Empty Spaces Chapter 19
Alex's POV getting out of SHU
Sorry this update took so long, this one tried to get away from me. Next chapter will be picking right up from here though, hopefully it will be up soon.
Alex had gotten lucky, her bid to see Piper had only cost her about a week or so in the SHU near as she could tell. It was hard to judge the passing of time in those tiny little concrete boxes. With the ever present lights and the complete lack of windows the only way to tell one day from the next was the arrival of the meals she had mostly refused to eat. She'd been half tempted to scratch the passing days into the concrete wall by her bunk, but the vague fear that the action might cost her more time locked up here away from her love allowed the thought to pass. Each second spent sequestered in that hole had been absolute agony on her already frazzled mind, and the roar of angry screams that had accosted her each minute had shown her she wasn't alone in that.
There were a large number of furious female inmates screaming their frustrations in those cells still as her feet started carrying her away from SHU of their own volition. They hadn't been as lucky as Alex, though she had a strong suspicion the only reason she was out so soon was because Caputo knew his charges well enough to know that Alex would have done anything to get into that infirmary. Even pay Big Boo a couple of snickers bars to crack her ribs and give her a bloody nose. She didn't doubt he'd been told how many times she'd snuck over to Piper's bunk to try to talk to her. Aside from her own fake fight the prison official had been true to his word when he'd said that there would be zero tolerance for violent outbursts. All of the inmates who hadn't quite believed him were still locked up in their own concrete boxes. Alex knew she wouldn't be able to risk that plan again, it was just as easy to get thrown in the hole these days as it was to get a shot.
The overly harsh reaction shouldn't have been a surprise to any of the seasoned inmates though, Litchfield had been under an unusually high amount of media scrutiny as of late. None of the scared straight parents had sued which was a big relief for the prison. That didn't mean that the incidents had gone by unnoticed by any means. No the press had been keeping tabs on their sleepy little prison, and after the fight between two inmates had ended with another death the press had had themselves a field day. They'd been camped out just outside the prison gates for weeks now, and with the plethora of mourners and protesters who had shown up for them to feed on there was no end in sight. Many inmates had taken to watching the show while out in the yard, but that only led Alex's mind back to thoughts of Tiffany and Piper.
The more she thought about the two women whose lives had been so completely destroyed, the more her certainty grew that this whole mess was her own fault. It had been Alex who had kicked off the feud with Pennsatucky, threatening her in the laundry room. It had also been she who had escalated it, convincing the bible beater that she had healing powers. She could actually remember thinking Piper weak for throwing herself on Caputo's mercy and confessing to Alex's crimes, though it wasn't like that was even a first. She thought things had changed between them after Tiffany was released from psych, but it obviously hadn't lasted long. There wasn't a soul walking these halls that would dare to call the blonde weak now, even in her current physical state.
Her thoughts on the whole situation were still scattered, she still couldn't imagine how her skinny blonde ex had found the strength to do that kind of damage to anyone. She'd had to fight back an innapropriate chuckle when she'd remembered that Pennsatucky had been a pro life advocate, there hadn't been anyone around to hear her it just wasn't funny. She couldn't imagine finding anything funny, still haunted by the short amount of time she'd managed to spend in the blondes company. The devastation she'd seen written across that face, the cold dead feel of her skin when she'd tried to touch her. Just how much the blondes loss of control had cost her, only time would tell. The haunted look she'd seen behind those clear blue eyes still had her unsettled.
The biggest downside to her stay in SHU was that yet another week had passed while she'd had to cool her heels waiting for another chance to see Piper. Knowing just how bad off the blonde was, knowing she was so close and not being able to help somehow had almost been the brunettes undoing. She couldn't say how many times she'd paced the length of her dingy little cell, her thoughts swirling endlessly around the blonde in question though that wasn't exactly new. From the moment she'd met Piper the blonde had been crashing through her mind like a tornado, she was still surprised at just how much the blonde had gotten to her.
Thinking about all the time they'd spent together both before and now she found herself missing the blonde fiercely. Everything from the catch in her laugh to the way she'd fit so perfectly wrapped up in Alex's arms after a particularly long day. She had expected Piper to change after all of their time spent apart, it's just what always seemed to happen, people grow with time and experience. The brunette had been surprised to find that the blonde was still essentially the same, even in prison. If anything her ex had gone back to hiding the more interesting parts of who she was. The parts that Alex had always managed to draw out of her so effortlessly with one of her mischievous grins or lingering gaze. The brunette had always loved the way a singly finger drawn lightly up the blondes spine would completely unglue her.
This new situation was wholly different from all the trouble and shenanigans they'd gotten themselves into before. She'd looked into her lovers eyes and all those little pieces of Piper that had meant so much to her before were just plain gone from them now. Mere echoes lingered of the joy and mischief that used to reside there. Replaced instead with indelible images of horror and viloence, after images of the blood red rage she'd released that night into the ice and snow. It had taken days to get the mess that the blonde had left behind that night properly cleaned up, removing the stain it had left on her lover's soul was going to take so much more.
The first problem that was going to have to be dealt with was her inability to get to the woman she so desperately needed to see. Inmate visitation to the infirmary wasn't exactly standard procedure, but there had to be some way to manage it. Alex wasn't entirely sure how she was going to help the blonde, a small part of her wished it could be as simple as holding her in her arms like she used to, but knew that that simply wouldn't be enough this time. Whatever it took though, she knew she had to get in to see Piper, she'd gotten a good look at the broken woman lying in sick and knew she wouldn't be out anytime soon.
Her thoughts circled back around and around as her feet carried her steadily to the object of her focus. She longed to be able to take those hands in her own again, long fingers interwoven with each others. To gaze into those deep blue pools and see the love she felt reflected back in them again. There were the simple pleasures that had kept her world spinning so long ago. Even after the blonde had left her heart broken in that Paris flat all it would have taked was the touch of her hand and that look in her eye to set everything right again. She found herself now standing before the doors of the prison infirmary trying to decide on her course of action.
She supposed she could just sort of pop in see if they could look at her ribs, rewrap them or something totally legitimate like that. They were healing all right she knew that well enough, but the bruising was still looking pretty nasty just the same. The worst that could happen would be getting sent away and finding herself right back here where she'd started again. It definitely wasn't any kind of long term plan but that could wait for later, the brunette knew there would be all kinds of time later to work on the long game. Right now all that mattered was getting in to see the blonde again, it had been nearly a month since Christmas and the few minutes she'd managed to spend at the blondes side since then just hadn't been enough.
With that clear thought at the forefront of her mind she stepped up to she door and grabbed the handle, sweaty palms sliding a little as she did so. She walked toward the desk making sure to favor her injured side just for the sake of show. She muttered something to the nurse at the dessk about some lingering pain in her ribs, but her attention was already elsewhere. As always she'd managed to pick out Piper from across the room, drawn like a moth to a flame, but as of yet still unable to reach her. The nurse stood leading her to the beds just beyond the blonde and she didn't have to fake the pained expression at seeing her lying there unchanged. Still lost behind her own eyes in a swirling sea of pain.