Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the Character's. All hail to Kurt Sutter, who does.
Since the last chapter was a bit shorter than they usually are, I'm compensating by not letting you wait for the next.
As always; I'm extremely thankful for all your support, favs, alerts and above all; Reviews! I love them!
Chapter 17: Did you drive here?
Ava quickly walked through the library and closed the door to her office and sat down and breathed for a while. She took another few breaths and went to work. She had loads to do that day and started off with the orders. She had about an hour until one of the seller would arrive in a couple of hours and she needed to calm down.
The representative, a man who insisted that she called him Marcus, also insisted on buying her lunch so they walked to a restaurant on Main Street. It was a civil lunch, they talked about literature and upcoming big releases and in general what favorite books they had. When they were done, he left her outside the restaurant and she walked back to the library.
"How was the lunch?" James said when they met in front of the reception.
"Fine." She sighed, it had been nice but part of her brain was completely focused on Happy.
"The police has been here looking for you. I told them you'd be back in about an hour. Said they'd be back later in the afternoon."
Great, another thing for her brain to keep focus on. This day was getting worse by the minute. "Ok. Thank you."
She had tried to call both Tara and Gemma but none of them had picket up their phone. Something that seemed understandable considering the circumstances, but she was still worried.
"Wanna tell me who the fuck you were having dinner with?" She jumped when she heard the voice and turned around to see Happy in an armchair.
"Lunch." She corrected him. "Marcus Coleman. He's a seller for a couple of publishing house."
"And he bought you lunch?"
"Yes." She sighed. She could see where this was going. "Just follow me to the office."
Happy got out of the chair and followed her. She went inside and put her handbag on her desk and turned around.
"Why did he do that?" Happy asked and he looked pissed. She wondered how he had known that she had been to lunch with Marcus.
"They do that. They come here, talk about upcoming releases and then, quite often, buy lunch or dinner." Happy still looked pissed. "Can you please tell me what's really bothering you."
"Is he one of them?"
"One of what?" She had no idea what he was talking about. If Marcus was one of the sellers or... what?
"That you wanna fuck when I'm inside."
"No." She sat down on her desk. "God damn it, Happy. There is no-one else I want to be with."
"Then what's the fucking problem?"
"I kind of wished you had the same feeling." She got up again and wanted the discussion to end. She didn't want to do this at work. "I've been trying to call Gemma and Tara."
"You won't be able to talk to Gemma for a while and Tara is probably being questioned by the police." He was still staring at her.
"They've been here, looking for me as well. They were going to come back later this afternoon."
"Who?"
"The police. I don't know who." She sighed and for the thousand time that day collected the hair in the back of her neck and twisted it in an attempt to keep it there. She had been so pissed in the morning that she forgot to put it up. "I need to work. I have a class coming here in the afternoon and I've got things to fix before that."
He nodded and walked up to her. "I don't."
"Happy, you're doing it again."
"Doing what?" He said and by now he was just in front of her.
"Using to few words for me to understand what it is you're trying to say."
He was just standing there, he didn't touch her but was about as close as he could be without doing it. "I don't want to fuck others."
"While you're inside."
"No. Or right now."
"Well, to quote you; then what is the fucking problem?" She was tired and worried. Not just about Happy, about everything else as well and it was a busy day for her.
He suddenly smiled. "I might change my mind."
"Then leave me and you can fuck whoever you want." She wasn't smiling, she didn't find it even remotely funny or charming. "I need to work. I'll call Mary to pick up Grace."
"You seemed ok with it this morning."
"I wasn't 'ok' with it. I didn't think you'd agree too it and I still don't." She backed up and walked passed him to open the door to the office.
That fucking did it for Happy. Walking by him and opening the door! Like he was some kid she could just send out. He took a few huge steps and closed the door again and pressed her up against the wall.
"What are you saying?"
"I don't know. I'm tired, stressed out about all this shit. I still don't understand the rules about this. The club, you and me. I love you, but no matter what I said this morning..."
"What?" If she didn't mean it why did she say it? Happy didn't understand any of this.
"It hurts."
"What hurts?"
"That you're having sex with others." What the fuck was she thinking? When the hell would he have time to do that? Or the fucking energy?
"I'm not." She was looking down on her shoes. "Look at me." She turned her eyes to him. "I'm not."
"Ok." He wasn't sure if she believed him. They would have to get back to that but his wasn't the time of the place. And he was too pissed and they it was her work.
"There's a lot of shit going on."
"I know."
He leaned closer, holding her jaw and hip. "I'll stick to you. I'm not going to argue with you about this now and considering the amount of fucks you're requiring right now it's not like I could even get it up with anyone else."
She finally gave him a smile, even if it was a tired one. "Ok."
"Hey. I'm new to this. I don't... do this. Girlfriends or Old Ladies."
"Ok." There was a lot of 'ok's coming out of her mouth and he didn't think she was. Ok.
"We'll figure this out." She just nodded and she looked... sad. "If it makes you happier Grace is pissed at me as well."
"It does." She was still just standing there.
"Fuck! Ava, just tell me what to do."
"I don't know. Just... give me some time. Ok?" He was pissed again. Fucking hell, this was why he fucked bitches and sent them out.
"How? Want me to stay the fuck away?"
"Happy! I have have no idea! Just... Fuck!" She wasn't screaming, but she never did. Something he sometimes wish she did. It would make it easier. This calm anger was freaking him out. The word 'fuck' rarely did come out of her mouth though, unless she asked him to do it. But it had the last few minutes. "I don't know, Happy. Can we do this later? I'm... I'm to tired to even know what I'm saying and you're so wired up we're not going to solve anything right now."
"I'm not staying away."
"Then don't." She looked up at him and put her hand on his cheek. "I like having you around."
He leaned down and gave her a kiss. There was no fucking way in hell he was going to stay away. He was going to stay on her like fucking glue until he went inside.
"If you talk to Gemma, don't mention Abel."
"Ok. Will you fill me in later?"
"Yeah."
"What about the police?"
"You don't know much anyway. And you're smart, you'll figure it out." He kissed her again. "Call me when you've talked to the cops."
-o0o-
When Happy had left, Ava sat down and rested her head in her hands. It was a bit much. She turned on her computer and then walked outside to sort books. It was a very quiet day at the library. It was as if the entire town was holding it's breath. She had noticed it at the restaurant as well.
A few hours she saw agent Stahl walking up the stairs next to a man and she sighed.
"I'm sure you remember me."
"Yes." This time she wasn't even going to try to smile.
"This is Agent Wright." She nodded at him.
"Want to do this in my office?" She asked.
"Yes please, that would be just fine." Stahls said with a smile. "Any chance you could offer us some coffee." Ava didn't bother to answer, just glared at her. "Maybe not."
When she was at her desk and the agents in the two visitor's chairs she started at them.
"I'm sure you're informed of what happened."
"Not really."
"Gemma killed a man, the man's father kidnapped Abel and killed Kip Epps." Stahl was studying her and with one of her annoying twitches on her head she glared at Ava, slightly form the side. "No comments on that at all?"
"No."
"Anything you could say would help us find Abel. Even things you wouldn't see as important." Agent Wright said.
"My collected knowledge of all this was just summed up by Agent Stahl. I don't know anything else."
"Do you know how the Irish is connected to the sons?" Stahl wasn't even trying to be nice anymore. If she ever did. The smiles were hardly friendly to begin with.
"The Irish?" She had no fucking idea what she was talking about.
"Oh now. We know that the Sons keep their Old Ladies quite well informed." Stahl said.
"The first time I heard the term Old Lady was from you. I'm not an Old Lady."
"I was under the impression that you were with Happy Lowman." Agent Wright said and kept looking between her and Agent Stahl. Stahl had probably informed him with what she found important, no matter how true it was or wasn't.
"I am." She looked at him. "What about the Irish?"
"The man who took Abel was Irish."
"I didn't know that either." She just knew his name was Cameron, but Happy had never told her that he was Irish and she had never met him.
Agent Stahl suddenly change the subject. "Jonah Richardson is missing, his parents reported him missing three weeks ago and no-one seems to have seen him since."
"I didn't know that." Ava answered truthfully. She knew that he was missing, but not that his parents had reported him missing.
"You took a week's sick-leave around the time he disappeared. Why?"
"I had Chickenpox."
"Did Grace have it as well?"
"No, she had it when she was a child." That was true and Ava had it at the same time but there was no records of that anywhere. This time on the other hand Tara had given her a sick note to cover her being home, or at the club, for a week. Obviously Stahl knew that she was lying, but she couldn't prove shit. Her back was so messed up anyway, the new scars didn't really stand out anymore and the bruises on her neck and cheek had faded.
"If he shows up I'm sure you'd inform us."
"If he shows up I won't be around anymore. I tend to leave the city when he shows up. I'm sure you're aware of that."
Stahl was smiling at her now. But it still wasn't a very nice smile. It was a 'I'm smarter than you smile' God! Ava had only met her twice and she hated her guts. "So you don't know anything about the Irish or where Gemma is?"
"No."
"I guess we're done here then." Stahl got up and the other Agent mostly seemed confused. Ava rose as well and followed them to the door. "Please contact us if you find something out."
"Of course." She smiled
"Jonah's parents wanted you to contact them." Ava very much doubted that. They hated her, always had. Jonah was their precocious son and nothing he did could ever be wrong. One of the few times she had taken him to court they had been standing outside of the court room and yelled at her. That she was lying and that their son was a good man. "It was something about visitation rights with Grace."
That was below the belt but Ava refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing her hurt.
"They'll just have to go through the regular channels. I'm not going to call them or tell them where I live."
"Have a nice day." Stahl said with a smile when she left.
She waited a few minutes and then called Happy to tell him what had been said. It was a very to the point-conversation and she hated it. She knew she sounded like a bitch on the phone but she was tired and hurt. He said he might be late if he could come at all she just said ok. She had a feeling that this was some stunt from him to point out that she didn't own him.
-o0o-
The mood in the clubhouse was low. To say the least. They were all getting drunk. For Half-sack, for Jax and Abel, for Gemma and for the general shit situation that should have been solved the day before.
Happy was drinking for Ava as well. He tried to forget those teasing amber fucking eyes, her amazing fucking lips and that tight wet pussy that he kept coming back for. He had no idea how he ended up so twisted for a bitch and wanted to hate her for it. And Grace. A kid! He didn't even like kids! And now he was all caught up in a kid who kept telling him that she loved him and he liked to hear it and her mom, that told him she loved him to. If he begged. He had never begged for a bitch and that was another thing he hated. He begged!
He had been on his way to see her at work when he saw her walking into the restaurant, that slick suit had his fucking hand on her arm and she didn't fucking flinch! He fucking touched her and she didn't react. Happy knew that she didn't react when he touched her but he had hoped that it was just him. That she still didn't like others touching her. Looked like he had done a too good job to get her accept him closer. He had been thinking about walking up to them and introduce himself to that Suit. But he wasn't sure if he could keep himself from shooting him for touching his girl. Instead he had been waiting for her at the library.
When she called he had told her that he might not be home tonight, that he had things to do. He didn't. He just wanted her to freak out the way he did by the thought of her with someone else. She didn't freak out. She just sounded as tired as she had the entire day and with an 'ok' she hung up.
He wanted to talk to Tig about Grace but he was with Gemma but he remembered that Chibs had a daughter and sat down next to him
"Hey! You've got daughter."
"Aye." Chibs agreed.
"When do they start with boys?"
"What?" Chibs seemed confused. "Fuck do I know? I haven't seen her in years. Why you askin'?"
"Grace hangs out with this kid. Peter Worthington. Think he's like, I don't know, have a crush on her. Is that what you say?"
"Again; Fuck do I know? Are you ok?"
"Yeah. Just wondering."
"Sunshine's six. It's not like he's going to knock her up." Chibs laughed.
Happy just frowned. He had no idea how to do all this shit with kids. He would suck as a... dad. Shit! Was that what he would be like? A dad! He poured more whiskey for himself.
At midnight he was piss drunk and one of the Crow Eaters had her arms around his neck, whispering promises in his ear and it didn't do shit to his dick. He didn't want her. That made him hate Ava even more.
He went outside and sat on his bike and drove to Ava's place. He was furious with her, fucking with his head, trying to make him stop fucking others. She would have to get used to it, if not she could go to hell. He was going to tell her some fucking truths about a woman's place in the club. What she needed to do and accept if she wanted to be with him.
He had some problems with getting the key into the door and when he finally managed to get inside he stumbled over that stupid, pink fucking backpack. Couldn't that kid pick up her fucking things instead of leaving them everywhere? When he was going to take of his shoes he almost fell over so he sat down on the floor to do it.
"Happy?"
He looked up and saw Ava in the hallway. She turned on the light and he noticed the huge t-shirt. It looked like one of his but for some reasons he had a hard time to see properly. Everything was a blur.
"I need to talk to you." He said while pointing at her blinking heavily to shield his eyes from the bright light and at the same time trying blink away the blur.
She kneeled down in front of him and started to help him with the shoes. He might not see properly but his sense of smell was intact. He hair smelled of lemons and honey. Just like it always did and he inhaled deeply.
"Jesus Christ, Happy. Did you drive here?" She said. That fucking voice, that's one of the things that had been driving him insane since the first time he met her. Everything about her drove him insane.
"I'm an excellent fucking driver." Was she seriously going to give him shit for that? He could drive his fucking bike no matter what!
"I'm sure." She smiled and suddenly he wasn't angry anymore. "Come on. I'll help you to bed."
"You're not going to yell at me?" He said when she pulled him up and put his arm around her shoulders.
"I can't yell, and I don't see the point. You're not going to remember any of this in the morning anyway."
"I'll remember." He knew he would. He rarely got drunk enough to blackout. He had tried quite a few times.
"Come on. I'll help you with your clothes." She pulled off his cut and continued with the hoodie and t-shirt he had underneath.
"I was going to yell at you." He mumbled when she opened his belt.
"Why?"
"You fucked me up."
"How?" She said while pulling down his pants and pushing him down to sit on the edge of the bed.
"I can't stop thinking about you. Or Grace. A Crow Eater was hanging around my neck and I didn't want to fuck her. I wanted you instead." She laughed when he said that. "I'm all tied down by you and I want to hate you for it but just thinking about you with someone else drives me insane. And I made a fucking tattoo for you! I once swore I would never to a tattoo for a bitch."
"You, what?" She asked him but he wasn't even listening to her. He needed her to understand what she was doing to him, but his head was spinning.
"You fucked me up." That was the only thing he could think of to explain it.
"Go to sleep, Happy." She said and pushed him down on the bed and lifted up his feet. "You can yell at me tomorrow instead."
"I don't want to yell anymore. I never want to yell when I see you. That pisses me off too." He took her arm and pulled her down. "And you make me beg. No bitch has ever made me beg. I should hate you for that too."
"You make me beg." She mumbled when she climbed over him and laid down next to him.
"Not the same. You're a chick." He pulled her closer but he didn't like the t-shirt and tried to take it off her. "Take this shit off."
She sat up, pulled it off and laid down again with her back against him. He pulled her closer, holding her with one hand on her tit. He loved holding her like that while stroking her nipple with his thumb.
"Go to sleep, Happy."
"I'm horny."
"Considering how drunk you are, I doubt that you'll be able to get it up. And even if you did it would take you ages to come and frankly; I'm scared you'd fall asleep on me and smother me to death."
"I could never fall asleep when I'm fucking you. You're pussy is the best."
She chuckled and kissed his arm. "Just sleep. We'll talk tomorrow."
He was tired and completely relaxed, just as he always was when he was with her. He pulled her even closer and put his nose in her hair. Fucking bitch! Invading his brain, driving him insane. He couldn't hold it inside any longer. "I love you." He fucking did, he hated that he did but he didn't hate her.
"Tell me when you're not drunk and I might believe you." She said and he could hear the laughter in her voice. He told her and she didn't believe him!
"Not sure I can."
"Ok." She hugged the arm he had around her. "I understand."
"Please!" He mumbled into her hair. He knew that she'd understand what he meant.
"I love you too, Happy."
He sighed, kissed her hair again. "And I love Grace."
"I know."
"Please don't fuck anyone else while I'm inside."
"I won't. I promise."
It felt like he could finally breath properly for the first time since the fight that morning. A while later he fell asleep, still holding her in an iron grip.