and layers of knowledge she could gain from it.

He was happy to know the success of the twins. He was irritated when Hermione quoted Dumbledore. Really! Her faith in authority and books was so overrated.

There was a chance to tell them the prophecy and he took it. Dumbledore would check them in some subtle way if he had not told them. Their reactions were not unexpected. Hermione was pitying him still trying to make him confess about his emotions on the prophecy. Ron was eager and jealous about the lessons and completely disregarded the prophecy after the initial shock.

Harry found it extremely amusing to watch how quickly Hermione wound herself up. One mention of O.W.Ls and she was running around asking annoying questions. He saw a wicked gleam in Fleur's eyes as she appreciated the black eye Hermione had courtesy of Fred and George. Hermione was very rude when Fleur tried to calm her down trying to explain Beauxbatons educational system.

Harry's results weren't bad. He had scored:

A in Astronomy

E in Care of Magical Creatures

E in Charms

O in DADA

P in Divination

E in Herbology

D in History of Magic

E in Potions

E in Transfiguration

He knew it did not reflect his real ability. He personally felt that O.W.Ls were a joke. They tested students for perfect wand movements and incantations. Anyone can learn them from a book if he had the least bit of intelligence. The marks were based on book knowledge and not the actual magical ability. He felt that if there were tests, they should test the magical capability of every student. He could easily perform movement less and wordless magic. It was known that it was better but they don't test it. People were not tested for their mastery of magic.

Even then, he had not performed to the best of his knowledge. He wanted to still hide the fact he was quite intelligent. But he did want to have good grades. He nearly gave it away. If it were not for the interruption in Astronomy and History of Magic exam, he might be suspected. He was expected to get outstanding there. Nobody considered the Divination scores anyway. In all other subjects, he had gotten a steady "E". It would have been abnormal to see and have all Es and one O in the list. He was glad that he got away with that mistake before anyone realized it.

He again saw the competitive and slightly resentful gleam in Hermione's eyes when she learned that she got an E for DADA where as he had gotten an O. She was known as the smartest witch of the generation and wanted to keep it that way. He did not even care about these stupid tests and she was getting worked up over these.

Harry really did not want to work as an auror for the ministry after having seen the corruption and incompetence. He thought maybe he could play Quidditch professionally or open some business. He was sure he had enough money from Sirius and his parents for that.

But his future would have to wait until he dealt with Voldemort and Dumbledore.