Chapter 41:

After a little while, though, I heard the voices of Thorin and Bilbo, and maybe a few other dwarves coming closer to us. I gave a soft little push on Kili's chest, and he stood up, bringing me with him, and gently set me on my feet.

I sniffed a little, then reached for the mound of gold behind us, fingering a few of the coins. "Kili," I murmured, "I have a question."

He cast me a dry look. "I'm sure you do."

I jerked the side of my mouth up in a half-smile. "Yeah, you know me. Curiosity and stuff. But seriously - if there's so much stuff here, why can't Thorin just share it?"

Kili frowned. "I - it belongs to the dwarves," he said, but he sounded uncertain.

"Not all of it," I pointed out. "Smaug looted other places, too, and brought the stuff here. Some of this has to be Dale's, at least."

His frown deepened. "I don't know, then, Freya."

I bit my tongue to keep from replying, It's because your uncle's a selfish git who never learned to share in kindergarten, because somehow I doubted that would go over well.

Just then Thorin rounded the corner and caught sight of us. "Why have you not taken something, Freya?"

I hesitated before replying, "Um, I didn't know I could?" I wanted to reply that I had all I needed, but somehow I thought that would be rude.

Thorin swept his arm around, and it reminded me forcibly of what Smaug had done with his tail, inviting me to talk. "Take what you wish. You may have as much as you wish - you have saved our lives many a time."

But his look made it clear that I should not take "as much as I wished." Probably more like five pieces of treasure, judging by the shape of his hand.

I inclined my head. "Thanks, Thorin."

He nodded in return, and I closed my hand around Kili's arm and pulled him away, bringing him over to a few mounds of treasure away. I started rooting around, looking for things. I closed my hand around a few interesting-looking bracelets - one of silver, one of bronze, and one of gold. I slid them onto my wrist, admiring them.

Kili gave me a strange look. "You don't really seem like one for jewellery, Frey."

I shrugged. "Doesn't mean I don't like pretty things."

Next, though, I found a gorgeous pair of leather gauntlets, which I immediately put on over my fingerless gloves. Finally, I went over the wall of instruments and plucked a violin off of it, with the bow as well. I carefully tuned it, used my magic to clean it and fix any broken parts, and tightened the horsehair on the bow. I smiled at the instrument and lifted it to my shoulder.

I began to play the Doctor Who theme song, then moved into other songs that had come up during the series. Then I slid into the Sherlock theme, and the Star Trek theme, then moved to the Shire theme from the Lord of the Rings films, moving on to the other music (including "Concerning Hobbits," a personal favourite) and continuing with the song that always began the films. Then I ended playing actual music from the Hobbit film, all of the instrumental music I could remember. At some point, I started humming along, and walking around in circles, moving in time to the music.

When I lowered the instrument, hearing a ringing in my ears from the proximity of the strings to them, I heard the last echoes of the violin on the final note from the song, and then nothing but ringing silence. It was one of those moments when silence seemed louder than any noise. All around me were dwarves who had migrated from where they had been to a broken, ragged circle ranged around me, listening to the music with perplexity, but enjoyment.

Blushing, I ducked my head and began looking for a case for the thing. It was more than definitely going to become my final piece of treasure.

I glanced up when Kili passed me a wooden case that was the exact shape of the gorgeous instrument in my hands. I looked around to see the others dispersing.

I carefully took the case and fitted the violin into it, as well as the bow, and said quietly, "Thanks."

He was giving me a look that closely resembled awe. "That was amazing, Frey. I didn't know you could play music," he said.

I shrugged. "You knew I could sing," I pointed out.

He replied with a shrug that was more in his shoulder-blades than his shoulders themselves. "Yeah, but playing a violin is kinda different."

I smirked. "You think it's sexy, don't you?"

He replied by simply quirking an eyebrow, and I laughed.

Not too long afterward, Thorin led us to the "surface" (it was just more caves to me) and I started to wonder just how much dwarf came out in me. After all, I didn't particularly enjoy being underground, and I wasn't staring about avidly like the other dwarves, tapping on walls if there was a vein of whatever-the-hell-gemstone-or-precious-metal, acting like kids in a candy shop whose parents had given them a credit card and told them to by whatever and however much they wanted.

Bilbo and I acted like the only sane ones, and at one point I barely refrained from slapping Kili to his senses - this new, very dwarfish version of him, running his fingers along the walls and murmuring aloud the species of stones we passed and adding their worth to the mess, scared me, made me feel like he was gone, to somewhere I couldn't follow him.

We finally reached the main hall again, which led out to the gate. I gratefully flopped into a sitting position and pulled out my violin again. Almost immediately, to my immense surprise, the dwarves stopped touching rocks and turned to look at me.

Kili looked at me, as well, and I quietly asked him, "What should I play?"

He shrugged and replied, "Something where you sing along."

I thought for a moment, then lifted the instrument and then began to play "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons, before moving on "Wake Me Up" by Avicii, then going to "Misty Mountains" and ending with the song that Pippin sang to Denethor in the film Return of the King, sometimes known as "Edge of Night."At some point I stood up and began the walking thing again, and sang along with rather childish abandon, a tiny smile reaching my mouth as I made the strings dance.

To my surprise, when I was halfway through "Misty Mountains," Kili started singing with me, and continued to sing on "Edge of Night."

Finished, I lowered the instrument, hearing again the fading echoes of the last note, this time my voice and Kili's echoing along with it: "Fade..."

As with before, I ducked my head, slightly embarrassed as the dwarves dispersed.

Kili looked oddly pleased about something, but I was actually too tired to talk to him, so I just sleepily pulled out a blanket, bunched up my cloak as a pillow, and fell asleep.

Later that night, I woke up with a start to find Kili curled up next to me, awkwardly leaning against the wall in a position that suggested that he had decided to keep watch over me while I slept. Which I personally thought was highly unnecessary, but very endearing.

Then I saw a little glowing light near the entrance to the cave, and I sighed. It was Bilbo, I was certain, and I quietly dug in my backpack until I found the Hobbit, which I then opened. With a sick feeling of dread, I read that Bilbo had stolen the Arkenstone (something which had completely slipped my mind) and was taking it to the people of Lake-town.

I swallowed, and then shoved the book back into my backpack and leaned against the wall. You can't do anything this time, my brain insisted. You can't change anything this time. Bilbo's choice is Bilbo's choice, and you can't fix it or make it better or even go with him. This is too important for you to make a shit-storm out of.

I sighed softly. There were many times when I just wished that things would be simple again.

The next day, Bilbo was back and acting decidedly shifty. Thorin announced that we were going to "spruce the place up a bit" (my words, not his) and we all started moving shit around inside the giant ugly caverns.

Fili, Ori, Bofur, Kili and I were working in one of the smaller areas, and I pulled Kili aside into a teeny tiny cave. He looked questioningly at me and I said softly, "Listen to me."

"What's wrong?" he asked, just as quietly.

"I don't feel like a dwarf," I replied in a murmur, tucking my hands under my upper arms and hugging my forearms to my stomach.

He raised an eyebrow. "What d'you mean?"

I cast him an exasperated look. "I hate this place," I snapped. "Well, not hate," I amended myself. "I like it, I do - it's just, I want to be outside, in woods, near rivers, near the ocean. I want to smell the air, climb trees, listen to animals make noise and birds chitter - I want to ride Moonshadow as far as he'll let me and as fast as he can go, I want to feel the wind on my face - and I can't do any of that in this fucking mountain!" I actually stamped my foot in frustration. "I don't feel like a dwarf. You and the others were doing your weird, 'I'm gonna touch all the rocks' thing, and I was just sort of walking awkwardly behind you guys with Bilbo."

Kili stared at me. "You mean - the rocks don't do that?"

"Do what?"

Kili wasn't really paying attention. "Freya, I can hear them whispering. Whenever I walk by a stone or a vein of precious gems, I can hear them singing to me, calling to me, telling me to pluck them out of the rock and make them beautiful again." He looked down at me, his eyes shining, and then it faded slightly as he frowned. "You can't do that?"

I felt a pang as I looked at his expression, and I banged my fist against the wall near my head. "No!" I growled frustratedly, and for a moment I wondered why. But then it hit me - it was because Kili and the other dwarves could do something I couldn't. They had this little world all to themselves, somewhere I couldn't follow, and I felt that loss deeply. "I can't do your little magic trick with rocks, Kili, and -"

Kili sighed and placed his gloved hand over my mouth. "Shut up, Freya," he advised.

My eyes bulged over his hand, and while I could have shoved it away, I simply gave him an angry look that said, If you don't take this hand away, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life.

Surprisingly, he actually replied to the look: "I'll take that chance. I think, Freya, that you're over-thinking this. You don't need to define yourself like us non-human hybrids, or whatever-the-hell-you-call-yourself. You've got magic! You could send out a little spell or something, I'm sure, and tell exactly what we can tell by instinct. You've got better instincts than almost anybody I have ever met, and you're certainly the best fighter, and so much more, so why do you want to be just like us? We don't want you to be."

I deflated a little, and he pulled his hand away. "Two things," I said. "One - Thank you. For that. I never - I never thought about it like that." I swallowed and took a deep breath, leaning against the wall of our little cave. "Second thing. I think you just read my mind."

And here we are. Battle's comin' up fast.