1899
"Millions of people homeless! Impending war! Alien attack! War with homeless aliens?" Jack Kelly finished weakly, feeling the tiredness seep into his bones like a deep, penetrating sickness. Today was one of those days when he didn't feel like schlepping around in multiple layers of clothing, sweating profusely and swearing loudly just to earn his face a way into a corned beef on rye at Tibby's.
One of the new kids- Dave or Les- ran up to him. "Three papers, Jack, three! One after the other! Three!" yelled an excited, little kid-like voice behind him that Jack thought was Les' before he turned around and saw David.
"Three. Three papes. Three cents. Wow." said Jack, mumbling slightly through his thick accent that you know plenty about if you're reading this.
"Well, sorry, I'm just glad I'm doing a little business for a change. Les has his littleness, you have your experience, and I'm left scrambling for the passersby that you guys didn't already get!" Dave said with a slight, friendly laugh.
"You're makin' money either way, so don't gecha brain in a knot." Jack declared decisively. "It's your best feature."
The boys, kidding of course, were just joking, but Jack really was in a worse mood than usual. Davey looked a little hurt by his remarks, so Jack figured he better apologize, and/or pretend to.
"L:isten- sorry. Bein' a newsie's like bein' a- like bein' a fish. You do the same thing, every day, while people look atcha like youse some kinda animal too stupid to think in English. Too stupid to care. Too stupid to breathe without thinking so hard you might explode. So they walk on by, tappin' the glass a little here, tossin' in food a little there, but it's just a telegram you read over and over and over again."
David looked like a boar had just lumbered up and vomited a sapphire into his shoe. Jack? Has a brain? Woah. Mind blown.
"I- I'm sorry. I didn't know how bad things were for a while. But hey, we're all in this-"
At that moment, a strangely dressed man that looked like Kloppman if he lived 40 years longer stepped up to the pair of boys.
"Hello, sirs. I was wondering if you would be interested in accepting a job offer. You are newsboys, correct?"
The man was Albus Percival Wulferic Brian Dumbledore. And boy, did he have a proposition.