I'll kill him myself.
It was such an easy promise to make. Driven by pain and desperation and heartache, seizing the promise to kill him herself seemed like the best way to minimize the rest of the pain. If it couldn't spare her heartache, at least it could spare other's some pain.
At least Naruto wouldn't have to be the one to do it.
It all seemed so simple and easy when she said it. Like saying it could just make it happen and be done with. Like she could kill all the pain in her heart just by making the decision.
Her hands shook, and her heart throbbed with the ache of trying to push onward, to drive the kunai through a vital spot and end it all: the fighting, the pain, the hope.
I thought I could do this
He turned with a speed that still surprised her, fingers of one hand clamping over her throat, while the others seized her own weapon from her, ready to strike. Perhaps her reaction time was poor for a shinobi…or perhaps a part of her was still unwilling to react. If she reacted, she'd be forced to defend herself. She'd be forced to strike where he was vulnerable, and then she'd be committed to finishing things.
She couldn't—
Kakashi-sensei shouted something as Sasuke drew up the kunai to strike, and her teammate paused. She hadn't heard what it was, but whatever it was, it earned a reflection of something dark in her teammate's changed eyes. He turned away from her then, moving to throw the poisoned kunai instead—
Out of desperation she struck with a paralytic senbon.
The kunai dropped into the depths of the water, and she thought she saw a look of almost surprise pass over his features. She didn't have time to examine it though, because as soon as he let her go, she had to reach out and grab him, lest he sink into the water.
She hadn't wanted…
"Sasuke-kun…" She smoothed his hair away from his face as she settled herself down on her knees.
It was as if he were an entirely different person. After that one moment of surprise, all she could see was hate and rage, and such endless pain in his eyes. Her Sasuke-kun hadn't been like that. The one she'd seen only a few months before hadn't been, either. What happened? What had changed to turn him from the person who'd had such a gentle heart underneath his hurt and anger?
Kakashi-sensei approached warily, but there was no need. Now that he'd been successfully paralyzed, the anti-chakra properties of the poison she'd used would mean a slow and painful death if he were left alone.
She didn't have a cure.
Her shoulders shook in a sob, and her sensei's hand came to rest on it. It didn't help. Nothing could, not anymore. Not now.
I'll save him from his hatred.
"I'm sorry…" She shook her head, not even bothering to brush away the tears that seemed never-ending. Her head dropped to his and she shut her eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun."
This wasn't the way Team 7 was supposed to end.
This wasn't what was supposed to happen.
Her hands trembled with the urge to attempt to heal him…but even if she had, it would be pointless. There wasn't the materials here, and he wouldn't survive to get to those. If she tried, he'd only suffer in agony, and if she succeeded, he'd only fall deeper into hatred.
She'd only wanted to save him.
Another kunai, normal this time, what she'd brought in case she'd needed to use the senbon. She lifted it over her head and forced herself to open her eyes. To meet the cold, heartless gaze in the hope that maybe, just maybe, she could spot some flickering sign that she'd saved him.
She just wanted…
She'd only wanted…
For the Sasuke-kun she used to know, if she couldn't save him and couldn't spare him, it was the only way left to avenge him from the darkness.
As she drove the weapon down and felt warmth seep across her gripped fingers, she was sure she heard Naruto scream.
"I'm so sorry."