Emiya Clan Misc - Nobody Dies
It was chaos in the Emiya Household.
"I can't track her!" Matsu-kaasan cried over the intercom. "I can't get a signal!"
"Mongrel, I expected better security even from you!" Gil-ojisan's voice growled over the channel.
"Why did you even bring her home with you, oniisan?" a shrill voice echoed.
I wisely chose not to answer.
There was a muffled explosion, felt more than heard as one of my siblings unleashed their power in one of the distant corridors. Panic, sheer panic raced through me. What was I thinking?
"Report!" cried the family patriarch.
"She's in the walls!" replied a frantic voice. "Arika just tried to blow us all up to get to her!"
"Contact!" another panicky voice shouted over the channel. "Second floor, West Wi-"
That transmission was lost in static as another explosion, this one slightly more concussive, rippled through the walls. My eyes widened, Arika had been in the East Wing.
"Weapons Free!" came the order. "Try to keep damage to a minimum but Weapons are authorized!"
"Heck yeah!" crowed Keiko.
A sudden clatter came from a room down the hallway. Swallowing, I nervously sidled up to the door, back against the wall. With a mental countdown I threw it open and spun into the room, taking a stance...
...and facing an empty room. I sighed audibly in relief and tapped the microphone bead in my ear. "North Wing is secure," I reported as I turned around.
I froze.
The air-conditioning grate was on the floor at my feet. Steeling myself, I looked at the ceiling from which it had fallen... and stared into two glowing red eyes peeking out from the darkness.
"Heee~ey."
And a pale arm snaked down to haul me up by my collar.
(a/n) - this omake is an old one. i blame Silver_Sun_17 for this one (Emiya Clan thread, pg18 post #855). the original bunny was for NobodyDies teh!Rei to wing one of the children. she's naturally the most obvious choice because ND! has their own canon example for universe hopping.
after this omake the idea evolved somewhat, a few of us were trying to figure out which of the sekirei kids were still unclaimed, which could possibly SURVIVE the Ree, etc. then this discussion happened:
Silver_Sun_17: Kaien, he has FIRE, so...
throwaawy: ...oh dear god... Nana, then?
Silver_Sun_17: BOOM FOR THE BOOM GOD!
of course once Nana was more or less selected, people like Aoshi were suggested just on account he's got the power of the Blue, we had a Gendo vs Shirou staring contest complete with lasers and...
...and then the whole thing was shoved deep into crack territory and forgotten. i think the main Omakes thread started their own too so... shrug?