Disclaimer: I don't own Sons of Anarchy or any of the characters.

Wow! I just passed 200 reviews and I'm just stunned. Thank you!

There has also been some reviewers who have disabled their PM, you know who you are and I just wanted you to know that I LOVED you're reviews, on all my stories, they were amazing.

At the risk of being a nag: Thank you for reviews, favs and alerts.

Also, sorry for it taking longer that usual to get this up (not that it was long but even so) bad news is that it might be slightly longer between the uploads, good news is that the reason is because I started writing on the sequel while I'm finishing this one. It will be about Grace when she's older.

Chapter 19: It said so on your chest

When Ava woke up in the morning Happy was still sleeping. That was very uncommon. Usually she woke up when he tried to untangle himself from her, or by his hands roaming all over her. She gave him a kiss on his cheek. He mumbled something and she got up. Or rather tried. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Where are you taking that ass?"

"To the bathroom for a shower."

He leaned over the edge of the bed and checked his phone, still holding on to her. "It's six, Ava. Go back to sleep."

"I need to get up in an hour anyway and I need to get Grace and get her ready for school."

"Mary'll take her here." He mumbled into her neck still holding her arm. "Stay in bed with me."

"Who are you and what have you done to Happy?" She laughed. "You usually can't get out of bed fast enough in the mornings."

"Changed my mind about that. Got a nice ass in bed, all mine." He said and put his arm around her. "Go back to sleep."

She settled down and listened to his breaths and once she heard he was a sleep again she snuck out of bed and went to the bathroom. When she was in the shower the curtain was pulled to the side and Happy stepped in.

"Sneaky bitch." He said and gave her a kiss.

"I wasn't tired."

"You need to follow orders." He said and glared at her with the corners of his mouth twitching.

"Not your Old Lady yet."

"No reason to not start practicing." He took the soap from her and started to wash himself. When he was done he rinsed and stepped outside.

Ava picked up the razor and started to shave her legs. "You're going to have pretty hectic day, aren't you?"

"Probably, why?"

"If you see any possibility to pick up Grace, even if its just to get her to the library, please give me a call."

"I'm sure someone can. I'll call you." He said. "Have you seen my razor?"

Ava froze up and looked at the razor she held against her leg. "Eehrrmm."

"Shit! You're using it, aren't you?" He tore the curtains to the side and she was still resting the foot on the edge of the bathtub with the razor still against her leg. "Ava! Fucking hell, that's why it's always dull!"

She looked up at him, trying to ignore what he looked like with only a towel around his hips. "Maybe?"

"Don't give me that sweet, innocent girl look." He laughed and took the razor from her.

"Nooo! I need to finish shaving my legs." She reached for it and Happy caught her and pulled her out of the bathtub. She had only finished shaving one of her legs and had just begun on the second when he had interrupted her.

"Not with my razor." He held her with one hand and had the razor in the other.

"Please, yours are much better."

"It'll cost you." He gave her a crooked smile. "A kiss."

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him, while doing it she tried to sneak her hand along his arm to get the razor. "Can I have it?" She finally asked.

"Yes." He smiled and handed it to her before lifting her back into the bathtub. "Put a fresh blade in it when you're done. And keep that one and use only that and always put mine back into it when you're done."

"Ok." She smiled and gave him another kiss. "Thank you."

When she came to the kitchen he had made coffee and was talking to Grace.

"Hey, honey. When did you come?"

"Just now. Happy made me toast." She help up a toast with a huge smile to show it to Ava.

"I can see that." She glared at Happy before giving Grace a kiss.

"What happened yesterday?" Grace asked. She sat down next to Grace and took a deep breath.

"Someone fired at the people outside Kip's wake."

"Was someone hurt?" She looked at Ava with big eyes.

"Yes."

Grace was silent for a while. "Anyone I know."

"Chucky, but he'll be fine. And Hale and a boy..."

"They died." Grace said and was silent for a long time.

"Honey." Ava picked her up. "Talk to me." Grace shook her head and put her arms around Ava's neck.

"Why?" She finally said. But she wasn't looking at Ava. She was looking at Happy.

"We don't know, Sugar." Happy answered and held out his arms to her. She moved over to him. "We'll find out." She looked at him and then nodded.

"You're going to see Laura today." It was her regular appointment but Ava was very glad that it was today.

Grace nodded again and then jumped down on the floor and ran to the bathroom.

"You're not gonna like this, but maybe you should let her skip school today. And you should skip work."

Ava thought it over and sat down in his knee. "I think you're right." She gave him a kiss. "I'll give you a lift to your to your bike."

He pulled her down for another kiss. "Good."

"Your stubble is really scratchy." She said while getting up and he smacked her behind.

"Some bitch had my razor."

"You really need to have a serious talk to your bitch."

"I know. Working on it."

She picked up the dishes and went to the sink. "Work harder, can't let her think she's can get away with shit like that." She soaked the dish and suddenly felt him pressing against her back, kissing her neck.

"Kind of into her you know." He mumbled against her neck and Ava laughed.

"Into her? What are you, fourteen?" She tried to imitate his voice and he laughed at her.

"According to rumors she's kind of into me as well."

She turned around and circled his waist. "Wanna come with us on a picnic, at least until Clay needs you?"

He rubbed his chin against her cheek. "Sure."

"Are we going?" Grace said from the hallway.

"You're ditching school today." Happy said and let go of Ava. "Spending a day with your mom instead."

"Why?" She looked at Happy and then Ava.

Ava answered. "I think you need it, just for today."

"Ok." She put down her bag. "What are we doing then."

"Though we should start with a picnic and then we'll do what we fell like. Tomorrows saturday and this way you'll get a couple of days to think about stuff without."

Grace nodded. "Can we ditch Laura?"

"No, not today. But besides that we can do pretty much anything." Ava went into the hallway and put her shoes on. "Pick a book, anyone you like and we'll bring blankets and buy something on our way."

-o0o-

Happy turned over and watched Ava and Grace, lying in the grass next to him. His beautiful girls. Ava was reading to Grace, some book about tiny people living under the floorboards. It was weird but Grace seemed to love it.

He's phone rang and he flipped it open.

"What!"

"We paid a visit to our friend at the hospital." It was Clay and apparently they'd managed to get something out of the shooter who was in hospital. "Gonna need you in a while."

"Sure."

"Meet me at the clubhouse. And tell Ava I wanna meet her later today."

"I'll let her know. Be there soon." He hung up the phone and looked at Ava and Grace. "I'm gonna have to leave. Clay wanted me."

"Ok." Ava said and turned towards him. "We'll miss you." She smiled and he pulled her closer.

"How much?"

"Very much." He gave her a kiss and got up.

"Clay wanted to see you as well. So swing by when you've been at Laura's." He picked up Grace. "You and I are going for a ride tomorrow. Ok?"

"Yes!" She smiled. He wanted to talk to her, find out how she was really doing.

-o0o-

Ava was in the waiting room outside Laura's office, reading her book, when the door opened and Grace skipped outside.

"Grace, I'll just have a word with your mom if that's ok."

"Ok. I'll wait here."

Ava got worried and stood up. "I'll be in there." She pointed towards the door.

"I know, mom." Grace smiled.

They got inside and Ava sat down. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes. That's the thing actually. Everything is very much ok with Grace." Laura sat down in front of her and crossed her legs.

Ava tried to figure that out. "There's been a lot going on. There was a shooting yesterday and earlier one of the members in the club was killed."

"I heard. I'm sorry about that. And I've talked to Grace about it. It troubles her, but not more than it would trouble any other child."

"What are you saying?" Ava couldn't figure out why they were having this conversation.

"One of the reasons I felt that Grace needed to continue to come here was that she found it hard to talk to you about the things that worried her."

"I know that." Out of concern for Ava, because she didn't want to worry her, Grace had avoided to talk to her. She bottled it up and Laura had been her vent. Someone outside that she could talk to, who she felt was capable of handling her worries.

"She's talked very much about Happy and I know who he is." Laura said and she gave her a slight smile again, Ava could see why. He didn't seem like the kid-loving kind. "He's very good to her, he listens, she compares him to Clark."

"She does?"

"Yes, apparently he doesn't talk to her like she's a kid. And they talk a lot. According to Grace she tells him everything."

"Oh." She was trying to figure out if that was good or bad. And what Grace meant with 'everything'.

"Basically; she's found another vent. And she trusts him more than she trusts me."

"But he's not... I mean, you're a professional."

"I could be the best child psychologist in the world and it wouldn't make any difference whatsoever if she doesn't trust me and talk to me. And she doesn't."

"She doesn't?"

"She talks, but not about what worries her. She does that to other people, my guess would be to Happy. And I think she's talking to you as well now, isn't she?"

"Yes." That wast true. She had been talking more to Ava as well.

"Probably because she feels that you're feeling better, stronger. At least that's how she explains it." Laura changed position in her chair. "I'd still like to meet her now and then. Maybe once a month for a while. Just to make sure that she doesn't need to talk."

"Ok." Ava didn't feel as confident as Laura about this. But as she herself had just pointed out; Laura was the professional.

"Also, since I know he's going to jail, she might feel another need for this once he's gone."

"She told you that? How does she feel about that?"

"Slightly worried, but she's also very sure that when he's out he'll come back to you."

That made Ava smile. At least someone was sure about that. Not that she was worried but it was nice to hear that Grace felt ok about it as well.

"I'm just... he's... well... he's a biker."

"She knows, she understands a lot more than you think. And she's not worried about it, so don't you start to worry about it."

"She always understands a lot more than I think."

"Most kids do." Laura smiled. "They're not stupid just cause they're young. And people have a tendency to not notice that they are around and talk like they're in private. But your kid is extremely perceptional, it has been her way of surviving. To know who to trust."

"So I don't have to worry about her?"

"No. And like I said; I'd like her to keep coming here, just for chats. I explained that to her, that it wouldn't be like before. We'll just meet, talk in general and if she feels the need to talk properly, she'll tell me or I'll notice."

"Sounds goo." Ava smiled and got up. She gave Laura a hug. "Thank you, for everything."

"You're most welcome. She's a great kid."

"I know. I'm lucky."

"Well, you did have quite a lot to do with it. But you're also lucky." Laura agreed.

They went outside and Laura gave Grace a hug. "I'll see you next month then?" Grace asked.

"Yes. Just a chat between friends and you'll let me know if you need to talk like before."

"Yes. Thank you Laura."

"Thank you." Laura said and walked inside the office again.

Ava picked up Grace and gave her a hug as well. "So you're ok with this?"

"Yes."

"And you'll let me know if you change your mind?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm ok with this." She gave her a kiss. "Let's get to the clubhouse."

-o0o-

When Happy and the others pulled in on the lot after the meet with Grim Bastards he noticed Grace and Ava.

"Hey." She smiled and he gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Hi Ava. Got a minute?" Clay asked and she nodded.

Grace ran up to him and he picked her up. They watched Ava and Clay walking into the clubhouse.

"I'm not going to see Laura as often anymore." Grace smiled.

"Who's Laura?" Bobby asked.

"She's a woman I've been talking to sometimes. You know, when I need to talk."

"A shrink?" Chibs asked?

Grace shrugged and Happy answered for her. "Yeah, child psychologist."

"Though Ava did things of the books." Bobby said.

"She did."

"Oh..." Bobby looked towards the clubhouse. "She must know shitloads of things that are done off the books."

"Yeah. That's why Clay wants to talk to her."

"Come on, Sunshine. There's some goodies for you in the clubhouse." Bobby said and Grace jumped into his arms. "See you got that SOA t-shirt today."

"Yes! I need more of them. Mommy doesn't do the laundry very often."

"Really? She lazy?"

"No, I hate going to the laundromat. It's so boring." Grace said and put her arms around Bobby's neck. "What did you bake?"

"Cookies."

"Mom says I get sugar rushes from those."

"That's why I use the good shit, no refined sugar." That was the last thing Happy heard before they walked inside.

"Would be great if we had half as good contact with our own fucking kids." Chibs said and lit a smoke.

"Ain't got any kids of my own." Happy said.

"So..."

"If you ask me when I'm gonna put a crow on her mom I'll fucking punch you."

"Ok." Chibs smiled and started to walk to the clubhouse and Happy followed him.

When he came inside Grace was having cookies and milk and Bobby was holding up SOA t-shirts.

"What about this one?"

"Nah." Grace shook her head.

"That's SOA blue, darlin'. It's nice." Chibs said and sat down next to her.

"Nah." still shaking her head. "Don't you have them in pink?"

Happy laughed and Chibs and Bobby were staring at her. Just then Ava and Clay came out.

"What?" Clay asked.

"Sugar wants a SOA t-shirt in pink." Happy explained.

"Don't let Gemma hear that." Clay sat down next to Grace and stroke her head.

"She'd do it?" Grace said with a big smile. Happy was pretty sure that Gemma would, if she ever came back that is.

"You already have a SOA t-shirt." Ava said when she sat down at the table.

"Yes, but you only let me have it one day and you only wash once a week."

"You hate it when I do the laundry." She said and picked up a cookie. "Oh my God, these are great. You did these?" She asked Bobby.

"Yeah. I'll give you the receipt."

Ava looked at Grace who finally had accepted that there were no pink t-shirts for her and picked another one. A white on with blue text spelling Reaper crew. Great, her daughter had a t-shirt that said 'Reaper crew'. And did they even allow those on people who weren't patched in? They walked outside and Clay give her a hug.

"Thanks. I'm sure it'll be of some use."

"I hope so. Tell her to call me if she can."

"I'll do that." He gave Grace a pat on her her head. "You take care of your mom, kiddo."

"I will." She was holding the t-shirt and a bag of cookies tight.

Ava turned to Happy. "Got a sec?" He asked and started to walk to the side of the lot. "She's not going to see Laura?"

"No. Apparently she doesn't talk to Laura anymore. According to Laura she doesn't need it because she talks to you instead. And she trusts you more than her."

He looked baffled. "I'm not a psychologist."

"That's what I said. She said it didn't matter, that it was mostly that Grace needed to vent."

Happy gave her a hug. "Ok."

"She'll still see her once a month." She gave him a kiss. "Listen, you're in the middle of stuff now so let's just talk about this when you come home. Ok?"

"Ok?"

"And don't worry. You don't have to do anything you're not already doing."

"Ok." He smiled.

"Hey, Hap. We need to get going." Clay yelled.

She picked up Grace and she waved at them when they drove off.

"A pink SOA t-shirt?" She said when they walked to the car.

"Just wanna see if they'll do it." Grace laughed. "And it would look awesome!"

"Sure would. I wouldn't hold my breath though."

"Nah. Just thought they should try thinking out of the box."

"Out of the box?" Where the hell did she learn stuff like this?

"Peter said it yesterday when we were trying to build a bridge made of straws."

"Ok." They got into the car. "Anything you wanna do today?"

"Can we go and see a movie?"

"Yes. Let's do that." A movie sounded great.

-o0o-

Ava was sleeping when he came home. He brushed his teeth, took a look at Grace and then went into the bedroom.

"Hey." She mumbled and put her arms around him.

"Hey." He was tired as hell.

"Tough day?" She put her arm around his waist and kissed his chest in that way she so often did.

"Yeah." That was putting it mildly.

"Wanna talk about it?"

He turned towards her. "Old Lady shit. Wanna change your mind about that ink?"

"So unless I'm an Old Lady you can't talk to me?"

"Something like that."

"You do know that I figure out quite a lot by myself."

"Sugar must have had it from someone. So I'm not surprised."

"She told me how she figured it out. That you killed... Jonah." He heard that slight hesitation.

"How?"

"I wasn't scared, we didn't move and it said so on your chest. That's a direct quote." Smart bitches, both of them.

"Said so on my chest?"

"That you kill for your family. And Gemma called me family."

"Smart girl." He remembered her reading it but she had never asked, none of them had. "So, being and Old Lady means I can tell you everything." He looked back at Ava.

"I know." He knew that. Her 'dislike'-face

"You don't want that?"

"I figure out things anyway. And the things I figure out scares me sometimes. I just think..."

"That if you knew more it would freak you out?"

"Something like that."

"I don't think it would." She was a tough girl, sometimes knowing less can be more frighting. The mind adds the missing pieces and if you had an imagination and experiences like the ones Ava had, you could come up with some nasty shit. Admittedly, he did do some nasty shit but he wouldn't tell her those. Just what she needed to know and enough for her to think she knew the most of it.

She took a deep breath. "Ok."

"Ok?" He smiled at her.

"Tell me about today."

"We meet with Grim Bastards, a black mc-club from Lodi, the others had figured out that the guy who fell out of the van was from another mc-club from Lodi, Caleveras. Grim Basterds found out where the president of the Caleveras lived so we went to him. Opie lured him into opening the door, when he saw us he ran and I followed him inside and took him down. His Old Lady was in there and pulled a gun at Chibs and Bobby. Jax took her out by breaking her nose. Then he beat up the president who still wouldn't tell us what we needed to know. So we dug a hole in the ground, filled it up with dirt to his neck and drove the bikes towards him to make him tell us what we wanted to know. Then we dug him up again."

When he finished talking he looked at her. He couldn't read her face. She moved and laid on top of him. "You didn't kill him?"

"No. We decided not to."

"If they asked you, would you have killed him?"

"Yes."

He was holding his breath, she hadn't moved and finally she just gave him a kiss.

"So, where would you put it?"

He took a deep breath. He hadn't expected that from her, but he had thought about where to put the tattoo. "I know you don't want it where someone else can see it. So somewhere private."

"I thought the point was for others to see it, to stay away."

"They'll know you're my Old Lady anyway. And that's not the only reason why you get it."

"Then why?"

"It shows that you're mine. And if you're mine, you and Grace are my responsibility. I have to take care of you." She started to talk and he interrupted. "I know you don't want anyone to take care of you. But that is what it means. It's a mark for me as much as it is for you. And I'm gonna take care of you and Grace not matter what you think about it."

"Ok." She leaned down and kissed him. "Somewhere that's just for you and me, that I don't show anyone else."

"Yes."

"Like my back?"

"No. It's possible to tattoo on scars but they need to be completely healed, preferably for years. But even if yours were completely healed it would still be too much, it wouldn't look good." He stroked her back when he told her.

"So where?" She smiled.

"You'd do it?" He had no idea where this came from. It's not as if she had refused earlier. But she had avoided to talk about it. On the other hand he had started to understand how she worked. That she avoided something wasn't because she didn't want to think about it. It was the opposite. She didn't talk about it to be able to think about it on her own, then she talked about it. He liked that about her.

"I don't know. But I wanna know where you'd put it."

He flipped her around, kissed his way down her body until he was on her left thigh. He kissed her on the outside, quite high, just underneath the hem of her boyshorts. "There."

"Just for your eyes."

"Exactly." He smiled, she got it. He knew she would. "You're just for me."

Ava looked at Happy. He had told her what he had done that day and she did wonder what he had done those other days when he came home late and was extremely tired. More than once it was probably something similar. It didn't bother her. It probably should but he had never been violet towards her, the only thing he had done was hold her still when she tried to run away to avoid him. The thought about what he had actually done to Jonah flashed through her head but she pushed it back.

"Just for you."

"I might have to kill all the other guys you've fucked. Just to make sure I'm the only living guy on the planet who's had you." He was teasing her now. Probably trying to get away from the seriousness of the situation. "Since you're just for me."

"You already did."

He stared at her for a few seconds. "You serious?"

"I was seventeen when I met him."

"Yeah?"

"That's not that uncommon. To be a virgin when you're seventeen. Not everyone gave blowjobs in the library at high school. Some of us actually read the books in there."

"Were you planing on becoming a nun?"

"Shut up!" She hit him in the chest. "It's not that uncommon!"

"Sure!"

"Hey, you should be glad."

He just smiled. "So you'll let me do it?"

Suddenly she thought of something that would probably put the discussion on halt for a while. Give her some time to get used to the idea of have a bird on her thigh. "Know what? If you can tell me you love me without being drunk as..." He didn't even let her finish the sentence

"I love you."

She choked and wasn't really able to take in the fact that he just said it, while looking her straight into the eyes and smiling. "I wasn't really prepared for that." Not at all, she had thought that it was a very safe way to avoid the 'Old Lady'-discussion for now.

He laughed. "I know." He kissed her. "So, I said it, now you'll let me do it?"

"Will you be there for Grace, not matter what?"

"You know I will. I might kill her boyfriends though."

"I might like it when you do." He laughed and laid down next to her agian.

Happy took another look at her. It had taken her being somewhat of a fucking angel despite him being drunk and mad at her to get him to say it the first time. Her smile while taking of his clothes and laughing when he told her about the Crow Eater, her calm when just putting him to bed and lying down next to him, taking of her t-shirt and letting him hold her, all of that had pushed him over the edge. She was always so calm, even when she was angry she was still calm and it wasn't just that she couldn't yell. Every word out of that womans mouth was always calculated and calm. He loved that, she didn't blow up or freaked out. Only time he ever saw her rattled was when she was horny and he held off, but he liked that. He wanted her to want him that bad.

He kissed her again. Saying it this time had been something different, he knew that she thought it would stop him for a while. He would probably never be then kind of guy who told her often and in normal cases she wouldn't ask him to say it. It had been surprisingly easy. And he meant it this time as well.

He kept kissing her and finally ripping of her panties and entering her.

She kissed him the entire time. Every time he tried to stop she pulled his head back and fused her mouth to his. Her legs were tangled with his and her feet on the back of his knees and he couldn't stop moving his hands all over her body.

He had never had sex like this. This wasn't fucking, it was hardly even sex. It was the L-thing.

When she came he watched her and he came right after. When he was resting on her, his head besides hers he kissed her earlobe. "Don't get used to this." He mumbled with a smile. And of course she knew what he meant.

"You can fuck me really hard next time." She laughed.

"I will." He laid down next to her again.

"I know you don't deal with drugs or women and that's pretty much all I need to know. I'm guessing guns though."

"Guessing?"

"Irish, IRA, they're an army and they need money. It's not news that they're running guns. I'm not stupid Happy."

"I know you're not." She sure as hell wasn't.

"Ok." She said after a few minutes of silence.

"Ok, what?"

"You can do it."

"I just told you everything, if you hadn't agreed I would have been forced to kill you." He said and kissed her.

"You could never kill me, you love me." She smiled.

Ava kept looking at him. It hadn't been as bad as she had imagined. It was nothing she wasn't ok with even if it wasn't anything she was happy with.

"I'll do it tomorrow."

"In a hurry?"

"Don't want you to change your mind." He smiled. "I'll take Grace for a ride in the morning."

"Ok." She curled up next to him. "Let me know what she says."

"No. But I'll let you know how she's doing."

"Guess that'll have to do."