(a/n) – to further the (R)eiko!sneeze meme, here is an expansion of an idea as seen from (pg28, #1374). this is crack. it's filled with such crack, you can go to jail for possession by reading this.

Emiya Clan Misc – Karakura

It was over. There was no way they could defeat this monstrosity.

Soi-Fon panted, her energy spent. This Arrancar, this self-proclaimed King of Hueco Mundo, had taken her most powerful attacks – twice – and still had emerged ready to continue battle. The Visored who had come to assist her was similarly drained, doing his best to avoid the abomination's Respira attack. Hachigen was moving as fast as his body would allow, throwing up Kidou barriers in an attempt to maintain his distance. Despite this, the strongest barriers he had dissolved in mere seconds, and the large man was barely keeping ahead of the Espada. It was also clear Baraggan was not moving at his full speed either; he was toying with them, the Second Division Captain realized in dismay.

Suddenly, there was a loud crackling sound, as if a hole was being ripped through reality. Soi-Fon's head shot up just several things happened in quick succession. First, a relatively tiny figure burst out of the tear and body-checked the skeletal Arrancar into a nearby building. She was shocked beyond belief when the figure rebounded and landed safely on another roof, appearing completely unfazed by the monster's powers of Death and Decay. The second was an equally monstrous face appearing in the void. Demonic glowing eyes and a toothy smile flashed into existence. A low growl filled the air, unintelligible yet somehow promising monstrous amounts of pain.

The third thing was that except for a surprised exclamation when he'd been checked, Baraggan had fallen completely silent. He looked – as much as a bony skull could – to be completely terrified.

Soi-Fon turned her attention to the figure waiting patiently across the roof and had to blink her eyes. Grey haired, he appeared to be a young man in his mid twenties, although his bearing and poise suggested a much older age. He was dressed in a fashionable blouse and slacks combination that almost seemed effeminate, an appearance that was supported by the soft expression on his face. He looked rather sad, almost disappointed towards his opponent.

The King of Hueco Mundo's voice took on a shrill tone. "Shiina!" he shrieked.

"Barry," Shiina answered softly.

Soi-Fon blinked again. Barry?

"Your mother is disappointed in you," the Reaper Sekirei continued.

"Baaaarryyyyy..." the voice boomed from the portal. Soi-Fon blinked again as another figure dropped from the sky, carefully caught by the grey-haired man before she hit the rooftop. A relatively tiny black-haired woman stalked forward to the rooftop, then pulled off one of her shoes and threw it at the skull-faced monster. "What the hell did you do to yourself?" she shouted.

Soi-Fon wondered if she'd hit her head harder than she had thought as she watched the Segundo Espada squeal and scramble backwards against along his building's roof, tucking himself into a fetal ball.

Shiina had to keep a firm grasp on the woman, seeing as she looked like she was just a few moments away from leaping across the roof and strangling the arrancar. "Yukari, Dear, please try to remain calm."

Yukari broke free with one arm and raised her fist menacingly, "You disappear while visiting onii-chan's place, no warning, no messages! We had to hear what happened from Miya-san! What happened?"

Baraggan broke down into a blubbering mess, saying something about 'sneezing girls' and 'time travel' and 'lost'. "But, but I became a King, mother! A KING!"

Yukari bounced another shoe off the crown of his skull. A black aura seemed to manifest itself around her head, displaying the same glowing eyes and slasher smile Soi-Fon had seen in the portal earlier. The face leered down at the Arrancar menacingly. "You. Come home. NOW."

Baraggan squeaked and dropped his Resurrección form, leaving an old man in his place. His mother shrieked in renewed outrage at his appearance. Shiina quickly beckoned towards the still open portal, and Soi-Fon watched as another ash-haired woman, dressed in black and silver platemail, dropped from it to the roof.

Shiina turned towards the newcomer, "Eiko-san, can you please take Barry home via another portal? I'll take care of Yukari through this one. I think she'll do something she'll regret later if we all go together."

Yukari fought tooth and nail, trying to escape her husband's grasp and throttle her wayward son. "We're going to have words when we get back, boy! And I'm going to ask Miya-san to help!"

Baraggan dissolved into a blubbering mess, barely noticing as Eiko opened up a new portal and gently led him through it. As the portal snapped closed, Shiina finally turned to address the remaining Gotei 13 and Espada staring dumbfounded at the scene. He bowed low in apology, "Sorry for the trouble our son has caused. Please feel free to continue what you were doing." With that, he gathered his fuming wife in his arms and leapt up towards the sky, the portal snapping closed behind him as they passed through it.

After another few moments of silence, all eyes turned towards the trio of white-clad former-shinigami standing away from the battles. Aizen suddenly blinked and reached up as if to adjust glasses that were no longer there.

"Well, um.." he said, clearly flustered. "I, ah, I anticipated all of this, of course."

Soi-Fon suddenly lost strength in her legs, toppling forward to plant her face into the concrete beneath her. At Aizen's side, Gin and Tousen slammed their own faces into upraised palms.

(a/n cont.) – i've asked the people on the forums, and now i ask you (though it'd be easier if you also replied on the forums so i don't have to check back and forth in too many places). we've had omakes for Ouran, Avatar, and Bleach.

3 choices, let me know which one you'd like me to focus on. actually, don't make me do bleach. i'll void any votes. so you have 2 choices.

as always you can visit the Emiya Clan thread: (forum. fanfiction. net/ topic/ 88086/ 42932494/ 1/) here