Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and the Infernal Devices series!

A/N: Hey guys! Here is chapter 4! I'm sorry if sometimes it takes ages to update, I usually write the chapters in my notebook then type them up, which can be so tedious and take ages. Please review for what you would like to see and anything I can improve on! Also, a quick shoutout to my fab beta, you know who you are! Enjoy :)

I felt a surge of ease and relief run through me as Jem and I, hand in hand, stepped out of the portal and right into the middle of Magnus's normally, luxurious apartment. Instead of his old vibrant and loud living room though, everything here was dark and plain. I could swear this was a stranger's place. The pillows were no longer a bright yellow but a dull grey, his sofa was now a violent black instead of purple. There were take away containers all over the ground and tables, empty beer cans, and the strong scent of sweat and lavender. The only noise in the apartment was coming from the flat screen TV which was playing the original Gone With The Wind. This was all very unlike Magnus. Not only was the colour scheme wrong, but the lack of scented candles and music gave me the impression something was very wrong.

"Well," Jem's voice sounded from beside me, I looked at him and matched his frown, "maybe he accidentally landed us in the wrong apartment?"

I let go of Jem's hand and shook my head. "No, this is definitely his apartment," I settled my suitcase down and picked up one of the takeaway containers on a table, "he must have just redecorated the place."

Jem opened his mouth to respond but the voice that met my ears was far from his typical mellow and soft tones.

"I needed a new start, too many reminders of happiness here," the voice said, "you would know how I feel, Tess." My gaze met Magnus's yellow eyes, as he stood in his bedroom doorway in nothing but boxers and a red, satin robe. His hair was all flattened and he was makeup, and sparkle free. He had dark circles under his eyes, his lips were chapped, and his face looked long and weary. He stared at Jem and weakly tried a smile. "It's weird hearing you talk out loud, and the lack of confidence you have in my portal making really hurts," Magnus stepped out of the doorway and clapped Jem on the back causing him to respond with a shy smile, then made his way to me. Magnus planted a kiss on my cheek, and slumped onto the sofa.

"I'm so happy to see you Magnus, but I can tell that something's up with you," I carefully sat next to him on the sofa, "why would you need a new start?"

I could feel Jem move so he was standing behind Magnus and I. I briefly glanced up to him and he smiled reassuringly, so I turned back to Magnus who was rubbing his temples, and put my hand on his shoulder.

"Where's Alec?"

The sob Magnus had let out made me immediately regret my choice of words. Though I could see no sign of tears, I knew he was deeply upset. I tightened my hold on his shoulder.

"Magnus? What happened?" I reluctantly smiled and he looked up at me.

"He's gone, Alec, I sent him away because of what I am. I hate myself. I think this immortality thing is finally eating me alive," Magnus looked at Jem, then back at me, "I sincerely wish you both good luck. Immortality is a bitch, don't let it play you. " At that, Magnus stood up and started towards his bedroom, I stood up too.

"You're not coming with us then?" I folded my arms across my chest. I was hoping for Magnus to come with Jem and I to the institute, so I would feel more welcome with another warlock by my side, but I knew he would refuse. Anything to avoid Alec.

Jem moved to my side and rested his hand gently on my waist. I felt encouragement from his touch, though it was so small and so gentle, it consumed me with praise. He knew I was looking forward to Magnus coming with us, as I had mentioned it a few times in our conversations, so he could sense my disappointment. it was basically emitting from me.

Before Magnus stepped back into his bedroom he turned and smiled. "I'll probably tell you the full story another time, Tess, but until then you two have fun on your little adventure. There's a taxi waiting for you outside, it'll take you where you are needed."

With that, Magnus shut his bedroom and disappeared. Jem's hand squeezed my side, "Lets go then."

We gathered our suitcases and ventured out of Magnus's apartment and onto the street. Indeed there was a yellow taxi cab waiting for our arrival. I opened up the trunk and lifted my suitcase with ease and tossed it in. Jem was beside me, and appeared about to do the same, but his eyes searched the many sky scrapers, and his lips parted and formed a genuine smile. I forced back a giggle at his boyish grin. I couldn't wait to travel the world with him, and witness a thousand more of his crooked smiles. After we visit the institute and the war is over, I wanted to take him everywhere, I wanted him to live as fully and as large as he could.

We got into the taxi and sat side by side. The driver seemed to have already been given instructions on where to take us, as he asked no questions and drove off straight away. Jem laced his fingers assuringly through mine, and stared out the window. I watched him with interest. His dark eyes were filled with the midday sun, and his eyelashes were casting shadows on his cheeks. He's beautiful. He makes me whole and alive. I've yearned for so long to feel like this again, to be with someone I loved. No one could ever make me feel like this again, after Jem, there was no one. I could not spend an etnerity without him, he fills the emptiness in me. Ever since Will, I felt so alone, I thought Jem would never escape the Silent Brothers, I thought I'd spend my life in despair. Now I know different. Jem, my beautiful Jem, he's here. His heart is beating for mine, and mine for his. I regretted not growing old with Will, so maybe this time with Jem I could. Maybe, I could give up my forever, and grow old. I closed my eyes and squeezed Jem's hand. I wanted eternity with him, I will not bear living on, I will not make this mistake twice.

"I love you," I blurted the words out before I had opened my eyes. The urgency in my voice was alarming. I opened my eyes to Jem's lopsided grin, and his eyes lightened as they met mine.

He gave my hand a squeeze, "Why, I love you too, Tessa. Utterly and truly."

I found myself releasing a simper and kissed our joined hands, then kissed his shoulder, then kissed his cheek, then his nose. We laughed together and I continued kissing him everywhere on his face except his lips. The taxi driver gave a few awkward sighs but not once did I let it get to me. I needed to enjoy these types of moments. After all, who's to say Jem and I will survive this war? I had been too busy thinking about growing old with him, when I remembered well, maybe one of us won't make it out. Jem seemed to sense my sudden falter and placed a hand on my cheek, and squeezed my other.

"Whatever it is you're thinking, just remember, wo ai ni," he whispered then planted a soft but solid kiss on my lips. The taxi then came to a stop, he pulled to the curb, and the driver and I made eye contact in his review mirror.

"Here's your stop. Some mangy old church," the driver grumpily said.

Jem and I got out of the taxi and grabbed our suitcases. I held on tightly to Jem's hand, and we proceeded through the gates of the institute. It was a large gothic like cathedral and made me catch my breath. It was gorgeous. Jem and I came to the huge, black door of the building and I felt my nerves rumble in my chest. I was so close to meeting the boy, Jace.

Jem knocked 3 times, and I watched as he stood almost limp, waiting for the door to be answered. I was so busy watching Jem's reaction, that I myself forgot to react to the loud screeching of the institute doors. As the doors opened, my heart fastened and I grasped Jem's hand even tighter.

n front of us stood a young man, slim yet muscular, with curly blonde hair that covered his ears and touched his t shirt collar. His eyes were like amber, and they widened at the sight of Jem, and he seemed to completely ignore my presence.

"Brother..? Brother Zachariah?" The boy quirked an eyebrow and smirked while looking Jem up and down then glancing at me, "since when did you ditch your robes? And you found yourself a lady friend?"

Jem shyly smiled and glanced at me, but I was staring at the boy in complete shock. Though his eyes weren't blue, and his hair wasn't black, he looked exactly like Will.

"Jace, this is Tessa, Tessa Herondale."