Dear Percy,

It's me! (That's Fred in case you didn't know!) Now, there's a lot I've got to tell you, so read closely. You're an idiot.

You gotta quit blaming yourself. I was - am - a big boy! I can tie my shoes, count to ten, and take care of myself. I'm not a living little kid anymore. Okay?

Another thing. Get a girl! Siriusly (yes, I used the pun), if you don't get a move on you'll be the only guy without kids (though I'm betting that position goes to Charlie). At this rate, you're gonna be worse than Ron, who took seven years to get Hermione.

Well, I'm glad you're back with the family. Prats are not a fun sort. Which is why I'm glad you can still joke. I thought all the fun got sucked outta you.

Fresh in the Dead,
Fred

Yeeeeeeeaaaaah!

Dear Fred,

I would ask 'how are you', but that seems a bit thick, seeing as you are dead. Also, couldn't you find more to put into a letter? Your spelling and all the pointless insertations are taking away from the contents of a letter. All of this proves that I am not the idiot. That title is yours and shall always be yours. Unless George has a child like you.

I do not blame myself that much. I know you have matured enough to take care of yourself, even if it isn't by much. After seeing your store and all the products you made, I feel I must congradulate you on your sucess. But I do ask, why didn't you put this to use with your OWLs?

Your use of puns and dead people (no offense intended) is horrible. That joke has been used too many times according to Mum and Dad. Just so you know, I am dating a wonderful girl named Audrey! Charlie has announced that he will never marry, due to the fact his dragons come first and foremost in life, right behind family. I am slightly regretful that Ronald finally started a relationship with Hermione. I can't walk into a single room without coming across them in the middle of snogging.

I am glad to be back with the family, though it would be much more joyful with you there.

Your brother,
Percival

Dear Percy the Prefect,

Just like you to give me a spelling lesson, isn't it? And just so you know, I enjoy being childish! It's more fun than being an old man! Thanks for the complients on the store, though. Tell that to George, he could use a boost of happiness. Sirius gave me permisson to use the joke! According to him, it never gets old. Tell George he owes me five Galleons and just because I'm dead doesn't mean he's out of paying! Also, let Ron know I'm not ready to be an uncle yet, though, that's kinda out of my hands with Bill and Fleur.

Fresh from the Dead,
Fred

Yeeeeeeaaaaah!

An:

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