No way was he going to lose his brother ever again. What if Dean was killed and Lilith claimed his soul back? He was not going to lose his brother ever again. Maybe if he did save Dean, Dean would take him back and forgive him after all.

These were his last thoughts as he rushed towards Dean just in time to take the poisoned freaking knives to his heart.

The last thing he heard before he succumbed to darkness was Dean's broken cry, "Sam! Why? Why did you?"

They say that one moment is enough to break your entire life. Dean had thought that he had lost the ability to be hurt anymore because of his brother. But when Sam jumped in front of him to take the knives to heart, the hurt expanded to a thousand further levels. It took 3 knives to Sam's heart that finally made him realize the undeniable truth. No matter what happened, no matter what came in between them, the love could never be erased. The bonds of brotherhood and love had them tied to each other so tight that any breakage was impossible.

The moment the knives penetrated to touch Sam's heart, Dean realized that his own heart had been crushed. The pain was numbing. Dean hadn't thought he could ever feel that bad. The pain squeezed his heart. He found it difficult to breath. The broken form of his brother seemed to be etched permanently in his mind. The wounds of the knives permanently etched in his heart. It hurt. So much. Seeing his brother slump in his arms, against his chest, knocked Dean out of his grief.

It was then that the urge to save his brother, the deep buried protectiveness and love that hadn't surfaced for quite some time now kicked in. flashing his cell phone out, Dean shouted angry words on the phones, concern and worry marking his every word.

Looking down at Sammy, he kept up a constant stream of encouragement lined with curses.

"Come-on Sammy. Don't u give up on me now. Keep your eyes open. Please from me. How could you? Sam! Why? Why did you? Shit! This damn wound is bleeding like a damn fountain. Come on. Just few more minutes Sammy. You hear me? The ambulance is coming. Just hold on for me please. Kiddo can you hear me?"

then he noticed the wound on Sam's head from where he had got hurt. Clearly a concussion. "Son of a –"

"Sammy u stay with me now do u hear me. Open your eyes please. For me. Stay awake now. You can't leave me now. Please." Dean said as a final plea. Desperation evident in his voice.

Just then the siren of the ambulance broken in through Dean's desperation and pleas. "Sammy the ambulance is here. They will make you fine. You hear me? Your going to be alright and then you are going to go back to being a pain in my ass again. Do you hear me?" Dean felt for Sam's pulse. Feeling a faint throb, Dean jumped into action.

Shouting wildly to no one in particular he said, "Get here fast you friggin people. My brother is dying. He needs help. Now."

The paramedics came over just then and moved Dean out of the way. "Sir you are getting in the way. Please sir." One of the paramedics shouted at Dean for constantly getting in their way as they slapped his brother to a gurney. In a few brisk seconds, Sam was loaded on the stretcher and packed off in the ambulance. Dean rode in the back of the ambulance. Holding Sammy's hand, constantly muttering words of relief.

Everything felt surreal to him. The next few hours past in a blur. The ride to the hospital took a whole of 17 minutes which turned out to be the worst 17 minutes of Dean's life. He couldn't bear to sit still while his brother had the sword of life hung over his head.

The wait was too long. And then after 17 frigging minutes, or a few million hours later to Dean, the ambulance reached the hospital. The paramedics hurriedly rushed Sam into the hospital while Dean tagged along worrying incessantly. Of course the moment Sam entered the operation theatre Dean was pushed out by the hospital staff.

"You don't understand! It's my brother there. I need to be there with him."

"Sir, please try to understand. We can't let you in there."

"Screw the hospital rules. My brother needs me. You can go right away to hell with your god damn rules."

"Sir pls. tries to understand. If you don't control yourself, then we are going to have to remove you forcefully." At this, Dean suddenly lost all of his rush. He slumped down tiredly against one of the chairs. Rubbing a hand over his face he sighed, "God please help my brother. Make him okay."

Then followed the long hours of wait while his brother was being operated. It was now that the guilt broke in and a huge wave of sadness and guilt crashed over him. He felt remorse that touched his soul deeply. How could he have let his brother take the knives? How could he have let his own flesh and blood, his own brother sacrifice himself? The pain was numbing. How could Sam have sacrificed himself for him? The idiot who had treated Sam like a monster. Over and over again, he had pushed Sam away, and yet Sam had still shown yet again, that he had his back. That stubborn son of a bitch had come back again and again when Dean had so clearly pushed him away and had mistrusted him. gods! How did Sam bear all of that?

How could he have let his brother even have the thought of Dean hating him. Yeah he had been angry but that didn't mean he had hated Sam. It took 3 knives to his brother's heart for him to pull his head out of his ass. How come he had forgotten his one main job in life ~ to protect Sammy? Had he been so caught up in his self pity that he had completely forgotten his father's dying words? How come he had forgotten the one main thing that kept him alive and got him through it all ~ Sam's heartbeat.

Tears fell down silently from his eyes till they ran out. His heart ached, he was frantic with worry and his brother was swinging back and forth on the see saw of destiny. One small thing and Sam could topple any moment to the darkness. It was all Dean's fault. He had been careless, had mistreated Sam, and had doubted his brother's love and genuine concern towards him. Dean now realized that in the past weeks, he had become an unfeeling monster, uncaring about how much he hurt Sam by ignoring him, doubting him and pushing him away. His chest constricted and a fresh round of tears started as the fear of losing his brother crept into his heart.

He was vaguely aware of all the pitying glances he was receiving from the nurses. The guilt and fear was squeezing his heart. He would rather live with a Sam who had become a hardened strong hunter than with a broken blood dyed Sam. If anything happened to his brother, he would never ever forgive himself. It was cold oak all over again, except that this time Sam had suffered the worst hurt he could ever receive. Sam had been killed, nearly killed (Dean mentally corrected himself) because of the brother he had tailed around and idolized since he could know and understand things. How could Dean ever make things better? Even if Sam did live through this (he would, Dean said fiercely to himself) how could Sam ever forgive Dean? How could Dean ever hope to get things back to what they were ever again?

More tears fell. Dean closed his eyes. He couldn't bear it if anything happened to Sam. Dean didn't think he had the ability to live through his life without Sam. He couldn't survive a week without Sam before, how could he now live through his life bearing the ever weighing down killed of having killed his brother with cold heartedness and mistrust. What if Sam died thinking that Dean hated him and didn't love him anymore? No. Stop. Dean mentally kicked himself for even having such thoughts. Sam would live through this. He was a fighter. Sam was a stubborn bastard who would no doubt survive this injury. He just won't give up like this. Dean had taught him better.

But after all this was over, he would have a huge apology to say as soon as Sam woke up. When Sam woke up, they were gonna have the mother of all chick flick moments. Dean smiled listlessly at the thought.

He was shaken out of his reverie when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up into the apprehensive eyes of a middle aged man in a white coat.

"Dean Wesson, Sam Wesson's brother?"

"Yes, how is my brother now?" Dean asked with frantic worry.

"I suggest we talk some where more private. Follow me."

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