Dring. Dring.
The light on my clock hurt my eyes as I squinted to see what the time was. Ugh. It was only half past seven. Clearly I had forgotten to switch off my alarm, for my lie in that Saturday morning.
Not that it would have been much of a lie in anyway, I had barely slept, and as I could see from the reflection in the television in front of my bed, I looked terrible.
I grabbed a cup of tea from the kitchen and placed it onto the contact card that that weird bloke had given to me the night before, (Thanks Edgar, for that handy makeshift coaster!) wondering whether I should go and right my wrongs.
You see, that was the reason why I had lain awake, tossing and turning all of the night. I knew that what I had done was pretty awful, on the scale of mean things to do to a friend. I mean, even if I was annoyed at myself for getting carried away and coming close to believing in all sorts of rubbish, there had been no need to rip up Fi's book.
Even when she was alive, to do something like that would have at least have earned me a day of being ignored, or a fight over BBM, or maybe an indirect status or tweet about how bad a friend I was. I would have expected nothing less, just as if she had done something similar to me. But now that she was dead...it was like an insult to her memory or something.
As I sat there, sipping my tea, I remembered snatches of the fragmented dream I had had, feeling worse and worse each second.
I walked up the escalator of Topshop...why was I walking? Oh, it was out of order. Never mind, at least it was a bit of exercise. I spotted the dress I had been dying to buy for so long...
Then the dream had jumped forwards.
Suddenly I was standing in the changing rooms, wearing that gorgeous dress, and I heard a knock at the door. It was Fi, holding the exact same dress in her hands.
"What are you doing? This is mine, I already have it." she gave me a weird look.
I suddenly felt annoyed at myself for wanting it, looking in the mirror I decided it was ugly, it looked all wrong.
"It's vile. Why did you waste your money on that? It was forty pounds. Who spends forty pounds on an ugly dress?"
Grabbing it from her I tore the material and ripped it into tiny little pieces.
Fi stared at me, for a very long time, until she finally spoke, clearly and simply.
"Because I knew how much you liked it, and I was going to let you borrow it."
Even as I recalled it I felt sick inside. I had to go and...what? Hope that the book would still be there? It was worth a shot.
I was halfway to the alley when my phone buzzed. It was a text from Carmel, who, like most of my friends, had hardly spoke to me since- "Anyway, Sinead. Lets see what it says." I told myself.
"Hey. D'you want to go into town today? Haven't seen you in ages, lol. Usual time (11), alright? If you're not busy of course. C xxx" I smiled to myself as I read it.
"Sure thing babe. I need to buy that dress from Topshop! Outside the metro stop, yeah? Can't wait. Xxx" I replied.
"Aw, that was nice of her." I thought, still smiling. Her text seemed to have instantly in a better mood. That was what friends were for, after all. "I haven't been out anywhere in ages. That's my plan for the day sorted. I just need to nip into the alley and check whether those pages are still there, which I doubt, and then I can run and get the bus."
For as I looked at my phone it was fast approaching half ten. I would have to be speedy if I wanted to get to town on time-well-early enough so that I could be waiting casually at the metro stop with a starbucks coffee cup in my hand by the time Carmel arrived.
I put my phone back into my bag, and as I did so the sharp edge of Edgar's card spiked my hand.
"Ow." I muttered. "Why did I even pick that up, anyway?" I looked over at the bin across the road, meaning to run across and drop it in there, but it was too much effort. Meh. It wasn't important. It could just live in my bag with my empty gum packets, reciepts and bus tickets.
Finally, its a bit longer, wooo! XD
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