A/N: Hii everyone, so here is Merlins decision but is it his final one? Well read on and descover...:)

Warnings: MalexMale, swearing, Mpreg

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin

"Are you sure Merlin? This is huge and not telling Arthur before doing this is something else" she said not entirely agreeing with her friends decition. Gwen thought when he knew he'd passed he would keep the child or at least that's what she'd hoped.

"I'm sure, I'll call the clinc later and make my appointment. I'm not going to tell Arthur so he can tell me how 'I've ruined his life' or 'I was an even bigger mistake'. This is my decition Gwen and I'd really like it if you come with me. I'd hate to do something like this by myself" he asked with a hint of doubt to his tone.

"Of course I'll come" she sighed like it was obvious.

"Thank you" he said turning to the cupboards "What do you want to eat? I can cook something for me, you and Lance"

"No!" she shouted startling her friend

"Gwen, what the fuck? Calm down and what do you mean 'no'?" Merlin asked baffled

"I mean no you can't dodge anymore! I understand you didn't want to talk about it before because there was a lot of uncertainty but now you know you've passed and made a decision, talk about it. Talk to me" Gwen pleaded trying to get her friend to see sense.

"What exactly do you want me to say?" he asked angrily throwing his arms in the air

"What do you want to do about it? Take Arthur out the equation, what would you do then?"

"I'd keep it. I want to keep it, but I can't" Merlin shouted honestly the tears begining to escape his eyes.

"Why?" she asked with relief at finally getting some honesty.

"Because..yes I have the qualificaions but who's going to employ someone who needs to go on maternity leave soon? Plus, it's because of this detail I don't have money to buy baby things with"

"I'd help you, Lance would, your mother and you know Morgana and Leon would but you've pushed them away" Gwen pointed out

"I don't want to take money from my friends or my mother and you know why I can't tell them!" he protested

"You can pay us back! They would never go against your wishes" she said angrily at his assumption.

"How do you know? You even said if it was your brother you'd tell him, how is this different?"

"Morgana isn't speaking to him still since he hurt you! Soo why would she do this?" she asked getting angry at her friend.

"Fine! Why don't you invite them, we'll late for Lance, then we can eat dinner together and we'll tell them about it?" he asked sarcasticlly.

"I didn't mean that, Merlin. But you should tell them in your own time"

"I'm going to lay down" he said calmly. Gwen realising what he was getting at she left the room and went to find Lance. He slumped down on his bed and began to sob. 'Why are you getting rid of it then? If you care about it so much or are you that pathetic not to ask for a little bit of help from some friends? You know Morgana wouldn't say anything! You just don't want to tell her your aborting her neice or nephew!' he cried and cried until he'd got a headache. Merlin rolled onto his back and gently placed his hand onto his stomache then began to rub it. "You didn't ask for this, to be here. It's because your dad is a selfish son of a bitch and it's so hard to do this but I can't have you. It's not because I don't want to but because he'll eventually find out and the thought of him rejecting you is just hard. I'm sorry" he whispered reaching for his phone and dialling the number.

"Hello, Apple Tree Clinic. How can I help you?" a female receptionist asked sounding too happy for someone who worked at an abortion clinic..

"Yes..uh, hello. My name is Merlin Emrys and I'd like to book an..uh..well..you know"

"Okay sir, we have one for next wednesday at 12 pm. Is that ok?"

"That will be fine" he said fighting back the erge to continue crying.

"Could you tell me roughly how far along you are?"

"About five weeks but six weeks by the time I have the appointment" he answered never forgeting the exact date he and Arthur slept together.

"Okay, so well in date. Is this your first time?" she asked quietly

"Yes" he answered

"Do you know what will happen?"

"No" Merlin said letting the tears free again.

"Well, you'll come in and talk to one of the doctors then she'll examine you and if you still want to go through with it you'll take it from there"

"Thank you"

"Okay, bye bye" As soon as Merlin put the phone down he heard a knock at the door. He could tell my the way the person knocked it was Lance, Gwen probely convinced him to come and attempt a heart to heart. "Merlin?" his friend asked opening the door and just peeping his head around to see if his friend was awake.

"Yes?"

"I just came to see if you wanted to talk" Lance said moving into the room and sitting beside Merlin.

"What you mean is Gwen asked you or threatened you to come and talk to me" Merlin chuckled and Lance nodded.

"Pretty much. So while I'm here anything you want to say?"

"Just tell Gwen I already booked the appointment so she can let it go now and I've made my final desicion. This is what is best for everyone" he said trying to partly convince himself as much as Lance.

"Okay if your sure I trust you've done what you believe is best" Lance nodded getting up to leave.

When Lance left his and Merlins room and went to Gwens, he was met by a her pacing, "Well?"

"He's already made the appointment" Lance informed shaking his head.

"Why? I don't understand him"

"I'm confused to why your so upset about all this"

"Because he needs something good right now and this baby just seems to be a blessing in disguise. It's come just at the right time, when he's at his lowest and he wants it he told me he's just scared and to proud to ask for help" she informed her fiancee.

"All we can do is hope after his consult at the clinic he changes his mind and see's sense" he said to her wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her close.

"I want one" she said after a moments silence

"A baby?"

"Yes" she answered simply burying her head in his chest.

"Well..I want one too but I think we should wait until we finish our finals which isn't for another month"

"Okay" she smiled as they shared a loving kiss...

A/N: So yeah, did you enjoy? xoxoxo