Title: Welcome to Trost High

Pairings: Jean x Armin

Summary: The reason why you never leave assignments left undone on gaming night is because of Armin's Monster.

Disclaimer: No... No... Ouchness does not own AoT.

Author Notes: I won't spoil this chapter before it starts, however I will state that I am very sorry for those that will flip the table over due to whatever reason you may have in order to do so. I will say this though: I had to put in something that was totally impossible of Armin to have because this is a story of Armin and his impossible-to-have-habits. Flame me all you want, but please remember its for humor's sake.

Now that I got that out of the way, I do apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I wanted to continue on and make it longer however I couldn't seem to get my brain to work even more. So, instead you have about a 14 page chapter to read through. ^^;

The heat was suffocating. It was as though he was wrapped in multiple layers of wool and left out to die on a tropical island – during the day. Also, take the sweating into consideration. The simplest way to describe it was... slime. Slime that covered his whole body in multiple layers of ick. It was an unpleasant feeling that would kill Levi instantly because his OCD would have went off the rocker and most like combusted on the spot.

Did it help that it felt like he took a steel pipe to the head?

Then there was the stuffiness. It was as though someone stuffing him up with cotton balls, trying to cram as many as possible into his skull, though a handful only escaped into what could be assume was his throat. He didn't know what was worse. Waking up to a stuffy head of pain or the cottonmouth.

And why was there something holding him down by the chest?

Stiffly, the boy craned his head to the side. This only cause a flash of searing pain to spread through his brain. He couldn't even open his eyes due to the intensity of the pain. However, he did roll off to his side and bury himself further into that sweltering heat.

"Motherfucken cocksuck little shitbag of a mother's whore." Even his voice felt raw. "Fucken A..."

"I'm shocked you can say such things..." There was another being in his bed and from what he could make out from the voice, it was a man. He had a very nice voice though. Husky, deep, laced with sleep. It caused tingles to spread all over his body.

"Suck my dick." was grumbled out. Shifting his body, he had to hiss out in pain. Apparently a certain part of anatomy was standing at full attention and did not like being place into awkward positions. Damn morning wood...

"I already sucked that monster last night." The voice was grumbling along.

"Whaa?" He tried pushing himself up, but it was close to impossible. Plus his stomach was churning when being forced to move.

"..." There was a sigh. "You were wasted last night."

Last night... What happened last night? Slowly cracking his eyes open, he took in the figure laying beisde him. The undercut was familiar... as well as those sideburns. Squinting his eyes, "... Were yo-"

SLAM! "Armin, wake up!"

Oh gawd, what horrible timing. Why? Whhyyyyyyy?! Why did he have to come over at this time?!

The noise being made was thanks to his best friend/brother Eren. This was a normal routine for them, so Armin couldn't be that upset about it. Each Saturday morning his friends would come over, drag him out of bed and they'd go look for some brunch. Now, since today was Mikasa's big day, they'd make a habit of hitting up the local Ihop or Denny's for chow. Just a normal routine between friends so that they can get caught up and make fun of one another. You know, the whole normal teenager routine.

If today was a normal day, Armin would accept this with open arms. However, today was not a normal day. Today was the day where he woke up with a hangover, naked next to an equally naked Jean with a raging case of morning wood. Knowing Eren, he would jump onto the bed.

"Oof!" He did jump on the bed.

With the air being forced out of his lungs, the throb in his head to intensify. Armin felt a heavy pressure against his waist and he couldn't help but let out strangled groan. Didn't his friend know about his predicament or was he being oblivious as always?

"This shit again? What the fuck?" Jean could be heard grumbling as he cocooned himself further into the mass of blankets. You could hear his pained groans as he moved about.

"What the fuck is Jean doing in your bed?" Eren glared at the other boy as he straddled Armin's waist.

Staring up at the angry green eyes, Armin couldn't really comment much. Heck, his reaction was borderline apathetic. So, he just raised a brow and mumbled a soft, "I wouldn't let him go home so late..." He could remember that much.

No wait. There was the game.

He recalled watching it with Jean and everyone else in the household. Jean and him managed to finish the physics assignment just in time for the game to start off. During the game everyone was hyped and yelling. Armin introduced the bong method to Jean and he absolutely fell in love with the idea. He mentioned it was similar to the shotgun he received the other day. Some time after that, drinks were served.

Lots of drinks. Lots of alcoholic drinks. Beverages that would make teenagers irresponsible and crazy.

Yes. Armin's household is filled with irresponsible adults. They all didn't care for the drinking and the smoking – s'long as the kids were in a safe place. If they were caught on the streets, then it was a different story. It sounds hypocritical, but it made sense. Out on the streets, you don't know who is there and what they'd do to you. At least when you're at home you know you're in a safe place.

Plus Armin could enjoy his buzzes in front of a book or a computer, just absorbing information or looking up random bits of funnies to get a kick out of .

Though, he couldn't remember what happened after Manchester United lost the game. Well, he should say lost the bet. Jean was rooting for Liverpool all the way – only because they were winning the game. So Armin was left alone to strip out at Kenny's. He recalled having a bottle thrown at his head because of that... and he has yet to sludge down Levi's room. God, thinking about that part brought on another wave of what could be described as a migraine crashing down on him.

Still, doesn't explain how Jean and him got in bed...

"Really? He has a car Armin. And what the hell is poking at my ass?!" Eren moved and reached behind. That sharp tug wasn't something Armin was happy about.

Really Eren? You had to ask that? Armin had to bite down onto his lip to contain his groans. "Eren. Get the fuck out of my room." He was way too tired to deal with this. Especially at this time of the morning. "And if you're going to touch my dick, then finish the damn job."

Jean could be heard giggling into the pillows. There was a load of pillows on the bed. Armin loved pillows. A lot. Loved em. "Don't tell me Jaeger doesn't know what the fuck morning wood is." Jean's gruff voice was muffled thanks to the amount of fluffy objects around him.

Eren sat there in shock for a moment. That or embarrassment. His hand was all over his friend's junk after all. "... Are you naked under this?" Not waiting for an answer, Eren got up onto his knees and peeked under the blanket.

Armin was slow on the reaction. He should have realized this was going to happen and yet, he didn't react. The fact that it was happening in the first place just brought on a wave of anger onto the blond's shoulders. It was way to early for this sort of thing, for one. Second, both Jean and him were hungover and trying to get through last night's aftermath out of their systems.

So, when Eren pounced onto Jean with what could be assumed was a war cry escaping his lips, there wasn't much action on Armin's side. He just laid on his side and watched in pure shock as Eren punch his house guest in the face.

Jean retaliated with just the same amount of anger and force in his punches. Maybe even more when you see the furious glint set into his eyes. He didn't even stop at one punch. Actually, there was no stopping with these two. If anything, they kept on going at it.

"You fucken asshole! You think you can take advantage of Armin like that?!" another punch was swung, connecting with Jean's jaw with a gut wrenching thud.

Jean's skull connected with the bedpost with a loud crack. The force of the blow was enough to stop whatever thought was to come to mind. Though it didn't stop his body from going limp and falling onto the floor.

Guess there was no smart remarks being made on Jean's part anytime soon.

Though, that got Armin up into action. Before Eren could even consider harming Jean even more, the blond threw his skinny arms around the taller boy's neck. He remember Levi showing him how to do this, however he could never pull it off that well. It required too much force to use. But at the moment it was the only option he had available to him.

Tucking the crook of his arm underneath Eren's chin, Armin tightly clasped his hands together. A yank backwards with the flexing of his muscles should be enough to cut the blood flow from his carotid arteries. There would be nothing life threatening happening, just forcing the enraged teenager to pass out.

"He wasn't taking advantage of me!" Armin hissed out to the teen who was struggling out of his grip. He put more force against his other hand, thus tightening the hold around his friend's neck.

"Greh! Armin!" Hands clawed away at his elbow. "Leddgoo!"

"Not till you stop!" Why was he crying now? Why couldn't he just do things with a straight face?

"'uckin ledgo!" The words were strangled out with anger. Armin had to tighten his grip further as Eren tried to lift the small boy from behind.

"No!" Shouted, spewing snots and tears as he did so.

Out of nowhere hands clasped onto Armin's skinny shoulders. Roughly, he was pulled off of Eren and thrown onto the bed. Before he could even get a glance at who his offender was, a blanket was thrown over him. Even though it was muffled, he could hear Eren coughing and gasping for air. He didn't hurt his friend. He couldn't have... could he?

"Jean, are you alive?" The voice belong to Mikasa. If she was inquiring about Jean before Eren, that meant...

"Jean!" Armin was quick to throw himself over the other side of the bed.

Jean was curled up on the ground, cradling his head. There was a groan of response to Armin's call. Other than that, the teen just laid there. A nasty bump was swelling at a remarkable rate on his temple, other than that nothing look too life threatening. Maybe a tinkle of blood out the nose. Armin couldn't tell due to the position he was at. He had to get closer.

Sliding up next to the brunette, gentle touches were made as Armin inspected the damage. He wince. It wasn't just a lump on the forehead. Jean's nose was broken, though the fix should be easy. He just had to deal with the excessive amount of blood pouring down his chin. There there was another lump forming around Jean's right eye socket. However it wasn't as bad as the one growing on his forehead.

"What happened?" Mikasa was heard from behind.

"J-jean. That fucken bastard." Shuffling and the bed creaking was heard. "Took advantage of Armin!"

"Calm down." Mikasa ordered. She glanced over at the blond, "Is it true?"

Armin shook his head. "No." He was sure of that one. If anything, it sounded like Armin took advantage of him.

Glancing down at Eren, "It sounds like its Armin's personal business."

"But Mikasa," Eren retorted, "the fucker is naked with Armin! Its fucken Jean! He doesn't des-"

"As I said, its Armin's business." Mikasa butted in. "I don't approve either, but he's old enough to decide where to stick that monster cock of his in."

That got Eren to shut up.

Armin on the other hand just ignored them. He was more concerned about the other teen than what his friends have to say about him. Running his fingers through the mop of sandy brown locks, he was awarded with a sigh of relief.

Jean mumbled softly, "My head is killing me... Can I strangle that fucker?"

"No Jean." Armin whispered. "You're not hurting my friend.." Grabbing the blanket, Armin covered Jean's naked form. He couldn't help but shoot Eren a glare.

The said male was being held back by Mikasa. Those green orbs flared with anger and distrust. Not to mention hurt. It didn't help his conscience that he could see the red marks decorating his best friend's neck. Armin could have really hurt Eren there. Or worse... actually killed him.

Armin averted his gaze. "Sorry... I.. um..." His shoulders slump in defeat and guilt.

Mikasa nudged at Eren, giving him a pointed look. Her brother just sneered and glared down at the bedsheets. Mumbling, "Its... not your fault... He did take a nasty blow to the head."

"But I could have crushed your windpipe!" Armin exclaimed. Jean whined pitifully at the loud sounds. That most likely didn't help his headache at all. "Sorry Jean." was whispered.

"And I could have cracked his skull – even though he deserves it." The last part was muttered.

"Still, the damage wou-"

"Armin, Just let it go."

The conversation between them was over. Plus, it was Eren's way of forgiving Armin's actions. Eren understood perfectly. If something like this happened between Mikasa and Armin, he would have reacted similarly.

"You're both stupid." A fifth voice announced at the doorway. "And put some clothes on, you shitfaced brats. Not in the mood to see kiddy porn being played out."

A quick glance revealed that Levi was leaning against the door frame with a cup of tea in hand. The man seem totally unamused and absolutely disgusted. Most likely disgusted at the mess in Armin's room. The blond had recently gotten lazy at the cleaning business.

"Sorry Levi." Armin said automatically. "Um, is there any aspirins. Jean got a nasty bru...erm, bu... um." he trailed off, glancing down at the injured teen.

Jean just groaned and raised an arm. He was to make his presence known dammit!

The bed was creaking once more as Eren and Mikasa crawled off of it. They mumbled to one another before glancing back at Armin. "We'll be waiting in the living room..." Eren stated in a lame manner. And just like that, they were shuffling out of the room.

"I'll get the aspirins. Just put your giant ass cock away and make sure the stupid shit there doesn't go to sleep." Levi grumbled out.

Armin couldn't stop the blush from appearing on his cheeks. Of course everyone would be pointing out his dick. He couldn't help it. Actually, right now wasn't the time to think about that.

"Thank you, Levi." Armin called out before kneeling down to Jean once more. Laying a hand onto the linebacker's shoulder, "Hey... lets get you into bed, okay? Remember, no sleeping... Shit, I think we should take you to the hospital instead." Armin was thinking aloud, not really paying much mind as to what was happening outside his circle of concern for Jean.

"No hospital... Folks would worry." Jean groaned softly as he began to get up. "Does he usually go off the handle like that?" Accepting the help from the smaller boy, Jean was then set onto the mattress. That blanket was pulled over once again.

"Only when it concerns Mikasa and I." Armin said softly. "I can't blame him for freaking out. I could blame him for getting violent..." sighing heavily at that, Armin looked over Jean's face.

The brunette's right eye was swollen, but not to the point that it was shut close. The contusion nested itself onto his temple, which was bloated with a nasty discoloration of purples and red. That was a nasty one and hopefully he doesn't have a concussion.

Actually, now that he thought on it, Jean was reacting rather well to his responses. Still, he had to make sure.

"Do you know where we are?" Armin asked as his fingers grazed along the abnormal angle his nose has taken.

Hissing in pain, "Yes. We're in your room. My name is Jean Alphonse Kirstein. I was born on April 7th of 1999. Today is Saturday and I could care less about the date. See, no concussion."

"Your middle name is Alphonse?" Armin raised a brow at that one. It was a rather sexy name – or at least that's what Armin thought. Ignoring the hiss of pain, "Also, I need to reline this."

"Yes, my middle name is Alphonse... Fuck, really?"

"Do you want to breathe correctly?"

Jean sighed heavily and then brought the blanket up to his mouth. Biting down onto the material he gave Armin the go-ahead motion. Pinching the bridge of the nose, swift work was dealt as Armin snapped to the side and it was set in. It didn't stop Jean from groaning in pain.

"Sorry." Armin said softly. Jean just brushed the apology off with a grunt.

Just then a knock was heard by the doorway. It was Levi, holding a glass of amber fluids, a bottle of aspirins and a cold compress. Moving away from the bed, Armin rushed over to his guardian.

"I seriously think you're related to Erwin." Levi mumbled as he stared down at the junction between Armin's legs. Shaking his head, the items were passed off to the blushing Armin. "Is he falling asleep?"

Shaking his head, "No. He's not experiencing a concussion. Should be use to it, since he's a linebacker..."

"The idiot plays gridiron?" Jean flicked Levi the bird from behind. "Keep that up and I'll break each one of your fingers off and shove em up your ass... well, he did take on the monster. Most likely would slip out..."

Armin groaned at this. "Oh shut it will you. You're making it seem like I'm the size of fucken Commander Eyebrows." He gave the glass of liquid a sniff, raising a brow as he did so. "You're giving him your good scotch?"

"The only fucken scotch we got in the house, since you two idiots drank the shittier bottle last night." shaking his head, Levi then left Armin standing naked in the door way.

"I don't want anymore alcohol." Jean stated as he eyed the glass in Armin's hand.

"I'll help with the pain. I know, mixing meds and alcohol is bad, but trust me. It'll help." Armin stated as he kicked his door shut and padded over to Jean's side.

"Really? How would you know?" Jean was picking at the dry blood off his upper lip.

Swatting at the hand, "I use to get bullied a lot and when the pain was too much Levi would just shove the scotch down my throat with a few pills. Here." the pills were passed on along with the glass.

Washing down the medicine with the burning liquid, Jean winced some at the taste. Armin couldn't help but chuckle softly. He looked cute... Shaking the thought out of his mind, the cold compress was then pressed against Jean's temple. "Ten minutes on, ten minutes off."

"Okay, okay... sheesh. To think I got saved by a shorty." Even though Jean kept a upsetting tone, it didn't stop the handsome smile sprouting on his rugged features. "Thank you, by the way. Not many would go against their friends over that. Especially since you all seem so close..."

"I'm not that short." Armin grumbled as he took the glass away. "And... don't mention it. He shouldn't be doing that... I think I was the one that took advantage of the situation. Oh gawd. I'm so sorry about that. I'm really surprised you're taking this in all so well."

Jean waved the comment off. "S'long as Jaeger doesn't talk about it to the football team, I could care less. Plus, when I saw the size of that thing... Actually, how the fuck are you that big man? This is like impossible to take in you know."

Armin blushed a pretty red and quickly walked off in search for a pair of shorts. "S-shut up! And you took it in last night!"

Now it was Jean's turn to blush, however he was barking out his laughter. "I did, didn't I? No wonder you were bragging about your bedroom skills."

Pulling on a random pair of shorts, Armin just shook his head. Mumbling softly, "Honestly I don't have much experience in the bedroom. I was just joking around so you can like... ya know, get off my case."

It was the honest truth. Armin had like two sexual encounters in the past and both of them were because he was drunk at some party. Well, now he can have three sexual encounters because he was drunk. If he kept going at this rate he knew he was going to have a problem.

Actually, he already had a problem with intoxicating substances.

"Why did you want me off your case?" The mattress creaked loudly as Jean got to a more comfortable position.

"Because... well." Armin stop as he stared at Jean. He really couldn't stand seeing the other boy beaten and bruised. "... I like you. I thought there was no need to complicate our relationship with my emotions. Heck, look at you now. Because I couldn't control myself drunk you... you took so many blows." Dropping onto his desk chair, the blond ran a weary hand through his hair.

Why? Why did this have to happen?! He really should have sent Jean home yesterday. Something like this was obviously going to happen. Being that it was game night, Armin knew exactly how he acted. Especially considering the fact that alcohol was going to be involved. It was always rowdy business.

Now look what he did. In a drunken haze he had sex with the guy he actually reallllly likes and blam, totally ruined the friendship that was recently made. He was actually surprised that Jean wasn't freaking out. Most likely thought Armin was too weak to handle the truth.

The thought alone made him feel ten times shittier than he already felt. He really was a disgusting scumbag. Lowest of the low.

"You know, for a smart guy, you can do some pretty stupid shit." Awh, gee. Armin sure felt better after that one. "I take it you don't remember last night all that well?"

Rubbing at his burning eyes, "No." Armin mumbled.

Jean sat there, holding the compress against his skull while staring at the orca model hanging off the ceiling. "... I wanted to suck you off. So I did... that's all that happened." there was a pause on Jean's part. "Well, kind of. I wanted to do more. A lot more actually. But we both agreed that it wasn't a good idea, being wasted as we were and all. Didn't even let you touch me, since I knew you'd regret it in the morning."

Well, Jean certainly got that one right.

"Bullshit..." Armin whispered as he eyed the other teen.

"Want to check my asshole? I'm certain it would have been torn apart by the monster between your legs."

"I'm not that big!" Armin exclaimed as he felt his cheeks flare up yet again.

"Uh huh... How big are you? Like, what? 13 inches?"

"... No... 10." Armin mumbled out as he hid his face.

"You measured your own shlong and you have the nerve to say its not that big? Pfft. Shame on you Armin. Shame on you."

"I didn't! I had... a reduction..." Burying his face into his hands, Armin had to cry out his frustrations. It was embarrassing that he had to admit such things. Jean shouldn't be learning about these things!

"Wait, you were bigger than that? What the fuck? Armin, why are you hiding that? Do you know how many girls and guys would be on you? You could be like, the biggest player in Trost High." Jean was trying so hard to contain his laughter. At least he was grinning like the jackass he can be.

"I was fainting each time I got a stiffy! Of course I … erm..." Armin sat there and stared at Jean started to laugh. Normally Armin would love to listen to Jean's laughs, but at the moment he wasn't really feeling for it. Especially since he was obviously teasing him. Narrowing his eyes, "Oh forget this. I'm getting ready to head out with Eren and Mikasa."

"Wait, wait!" Jean said hastily as the compress was tossed to the side. Sitting up, Jean motioned Armin over. The blond just stared from his perch, obviously not moving an inch. "Come here. Please... Are you really going to force an injured person to walk?"

Armin was half tempted to say yes. However he could not deny such a request when Jean was giving out his cute puppy pouts. So, with a heavy sigh, Armin wandered right on over. "What is it, Jean?"

Large, warm hands wrapped around Armin's wrists, pulling the boy down onto the mattress. There was no resistance on Armin's part. Nah, he let himself get pulled into a hug.

Rubbing his stubbly cheek against Armin's, "Sorry. I just like seeing you flustered... and I wanted to tell you to not worry about it. Whatever happened last night was because I wanted it. So quit beating yourself up over something that's not true." Soft lips pressed against Armin's cheek.

Nudging Jean with his elbow, "... You still got hurt thanks to my stupidity..."

"Shut up Armin. Its not your fault that you happen to be best friends with the biggest steroid user known in Trost High."

"Eren isn't on steroids. If he was, he'd be ten-times bulkier than he is now."

"Hrmm... true. Still, he's using something. Its the only way to explain his mood swings."

"Stop talking about my friend like that..."

"Then stop feeling sorry over shit you have no control over."

That got the blond to shut up. Wasn't it really that much out of his control? Could Armin really accept such a simple statement and be done with it all? True, the words hold some truth. But he couldn't just accept it! If he accepted such an idea then everyone would think he was taking advantage of them.

"Look... Armin." Jean began as he tightened his hold on the boy. "The morning has been hectic and you got stuff to do with your pals. I'm going to sleep here for a bit and when you get back we can talk about it some more. However," Jean stop Armin before he could ramble off his anxiety, "remember that I like you, a lot. I... I wouldn't mind for us to go out. At least give it some thought, okay?"

Go... out... give it thought? Armin stared at the other boy in stunned silence. Did he really mean that? Was he hallucinating? Pinching himself determined that this so called hallucination wasn't real.

Sighing some, Armin then nodded. "Fine. I'll... think about it. You want me to bring anything back for you? We're going to have brunch is why."

Jean shook his head and mumbled a soft, "Just a kiss." Exhaustion was already seeping into his bones.

"I got realllly nasty morning breath. You sure you want that?"

Callous fingers ran through Armin's golden locks. It was a nice feeling that made Armin feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Till those fingers curled up and yank his head back. The gasp never left his lips. If anything, Jean gobbled it up with a messy kiss. A very messy, tired kiss. Last nights partying could be tasted, even though it was stale. It didn't help that there was a hint of blood in the mix of it. It wasn't the most pleasant of tastes, however it wasn't enough to distract the boys from their activities.

There was nothing gentle about the kiss. It was possessive and hot; not to mention wet. Electrical shocks of pleasure went off whenever they touched, which happened to be everywhere. Feeling the taller boy's tongue against his own had Armin moaning and squirming against Jean's lap. Being dominated like this was to send a message of what Jean wanted. Not to mention a reminder of what had happen in the early hours of Saturday morning.

Through the haze of arousal and ecstasy, brief flashes of last night activities came to mind.

Drunk as they could ever be the two boys had stumbled into the room. Clothes were torn off and soft murmurs of objections were made on both sides. It didn't stop the friction from happening as the pair rubbed against one another.

Jean was thrown onto the bed at some point. His hands were making work on Armin's belt. Armin said something. He couldn't remember what was said, but both boys stop. Jean said something about wanting to do this. He absolutely had to do this.

Pants were off and Jean's lips were –

Pulling away from the kiss, Armin panted heavily. He couldn't continue. If he kept it up then he was going to take drastic measures. Teenage lust was hard to control. Didn't anyone understand that?! He didn't want to deal with – wait, never mind. His shorts were already suffocating the life out of his dick.

Letting out a whine, "St..stop..."

Jean grunted some and stared down at Armin. Both of their lips were swollen red and looking absolutely delicious at that very moment. "Why?"

Pulling the brunette down for a short kiss, "Because I will fuck your brains out so hard that not only will you be unable to walk correctly for the week to come, but you'll be cumming at the bare thought of it."

"..." Jean stared at the blond with a priceless expression. He was... speechless. Absolutely, stunned speechless.

And that's how Armin left him when he exited the house his friends 30 minutes later.

"So... You and Jean, eh?" Mikasa began as she drove the car down the road. It was literally a five minute drive to the resturant.

"I seriously don't get what you see in him." Eren grumbled in the back.

Armin, who took on the passenger side, chuckled nervously at the pair. He was munching onto one of his special brownies. It was a miracle that the thing even survived last night's binging. Mike almost got the last bit, but Armin was quick enough to jump on the man and bite it out of his hands. The results caused everyone in the household to laugh. Even Levi was chuckling along.

"He's not bad!" Armin stated between the mouthfuls of delicious sweet fudge baked into a lovely cake like substance. Gulping, "He's fun to be around with and I actually like him. Now stop moping about it. You don't see me complaining when I walked in on you plowing away into Annie."

"What? You're fucking that hook nose pig?" Mikasa glared at the rear view mirror.

That's right, Annie and Mikasa never got along. Its funny really when you think on it. Armin had befriended the rivals of his best pals. On top of that, Mikasa just found out about Eren banging Annie. She'd most likely share a few words with him later, once they were at home.

Armin could imagine the punches she's going to share with Annie next week at school.

"Whoa, whoa! You said you wouldn't say shit Armin. What the hell?" Eren tried with all his might to hide away from Mikasa's scrutiny. This was deemed impossible.

"I never agreed to such terms." Armin stated as he waved his hand about. This caused brownie crumbs to fall. "Plus, you now know how it will feel like when someone bashes on your choice of bed partners."

"Okay, okay! I get it. Just get Mikasa to stop glaring death at me." Huffy and pouty, that's something Eren mastered rather well.

Mikasa and Armin shared a look. This was going to be a challenge. Heck, even after years of knowing the fellow female, Armin still got uncomfortable with her creepy stares.

Still, it didn't stop Armin from offering his pot-brownie to Mikasa. "Wanna chilllllllll?"

"..." she shook her head and rode into an Ihop driveway. "I don't get why you're eating that when we're about to have brunch."

Armin shoved the rest of the treat into his mouth. He didn't want his friends to know that he was at the point where he couldn't eat anything without having the munchies. Sure he could snack. But actual eating? He couldn't get more than a few bites in before losing all sorts of desire to eat in the first place.

"Cause I'm extra hungry? Durrr." With that said, Armin threw himself out of the car.

Armin missed the shared look his friends exchanged. They knew something was up.

The restaurant was just as generic as any other Ihop you'd find across the US. Big old blue imitation of a log house with a huge logo out in front. The crowd was just as bad as any other Saturday. Luckily the wait wasn't that bad. Just ten minutes. Which meant that they got there just before the afternoon/morning rush came in.

As they waited the usual banters and name calling was shared between them. Of course Armin took a moment to observe the crowd. Being that this location was near the edge of Shiganshina, you get all sorts of crowds coming on in. The working class filled up the bar, watching the recap on the local news channel. There was families scattered all over the place, trying to control their children. Man, there was a set of twins smashing their pancakes to bits. The parents obviously didn't give a fuck since they were busy discussing whatever the hell they deemed more important.

Saturday was obviously not the day to bring your girlfriend to an Ihop. Armin felt bad for the guy that got a smack across the face. Another couple laughed and cheered at the action. Thankfully the manager was there to dispute any sort of fights from breaking out.

The trio of pals were lucky to snag their usual booth. With how crowded it was, it can be hard to grab their most favored spot in the whole restaurant. It was a circular booth that was tucked away in the corner. It gave them a view of the whole restaurant so that they can comment and share a few inside jokes at what was happening in the establishment. Yes. They like talking shit about dumb shit that was happening around them.

The usual was ordered. Jelly donut pancakes for Eren. Garden omelette for Mikasa. Armin on the other hand got chicken and waffles with a side order of mozzarella sticks to share with the pair. Yes, Armin was having some chicken and wafffles. The best of two worlds combined.

Plus it was the best choice for brunch!

"I am curious as to what happened last night. The whole place is trashed and Levi isn't going nuts." Mikasa began once they got their drinks.

From what Armin could remember, the house wasn't that much of a mess. Though compared to normal... It was a definitely considered as such. Bottles of beer and cheap whiskey were left on the coffee table along with some articles of clothing. The kitchen sink was filled with dishes and the trash hasn't been taken out. The only thing that made it more out of place was the fact that there was a Liverpool banner hung up in the middle of the room.

"Levi lost the bet. He has to deal with a whole day of not cleaning. We got betting pools on when he would crack." Taking out his smartphone, the time shown that it barely past noon. It was that early? Sheesh. "I say sometime around mid-afternoon he'll start cracking."

"I'm shocked he hasn't broken down into a homicidal rage yet." Eren stated over his soda. The next booth over a child was trying their best to snag onto Eren's hair. It had gotten longest recently.

"Not everyone could be you Eren." Mikasa hid her smirk behind her mug of coffee. Her gaze would often shift over to the child. Would the little one be able to snag onto Eren's hair?

Not missing a beat, Armin clicked his 'rimshot' sound widget. Eren and Mikasa stared at Armin for a full 10 seconds before breaking into a fit of laughter. It was perfect timing on his part. Armin couldn't help but join in on the laughter as well.

"You two have been bigger pricks to me than normal. What gives?" Eren complained with a grin.

"I don't think we can get bigger than the one in Armin's pants." Oh no. Oh hellllll no. Mikasa did not just say that!

Glaring at the female, "Oh, ha ha. I swear, you two are an absolute riot."

Mikasa leaned back against the booth as she looked over Armin. "Its just going to be the biggest mystery to life." she held a hand up just as Armin was about to rebuttal the statement. "No, seriously. You're 163 centimeters tall with a 10 inch penis resting on your balls. Now please explain what is wrong with this image."

Armin didn't know if he should be scared or laughing at the fact that Mikasa managed to state all of that with a straight expression.

It was scary to know how much control Mikasa had over her body. Seriously, think about it. The fact that she could sit there and keep a serious tone as she says the most absurd things that come to mind is unnerving because she could be basically lying right in your face and you'd think she was telling the truth. You couldn't doubt her tone. It was almost impossible to doubt her tone. Heck, you have to wonder how a polygraph test would go. She'd most likely break the damn thing.

Smacking the table in laughter, Eren just shook his head and tried to keep his voice down. But that was like asking for the second coming of Christ right then and there. At least the child was pulled away before any damage was dealt. The little one was really close to those strands of hair.

"Lawwwrdy. Oh lawrddeeehh." Eren laughed out, "You can't deny what is between yo legs, boi."

Pinching at the bridge of his nose, Armin sighed heavily. At times he felt as though his blessing on having the best of friends ever, was also a curse.

"... Eren..."

"What?"

"Don't drop that durka durk."

"..." Eren narrowed his eyes and tried to keep a straight face. Sadly he was not Mikasa. "... Ayyy~"

"Don't drop that durka durk!" they sang out in union.

The boys ended up laughing as Mikasa watched with a smile. She even mumbled a soft, "You two are idiots."

"We're your loveable idiots." Eren stated as he leaned against the female. Turning his gaze over to Armin, "Since we were talking about the Monster, I have to ask. Did Jean really try to take that one on?"

"No." Armin stated in a dry manner. "We were both wasted, but we didn't do anything. Just strip and went to sleep." It was the partial truth. There was no need to tell them what happened in between it all. Sadly it didn't stop the blush from rising onto his cheeks.

"Did you bring Jean over to do the assignment or just try to catch him naked?" Mikasa looked over her empty mug of coffee before glancing at Eren's drink. She swiped his drink before requesting a refill.

"I swear. You two won't get off my back till you get the whole story..." He got nods for this one. Sighing heavily, "We picked up Hanji on the way over to the house and she reminded me of the game. We got the assignment done and we told Jean to stick around to watch the fun. Ummm... you know how we get at the house."

Mikasa and Eren raised a brow with an all knowing smirk plastered onto their face.

"So, um... we watched the game. Introduced Jean to the bong and he was on top of that like Levi on Commander Eyebrow's shlong. Mike came around the start of the first half with beers and pizzas. Petra eventually came around with Molbit. We trashed the hash brownies. Like, literally, trashed them. We had the usual drinking game and got Jean to join in." There wasn't much effort needed to drag Jean into the drinking, now that Armin thought on it. "Basically we just had fun and then the game ended. Livershitters won. I went off to Kenny's to do a striptease while singing those scousers anthem."

Mikasa winced at that one. "Really? I knew you had a few screws loose, but I wouldn't expect you to pull that one off."

Armin had more than just a few screws loose. Then again, all three of them combined needed some sort of psychological treatment. Give it a few years and eventually they'd be sharing the same mental ward.

"I lost the bet." Armin stated as he looked over his mug of tea. "Thankfully that beer bottle didn't leave a bump."

"Where the heck was Jean during all of this?" Eren asked this as he moved his drinks aside for the waiter.

Once the food was laid out, Armin continued on with his story. "Hanji forced him to join me, since he was rooting for the wining team."

"He was rooting for those shitbags?" Mikasa raised a brow at this.

Why did that sound so familiar?

Frowning some, Armin bit onto one of his cheese sticks. He thought on it... and thought. Then, just like a light bulb being switched on, it came to mind. "Now I remember! I told him to suck my dick for rooting for those scourser shitbags. Fuck, that was good head..." Armin didn't realize what he just said till he heard a loud gasp of surprise from the table behind him.

A quick glance shown that a mother of two was glaring at him. Thank god the little ones were too young to understand the words, otherwise he would be in a whole world of pain. You really had to see how she was holding that fork. Looked like she was ready to stab Armin in the face with it.

Thank god Armin was feeling the buzz come on. At least he'd be high as a kite when she gorged out his eyes.

Eren was choking on his pancakes. Luckily Mikasa was there to shove the glass of soda down his throat. You know, Armin was very happy Eren was choking on his pancakes. Its what he deserved for asking all those questions earlier.

"You said you two only got naked and went to sleep." Mikasa stated as she sent a glare to the mother at the next table over. Armin didn't have to turn around and see the look of horror on the woman's face. He already heard the squeaks of fear... plus, you can smell it in the air.

No wait... That was bacon. You can smell the bacon in the air!

Slumping back against the booth seat, Armin slowly sunk down. "... Yeah. Naked and eventually we fell asleep... and stuff..."

She smirked some at that. "Was it good?"

"... Really Mikasa? You know what, I'll just make some amateur porn for you. Make it all official with its on DVD box and all that jizz. Would that make you feel better?"

Mikasa raised a brow at the choice of words. Though, she didn't comment on them. Just stated the obvious thing she could state. "No. But I am certain Eren would accept it with open arms and a bottle of lotion."

"Don't get me involved in this!" The boy huffed out before turning to his friend. "Oh, by the way Armin. Monday both our History and English papers are due. You know, the 10 page papers."

Armin groaned in defeat. There was no way that he going to survive this weekend. He ended up hiding underneath the table not only due to embarrassment but of the simple fact that he would most likely not be able to get anything done on time this weekend.

He really regretted being irresponsible during game night.

I hope you enjoy all this craziness and once more, I'm sorry for the shortness of the chapter. I'll make it up for the next one. Read and Review you guys. Let me know if I went a bit to overboard with the crack. ^^;