Thanks for your reviews guys. I can see that a lot of people are reading this and fewer are reviewing so I'm going to keep posting this one because at least I know that if you're reading it means you seem to be enjoying it anyway. A special thank you goes out to my fantastic beta Angel of the Night Watchers who chapter by chapter makes my story better. Thank you!
Enjoy :)
Chapter Twelve - Bonding
"Billy!" Charlie was clearly excited as he exited his police cruiser, running over to Billy for a hug and conversation that was clearly not-so-awkward as small talk would normally be.
I turned toward the house and beckoned Jacob to go with me, trying to make it look like I didn't want to be part of the 'catching up' phase. But really, I didn't want to see that look in Billy's eyes anymore. I hoped that with Charlie as a distraction he may forget what has been really upsetting him, but I knew the hope was in vain.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't see you behind the wheel, Jake," he said disapprovingly, but the cocked eyebrow told me he wasn't that serious.
"We get early permits on the rez," Jacob said before turning away awkwardly. Charlie laughed.
"Sure you do," I had unlocked the front door and put on the porch light by now, hoping to draw them in or give them reason to stay out there longer.
"I have to get around somehow." Billy's voice was resonant, probably because of his age. I felt younger when I heard it, but I couldn't tell if it was because I had only been a child when I saw him last, or if it was because of how he intimidated me.
I went further inside, leaving the door open behind me and turning on all the lights before I decided that it was time to hang up my jacket. As I went to the closet, I felt shivers pass through me. He couldn't possibly know what he thinks he knows, that or he couldn't believe it. No one in this day and age really believed in vampires anymore, did they? I found that I had paused in what I was doing as the boys came in, shaking off the rain.
"This is a surprise," Charlie was saying.
"It's been too long," Billy agreed. "I hope it's not a bad time." His eyes had flashed up to me at this and I shook my head, trying to feign a smile. I wish that I did want him here, but not when his eyes held all the accusations he was glaring at me.
"No, it's great." I should have known Charlie would be oblivious. "I hope you can stay for the game."
Jacob grinned. "I think that's the plan - our TV broke last week."
I grinned, despite myself. "Ah, ulterior motives." Now with my presence known Charlie smirked while Billy made a face toward his son.
"Of course, Jacob was anxious to see Vivienne again."
"Liv." Jacob blushed while the two of us corrected him in sync. I tried not to show my discomfort, apparently I had been too convincing on the beach. Take that acting teachers who gave me low marks.
"Are you hungry?" I added, walking towards the kitchen to escape the dangerous scenario.
"Naw, we ate just before we came." Jacob answered, sauntering into the kitchen after me. I tried not to make my awkwardness visible.
"How about you Charlie?" I called.
"Sure." He responded, almost too eagerly. His voice was now coming from the direction of the TV so I knew that he and Billy were getting ready to be comfortable. I settled with grilled cheese, one of my forte's, as simple as they were. I cut up the marble cheese, processed cheese tastes horrible in comparison, and buttered the bread.
"So, how are things?" Jacob asked as I was slicing the cheese.
"Pretty good." His enthusiasm was hard to resist, so I smiled despite the awkwardness in the pit of my stomach. "How about you? Finished your Rabbit yet?"
"You remembered." He smiled, but shook his head. "No, though. I still need parts. We borrowed that one." He pointed in the direction of the front yard. Surprisingly, I had been so distracted I couldn't even remember what he had driven.
"What are you looking for?"
"Still the Master cylinder." He grinned. "Oh, hey is something wrong with the truck?" he added suddenly. I looked at him blankly and shook my head. "Oh, I just wondered because you weren't driving it."
I stared down at the pan and lightly pressed my finger tip to it and brought it back quickly after I felt the burn, I was glad for the distraction of putting on two sandwiches.
"Nope." I muttered. "Just got a ride with a friend."
"Nice ride." Jacob's voice was admiring. "I didn't recognize the driver, though. I thought I knew most of the kids around here."
I nodded slightly as I began buttering another four slices for myself. I had already sliced the cheese and cursed myself for it - now I had fewer things to occupy myself with. Hm. Suddenly I was in the mood for some veggies. I went to the fridge to grab lots to cut up.
"My Dad seemed to know him from somewhere." Jacob continued. I almost groaned out loud, were he to have better hearing he probably could have heard it at the back of my throat.
"Could you grab me some plates? They're in the cupboard over the sink."
"Sure, sure." He got the plates quietly but I could tell by the look on his face he was still contemplative. I flipped the sandwiches onto their other side. Crisped perfectly. "So who was it?" He asked, setting the plates on the counter next to me.
"Edward Cullen." I sighed quietly, admitting defeat and preparing for the grumbling. But instead, he laughed.
"I guess that explains it, then." He smirked. "I wondered why my Dad was acting so strange."
"Yeah." I mumbled in embarrassment. "He doesn't like the Cullens...and here I was thinking you were exaggerating."
"Superstitious old man." Jacob muttered under his breath. I winced and hid it by taking off Charlie's sandwiches and putting on my own. With my secret addition, I splashed a bit of salt on them and I put some ketchup on the side of the plate and took it out to him. He was watching TV intently, not paying any attention to me but a mumbled thanks. I avoided Billy's eyes.
When I got back into the kitchen I automatically flipped my sandwiches over before innocently asking, "you don't think your dad would say anything to mine, right?"
"I doubt it, " he answered, but I was upset when I couldn't see the expression behind his eyes. "I think Charlie chewed him out pretty good last time. They haven't spoken much since. Tonight is sort of a reunion, I think. I don't think he'll bring it up again."
"Oh." I tried to sound indifferent but he must have been able to tell that my tone was lighter and less troubled because of the frown on his face. I felt bad, but at the same time I felt somewhat safer. I didn't even mind listening in on the conversation. It was so happy in there, other than when the opposing team would get a touch down, that I knew nothing bad would happen. Billy wouldn't ruin the moment, for now, I was fine.
Finally when the game ended, I walked Jacob out to the door, Charlie pushing Billy. Jacob turned to smile at me.
"Are you and your friends coming back to the beach soon?" Jacob asked as he pushed his father over the lip of the threshold..
"I'm not sure...but I'll make it a point to add it in the agenda." I added the last part quickly when I saw his face fall, he was one of those guys I couldn't stand letting down. He smiled even wider than before as he sauntered over to his dad.
"That was fun, Charlie," Billy said.
"Come up for the next game," Charlie encouraged.
"Sure, sure," Billy said. "We'll be here. Have a good night." His eyes shifted to mine and his smile disappeared. "You take care, Liv."
The message was not lost. "Thanks, Billy. G'night."
I headed for the stairs while Charlie waved from the doorway but froze on the steps when I heard a quiet, "wait, Liv." I'm going to have a heart attack. What had Billy admitted? I turned around.
"I didn't get a chance to talk to you tonight. How was your day?"
"Good." I hesitated with one foot on the first stair, searching for details I thought could be safe. "My badminton team won all four games."
"Wow, I didn't know you could play badminton."
"Well, actually, I can't." I admitted weakly. "But my partner's the bomb."
"Who is it?" he asked with a token of interest. I bit my lip.
"Uhm, Mike Newton?" I told him reluctantly. He nodded.
"Oh yeah - you said you were friends with the Newton kid." He smiled. "Nice family. Why didn't you ask him to the dance this weekend?"
"Dad!" I groaned. "He'd dating Jessica. You know, as in one of my best friends? Besides, I already told you that I'm not going to the dance."
"Oh yeah. But you're such a good dancer, Viv." He frowned, making me make a face at this, but he continued. "So...I guess it's good you'll be gone Saturday. I've made plans to go fishing with the guys from the reservation. The weather's supposed to be real warm. But if you wanted to put your trip off till someone could go with you, I'd stay home. I know I leave you here alone too much."
"Dad, you're doing a great job." I smiled, hoping my relief wasn't too obvious. "I've never minded being alone - I have too much of your genetics." I winked at him and he smiled his crinkly-eyed smile.
Mission successful.
I slept better that night, luckily without any dreams. I was more than happy to see that the sky was pearl gray , without a hint of bright sunlight, and I was even more happy that my tension from seeing Billy had seemed to dissipate. It was time to put that little episode behind me and focus on the more important things, like school.
Yeah, cause that's what I was really excited for.
"You're cheerful this morning," Charlie commented suspiciously over breakfast. I shrugged.
"It's a Friday." I lied, hoping my brightness overwhelmed the sound of the lie. It didn't.
"Is that it?" He asked suspiciously. I nodded, shoving some cereal in my mouth.
"Yup. Got a text from Arie about how she's failing French without me, too."
"That's no reason to smile," but he was smirking too as he set down his newspaper.
"I responded in French saying that we should talk like this so she starts catching on again, but she didn't understand it. Guess she was being honest." He just smiled and said his goodbyes, in french just to appease me. I was feverishly getting ready by this point, making sure that every hair on my head was as well placed as it could be, that I smelled as well as I could, that my shirt was unwrinkled. After Charlie had left I rushed to the door to see if he was out of sight, but Edward was faster. He was already waiting in his Volvo, windows down and engine off. His timing was impeccable and unnervingly wonderful.
I was giddy as I climbed into the passenger seat, wondering what he would blame my excitement on. Hopefully he would assume that it was because of a Friday as well, but when he grinned that crooked smile, the flutter of my heart must have told him otherwise.
"Bon nuit?" he asked in French with a smirk, his voice melted like honey.
"Oui, merci monseiur. Was your night a good one?" I asked him, not wanting to push my French limits with him. It was almost exciting to not know how well he did speak it.
"It was pleasant." His smile was amused and I knew that I was missing out on something. I cocked my head to the side warily.
"May I ask what you did?" I asked suspiciously, he shook his head.
"No." He grinned widely. "Today is still mine."
"How?" I whined, still confused by his interest in my personal life. But today I realized that his pattern was more along the lines of the people in my life, rather than the life that housed them. He seemed very interested in my mother and why we seemed to butt heads so much. He was very interested in all my friends and continually wanted me to reintroduce Arie into the conversation. Like yesterday, this pattern continued in between classes and in line again at lunch.
"So, why did you break up with Asher then?" I blushed automatically as we made our way with my food back to our isolated little table.
"Well, it kind of went downhill as soon as he told me he loved me..." I muttered with a blush. "I don't like that word."
His lips pressed into a thoughtful line as he watched my cheeks burn. "Don't you?"
"No?" I basically asked. "I think it's because it's so overused. No, not even that - it's abused. It's like when Jessica says 'love you' to me on the phone or when little eleven year olds say it to a boyfriend of a month...it doesn't have a lot of meaning anymore. Or a lot of proof."
"Are you insinuating that you don't believe it because you've never seen love before?"
"I didn't say that." I blushed. "I've seen it once or twice. I just don't think it's that...common?" I shook my head, knowing immediately that it was the wrong word choice. He nodded, his head, looking away from me.
"It's not that easy?" he offered.
"Exactly." I took a bite of my buttered cheese bagel and after I was done chewing I smiled at him. "How aren't you sick of my blabbering? I don't have a voice made of honey."
"You think my voice sounds like honey?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Well...velvet and honey." I corrected, ripping off another piece of bagel with my fingers.
"That hardly seems audible."
"Even less tangible, so don't worry about it." I mocked. He smiled and we lapsed into a small silence; he must have known that I would be more than happy to skip a meal to talk to him about anything that could possibly keep him near me for another long moment like this, because he let me eat. When I had finished my bagel and was well into a green apple, he sighed.
"I should have let you drive yourself today," it came out of nowhere and I furrowed my eyebrows together.
"Why?"
"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch." I blinked many times as the information registered itself into my mind. My hopes fell.
"Oh." It took me a second to realize how obviously disappointed I was - I didn't want him to feel bad or like he constantly had to be around the clingy girl. "Oh, it's fine. It's not a long walk - I have my iPod."
"I'm not going to make you walk home." He frowned. "We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you." I nodded slowly before I realized what that would mean.
"I don't have the key with me so it's fine. I really don't mind walking - I used to walk everywhere before some vampire decided to baby me." I said pointedly, he chuckled.
"Well your stroller will be here, the key will be in the ignition - unless you're afraid someone may steal it?" I gasped, dripping with taunt.
"You wait - it will be the rage of the town once I get the time to paint it." I was pretty sure that my key was in my jeans from the last time I had driven it, two days before. Somewhere in the laundry room - not a safe place for it, but it was too late now. He wouldn't be able to find it and I would win this little battle of wits.
"So, where are you off to on this dreary Friday afternoon?" I asked, trying to remain more charming than desperate for the information.
"Hunting," he answered grimly. "If I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow, I'm going to take whatever precautions I can." His face grew morose and to my horror, somewhat desperate as his eyes penetrated me. "You could always cancel, you know"
I looked away from his eyes, not wanting them to work their magic. There was no way I was canceling this...this - well, whatever tomorrow was. It didn't matter what precautions he needed to take. He would take them and life would continue on...with him in it.
"Nope." I turned my eyes on him, hoping he would understand the strength behind my words. "I can't."
"Perhaps you're right." the fact was bleak to the two of us as we realized that we both wanted to face the risks just so that we could be together. It made me have to fight off a smile, it made his eyes darken as I watched them.
"What time will I see you tomorrow?" I said quickly, trying to set this in stone before he changed his mind with one of his almighty mood swings.
"That depends...it's a Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?" I almost groaned inwardly. Yes, I wanted to sleep in! The sleep I had been getting lately was not at all satisfying and though right now I was fine, I knew that as soon as Edward was out of my sight, the exhaustion would kick back in and the dream would be over - I would be a sleep-walker once again.
But, on the other hand, I wanted to see him for as long as possible.
"No." I said weakly. He restrained a smile.
"Well, for your sake, how about I meet you a little later? Instead of eight, how about I come retrieve you at nine? Will Charlie be there?" An hour wasn't a bad difference, at all! More sleep, more concentration, more time to be enamoured and completely submissive to all things girly and embarrassing. I smiled.
"No, he's fishing tomorrow." Even I was amazed that it was almost so convenient. Almost too convenient.
"And if you don't come back tomorrow, what will he think?" His voice was sharp and I was shocked by it.
"No clue." I said shortly, suddenly defensive. "He may think that the troll who lives under the bridge finally grabbed me now that he's had his fill of billy-goats."
We scowled at each other for a long moment but sadly he was much better with continually showing his displeasure. I was instantly aware of how pouty and whiny I must have looked and how unattractive he must have thought me - especially in comparison to he and his family.
"What are you hunting tonight?" I asked, trying to change the subject from glare to information that may have been somewhat interesting.
"Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far." He seemed bemused by my interest and suave twist of conversation. It made me grow in confidence.
"Why are you going with Alice?"
"Alice is the most...supportive." He frowned, I furrowed my eyebrows. I had never seen Alice so much as look at me.
"So the others hate me?" I asked lowly. He pouted and shook his head.
"They are just incredulous, for the most part." I couldn't help myself as I peeked over my shoulder towards his family. Stupid me even tried to be sly about it, but I knew that if they were looking it would have been very obvious as to what I was doing. But they were staring in different directions, none towards me - but now there were only four because the bronze haired angel was sat with little, insignificant me.
"They hate me." I confirmed for myself with a nod. And I could see why. I was breaking their little walls they had built up to hide what they were and keep loyal to the 'family'.
"That's not it," he disagreed, but his eyes were too innocent. "They don't understand why I can't leave you alone."
"Nor do I." It was drawn out and in disbelief. "We're definitely on different levels of humanity."
"Humanity." He repeated with a snort and an eye roll. "I told you - you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me."
"Don't tease me. It frazzes out my emotions." I mumbled, smoothing out my napkin on the table with both hands, just so I wouldn't have to look at him.
"I am not. Having the advantages I do," I looked up to see him touching his forehead, "I have a better than average gasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you...you never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise." I blushed - somehow, I took that as a compliment. "That part is easy enough to explain, but there's more...and it's not so easy to put into words -"
I was back to staring at the Cullens intermittently during his story, because I couldn't dare look at him. It was too humiliating. But I regretted it the instant that Rosalie, his blonde and breathtaking sister, turned to look at me. And it wasn't just a simple look or acknowledgment that she knew I was watching them - it was a glare. A glare with dark, cold eyes that let me know that she didn't just need looks to kill. She would do it with any weapon she could get her hands on - in fact, she'd probably use her hands. She glared at me until Edward broke off mid-sentence with an angry noise, almost like a hiss, under his breath.
Rosalie turned her head at once and I felt like I was no longer paralyzed by fear. I looked back at Edward - suddenly realizing that he was my safe option and from the tight look on his face as he tried to calm me, I briefly forgot why I hadn't been looking at him the entire time.
"Don't worry about that. She's just worried. You see...it's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly..."
"If you kill me." I finished. His eyes smoldered as he looked up at me.
"If this ends badly." He corrected. He dropped his head into his hands as he had that night in Port Angeles, plainly in anguish. I wanted to comfort him but didn't know how, I knew he wouldn't want me touching him and I knew that he knew it was all I wanted to do. That he didn't touch me was a sure sign that I should do the same, but instead all I could do was sympathize with his pain.
And just as I was starting to realize that the conversation was a terrifying one, you know - the possibility of my impending death, and all - the frustration kicked in. The frustration that Rosalie had interrupted whatever he had been about to say. Maybe he would have tried to put it into words - but now I wouldn't know and it wasn't something you could just bring up at any jolly ol' time.
"You have to leave now?"
"Yes." He raised his face, it was serious for a moment before the mood shifted again, drastically as it always did, and he smiled. "It's probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology - I don't think I could take any more on stem cells."
Oh. That's what it had been about. To be honest, I hadn't been able to pay attention to any of it. Not with Edward sitting so close.
I was pulled out of my reverie as I realized Alice - the short one with a halo of spiky hair around an elfin face - was standing directly behind Edward. When she had gotten there, I had no clue.
"Alice." He greeted without looking away from me.
"Edward." She answered without smiling, her soprano voice was almost as beautiful as his. Like little bells. I bet that's what Tinkerbell sounded like when she whispered in Peter Pan's ear...it was thoughts like those which made me glad I was immune to Edward's abilities.
"Alice, Vivienne - Vivienne, Alice." He introduced us, gesturing casually with his hand, a wry smile on his face. I smiled back, but was slightly shocked. Obviously she was more supportive about our little...friendship, because no one had dared look at me without glaring and here she was smiling at me.
"Hello Liv," I was momentarily stunned that she knew me by that name, but not surprised. "It's nice to finally meet you."
Edward shot her a dark look.
"Bonjour," I mumbled shyly. She turned to Edward with an excited gleam in her eyes and there was a quick moment where they shared a look, obviously an entire conversations worth of meanings behind it. Meanings that I didn't understand.
"Are you ready?" She finally asked him.
"Nearly." His voice was aloof. "I'll meet you at the car."
She left without another word. She had a dancers walk, something I wished I had considering I had taken it for so long - but no. I was not so blessed. I turned away, biting my lip trying to hold in my jealousy.
"Should I say 'have fun' or is that the wrong sentiment?" I asked, turning back to him with a grin.
"No, it works as well as anything." He grinned back. I giggled, it was more of a chuckle, but more feminine and not at all as jolly or wholesome as his were. So I deem it a giggle.
"Have fun, then."
"I'll try." He still grinned but his eyes had turned serious. "And you try to be safe, please."
"Safe in Forks - A challenge of the Gods."
"For you it is. Promise."
I held out my pinky but quickly remembered he didn't want me touching him, so I morphed it into a Scouts promise. "I promise to try and be safe. I'll do laundry. Hopefully that is perilous enough to sate my cravings for adventure."
"Don't fall in," he mocked.
"I am a bit bigger than the trolls who steal the socks. I should survive." When he stood I found myself doing the same and heaving a sigh. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?" he mused, adding on that crooked smile. I nodded grimly. "You'll see me in the morning."
He reached across the table and touched my face, lightly brushing his fingers against my cheekbone again and I got shivers - not only from the temperature of his skin. He lingered there a moment, his eyes watching my skin with some emotion he wouldn't let me read before he turned on his heel and walked away. I stared hopelessly after him until I could no longer see him.
The rest of the day all I wanted to do was ditch out of classes, or at the very least gym - but a warning instinct stopped me. If I just up and disappeared, everyone would assume I'd be with Edward - and since he was already worried about what would happen to his family if something went wrong, I didn't want to give them any more fuel.
It was an instinct that I knew, as I am sure he did, that tomorrow would be a pivotal moment in our relationship - or lack there of. It couldn't continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife. Or fang, if he even had them. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending on his instincts and decision...because my decision was made. He had made it for me the minute he decided to smile in my direction - whether it was conscious or not. There was nothing more terrifying than the thought of turning away from him. It was impossible. He would be the one to break me, for it could never be the other way around.
God, I'm so gross now!
I walked into my classes in a huff, upset with my apparent new romanticism. Biology passed in an upsetting blur of fantasies. By the time Gym cam around, Mike was speaking to me and wishing me a good time in Seattle. I was careful when I explained that I had canceled my trip, I was worried about my truck. I didn't want him worrying and talking to Charlie about it, so it was a fast change of track.
"Are you going to the dance with Cullen?" he asked, sulky and suspicious all at once. I widened my eyes, the idea had fluttered through my mind many times but that was not the plan. Or close.
"No, I told you I'm not going to the dance, Mike." I may have sounded harsh, but I couldn't help it. Not only was he being presumptuous, he was being rude and clingy.
"Oh. What are you doing, then?" I hid back the urge to tell him to screw of.
"Might do some studying for that trig test I'm going to fail. I don't really know what tomorrow will have in store for me. I'll probably just concentrate on that test." His face was laced with suspicion, his eyes narrowed.
"Is Cullen helping you study?"
"Edward," I emphasized as I lost my temper, "is not helping me study for a test in a class he doesn't even have. He left at lunch to start the weekend." It was an easy lie because it wasn't actually a lie, just worded differently. I was getting shamefully better at this.
"Oh. You know, you could come to the dance with our group anyway - that would be cool. We'd all dance with you," he promised, almost too sincerely. I winced at the mental image of Jessica's face.
"I'm not going to the dance, Mike."
"Fine." He sulked again. "I was just offering."
"Liar." I whispered to his turned back. I didn't know whether he heard me. When the school day ended, I was unexcited to walk home but not willing to ask anyone for a ride. I didn't want it to come around to Mike and have him drive me, but Edward couldn't have found my key. Then again, I was starting to believe that nothing was impossible for Edward Cullen. And of course, I was right.
My truck sat in the same place he had parked the Volvo that morning. With a shaking head, I found my way towards my car and saw the key in the ignition. "Unbelievable." I whispered to myself. As I began climbing in, I saw a piece of white, folded paper on my seat. I got in and closed the door before I unfolded it. Two words were written in his fine calligraphy:
Be safe.
I was almost frightened by the sound of my own vehicle - it hadn't been that long since I had driven it, but the sound was so different from the purr of the Volvo that suddenly it barely felt like my vehicle until I started getting into the groove about half way through the ride. I liked my slower speeds and more jerky stops. I liked the rattle of the engine and the shutter every time I took off from first gear. It was familiar and still a part of me that hadn't been lost to the glamour of the Cullens.
When I got home, I called Jessica on the same instinct I had followed with Mike. I wished her luck at the dance with Mike while telling her about the cancellation to Seattle with Edward, but not telling her Edward would be joining me on an adventure he was planning. She was more disappointed than necessary for a third-party perspective and after not wanting to lie anymore, I said my goodbyes quickly.
Charlie was absentminded at dinner, worried over something at work or possibly the current baseball game I could hear in the living room. Maybe he was really enjoying the lasagne - both of our favourites. I hoped it wasn't too obvious I was trying to hide something and butter him up all at once.
"You know, Dad..." I began slowly, bringing his attention to me. If only he were less attentive.
"What's that, Liv?"
"I've been thinking - you're probably right about Seattle. I was thinking I'd just wait until someone wants to join in." He was surprised and concerned all at once. I immediately felt guilty.
"Oh, okay. So, do you want me to stay home?" He didn't understand the father figure he was supposed to be at this point any more than I did, but I knew that it was unnecessary.
"No, Dad, don't blow off fishing. I've got tons of things to do...homework, laundry...I need to go to the library and a grocery store. I'll be in and out all day so you should just go and have fun for the both of us."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. Besides, the freezer is getting dangerously low on fish - we're down to two, maybe three years supply. That just will not due in the case of a Nuclear Holocaust."
He smiled widely. "You sure are easy to live with, Vivienne."
I noticed that my name didn't sound the same in his mouth as it did in Edward's. I laughed awkwardly, but it wasn't real. Luckily, he was distracted again and didn't mention it. I felt so guilty I almost told him where I really would be - but I couldn't do that to Edward, so I busied myself with dishes instead.
After dinner, I began on the laundry that I said I would do tomorrow just so that it would be done. Charlie didn't seem to notice the gentle thumps of the drier or the beeping every time the wash was finished. He kept to his thoughts and I kept to mine - all about tomorrow. Anticipation so intense that I was nearly in pain that would then range to a nervousness that ate at the pit of my stomach. I now knew he was dangerous - but I still felt less safe now that I knew he wasn't around. Now that he was off hunting who knew where. I felt somewhat vulnerable now, like I had since I had come to Forks where everything seemed to be about him. Because life was about him now.
He cared about me somehow - I could tell by the fact he had yet to kill me and the fact the note which weighed heavily in my thoughts told me to be safe. He did care about my safety which means there was some part of him that cared about me like he said he did. There was a smaller part of me worried that if things did end badly, he cared enough to make it as painless as possible...
No. Would not happen.
I sent myself to bed early that night, just because my thoughts seemed to be spiraling out of control and I didn't want to psych myself out for tomorrow before tomorrow even came. By ten o'clock on the Friday night I was safely in bed, but I knew I was too stressed to sleep. I put my thunderstorm sounds on full blast so that it was a cacophony of sound as I cuddled my stuffed animal - which I hadn't needed since my first night here.
His name was Mr. Burford Bearkins and he used to wear a top hat until the stitches came out. He was too plush to imagine and he was my comfort. Comfort enough that even in this time of my life he would help me go to sleep and stay out cold.
With everything ready for the morning, I lay in bed. I felt hyper and couldn't stop twitching until I had Mr. Bearkins in my arms, listening to the sound of thunderstorms raging and reverberating off the walls in my room - I was glad to escape the violent atmosphere of excitement and into my own subconscious.
I hadn't had dreams I could remember when I woke up and was upset to see that I had slept in. I had meant to get up at eight so that I had a full hour before he would be in the driveway, but it was now eight-thirty and I was panicking.
I barely had time to notice that the clouds looked like they would break away to reveal blue sky, or the fact the clock was ticking faster than normal. I ate some granola bars as breakfast while I got things ready - clothes in the bathroom, hot water running, toothbrush with toothpaste for faster results.
I jumped in the shower and nearly forgot to wash out my conditioner, it was a miracle that I came out as quickly as I did but there were casualties of me having to turn the water back on because though I shaved my legs, I hadn't remembered to shave my left underarm.
I dressed quickly and swore in French the entire time I towel dried my hair, upset that I didn't have time to make myself look more beautiful for him and upset that I wouldn't look beautiful enough to pass as his ugly friend. I brushed my teeth and got dressed - jeans, a long sleeved white shirt and an aqua sweater. I was just slipping into my socks when I heard a soft knock at the door. I stopped jumping around, knowing he could probably hear it and muttering under my breath when I realized the damage had been done - the Vampire had probably been listening.
I tried to calm my own heart rate as I flew to the door, trying not to mess up opening it. When I did get it open, he stood there with his beautiful face. My agitation dissolved and was replaced with relief - how could I have worried about my safety in his hands?
He wasn't smiling at first - his face was somber. But his expression lightened when he saw me and I thought it was sweet until he laughed.
"Good morning." His chuckle was infectious and immediately made me self conscious.
"I look like a drowned rat, don't I?" I asked worriedly. "I woke up late - you shouldn't have let me sleep in, I would have slept until eleven and I forgot to set an alarm so I c-"
"I'm not laughing because of that," he smiled, trying to am me down. "We match."
I blinked, the statement had not made sense in my mind. I looked at him taking in his blue jeans, his white long sleeved shirt and his turquoise zip-up. Most people would be cold, but not Edward. I laughed with him, trying to hide my displeasure at how he made his look like Calvin Klein...actually, they probably were...while mine looked Wal-mart based.
I locked the door behind me while he walked over to the truck. He looked like a martyr as he stood by the passenger side door, watching me with a blank expression.
"We made a deal." I reminded him with a smirk, climbing into the drivers seat. He scoffed when I had to reach across to unlock his door for him. "Where to?"
"Put your seatbelt on," he mumbled with a pout. "I'm nervous already."
I gave him a dirty look as I did what he asked.
"Where to?" I repeated with an eye-roll.
"Take the one-oh-one north," he ordered me. It was surprisingly difficult to concentrate on the road while feeling his gaze on my face. I thought about mentioning this to him but knew that he would make me pull over and drive himself - and I remember what Jacob said. Do not take it over sixty. Knowing Edward, he would double it.
"Were you planning to make it out of Forks before nightfall?" Edward asked with a quirk of his eyebrow. I glared.
"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather - show some respect."
"I'm old enough to be your truck's grandfather. So I pose the question again..." I kept my eyes on the road even though my curiosity spiked again. He did not make a move to say anything more, so I did not pressure, knowing that today was one of those days I didn't want to push his buttons. We were soon out of the town limits, despite his negativity. Thick underbrush and green-swathed trunks replaced the lawns and houses.
"Turn right on the one-ten," he instructed just as I was about to ask. I obeyed silently. "Now we drive until the pavement ends."
There was a smile in his voice that made me nervous, but I didn't dare look because my truck wasn't doing well against the gravel-like-pavement.
"What's there?" I asked, more to myself then to him. Surprisingly, he answered.
"A trail."
"We're hiking?" I asked with a strained voice. He smirked at me.
"Is that a problem?" He sounded as if he had expected this to be a direct problem, which made me more defiant.
"Not at all." The confidence did not outweigh the lie and he chuckled. I just don't think he realized how annoyed he would be if he thought my truck was slow verses how slow I would be if we were to walk - not even walk, hike. I loved nature and I loved hiking...I did not love embarrassing myself.
"Don't worry, it's only five miles or so and we're in no hurry."
Five miles. No, not a problem at all...HA. I could imagine all the things I had to beware of. Animals, bear traps, loose stones, twisted ankles, tree roots, humiliation...
"What are you thinking?" he asked impatiently after a few moments.
"Just about where we're going." Not quite a lie.
"It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice." I looked out the window at the thinning clouds and felt my stomach flutter in anticipation.
"I think I remember Charlie saying that it would be nice."
"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?" he asked. I made a noise at the back of my throat, ready for the hurricane.
"Nope."
"But Jessica thinks we're going to Seattle together?" he seemed cheered by the confirmation - the confirmation I could no longer give him.
"Actually, I said you kinda canceled on me - which is true, if you think about it."
"No one knows you're with me?" And there was the anger. I winced.
"Well, I assume you told Alice?" I offered. "So yes, someone knows."
"That's very helpful, Vivienne." He hissed. I bit my lip and pretended I had heard nothing. "Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" he demanded after I had ignored him. I flushed red.
"You said it might cause trouble for you...us being together publicly."
"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me - if you don't come home?" His sarcasm was only one sign of his mounting anger and I found that I had to keep my eyes on the road as they started to water. I didn't want him to be angry with me - I really had done it for his own good. Just in case. I didn't want him to get in trouble with his family just because he followed his instinct - which I know he wouldn't do anyway. He would never allow himself.
He spoke something that I didn't understand - I couldn't even tell if it was English. The waves of disapproval swept over me from the passengers seat and I couldn't think of anything to say to comfort either one of us. He was angry, I was guilty. That's all there was to it.
Then the road ended, constricting into a thin foot trail with a small wooden marker. I parked on the narrow shoulder and stepped out, afraid he was angry and looking down at my tennis shoes so that I wouldn't have to look in the cab of my truck. It was now warm and I didn't have to think as I pulled my aqua sweater over my head and tied it around my waist. I was glad that I had worn the white shirt underneath and knew that during the walk I would even need to push up the sleeves.
I heard his door slam and peeked through my hair to see that he had also taken off his sweater and was facing the forest in front of the truck, with his back toward me. He had done the super-fast thing to be so far in front of me.
"This way." he looked back at me, his eyes still perfectly annoyed as he walked it the dark forest.
"What about the trail?" Panic was clear in my voice as I hurried around the truck to catch up. He did not look at me.
"I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it."
"No trail? No level-ish ground without death traps around each bend?"
"I won't let you get lost." He turned then with a mocking smile and I was so happy that I beamed at him. He wasn't angry anymore - or at least, he wasn't going to let it ruin the day. I tried not to marvel at the beauty that was him - the sleeveless white shirt that was unbuttoned and blended startlingly into his skin. The marble contours of his chest were chiseled into the shirt and I sighed, knowing that the shirt was hiding the body of Adonis. He was too perfect, I realized with a stab of despair. There was no way someone like him could fall for a mortal like me.
He stared at me, bewildered by my tortured expression.
"Do you want to go home?" he asked quietly, a different pain than mine saturating his voice.
"No." I said quickly. "That's not it at all." I stumbled forward at a faster pace than I was used to so that I was close beside him, not wanting to waste a second of what little time we would have together.
"Then what's wrong?" his voice was so gentle that I wanted to tell him, but didn't want to risk him scoffing me.
"I'm not a good hiker. You're going to get annoyed." That wasn't a lie. He smiled, holding my glance, trying to lift me out of my sudden, unexplained dejection.
"I can be patient - if I make a great effort."
I tried to smile back, but it was clear that I wasn't doing my job properly. He scrutinized me thoroughly before shaking his head.
"I'll take you home." I knew he thought it was fear that was upsetting me and was grateful again that I was the one person who's thoughts he couldn't hear. I decided to give him a little insight.
"If you knew what I was really thinking, rather than assuming, you'd just laugh at me." He furrowed his brow at my words. "If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle that is Washington before the weekend is through, you'd best go first. You know what they say - it's all in the leading."
He smiled slightly at my use of words that had already been used by the two of us about dancing, but it was strained. He now had no idea why I was so upset. He gave up soon, maybe because he was also anxious as he led the way into the forest.
It wasn't as hard as I had feared. The way was mostly flat and he held all intrusive branches and thistles to the side to protect me. When his straight path took us over fallen trees or boulders, he would help me with a hand on the small of my back and a hand on my elbow - but release me as soon as I was firmly planted. His cold touch on my skin never failed to make my heart flutter and once or twice I could tell by the look of shock on his face that he may have somehow heard it.
I tried to keep my eyes away from his face as much as possible, but I slipped often. Enough that he would come to the rescue and keep his perfect face in view constantly as he held me up and sent my heart fluttering more. He was depressingly perfect.
For the most part, we walked in silence. Occasionally he would ask random questions he hadn't gotten to in the past two days of interrogation. He asked about my birthdays, grade school teachers, childhood fish - I admitted to my abnormal love for animals and how sad I had been to leave my two year old puppy and thirteen year old cat back in Phoenix. I also admitted to killing many-a-fish because I often forgot they were there. He laughed at the last part, a loud laugh that I hadn't heard. It echoed through the trees and made me shiver.
The hike took me most of the morning, but he never showed any sign of impatience. Just when I thought he was going to, he would ask another question so I determined it was his way of keeping himself calm. The forest spread out around us in a boundless labyrinth of ancient trees, and I began to be nervous that we would never find our way out again. He was perfectly at ease, comfortable in the green maze, never seeming to feel any doubt about our direction.
After several hours, the light had filtered through the canopy transformed, the murky olive tone shifting into a bright jade. The day had turned sunny, just as he had told me it would be. For the first time since we had entered the woods, I felt the excitement return, which quickly turned to impatience.
"Are we there yet?" I teased, pretending to scowl.
"Nearly." He smiled wide when he saw my change in mood. "Do you see the brightness ahead?"
No. "...Should I?"
He smirked. "Maybe it's a bit soon for your eyes."
"Don't tell me I'll need contacts. First girl in the family? No. I like my eyes too much to stick my fingers in them." His smirk grew more pronounced.
After another hundred yards, I could definitely see a lightening in the trees ahead, a glow that was yellow instead of green. I picked up the pace, my eagerness leading me forward faster than he seemed ready to go. He let me lead as he followed noiselessly - he seemed nervous.
I reached the edge of the pool of light and stepped through the last fringe of ferns into the loveliest place I had ever seen. The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers - violet, yellow, and soft creamy white. Somewhere nearby I could hear the bubbling music of a stream. The sun was directly overhead, filling the circle with a haze of buttery sunshine. I walked slowly, awestruck, through the soft grass and swaying flowers. The warm, gilded air made me start skipping around and touching the flowers in excitement - smelling them just to remember what real flowers brought to the world.
I turned, wanting to share this with him, wanting to explain to him about how much I loved places like this - something he wouldn't have been able to ask in a question and something I still probably couldn't answer to full extent. He wasn't where I thought he would be. I spun around, searching for him with sudden alarm, I may have even called his name.
Then I saw him, still under the dense shade of the canopy at the edge of the hollow, watching me through cautious eyes. Only then did I remember what the beauty of the meadow had driven from my mind - the enigma of Edward and the sun, which he promised to demonstrate. Today.
I took step back toward him, my eyes alight with curiosity. His eyes were wary, reluctant. I did what I thought natural, smiled encouragingly and held out my hand. I took another step toward him - he held his own hand up in warning. I hesitated, rocking back on my heels.
"I'm never going to be afraid of you." I said it in a breath, as if it were a secret all my own, but something told me he would hear. It was confirmed as I watched him take a deep breath, and then he stepped into the bright glow of the midday sun.
I hope you enjoyed it. I added a lot more Vivienne than Bella-ness in this chapter. How do you think Liv will react when she sees Edward in the sun for the first time? Let me know what you think :)
To my reviewers:
Angel of the Night Watchers: Yeah, I agree with you on the whole "bravery" vs "impulse" when it comes to Eclipses 'stabbing self' moment. I am positive I could have thought of a way out of that without hurting myself and bleeding in front of my singer, ha. And exactly, why is Bella so unable to accept that she is a human and all her friends are supernatural beings so yes - they are allowed to protect her when she's no match for the other supernatural beings ready to feast on her innards. And yes - Bella should have stopped being so selfish and just picked one. I understand that it may have been a little harder than 'eeny, meeny, miney, moh' but she didn't have to drag them both through the ringer while she was deciding. It was a good rant. Every time I hear that someone hates Bella all I can do is smile, because that's the way it should be. So I appreciated it. I'm also glad that your sister hates Bella too - all is right with the world.
Iavasgil: Thanks for sticking through and reading all the chapters, I remember when I used to read fanfiction how much it would suck to read an unfinished story and have to wait for the other chapters to come out. I'm really glad that you like Vivienne and the changes I am, and plan to, make when it comes to her character and this storyline. Thank you for reading and especially for taking the time to review, I hope you like whatever else I come up with :)
-Egypt