NCIS: LOS ANGELES

GET OUT OF MY HEAD, DEEKS!

DISCLAIMER:

NCIS: Los Angeles & characters from the show do not belong to me.

RATING: M

This is my first M rated story. I will try not to put too much detail into the M rated parts.

SUMMARY:

Kensi for the past few nights has been dreaming of...Marty Deeks. She had been waking up and having trouble going back to sleep...Everyone is beginning to notice!

CHAPTER 23: EIGHT YEARS PART 2...

MARTY'S P.O.V.

I had come to the beach thinking I was going to surf...instead I stuck my surfboard in the sand and sat down looking out at the ocean. I now had my arms around my legs and let the tears fall.

I couldn't believe that after so many years together...

Both before and after we admitted our 'THING'...

Finally becoming a couple and dating...

Finding out she was pregnant...

Getting married...

Then the day Dani and D.J. had been born.

She wanted to say goodbye...call it quits and forget everything that had happened between us.

Everything had changed though after D.J. had been kidnapped. I didn't mane to blame her for D.J.'s kidnapping because I knew deep down it wasn't her fault and I don't know why I blamed her every year.

The truth is it's my fault D.J. was kidnapped it I would have been there...it wouldn't have happened.

This was never how I wanted things to turn out between us. When we finally admitted our 'thing', the day we got married and then when the twins had been born...

Well...those were the happiest times of my life.

My life had changed the day I met Kensi and I could feel something there even back then.

She said the day we got married...

'From the day we met there was something about you and at first I couldn't figure out what it was.'

So I know she had felt it to.

Why did things have to change and why did someone have to kidnap D.J.?

It's been eight years now and we have never given up hope of finding him, but we still have yet to find him.

"Where's Fawn?" I asked feeling her standing beside me. "Callen and Sam showed up just after you left. They're watching her, Marty please look at me..." Kensi said but I couldn't.

I loved her more than anything then she had stabbed me in the heart by when she suggested that we say goodbye to each other.

"...Marty please," Kensi said and I knew without looking that she was crying again or maybe she had never stopped.

"What are you doing here? You were the one that said we should say goodbye to each other." I reminded her as the sun began to set and it reminded me of the night I had proposed to her.

"I didn't mean that. I was angry and upset because I hate this argument we have every year." Kensi said and this time I did look at her. "I hate it to Kens. Maybe though it's like you said...time to say goodbye. We can't keep fighting like this every year it hurts Fawn." I told her.

"Marty, I-I don't want to lose us...to lose our 'thing'." Kensi said and I had to laugh.

"Our 'thing', I don't think there is a 'thing' between us anymore...it's been gone a long time Kensi. We lost each other years ago and we've just been holding on to the hope that things will get better." I told her.

"Marty, we've been through so much and I know what I said. But I don't want to say goodbye, I told you that I didn't mean it and I know that you don't believe there is no 'thing' between us anymore. There had been a 'thing' from the beginning. We can't give up now...think about Dani." Kensi said and I heard a pleading sound in her voice.

KENSI'S P.O.V.

I sat down next to Marty and it seemed for a long time we just sat there in silence.

"I am thinking of Fawn. I never wanted her to know what it was like to grow up without both of her parents together. Maybe it's for the best though." Marty said and I could hear the same defeat in his voice that I had seen in his eyes earlier.

"What about us Marty? We haven't given up o finding D.J. and we can't give up on us either. There has to be a way to work through this." I said and felt the tears start to fall harder.

Years ago I might have tried to hold back the tears and be tough, but time and a lot of other things have changed since then.

I had hurt Marty by saying we should just give up everything we had...The years before and after we finally became a couple.

"I-I don't know that there is a way to work..." Marty began still looking out at the ocean.

"So just because I suggested it...you're going to give up on us? Think of all that we have been through together. Marty we cannot give up now." I said starting to feel angry that he wanted to give up and not fight for us and our family.

"I think both of us did give up the day D.J. was kidnapped." Marty said quietly. "Dani asked about D.J. and I told her both of us would be there to tell her who he is." I explained and this time Marty did look at me.

"She asked about D.J.?" He asked in surprise and I nodded. "She heard us earlier and then called Callen because we had upset her with the argument. We have to tell her who he is...partner." I said with a sad smile.

"We're only work partner's now, Kensi. But you're right about the fact that it's time to tell Fawn about her twin brother." Marty said getting up.

I got up as well and grabbed his hand before he could walk away.

"So I guess you lied to me?" I asked and he looked at me in confusion. "What...I never lied to you." Marty said and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"What about what you said in your wedding vows to me?

'I will protect this family forever and do whatever it takes to make you happy. I look forward to spending the rest of our lives together.'

Did you mean that or was it just a lie?" I asked.

"Kensi I meant every word I said. Just like you though I'm tired of fighting every year and I think we would be happier..." Marty began. "Do you really believe I would be happier without you?" I asked stepping closer to him. "I-I'm really not sure anymore...a lot has changed." Marty said looking into my eyes.

"Dani does not want you to move out and neither do I. Think about that...about us." I suggested. "The truth is that I don't blame you for D.J. getting kidnapped...I should have been there, maybe if I had I could have stopped it." Marty said and I have to admit I was more than a little shocked.

"Marty when D.J. was kidnapped that was my fault and it was not my fault. So there was no way either one of us could have stopped it, that is in the past. Have you been blaming yourself for the past eight years since it happened?" I questioned and looking into his eyes I saw the answer.

"The day D.J. was kidnapped is the day we lost each other..." Marty told me. "Marty you never lost me...we were both hurting and for so long we had kept people away because of the fear of getting hurt. I guess we just didn't know how to deal with it...together. I think it's time that we start working together on trying to figure things out." I suggested and Marty nodded.

"You're right Princess. I couldn't imagine my life without you. I'm sorry I told you that it was your fault since it happened." Marty said and slipping his hand out of mine, he let both of his hands fall to my waist.

"I'm sorry for suggesting that it was time for us to say goodbye." I said and Marty seemed to hesitate before his lips found mine.

I put my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. I could feel us finding our way back home to each other.

It seemed a long time, but I felt him pull back and opened my eyes as he leaned his forehead against mine.

"Let's go tell Dani about her twin brother...partner." Marty said with a smile and I smiled back.

DANI'S P.O.V.

It wasn't long after Uncle G. and Uncle Sam showed up that mom had left to go find daddy. I wanted them to stay together but this I hated to hear them argue.

I was just afraid that this time...one of them would move out for good.

Now it's been a few hours and I looked up when I heard the front door. Mom and daddy came in with daddy's arm around mom.

"Mom, daddy," I yelled running over to them.

"Looks like you two worked things out." Uncle G. commented. "Yeah we just needed to talk...something we should have been doing more of since it happened." Mom replied.

"Who is D.J.?" I asked repeating the same question that no one seemed to want to answer. "Let's go sit down on the couch." Daddy suggested letting go of mom and taking my hand.

I sat down on the couch between them and waited for the answer. I noticed when I mentioned D.J. they both got a sad look on their faces.

"I think it's time for me and G. to go. So the three of you can have some family time," Uncle Sam suggested.

Then he and Uncle G. left...now it was just Monty, dad, mom and I left in the house.

"D.J. was...is your brother. He was kidnapped when you two were two-weeks-old." Daddy told me as him and mom tried to keep from crying.

I was trying to figure out how D.J. could be kidnapped when both of us were two-weeks-old and had just figured it out when mom spoke up.

"D.J. is not only your brother...he is your twin brother." Mom explained and I was surprised, but then I felt angry that they could keep a secret like that from me.

"Wh-why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked feeling tears in my eyes. "We just didn't know how to explain it." Daddy said and I looked at him before looking at mom.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" I asked. "Yes, it's just been hard to figure out how." Mom replied.

"Figure out how to tell me I had a twin brother? How is that hard to explain?" I yelled before getting up and running to my room slamming the door behind me.

I had heard mom and daddy trying to call me back, but I had ignored them as I flung myself on my bed and started to cry again.