Empty Spaces Chapter 14
Piper's POV leaving the hospital.
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Piper waasn't really sure how long it had been since her meeting with Figeuroa and Caputo. When she'd awoken next she was alone for the first time she could remember since they'd first brought her here. It felt as though it were the middle of the night but it was impossible to say for sure without any windows. The silence was broken periodicaly by the beeping of the monitors around her but the usual shuffle of hospital staff was absent from her small room. Her body ached as though she'd just finished a marathon, and there was a pounding in her head that made her whimper softly into the empty room.
Memories of her meeting with the prison officials came back easily. Not the good ones where Healy got his due and she got off easy, the ones where she was a killer. The ones where blood flowed and bones cracked while she beat someone to death with her bare hands. She didn't understand how it could possibly be real. It might be one thing if it had been some kind accident, even some kind of a lucky shot with the screwdriver that just managed to save her ass. This though, how could beating someone to death possibly be an accident.
The doctors and nurses came back to find her wracked with tears and nearing hysterics. They gave her a shot of something and she drifted back off to that nowhere place she was coming to know so well. She hadn't woken up alone since, she was sure she had scared them somehow but just couldn't find the energy to care. It might have had something to do with the steady stream of medicines flowing into her arm through a tube, but she doubted it. This is just what it was to have nothing and nobody.
There was no going back to that happy little safe existence she'd tried to force with Larry, it was good he had ended things when he did. No room for murderers at the yuppie cocktail party. She couldn't imagine what crazy story her mother would have to come up with to erase their humiliation of a daughter from their lives. Maybe some exotic disease from Africa. She could see Polly trying to stick by her but it just wouldn't be fair to let her. She had a family that she needed to be focusing on and Piper's personal disasters only seamed to be getting more dangerous as she got older. There was no way she'd ever be able to hold Finn, not now that she knew what those hands were capable of.
She couldn't run away and embace her dark side with Alex either. The brunette had made her point perfectly clear, that door was closed to her now and always. She'd played with the woman's heart too many times already. It was just too hard free falling through life with someone you couldn't trust to catch you. She hadn't been strong enough to stand up for what she really wanted while there was still a chance, and now it was way too late. She'd moved on to Nicky and Piper couldn't blame her. She might not set her ex on fire the way the blonde always had, but she wouldn't play with her heart either.
She always thought that rock bottom was reserved for junkies and addicts, but in a way she supposed that almost fit, She was an emotional user. She'd lure them in boys and girls alike, with her pretty blonde hair and her wide blue eyes. They were her fix. She'd weave them into her web of never ending drama and suck out everything good inside. Leave them broken and useless for someone else to try and fix.
The doctors were sending her back today and she wasn't quite sure how to deal with that. Seeing the faces of Tiffany's friends, the place in the snow where she'd snuffed her out. She was pretty sure killing somebody made her enough of a bad ass that she didn't have to worry anybody trying anything. She was pretty sure that should fall on the good side of the spectrum, but it was hard to get excited about much of anything these days.
She was pulled from her thoughts as the doctor came in again, they were disconnecting her from the various machines and tubes, That meant it was time, she felt the fear swirling up inside her again. She wasn't ready to go back and face what she'd done, what she was still capable of. This time though they'd seamed to anticipate her reaction and another needle full of clear liquid was floating her away into darkness.