Jane and Edward: Monster and Zombie Hunters

Chapter 2

NOTE: I don't own the rights to the book; this is merely out of love for the story. Some historical facts were changed while writing this fanfic.

The Rochesters, Jane and Edward, appeared at the front door of the home of the Reverend St. John Rivers and his new bride, Cordelia. After St. John had wrote to them, complaining of a lone zombie stuck in his old horse stable, the husband and wife creature-killing duo paid a visit and since Jane was good friends with the reverend and his sisters, the two of them offered to dispatch the zombie pro bono. Jane and Edward were promptly greeted by St. John and his wife and welcomed them into their home for tea.

"This happened recently, has it not?" asked Edward, sipping his tea.

"Yes," replied Reverend Rivers. "We wrote to you as soon as we found the fellow trapped in the old stable. Thankfully, he doesn't appear to be strong enough to break out."

"Do you know where he came from or how he got here?"

"No. All I know is he probably locked himself inside the stable. There's a latch that locks from the inside and I'm unsure as to why someone would construct such a thing."

"Well, after tea, I guess we'd better go and investigate."

As the menfolk continued their conversation, Jane met with the reverend's new wife, Cordelia. A stunning beauty, she had strikingly beautiful brown hair and piercing blue eyes.

"Pleased to meet your acquaintance," said Jane, shaking hands.

"The pleasure is all mine," Cordelia said. "My husband has told me all about you. And I finally get to meet you."

"So where did you and St. John meet?"

"In India. My father was a missionary there and we met at a church service. He was a bit cold and distant at first but we became good friends and as he was about to return to England, he proposed! My father gave him his blessing and when we came back to England, we married soon after."

While Jane thought of St. John as a good friend, she shivered at the thought of being his wife. Still, Cordelia was handsome enough and the two of them appeared to be completely in love. "I'm very happy for you both," Jane said. "He's a better match for you than for me."

"Jane!" Edward exclaimed, interrupting her conversation with Cordelia.

"Yes dear?"

Edward tossed Jane her rifle. "Enough chit-chat my dear, let's get to work."

Everyone headed over to the old stable. Jane and Edward noticed that there was something in it as the door appeared as if something or someone was trying to ram it open. It was impossible for St. John and Cordelia to open the door for fear of being bitten or eaten by the trapped zombie. It was only a matter of time before the creature would break down the door and attack someone. Jane noticed a small hole in the stable wall, opposite of the door. It was small enough for her to place the barrel of her hunting rifle through. Staring down the sight, she could see the undead individual thrashing about the door. Her little finger pulled the trigger and with one shot, zombie brains had splattered all over the door to the stable. She then went around to the other side of the stable, opened the door and out plopped the recently deceased creature. Cordelia let out a cacophony of screaming and caterwauling as she ran back into the house. Edward covered his mouth to hide his laughter at the situation. Reverend Rivers stood in a state of shock, his mouth partially open.

"We'll clean it up," Edward said with a smile as he clapped the reverend on the back.

"Please do," said the reverend, still in a state of shock.

Jane and Edward came home late that evening and were much too tired to eat anything. After a bath to clean themselves of their "dirty" work, the two plopped into bed. While Edward snored away, Jane, as tired as she was, couldn't fall asleep. Instead, she lay in bed, face up at the ceiling, her hand on her four-months-pregnant belly. Killing zombies, vampires, and even a mummified dog was hard work and she feared for the safety of her unborn child. Jane wondered if she could take some time away from the business and let Edward take over for the next several months. She loved this child and wanted to see it live, and hopefully, take over the creature killing business once she and Edward decided to retire. After having several restless thoughts, she finally drifted off to sleep.

The next morning as Jane and Edward breakfasted, they received a rather particular letter, one with a rather unique seal on it. It was red and had what looked like an imprint in it.

"My goodness," said Jane upon looking at the letter. "This is the royal seal!" She looked it over. "Wonder what it could be about."

"It's probably a joke of some sort," Edward said with a mouthful of egg. "Give it to me." She handed Edward the letter. He opened it up and read its contents. Afterward, his eyes and mouth widened a bit. "This is definitely not a joke," he said. "This is from the Queen."

"What could Her Majesty want from us?" asked Jane.

"Well, apparently, they have a zombie problem and they are calling for our services."

Jane's eyes widened like saucers. "Now this is definitely a joke."

"No joke, Jane. Look at the letter." He gave it to her to read.

Jane skimmed through the note. "Apparently, their zombie problem started with a young man named Edward Oxford who had apparently been bitten by one of the undead and started going after the Queen and her consort during a procession. While Edward has promptly been disposed of, they fear that there might be more nearby."

"Well Jane, I just don't know if it's worth it. They don't mention how many zombies there are. We could be outnumbered. I wonder if they couldn't have taken care of this themselves."

"And in my condition, I'm not sure if I'm capable of taking on such a task. Last night before I fell asleep, I contemplated taking some time away from the business and leaving you in charge for awhile until our little one is old enough to be cared for by a nurse."

"And that would leave me to hire someone in your place. Someone who is not as competent as you are."

"I'm sure you could find someone who can handle a rifle."

"Handling a rifle is one thing. Handling a rifle in the face of the un-dead without fear or being squeamish is a totally different matter altogether and trust me, I've learned to deal with squeamishness. I haven't seen the rest of the letter yet; come Jane, hand it to me and see if they offer some sort of compensation for our time, labor, and travel."

Jane returned the letter to Edward and his eyes were wider than Jane's. "What the deuce!"

"How much?"

"About twice as much as Thornfield is worth. Look!"

Jane gasped at the amount of reward money offered. It would be enough to build another Thornfield and keep it running for a good while. "But do we really need the money?" she asked. "We have so much and we're living quite well."

"Only a woman would ask a question like that, Jane. The answer is 'no' but we're going to London anyway. We'll have our things packed and ready to go the first thing tomorrow morning. If you don't feel up to it, I can always find someone in London to help me out."

"But shouldn't we think about this first?"

"What's to think about, Jane? We'll be known as the 'zombie killers' of Thornfield! We'll get more business because we had rid the monarchy of the undead!"

"A while ago, you said that the monarchy was a pile of..."

"Forget what I said Jane! We're going to London tomorrow!"

Jane sighed. "All right."

The trip to London was very pleasant, save for some unwanted morning sickness for Jane. It was her first trip to the nation's capital and she had never seen so many people and so many things. Edward, on the other hand, had been there a few times and was familiar with the atmosphere. Jane had never seen so many shops or people aside from traveling in Paris and Rome. Men and women wearing the finest clothes were plenty. The carriage eventually stopped at the office of the Commissioner of Police of the Metropolis, halting Jane's sightseeing. Their belongings were to be put in their temporary lodgings separate from the office. Both Jane and Edward were to meet with the police commissioners, Lieutenant-Colonel Charles Rowan and Richard Mayne upon arrival.

"Hello, and welcome," said Mr. Rowan. "Thank you for arriving on such short notice."

"Yes," said Mr. Mayne. "It is much appreciated."

"You're quite welcome, Gentlemen," said Edward extending his hand. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am.."

"Mr. Edward Rochester, pleased to meet you," said Mr. Mayne in a low tone of voice, shaking Edward's hand. "And this must be your wife, Jane, I presume?"

"Yes, I am," said Jane with a faint smile.

"Well, it appears that you have had a previous spouse, Mr. Rochester," said Mr. Rowan, looking through some papers. "Apparently, her cause of death was suicide."

"We know," said Edward. "It was a bit nasty." He held up his handless arm.

"Let's not get too far into your records," said Mr. Mayne. "The real reason you are here is because a young man by the name of Edward Oxford tried to kill the queen. The young man appeared to be afflicted with the zombie illness and was seen wandering toward her carriage during a procession. Thankfully, the police were at hand to dispatch him. What worries us is that there might be more of these filthy creatures out there."

"Have you found any proof of that?" asked Jane.

"Not that I know of," said Mr. Rowan, fiddling with his cravat. "We feel that you would know more about this sort of phenomenon since this is your speciality."

"You see, they want us to do their dirty work for them, my dear," whispered Edward to Jane.

Jane shushed her husband. "Yes, Mr. Rowan. Where was Edward Oxford first seen?"

"He emerged from the crowd, going toward the royal carriage," said Mr. Mayne. "He seemed to come out of nowhere."

"The first time someone had seen him, he appeared to be leaving the Bethlem Royal Hospital. He was admitted there on suspicion of madness," said Mr. Rowan. "Unfortunately, the doctor treating him at the time was promptly bitten into by Edward Oxford himself and his brains have been sucked out. There is no way to obtain the information about how Mr. Oxford was bitten but..."

"Pardon the interruption," said Edward. "But we are here to kill zombies, not investigative police work."

"Pardon my husband for he has a short attention span," said Jane. "Do continue."

"Well," said Mr. Rowan. "If you need a place to find the source of the problem, the Bethlem Royal Hospital would be your best bet."

The next day, Jane and Edward visited the Bethlem Royal Hospital, known for housing those suffering from madness. Both of them felt uneasy being shown through the area full of patients who appeared to be out of their wits. Some cried. Some screamed profanities at each other. Parts of the hospital smelt of chamber pots and general filth. The staff that worked at the hospital treated the patients with general malcontent, which disturbed Jane. The treatment she received at the hands of Mrs. Reed and at Lowood were nothing compared to the abuse she had seen at Bethlem Royal. While she leafed through Mr. Oxford's records given to her by the hospital staff, Edward was frustrated with the whole thing.

"What the deuce, Jane? This is nothing more than a wild goose chase! Just because a zombie attacked the queen doesn't necessarily mean that the place is crawling with the undead! Hmm, come to think of it, I think I should've committed Bertha here a long time ago."

"Edward, let's not get into that. This is important," Jane said sternly. "Besides, it was your idea that we come here."

Edward said nothing but sulked.

Then Jane stumbled onto something significant. "Edward, I think I've found something!"

"Really?" asked a very bored Edward.

"Apparently, the doctor tried to inoculate him with what seems to be protection against the zombie disease and it backfired. His doctor was supposed to put him in the basement with all the other 'failed' experiments but he managed to eat the doctor's brains and escape."

"Well that's good news," said Edward.

Jane gave him a dirty look.

"I mean, in the sense that we have something to work with. Bad news for the doctor though."

"We need to find the basement to this hospital, Edward," said Jane. "If any of these individuals escape, the horror that it would cause would be indescribable."

While they were allowed access to Edward Oxford's medical records, Jane and Edward (Rochester, that is) were denied entry into the basement by the hospital staff. Luckily for the both of them, Jane had "borrowed" a map from the office of the hospital's director. The two of them made their way toward the basement, avoiding the watchful eyes of the doctors and the staff. The door to the basement had a lock on it and with no way of finding a key, Edward picked the lock with a hunting knife and was able to open the door. Nothing couldn't have prepared them for the sight that they were to behold.

Cages and cages of zombies were lined up into two rows with a walkway in the middle. All of the individuals were failed experiments in a zombie plague vaccine. Not knowing what to do with these creatures, the hospital staff had hoarded them in small areas similar to jail cells. The hissing, the moaning, and the stench were all deafening, even to Jane and Edward who had both built some a tolerance to those things. While Jane was taking mental notes of what to tell the police commissioners afterward, Edward was surveying the area and realizing that they couldn't just kill the zombies with their guns as there were more of them than bullets. Plus, using firearms would give away their position.

"Jane," said Edward. "We need to try another option than firepower. Gunshots are audible. Think, girl, think."

Jane did think and came up with an idea. "Edward, do you have any matches?"

Edward nodded and took a few out of his coat pocket and handed them to Jane. "What are you going to do with them?" he asked.

"Watch and find out." She found a jug of whiskey near the entrance and proceeded to pour it on the outside of the cells. She lit a match and the entire basement set on fire. "Edward, it's time for us to go."

The two of them left inconspicuously with Edward Oxford's medical records in tow. While no ammunition was wasted in this zombie killing, the hospital staff had a hard time trying to put out the flames. Jane and Edward turned in Mr. Oxford's medical records to the police commissioners as evidence. Those who weren't bitten by Mr. Oxford (or burned to death in the basement fire) but had a hand in allowing him to escape were promptly arrested. The Rochesters donated part of the reward money they received to build a better hospital that would provide better care for those with mental health issues. For their efforts, Jane and Edward became Lady Jane Rochester and Sir Edward Rochester by the Queen herself.

Back home, Jane and Edward were welcomed with a happy homecoming and a celebration feast put on by the community not only for their part in their zombie killing services for the royals but their new titles as Sir and Lady Rochester. After all the festivities, Jane spent part of the evening mending a blanket for the new baby and nearby, Edward relaxed in a warm bath.

"Jane my dear," he said as he sat back in the bathtub and put his arms behind his head in a relaxing position. "I feel good and strange at the same time."

"Why is that Edward?"

"It feels good to have the title of 'Sir' in one's name, but at the same time, it's strange. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet." He briefly slipped his head under the water and rose back up again, using his only hand to wipe the water from his face.

"Has it sunk in yet, Edward," Jane asked jokingly.

"A little," he said with a smile. "Now that I'm a bit relaxed, I think I'll retire for the evening. I'm clean enough."

"Let's get you dried off and dressed for bed, shall we?" Jane dried off her husband and helped him dress for bed, considering Edward had one hand and getting dressed is much easier with two hands. "Let's go get some sleep, love," said Jane with her arm around Edward's waist as they both headed to their bedroom.

"I originally wanted a wife and not a nursemaid," said Edward. "But I'm content to have both." He kissed her head and they both went to bed.