Chapter 32:

We slid into the house, sitting at the table while Bard brought over a huge pile of waepons. I slumped against the wall, not listening, too tired. Even with my gems providing the energy, the effort it took to concentrate long enough to hold up an invisiblity spell on clumsily-moving dwarves and a silence spell on very loud-moving dwarves was enough to send any spellcaster straight to sleep.

There was a tiff about leaving right then, but even the dwarves had to concede that they couldn't leave in broad daylight.

I heard a tap on the window, and I walked out onto Bard's porch, making sure I was invisible so no Laketown residents would see me.

"Hello, Moonshadow," I said conversationally to the jet black hawk in front of me. "And Rory. How are the two of you doing?"

We are fine, Freya, said Moonshadow. How much longer will you be here?

"The rest of today and a lot of tonight. Other than that, I don't know."

The hawk dipped his head and hopped forward a tiny bit. Freya, are you alright?

"I'm fine," I murmured, wrapping my arms around myself and rubbing my upper arms with my hands, hunching my shoulders against the cold.

Liar. Rory spoke for the first time.

"I'm fine," I grumbled.

We don't believe you, little one, said Moonshadow softly.

"There's nothing wrong with me," I insisted.

Come on, stop lying, wheedled Rory.

"Fine," I snapped exasperatedly. "Kili's gotten shot, as you know, and I think it's still hurting him, but nobody knows how to fix it and I haven't had time, and he won't even let me touch it anyway. I have a horrible feeling that something bad is going to happen, and I can't decide if I want to meet Smaug or not. I think I'm going to, but I really hope tha tnone of these guys die. I'm worried about the Battle of the Five Armies, I'm worried about Thorin's gold obsession, I'm just worried all around. Happy now?"

There was a brief silence, and then Moonshadow murmured quietly into my mind, Everything is going to be fine, Freya. I promise.

"Stay out of trouble. Take Rory again and stay up in the sky until I get the chance to talk to you alone again," I advised.

Of course.

With that, he scooped Rory up in his claw, and his outstretched wing tip brushed my nose slightly as he took off. The feather was soft. It was oddly reassuring.

I looked up and saw the glossy black feathers, glowing a bit in the sunlight, the beautiful bird wheeling among the heavens. I sighed again. Moonshadow was majestic and beautiful no matter what form he was in.

I went back inside to find the dwarves idle, and I knew they would do anything for something interesting to do.

Thus, I was not surprised when Thorin came over to continue our conversation.

"Freya," said Thorin. "A word, if you please."

Yup. Called it. "Coming, Thorin," I replied.

I stood up, squeezed Kili's hand reassuringly (he was shooting me nervous looks), and followed Thorin out of the room.

"Alright, Thorin," I said, crossing my arms as he led me down into a very well-hidden wine cellar. "What d'you want?"

He against a barrel. "You and I need to talk."

"Yeah, got that," I said grouchily, scooting upwards to sit on a barrel with my legs dangling off. I gave the barrel a good thwack with my foot, which was bothering me - I had had enough of barrels. "What about?"

He gave me a look, and opened his mouth to reply.

"Wait -" I interrupted. "Lemme guess. Me and Kili."

Thorin gave me a different look - this one searching. "Correct. You and he -"

"Slept in the same room last night? Yeah, I get it. He and I sleep within ten feet of each other, and you assume we had sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Thorin looked slightly alarmed.

"Chill, dude. I already told you nothing happened."

Looking calmer, he continued. "Freya..." he hesitated a moment, then pushed on. "He is young. He does not understand matters of the heart, of love."

"Yes, he does," I replied quietly. "He loves me."

"Does he know what that entails?"

I bit my lip, unable to answer that.

"Precisely. Now, the real question is, do you love him?"

That got me angrier, perhaps, than anything else the dwarf king had said. Which was why, instead of yelling, I simply replied in a low, dangerous voice. "You need to understand something, Thorin. I'll tell you a secret. I am originally from Middle Earth. As a result of my own magic, a mistake, I was ripped away from this world and lived in a different one. I died there, and returned here. As it turns out, Kili's last girlfriend was me. Before I disappeared. D'you think for a second that I would play with him? Do you think for one moment that I would do something that shallow?"

I didn't wait for a response. My voice was so full of venom, of coldness, of barely, poorly contained fury, that I didn't blame Thorin for keeping silent.

"Of course I love him. I have loved him since the beginning of this mad quest, and before. I would die for him, he would die for me, and yet if he died I might just kill myself, for without him in my life, what's the point? He is everything I have ever hoped for in a man, everything I have dreamed of, he embodies the other half of my soul, and you have the nerve to ask if I love him? You have the nerve to ask if I love him?"

Silence reigned for a solid two minutes. Thorin contemplated me for a long time, and finally nodded. "I think we're done here."

"I think that you never should have asked," I replied coldly, stalking out past rows of barrels, back into the kitchen.

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