Jane and Edward: Zombie and Monster Hunters
Chapter 5
The Alien Abduction of Adele Varens...and a groundskeeper
Note: I don't own the rights to the characters or the book; this is out of pure love for the story.
In a galaxy not too far away was a vehicle that appeared to be a spacecraft of some sort, headed for Earth. This spaceship had the resemblance of a barn in order to fool the humans on the planet Earth, making this alien invasion much easier. At the helm of the barn spaceship were two aliens from Mars; Zorog the smart one (well, some of the time anyway) and George, the idiot. Unfortunately, the two of them were in a heated argument, causing Zorog to stop paying attention to piloting the spaceship.
"But, but Zorog!" cried George. "I wanna go to Italy! I haven't had spaghetti in ages!"
"We'll go wherever I'M driving, George!" snapped Zorog. "Besides, I'm flying this thing and you're not."
"Please!"
"NO!"
Immediately, the barn-like spaceship crash landed in the dead of night into a field in an English countryside. Other than some scratches, the spaceship seemed in pretty good condition. After their landing, Zorog really let George have it.
"Now look what you made me do! We were well on our way to Canada and then you had to butt in..."
George was shaking and apologetic. "I'm sorry Zorog, I just wanted to get spaghetti."
"It's all right. Let's get this thing started so we can get back on route to Canada unless we can find some decent souls to steal right here. Wait, what's that?" Zorog grabbed his spyglass and looked out of the window from the spaceship to find a groundskeeper with a lantern stumbling about in the dark.
"Let's get him!" George said, hopping up and down, his weight causing the floor of the helm to shake.
"Stop it, George. Stop jumping!" cried Zorog. "He'll see us."
The elderly groundskeeper was clad in a nightshirt, cap, and slippers, clutching a lantern with one hand and holding a rifle with another. He had heard a large sound outside and at the request of his employer, he set out to investigate. He nearly slipped in the dewy grass as he made his way to what seemed to be a large barn. He had never seen this barn before and figured that he was either still dreaming or he had consumed one glass of wine too many last night. Still, he trudged on and saw the barn door open, with a ray of light beaming out of it. The groundskeeper made his way inside the barn and the door promptly shut behind him, locking him inside.
The next morning in the Rochester household, Edward was feeling lethargic as he sipped his coffee and read the morning paper at the breakfast table. One of his servants was sent to investigate a large noise outside of Thornfield and apparently never came back, causing him to stay up all night waiting for him. Sitting opposite of him was his wife Jane with their one-year-old son Henry on her lap. Sitting next to her was Adele Varens, Edward's former ward and now newly adopted daughter. After a bad experience at school, he requested that Adele be sent to another school nearby his home and decided to adopt her, despite his doubts about himself as her paternal father.
"Mr. Roberts was an excellent groundskeeper," sighed Edward. "I've known that man all my life. I'm just worried that something may have happened to him. I've sent my other employees to find him but they came up with nothing."
Jane said nothing but put her hand on her husband's and patted it.
"I'm sure they'll find him soon, Papa," said Adele with a slight French accent. Her schooling helped improve her English-speaking ability.
"I hope so," Edward said quietly.
"Papa," said little Henry, his arms reaching out.
"Papa doesn't feel well right now, love," said Jane. Let's go see Miss Allred, shall we?" Jane escorted him to his nanny, Miss Allred, whose younger sister Louisa was allowed to stay with the Rochesters during school holidays and was good friends with Adele.
"I'm finished eating breakfast," said Adele. "May I go outside with Louisa?"
"You may," said Edward. "And please be careful. I don't want anything happening to you."
"Thank you Papa." She ran outside to join Louisa and their chaperone (and Grace Poole's replacement), Miss Rebecca Walsh, while Edward sat moping at the breakfast table. Jane returned to join her husband after she gave Henry over to his nanny. Edward stared at his plate, his eggs remained untouched and uneaten. Jane then went behind him and wrapped her arms around him. Edward patted her arm with his remaining hand.
"I pray to God that we find him alive," said Edward.
Fortunately, Mr. Roberts, the groundskeeper, was alive and well. Unfortunately, his hands were tied behind his back and he was held prisoner by the aliens who had crash landed on Mr. Rochester's property the night before. Interrogations by Zorog and George were less than fruitful.
"So you're saying that your leader is a woman?" asked Zorog.
"Yes," said the groundskeeper. "Her name is Victoria. She is the queen of England."
"Where is she? Can you take me to her?"
"Oh, I know, I know!" said George, raising his hand and jumping up and down. "She's from Mercury, right?"
"Shut up, you imbecile! I was talking to our captive! Besides, the whole ship shakes every time you jump up and down."
"Sorry, Zorog."
"Her palace is in London and that's at least 60 miles away from here," said Mr. Roberts. "Now can you please let me go?"
"I'm afraid I can't," said Zorog. "You know too much about us now."
"I promise I won't tell a soul, sir."
"I wish I could take your word for it but I can't. George, send him back into his cell."
As George escorted Mr. Roberts back to his "prison" cell, Zorog breathed a sigh of confidence. He now had one human in his possession and once he captured enough, he would head back to Mars to use said humans as slave labor. He went to his chair at the helm of the spaceship and reclined, his arms behind his head. Just as he was about to take a midday nap, something caught his grossly large eye. A young girl, about twelve or thirteen years of age was running through the grass. She appeared to be eluding another young girl of the same age in some sort of children's game. He eyed the young girl as she appeared to be nearing the front door to the spaceship. Immediately, he opened the door to the ship, and overhearing her run inside, saying, "they'll never find me here." Zorog then slammed the door shut and locked it. The girl turned behind her and ran toward the door, pounding on it and trying to yank it open, to no avail. Zorog then made his way to the bottom floor of the spaceship and to meet his newest victim.
"What have we here," he said slyly, looking at the frightened girl. "Who are you?"
"Adele. Adele Varens. Please let me go! I want to be with my parents."
"Well, that's nice to know. Tell me, who are your parents?"
"Well, they're not my real parents," Adele said, stammering with fear. "They've ad-ad-adopted me."
"What happened to your real parents?"
"I don't know what happened to my real father but my real mother died."
"Interesting." Zorog stood with his scaly arms folded, his free hand stroking his chin. "George, take her away!" he called to his incompetent assistant.
"All right!" George said enthusiastically as he lumbered toward Adele who screamed when she first caught sight of him. After a brief struggle, he picked her up, kicking and screaming, and escorted her to a cell. "Don't worry," he said reassuringly. "We have lots of food here so you won't starve." Zorog slapped his face in frustration and shook his head.
Miss Rebecca Walsh and Louisa Allred ran frantically into the Rochester household, the former worried that her job might be at stake for losing Adele. The three of them were playing hide-and-seek when Adele ran off and seemingly disappeared and they spent a good hour looking for her. They met Edward in the living room with his wife Jane who was busy with some needlework. Edward noticed that the both of them looked scared and nervous.
"I didn't mean to lose her," Miss Walsh said nervously. "I-I-I was keeping my eye on her the whole time and she just ran off and..."
"Wait a minute," said Edward. "Miss Walsh, Louisa sit down please," he said, gesturing toward a small sofa. "Now tell us what happened."
"Well," said Miss Walsh. "Myself, Louisa, and Adele were playing hide-and-seek and while Louisa and I went to count, Adele ran off to hide and we couldn't find her! We've been looking for her for an hour!"
"The most important thing to do is not to panic," said Edward in a calm voice. "Perhaps she's in a good hiding spot."
"But something must be out there," said Louisa. "Remember what happened to Mr. Roberts?"
"Yes, I'm still aware of that," Edward said. "But you were playing a hiding game. She's probably hiding in some bushes."
"We tried calling her name for an hour, Mr. Rochester," said Miss Walsh. "You would think she would've responded to her own name being called by now."
"All right," he sighed. "Let's go look for her." He put on his prosthetic hook, grabbed a hunting rifle and encouraged his wife Jane to get her shotgun and told Miss Walsh and Louisa to stay behind. "Don't leave this house for anything; this is for your own safety."
Jane and Edward then made their way outside, calling Adele's name but hearing nothing in response. They looked behind every tree, through every bush, and near every hill they could find but no Adele. Edward feared that Louisa may be right; whatever happened to the groundskeeper certainly happened to Adele. They continued looking for her, calling her name until their voices were hoarse. After thirty minutes, they sat down to rest near some trees. Edward dropped his head down between his legs, frustrated, angry, and worried. Jane was trying to keep herself from crying; after all, Adele was now her daughter and she meant the world to Jane. Finally, she broke down and Edward put his arm around her, tears running down his face as well. After crying, Jane poked her head up and noticed a barn on their property.
"Where did that come from?" she asked, pointing to the barn.
"I have no idea," replied her husband, wiping his eyes. "As far as I'm concerned, that thing never existed until now."
"Perhaps we should check there. Adele may have ventured in."
"All right. Let's go."
Jane and Edward ventured toward the mysterious barn which opened up its doors immediately upon their arrival. Once inside, the door slammed and the two of them found themselves face-to-face with a hideous, scaly creature with huge black eyes and clad in what seemed to be tight fitting trousers and a bigger, similar looking creature with huge black eyes and a very stupid grin on his face.
"Zorog, they keep coming in! Finally, we'll have enough for...yeeooowww!"
"That's enough George," said Zorog, stepping on his friend's foot. "We don't want to frighten our guests."
"Guests? We aren't your bloody 'guests,'" said Edward. "I don't know where you came from or what the deuce you are but your barn is trespassing on my property!" He aimed his hunting rifle right in Zorog's face. "Leave my property at once or face the consequences!" Zorog remained unfazed by Edward's threat.
"Testy, aren't we," said Zorog. "I have a little weapon of my own. Say hello to this." From his waistband, Zorog produced a small, futuristic-looking pistol and aimed it at both Jane and Edward. "I ask that you drop your weapons immediately and we'll settle this silly quarrel in a civil manner."
"That little thing?" asked Edward in jest. "Really now!"
"You want to see how this gun works? Allow me to demonstrate." Zorog aimed his small pistol at the ceiling, pulled the trigger and a huge blast of fire surged through the barrel. He then lowered the barrel to his lips, blew the remaining smoke away from it, and then put the gun back in his waistband. Immediately, Jane and Edward complied and surrendered their guns.
"What do you want from us, then?" asked Jane.
"I want you to be taken away from me and locked in a cell," said Zorog, gesturing George to take the both of them away.
"I thought we were going to be sorting this 'thing' out, civilly," said Edward.
"We are," replied Zorog. "This is how I do it. George, please escort our guests to their new prison cell."
"All right, Zorog!" said George euphorically, grabbing Edward by the back of his collar and Jane by the back of her dress.
"You brute!" snapped Jane.
"Why thank you for the compliment, m'lady!" George said with a grin.
"That wasn't a compliment," muttered Edward.
A few minutes later, George deposited the infamous Creature Killers of Thornfield into a somewhat spacious prison cell and locked the door, their hands tied behind their backs. "You all have a wonderful time," George said cheerfully. "Don't worry, we'll take good care of you so you will be good slaves for us." He locked the prison door and skipped happily down the aisle, with Jane and Edward feeling every vibration from it.
"Why the bast...I mean, devil," Edward muttered. "There, I corrected myself before you could."
"That doesn't matter now, Edward," Jane said. "How do we get out of here?"
"We've been asking ourselves the same question," came a familiar voice from the other side of the cell.
"Mr. Roberts?" said Jane. She turned her head to find him with his hands tied along with another captive.
"Mama, Papa!" cried Adele. "I knew you would come for us! We prayed and prayed and you finally came for us!"
"These fellows happen to be from the planet of Mars," said Mr. Roberts. "They crash landed here in this barn that they refer to as a 'space ship.' They plan to kidnap enough humans to go back to Mars to use as slave labor."
"I must certainly be dreaming," sighed Edward as his eyes rolled in disbelief.
"I thought the same thing when they captured me," said Mr. Roberts. "I even thought about swearing off that French wine you brought back a few years ago. I guess this isn't the result of one too many drinks because it certainly doesn't feel like a hallucination."
"Well," said Edward. "Do you have any ideas on how to get out of this deuce of a rat trap?"
"They took all of our weapons but they didn't take your prosthetic hook," Jane said. "Let me sit back to back with you so I can see if the hook can at least cut the rope."
"I'm not sure it will work but we have no other options." Edward had a hard time trying to maneuver himself to allow his hook to cut the rope tied to Jane's hand. After Jane was freed, she untied Edward and the both of them untied Mr. Roberts and Adele.
"Now what do we do, Mr. Rochester?" asked Mr. Roberts. "We're still locked in this cell."
"There's no keyhole, either," said Edward. "Just some strange panel with colored lights and buttons just outside of the barred gate." He turned to look at the unlocking panel to find George guarding the cell while sleeping at the same time; Edward's hunting rifle was nestled safely in his arms. "Now is our chance," he whispered. The guard is asleep." He put his hand through the bars and with the tip of his prosthetic hook, tried every button-light combination he could think of, and managed to open the cell. "Everyone needs to be quiet." He put his right index finger to his lips as a gesture to everyone to remain silent.
Jane, Edward, Mr. Roberts, and Adele snuck past the sleeping George. Jane slowly pulled her husband's rifle out of George's arms and handed it to him. They then scurried quietly into another room just in time to elude Zorog walking by with a cup of coffee. In the other room was Jane's shotgun and Mr. Roberts' rifle, which they collected and hid when they heard Zorog chastise George for allowing the prisoners to escape. As they frantically ran about the ship looking for the missing humans, Edward had to devise a plan that would allow them to escape and force the unwelcome trespassers off of his property.
"We can't just kill them right now," said Edward. "If we do, then that eyesore will be stuck on my property forever."
"We could threaten them to leave," said Mr. Roberts. He cocked his rifle. "By gunpoint."
"Well, we could but they have much better guns than we do," said Jane. "Didn't you see that pistol they have that shoots fire instead of bullets?"
"That was frightening," said Adele with a shudder. "I never want to see that again."
"Well, from where I was questioned, I noticed that there was a huge panel of sorts," said Mr. Roberts. "There's some sort of dial that, when turned, will automatically pilot this barn to a certain location, however, there's some sort of one minute delay before this thing actually leaves."
"Good to know," Edward said. "Let's hear my plan."
After much discussion, the foursome looked around to find Zorog and George at the helm of the spaceship, still arguing about allowing their captives to escape. Edward thought about just quietly leaving them there to bicker but realized that they would still continue to be a threat to the community as well as his property. He snuck up behind Zorog, pointed the tip of his hunting rifle at the back of his scaly, leathery bald head, and cocked it. Just before Zorog could turn his head around, Edward poked him with the tip of the gun.
"If you have a weapon in your possession, I highly suggest that you put it on the ground immediately," said Edward in a threatening voice. Both Jane and Mr. Roberts pointed their firearms at Zorog's left and right side, respectively. Zorog raised both of his hands slightly in the air. "If you have anyone else in this rat trap of yours, I suggest that you release them this instant."
"I don't have anyone in here other than the four of you," said Zorog nervously, raising one hand and extracting his pistol out of his waistband with the other, putting it down on the ground.
"I don't believe you. Show us."
"There's only one cell on this spaceship and you were all in it."
"He's right," said Mr. Roberts. "I didn't see anyone else in here other than them."
"Shush, Roberts."
While Edward and company were busy holding Zorog up at gunpoint, Adele decided to make friends with the dim-witted George. She stood next to him near the helm of the spaceship
"So what does this do?" she asked, pointing to a dial on the helm.
"Well, um, when you turn the dial, the spaceship goes to a certain place in the galaxy. We're from Mars and when you turn the dial to Mars, that's where the spaceship goes. I would like to go home to Mars because I'm feeling a bit homesick."
"Well, then why don't you go home then?"
"Well, that sounds like a good idea. Then Mars it is!" George then set the dial to the planet Mars. Adele turned to face Edward and winked, signaling that George had, in fact, set the ship to pilot itself back to the fourth planet from the sun. She snuck behind Edward as the four of them set to make a hasty retreat. Zorog turned around to find out that he'd been had.
"Stop humans, stop!" he cried, reaching on the ground for his fire gun. Before he could pull the trigger, a shot rang out and hit Zorog square in the forehead, killing him instantly.
"Wonderful shot, Jane," said Edward. "Now we have about 45 seconds to leave this thing before all of us are escorted into outer space."
George went to his dead friend's side. "Aw Zorog! How could they do that to you? I sure don't want to visit Earth ever again. Humans are scary. I'm glad we're going back to Mars though I would like to go to Italy for pasta." Just as the last 20 seconds were ticking down, George took Zorog's fire gun and followed the retreating humans for some revenge. Edward, Adele, and Mr. Roberts all made it out fine but Jane came running out, the end of her dress completely in flames after George, in a moment of clarity, pulled the trigger on the fire gun directly at her. Just as everyone made it out, the spaceship that looked like a barn took off, headed back to Mars where it came from. Immediately, Mr. Roberts doused Jane with a pail of water to extinguish the flames.
"Thank you, Mr. Roberts." She shook her arms and squeezed the water out of her hair.
"Well, I'm glad that nightmare is over," said Edward. "It's starting to get dark. Let's go inside and have some dinner. I'm sure everyone else is worried sick about us." They all went inside where a hot meal and a warm pot of tea were waiting for them.
A week later, Jane had walked over to a makeshift firing range that her husband Edward had built in the back of Thornfield for the both of them to practice only to find him showing Adele how to fire a rifle. Worried and angered, she ran to Edward and tapped him on the shoulder, facing him with a sour expression and folded arms.
"What do you think you're doing, Edward Fairfax Rochester!" she snapped. "Why is our daughter holding a firearm? Don't you have any idea that she could possibly maim or kill herself with that thing!"
"Papa is teaching me how to use a rifle in case of a monster attack," said Adele with a smile on her face. Jane put her hand on her face and shook her head in response.
"Well, how else is she going to defend herself if she's surrounded by the undead or even creatures from outer space?" asked Edward. "A girl must know how to defend herself against creature and zombie attacks. A few days ago, I went into town and bought this small hunting rifle because mine is too big for Adele. I just want her to be prepared." He helped Adele steady her new firearm and watched her aim down the sight for a good shot. "Good girl," Edward said to Adele. "One day you'll be good as your mother," he continued, turning his head in Jane's direction, causing her to sigh and roll her eyes. "Besides, she is practicing under my tutelage so she is perfectly safe."
"But not when she's almost thirteen, Edward!" she exclaimed.
"Jane my love, there is nothing to worry about," Edward replied calmly. "I have given her strict restrictions and lessons on using her new rifle so that she will not point it at herself or any innocent human being for that matter. Once we are done practicing, it will be in my study under lock and key."
"All right," Jane sighed, throwing her hands in the air. "I give up; let her practice her marksmanship even though I feel it's unnecessary."
"Mama," said Adele. "Watch this!" She took aim at what appeared to be an old wooden pail filled with water. She took one shot and hit the pail, draining it of its contents.
"That's really good, Adele," said Jane in a slightly nervous tone of voice.
"Now why don't you be a good example to your daughter and show her what real marksmanship is" said Edward with a sly grin on his face, sauntering over in his wife's direction. "Or perhaps you think it's 'unnecessary.'" He tossed Jane her hunting rifle.
"Edward, line up a row of six empty wine bottles for me; I'll show Adele how to really shoot." She loaded her gun and cocked it and then took aim and fired at each empty bottle, one after another nonstop until there was nothing left of them but shattered glass.
"Mama, you're wonderful!" cheered Adele. "You're better than Papa; he can't do that!" Edward said nothing but blushed in embarrassment.
"That's how it's done, my love," said Jane. "I'll teach you how to do that when you're older." She smiled and winked at Adele. "Come, let's go inside for tea."
"Have you ever tried that?" Adele asked her father in reference to Jane's feat of marksmanship.
"Only once and I ended up grazing my horse in the head, nearly killing the poor creature."
"You really need to work on your aim, Papa."
End of Chapter