Changing World
.
Chapter 3: The Warmth of a Family
.
As she came back to her bed with the candle Spike had requested, Twilight wondered if the cause of her young friend's worries might have something to do with the events of the day. She reckoned it would be best to let him know that she was there if he needed a listening ear to confide to.
"You know what?" she said with a comprehensive smile. "I'm not very tired either, anyway. I think I'll just keep on reading for a while. I know you're too old for home-made bedtime stories now, but if you think reading or just talking could help you clear your head..."
"Yeah, thanks. I guess I could do with some company right now. Whatever the book, just... hearing your voice is good."
He was avoiding her eyes, visibly preoccupied. Twilight wished she could read his mind to help her understand. She sat down on the far end of her mattress so as to face him.
"That dream... it seems to be troubling you a lot. Do you want to talk about it?"
She could sense that Spike had become very tense, but he managed to keep a cool voice when he replied.
"Oh, uh... It was just me going nuts, destroying Ponyville and getting banished."
He had said it like it was no big deal, but Twilight knew him too well to get fooled by his apparent indifference. She patiently waited for him to say what was on his mind.
Fidgeting nervously, Spike finally took a deep breath and admitted:
"I know it was just a stupid dream, but... I can't stop thinking about... what happened earlier."
Twilight nodded knowingly. Of course, she thought, finding oneself growing uncontrollably and losing one's mind in the process ought to be a rather traumatic experience.
"It must have been terrifying. What did it feel like when you... started to change? Were you aware of all that was happening, or can't you remember a thing?"
Used to his friend's curiosity, Spike reluctantly tried to recall the moment when he had lost track of his actions.
"Well, I have some flashbacks, but it's all pretty blurred in my head, like it was some kind of dream. I wasn't really aware of what I was doing anymore. I mean, I could see what was happening, but it all felt so unreal... All I could see was things I wanted everywhere, and something kept telling me I had to get them, all of them. But the more I had, the more I wanted, and I ended up always needing more, until there seemed to be nothing left but that growing emptiness inside of me. It was a bit like... eating ice cream, except an awful lot stronger. I just couldn't stop myself. I couldn't think straight. I didn't even remember my name, or recognize my friends. I don't know what would've happened if not for Rarity." He sighed regretfully. "When she made me snap out of it, she nearly fell to her doom because of me, and I ended my day seeing the consequences of my rampage all over town... So yeah, you could say it was pretty awful."
Twilight bit her lip, now worried that bringing back those memories might not have been helpful at all.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. Maybe you'd rather not talk about that."
Spike shrugged.
"It's okay. I'd be thinking about it anyway, so I might as well try to get it off my chest."
Twilight wanted to say something to comfort him, but she felt awkward and feared that one of her lectures might only leave him feeling worse. Silence fell over the room and remained untroubled, save for the ruffling sound of an owl smoothing his feathers, in a dark corner near the window.
After a while, Spike's voice was heard again, this time completely devoid of his usual confidence.
"Twilight?"
He sounded so weak and insecure that it seemed to her like she had gone back in time to the days when he could barely talk.
"Yes, Spike?"
"Is... is the princess gonna have to take me away?"
Twilight frowned.
"Take you away? Spike, what are you talking about?"
Looking down on his tattered blanket, he began tracing invisible circles on its surface with one claw.
"Well, you know, I mentioned in the letter I sent her tonight that I had learned an important lesson about being greedy, so she'll surely find out what happened. I caused a lot of havoc in town, knocking down houses and stuff... Everybody must have figured out it was me. It's not like there are other dragons in Ponyville..."
He lowered his head sadly and continued.
"Being the only one of my kind feels lonely sometimes, but at least, ponies have accepted me so far 'cause I didn't look scary for a dragon, I guess. Now, they're all gonna look at me differently. They'll see me as a threat and an unwelcome stranger among them. What if... they want me to go away?"
Twilight shifted uncomfortably on her bed. She had always avoided thinking about the difficulties her dragon assistant might encounter once he would get too big for the library, refusing to worry over issues that were still years away and that may not even concretize during her lifetime. Still, she could not deny that the fear of seeing that day come too soon was constantly on her mind.
Trying to sound convincing – perhaps in an attempt to reassure herself as much as her young friend, she firmly asserted:
"No pony will ask you to leave. Our friends know you well. They understand that you weren't being yourself and I'm sure they've already forgiven you. Besides, our town has gone through a lot more than that lately and it's still standing. I know it may sound ironic coming from me, but there's no use panicking over things that might just never happen."
"But you saw what I did to the library, to Sugarcube Corner and to the Apples' orchard. Just a few birthday presents caused all that. I could have ended up injuring someone, or worse..."
The vision of Rarity's still form came to his mind and he shuddered.
"I'm dangerous," he concluded dejectedly.
"No, you're not!" Twilight replied indignantly, leaning over the edge of her bed to look at him. "Don't say such things. No pony got hurt and I'm certain that this incident won't repeat itself, because you've learned a valuable lesson today. Listen, Spike, we all make mistakes. It's an unpleasant fact, but it's part of life and that's how we become better ponies... I mean, beings. You're definitely not the first to give in to a selfish impulse. Now you have to forgive yourself and remember what you've learned from this. The most important thing is that your love for your friends was stronger than your want in the end and it gave the real you the will to resurface. You were able to get a hold of yourself because you have a good heart."
Spike's brow furrowed as a new thought came to him.
"How can I know for sure that the good in me really is from me? I mean, being raised by ponies might have saved me from turning out like that cranky old brute I ran into the other night, but maybe nature is starting to take over. I'm trying to live like a pony, but what if I really am a dragon at heart? Dragons are known to burn down cities and to spend their lives stealing treasures, right? They don't even value friendship. The only one I've met so far tried to kill me! I don't want to become like that. I... I always thought living among ponies made me like one of them, but I just proved that I can't change what I am."
Twilight felt her heart sink and she sighed sympathetically.
"I understand. It would be useless denying that you are constituted differently from the rest of us and Zecora did say that dragons were prone to greed, but Spike... what you are is a very different thing from who you are. You mustn't think that being a dragon is a bad thing just because there are some that have chosen to follow their lower instincts. We ponies have our own share of flaws too, you're perfectly aware of that. Just living with me taught you enough about unhealthy perfectionism, I believe."
A discreet chuckle escaped Spike's half-smile and Twilight added:
"The circumstances of your birth may be peculiar, but no matter what your specific weaknesses are or how big you'll get, it's only your actions that define who you really are. What your heart is made of shows through all the time you spend helping me without complaining or asking for anything in return, or that beautiful ruby you gave up just to make Rarity happy. You can't wake up one day with a completely different personality if you stay true to yourself. You always have a choice and I know you'll make the right ones. I have faith in you."
Spike looked slightly relieved, but still thoughtful.
"I just hope you're right," he said. "I don't think I could forgive myself if I harmed someone. I'd never do so on purpose, but what if I should lose control again and forget who I am?"
Before Twilight could find something to answer, Spike went on with his train of thought.
"It's just... I... I'm scared, Twilight. I don't want things to change. I wish I could just stay this way and keep on living in the tree house with you forever. I don't want to have to leave my friends and all I have here. This is my home. I have no other place to go to, because you... you're the only family I have. I don't want to cause you any trouble. I don't know what I'd do if... if I..."
He trailed off, a lump having formed in his throat.
"Oh, Spike..."
Twilight closed her eyes and a pinkish glow began to emanate from her horn. Spike felt his body being lifted up and out of his basket, to be dropped gently onto the unicorn's bed. The latter used her magic to bring him close and tenderly wrapped her forelegs around his small figure.
"Here," she whispered soothingly, "everything's going to be alright, I promise."
Slightly taken aback by this unusual display of affection and somewhat ashamed of the vulnerability he could not hide, the young dragon only hesitated a moment before throwing his stubby arms around the purple mare's neck. As sobs started to shake his body, he buried his face into his lifelong friend's mane and tightened his grip as though his life depended on it.
The two remained locked in this silent embrace until Twilight finally pulled away enough to face him.
"Spike, do you remember the vow I made when princess Celestia allowed me to take you as my personal assistant?"
He only looked up at her expectantly.
"I supposed not. You were so young... That day, I swore on my most faithful student's honor that from that moment on, I would look over you as if you were my own little brother. I said that I would take you with me everywhere I'd go until you would be ready to go live your own life, and that I would be there for you anytime you need a friend. Now look at me, Spike."
She lifted his chin up with her hoof and his still wet green eyes finally met hers.
"Did I ever break a promise?"
Seeing his uncertain expression, Twilight quickly rectified:
"Alright, I'm not very good at keeping secrets, I admit it. This is a solemn vow we're talking about, though. You know I never make promises I don't intend to keep at any cost, right?"
Spike answered with a positive nod.
"Well, every word I said is as true today as it was when I first made that commitment. You're still my number one assistant, except that now, you are also much more than that. You have become part of my family and a special place in my heart will always be yours. Nothing you can do will ever change that, and I wouldn't let anyone take you away from me. Even if the princess herself declared that you had to leave Ponyville, then I would go with you. You're more important to me than you know, Spike, and for as long as my name is Twilight Sparkle, I will never let you be alone in this world. Can you trust me on that?"
Spike quietly shook his head and huddled close to his dearest friend, like he had done for the last time on a stormy night, back when he was still a hatchling. In the earliest years of his life, doing so would keep him warm when the winter chills got too cold for his reptilian body, but now, it was his heart that he could feel warming up. He had needed to hear those words so desperately, to be assured that the home he had found in his unicorn companion was there to stay.
"Thanks, Twi," he said. "For being like family to me and... for everything. You know, I've often wondered what my life might've been like if I'd grown up with my real parents, but right now it doesn't matter. You're the one who's always been there for me and I wouldn't want it any other way. You make a great sister."
Although her vision was blurring, a warm smile spread across Twilight's features.
"And you're the most loyal assistant I could hope for, as well as my very best friend. I haven't said it enough, but... I love you, Spike."
The young dragon beamed up.
"Love you too," he answered sleepily, before curling up into a scaly ball between the pony's front legs and letting heavy eyelids shut down on his burning eyes.
As the sound of snoring rose into the night, the purple mare smiled fondly at her little friend, thinking of how fast he was growing. He had matured so much since their departure from Canterlot, now affirming his character and striving to gain more independence each day, and yet there were times like this when he still seemed so fragile. Twilight hoped she would find a healthy balance between his increasing desire for respect and consideration and his remaining innocence that required careful guidance. She had taken upon her to be a teacher and a model for him, but now she could see how much he needed her to also be the one true friend he could always lean on.
Of course, he would certainly get to live much longer than Twilight or any of their friends would. Someday, she would have to go and leave him to find his own path in life. The mere thought of her protégé leaving the world of ponies and all he had ever known behind to face the big wild unknown on his own tore her apart, but she resolved in her heart to make the best of her time with him. For as long as she would live, she would protect him and help him find his place. He would share her adventures, let the magic of friendship grow him into the best individual he could be and start his adult life with happy memories to spare; and when he could no longer see her by his side, he would always know how dearly she had cared for him.
Laying her head down beside her sleeping companion's, Twilight decided that the next time she would see the princess, she would not miss the occasion to thank her for letting her take the baby dragon with her. Spike had shown her that caring for someone who looked up to her was a great responsibility, but most of all a great privilege. She was learning that the love of a family, no matter if bound by blood or by the heart, was infinitely more powerful than any spell she could learn from books, and that it was the only magic that truly made life worth living.
.
.
Author's final note: That's all, every pony. I know this isn't the most original idea ever, since that episode had inspired other Bronies before me, but I decided to give it a try anyway, because the relationship between these two characters is my favorite aspect of the show. Twilight and Spike usually refer to each other as friends, but the way I see it, living together for so long made them become more like family. Twilight cares for the orphaned dragon in a very motherly way, but the age gap between them isn't that important and I think their interactions most resemble those of an elder child caring for her younger (adopted) brother, though I understand that some fans may interpret it differently. Anyway, I really like the fact that Spike isn't depicted as a pet or some minion only there to serve Twilight. They obviously share a strong bond, which I find very heartwarming. I wanted to insist on how important Twilight's approbation has to be for Spike, since she appears to be the most significant pony in his life.
Having watched the entire second season before I started writing this, I would have liked to refer to the events of "Dragon Quest", since that episode is the one that has touched the subject of Spike's identity the most so far, but I did not, because I wanted to situate this fic right after "Secret of my Excess", when the events were still very fresh in Spike's memory.
That's pretty much all I had to say in conclusion, so thanks again for taking the time to read this story and please feel free to leave me a little review! ;)
.
Update: I would like to thank my first reviewer, Heartless demon wolf, for the positive feedback. Precise and honest comments help me know what my readers preferred and how I can improve my writing. Your support is very appreciated!
A warm thank you also to those who have added this fic to their favorite stories. It's always encouraging. ^_^