Jess sat at the kitchen table, hands clasped in front of her, and stared suspiciously at the man opposite her. Though he had explained why he was here, she still wasn't sure she could trust him.
'Well?'
'Well, what?'
She sighed. 'Well, how on earth would anyone know about Bella? About what happened with me and... Becker?'
Rowland shrugged. 'I can't answer that, Jess. All I know is that they're after you, and I've been instructed to protect you.'
'By Lester?'
He frowned. 'No. Well... He didn't know you were in danger until I was informed some time ago. I then went to Lester who said I should keep an eye out.'
Jess gulped, thinking of her beautiful baby currently asleep upstairs. Why would anyone want to hurt her?
'So what do we do?' she asked, still shaken from the fear which had gripped her when he had grabbed her. She wasn't entirely sure whether that had been necessary, but she was grateful that he was trying to look after her and her daughter.
'If you want to keep your daughter and husband safe, there really is only one option. Leave.'
Jess looked up, having been twisting her wedding ring round her figure, and gaped. 'What do you mean, leave?'
'Exactly that, Jess. They're coming for you first, mainly because you hold the answers to Bella's... parentage. If you leave, then they'll search for you and Bella will be safe.'
Jess was about to argue when she remembered Becker, the future Becker, telling her about how she had gone without a word... Was this what he had meant? Did she really leave her whole life behind?
'Oh God,' she whispered, tears forming behind her eyes.
'I am truly sorry, Jessica, but it's the only way you're daughter will remain unharmed.'
Jess nodded, knowing she needed to protect Bella at all costs, even if it meant leaving her behind. She only hoped Becker could manage – after all, she had seen what her absence had done to him in three months, but goodness knows how long she was going to have to stay away.
'When?' she asked bluntly, needing to focus on the facts rather than her emotions. Becker's tear-stained face was the last thing she wanted to remember right now.
'As soon as possible. Tomorrow morning, actually, if we're to get a head start.'
Jess imagined Becker waking up to find her gone, read the heartbreaking note she would leave for him and Bella, and the tears which would follow. How could she do this to him? To either of them?
'It's for the best,' Rowland reminded her kindly, and she nodded again, unable to speak. They were after Bella, and if she could distract them in any way, even if it meant she was killed, she would do it without hesitation.
'OK. I'll pack my things now and I'll be read by 5 tomorrow. I'm not allowed to tell Becker anything, am I?'
Rowland shook his head immediately. 'Out of the question. It would only be putting him in further danger.'
Jess sighed, having expected that answer, and stood up. 'Thank you for telling me. A little more warning would have been nice, but I understand why you kept away. It does look rather suspicious when a government agent turns up at our house.' She tried to smile but her lips quivered and she turned away, not wanting to cry in front of this stranger.
'Well, I should be going. I'll have the car outside for 4.30 just in case we need to leave earlier. I'll text you tonight to let you know everything's sorted.'
Jess gave a curt nod before opening the back door for him. 'Thanks... again.'
He gave her a genuine smile and patted her shoulder. 'I know it's upsetting, but you have to. You know that.'
'Bella comes first,' Jess replied quietly, and he nodded before hurrying down the path and out the gate. Jess stood momentarily in the doorway, wondering what she had just agreed to, before she closed the door. A single tear drop escaped and trickled down her cheek, but Jess didn't have the energy to wipe it away. She held back the sob threatening to engulf her, and leaned back against the wall, unable to comprehend a life without her family. They were all she had, and now she was going to have to leave them. It was unbearable.
xxx
As Becker rounded the corner of the quiet, suburban street, he groaned as he saw most of the lights inside his house had been switched off. He was late. Really late.
'Damn,' he cursed under his breath, jumping out of the sleek SUV and hurrying up the steps and unlocking the door. She had told him to be home for dinner, and it was now gone ten. There was no way she was going to forgive him easily for this.
'Jess?' he called quietly, knowing Bella would already be asleep.
Nothing.
'Jess? Are you there?' he asked again, a little louder.
Still nothing.
His brow furrowed in confusion, unsure where she would have gone at this time, and suddenly wondered whether she had left Bella alone. He forgot about being quiet and rushed upstairs, his heavy boots thudding on the carpeted steps, and towards Bella's room. Just as he was about to open the door, however, their bedroom door opened and Jess stepped out.
He smiled, relieved, before he saw the raw skin around her eyes.
'Jess...'
She remained silent, giving him a seething glare which scalded his heart, and held out a blanket and pillow for him to take. He did so reluctantly, knowing it would not be in his best interests to argue right now, and watched her slip back into the darkness of their room and shut the door.
He stayed still for a moment, stunned at the cold, hateful look she had gave him, and then gulped. He had never seen her so angry. Well, he had never seen her so angry at him.
Becker rubbed his forehead, exhausted and yet feeling completely awake now, and trudged back downstairs to the couch where he was going to spend the night. What had he done?
xxx
Jess had never hated herself more than in that moment. He had looked at her like she was a stranger, and it's what she had become since reality had come crashing into her life. All their lives. And even though she knew she should have been prepared, considering what Becker had let slip in the future, she still couldn't bare to push him away like that, even if it was for his own good. She couldn't have him hearing her leave, knowing what that would mean, and so the only way was to keep him at a distance.
Again, Jess held back the tears, knowing how truly far away he was going to be, perhaps for the rest of her life. Even the thought of never seeing him again was tearing her to shreds, but she kept hanging on. She had to. For Bella's sake.
Glancing at the clock, Jess groaned quietly – 03:58. She was early. But then again, he had said he would be outside at 04:30, which meant only 32 minutes until she had to leave. 32 minutes until she died internally. Because losing Becker and Bella – who had become her only reason for living – was going to kill her. And the only reason she was doing it was to stop them dying as well. One stupid mistake which had created something so beautiful had now come back to haunt her, and it was all her fault...
Her mobile beeped and she flung herself across the bed to grab it before it woke Bella. If Jess knew anything about her daughter, it was that she was exactly like her father in terms of military alertness. One false move and she would be screaming the place down.
Sorry but we have to go. Now. Go out the back door. Black BMW.
R
Jess let out a shaky breath before shoving the mobile in her pocket and grabbing Becker's old military rucksack. It weighed a tonne but she managed to hoist it on to her back. She picked up the note from her desk, the one she had spent all day trying to write, and stroked the curved lettering of the only word she had managed to form.
She crept softly along the landing, her eyes involuntarily sliding to Bella's door, but she reigned herself in, knowing it would only make things worse to see her beautiful, sleeping face. This would be hard enough without that added extra. However, remembering what Becker had said about the note, she gave a desperate sigh and gently opened the door. Jess had never been so racked with guilt or fear before in her life as she was right then, moving past her baby daughter to the white, wooden table next to her cot where she placed the folded piece of paper next to the lamp. She didn't dare look at Bella, in case she completely broke down, and instead hurried out the door as fast as she could without making a sound.
As she reached the hallway, desperately trying not to bang against anything or step on a creaking floorboard, she stopped suddenly at the sight of Becker, lying curled on the floor with the blanket scrunched around his legs. He had never been comfortable sleeping on a plush cushion considering his army days, and she almost gave in after seeing him half-naked, asleep.
But after her phone vibrated again in her pocket, she was quickly awoken from the perfect day-dream she had concocted in her mind, and shuffled past the living-room to the kitchen and out the back door.
The morning mist was just beginning to clear as she made her way down the path and out the gate, where she could clearly see Rowland's BMW parked on the opposite street, engine purring in the hush.
She only looked back once. Just once. Simply so that she could mouth the word Becker would later read that morning.
'Sorry.'
I am so sorry that it has taken me so long! I can only say, in my defence, that I have been crazily busy this past month and that I just haven't had a spare second to write this. Hopefully, if things calm down, my writing schedule will be back to normal – but I can't make any promises, I'm afraid! Again, please review as it does make me happy :) And happy writers tend to write better stories ;)