Emiya Clan – Ouran 03
There was a crash, the sound of a table being knocked over and shattering ceramics accompanied by a womanly shriek. Heads all across the room turned to stare at the sight of a girl flat on her back, the blue uniform of a male student stretched over her body. To the casual passerby, what was happening was clearly obvious, supported when the female student's cries became coherent.
"Help! Haruhi-kun suddenly attacked me!" Ayanokouji was shouting. "Please save me from this peasant studen–"
There was a sudden splash as Hikaru and Kaoru, returning from fetching drinks for their own customers, upended the contents of their tray on the hysterical woman.
""Oops~"" they drawled simultaneously. ""Sorry, our hands just slipped.""
The irate third year gaped in shock, her mouth bobbing in place as she sputtered. "Wha..what?" She paused as a shadow fell across her, looking up at the King of the Host Club reached down to gracefully pull her to her feet. "Tamaki-sama!" she pleaded as her eyes turned to glare at the club's newest host. "Tamaki-sama, please punish that filthy commoner for–"
"How disgraceful," Tamaki cut her off, his voice reproachful, but no less warm. "To think you were the one vandalizing Haruhi-kun's school supplies."
"How could you say such a thing?" Her voice took a shrill edge. "What proof could you possibly–?"
Kyouya walked up with a series of photographs, each showing a female student hurling the contents of a bag into the fountain, each with Ayanokouji's face clearly displayed. "Please, do not underestimate my intelligence networks," he said loftily. "Of course, this is not the only concrete evidence we possess."
"This person is so scary," Honey said sadly.
"She is ugly on the inside," Mori added.
The Hitachiin twins simply stuck out their tongues at her.
"It's such a sad situation," Tamaki was saying at the shocked student, "when a person's outer beauty does not match their personality. I'm terribly sorry, but I must ask you leave. We cannot have a customer who behaves so rudely to one of our members."
"Stu... Stupid Tamaki-sama!" she wailed as she fled from the room.
Honey and Mori went back to their customers, Hikaru threw a towel over Haruhi while Kaoru went in search of more drinks for their own group, Tamaki bent down to help Haruhi gather her spilled possessions, and Kyouya smiled as he collapsed the fan of photographs back into a neat stack and pocketed them. He turned to the student shadowing him. "I'm sorry you had to witness that, Emiya-sempai," he said. "I hope this did not make you reconsider your decision."
"Not at all," Takeshi said with a smile of his own. "If anything, it has strengthened my resolve."
"That is good to hear," the Shadow King replied. He turned to the side and his grin – while not increasing in size any – took on a more authentic appearance as Tamaki picked up a small wallet from the ground. "I'm sure once Tamaki gets over his shock, he'll be happy to show you the ropes."
"His shock? What do you..." Takeshi followed his gaze and watched the blonde freeze in place as he read the contents of Haruhi's school ID. "Oh..."
Kyouya checked his watch and smirked. "That took him longer than even I would have guessed."
ooo
Takeshi leaned back into his seat as he finished explaining his situation to his parents.
The adults sitting on the other side of the table stared at him in silence for a few moments.
"I'm sorry," Shirou said, blinking. "Did you just say you went and joined..."
"I did," Takeshi interrupted.
"...And that you will be serving..."
"I will."
"And you still have not managed to..."
"I did not."
Shirou sighed and reached up to massage his temples while Miya arched an eyebrow. "This wasn't exactly what I meant when I said you should try to understand your Ashikabi, Takeshi."
"I'm sorry, Mother."
On Shirou's other side, Homura leaned back and crossed her arms. "Well, I'm beginning to understand why you asked me to be here for this. At the same time, while the general idea is the same, I'm almost certain a school-run club differs greatly from my experiences."
"Even getting to the point of minor differences is probably more than I am capable of," Takeshi admitted. "No offence to you, Mother, but my upbringing has not exactly prepared me for a situation like this."
"Something I am exceedingly proud for," Miya said stiffly.
"Show me how you'd try to operate," Homura suggested. "Maybe it's not as bad as you think, you might be able to pull it off."
Takeshi stared at them. "...On you?"
"Would you rather do it to your own mother?"
"Ah, good point." Takeshi frowned and closed his eyes briefly. The brief moment stretched out into seconds, then minutes as his brow furrowed and he broke into sweats. "I can't do it," he finally said. "They're just... too horrible."
"Eh, try, at least show me what they normally do."
"You asked for it..." Takeshi closed his eyes again as he searched his memories. Finally he opened them and a light seemed to sparkle in his eyes as his mouth curled into a soft grin. "My lady," he said loftily, leaning in towards the Flame Sekirei and grabbed at her hands. "This one's heart burns, this passion is set aflame just for this brief chance for my unworthy self to be under your adoring gaze."
Homura and Shirou's eyes both started twitching, while Miya hid her face behind the sleeve of her kimono. "What... was that?" Homura asked.
The door to the room shuddered briefly and muffled laughter could be heard behind it. Takeshi dropped his step-mother's hands and lowered his head. "It's what I would imagine Suoh-kun would say if he ever met you."
Shirou walked silently to the door and yanked it open, letting Kazehana and Uzume spill through as they suddenly lost balance. Even as they yelped in surprise, Kazehana was still laughing uncontrollably.
Shirou shook his head and sighed as he waved them through, then closed the door behind them and walked back to the couch.
"That's just a little bit different from what I might have used on my customers, back in the day," Homura said carefully.
"I don't know," Kazehana said with a giggle, "It sounds perfectly charming to me. I think I'd like to meet that boy someday."
"Takeshi," Miya said, lowering her sleeve. "Please tell me your Ashikabi is not spouting such nonsense in the course of her duties."
"Fortunately, no," Takeshi said with obvious relief. "Considering the whole club is just that – a club – rather than each host competing with each other for customers, it seems they have it set up for specific personality types." He opened a hand and began to tick off points as Kazehana and Uzume found seats for themselves.
ooo
"Takeshi-sempai!" Tamaki had a nervous smile on his face. "I'd welcome you to the club with more pomp and circumstance but there is a small matter I need to attend to..."
"I already know about Haruhi-san, Suoh-kun," Takeshi said. "That's actually part of the reason I'm here, to give her some more support."
"Ah, well... then it is absolutely wonderful you are here! Haruhi could always use another commoner like yourself, even if you are several years apart."
Takeshi's eyes twitched slightly.
Suoh-kun calls himself the 'Princely-type', that sort of shameless flattery combined with his upper-class etiquette. He's actually the most popular host for that reason, which is why I used him as an example.
...
"Emiya-sempai, thank you again for your role in resolving this recent unpleasantness." Kyouya adjusted his glasses briefly. "I'd like to continue this partnership for similar matters in the future, if I am able."
Takeshi smiled back at him, "If it's for the sake of maintaining order, I'll be more than happy to help you in any way I can."
"Since you have mentioned it, we always aim to improve our clients' experiences. So if you or your family can assist us in any way, I would greatly appreciate it."
Takeshi's smile became somewhat brittle at the subtle digging into his family history.
Ootori-kun is considered the 'Cool-type', he's completely civil to customers and polite to a fault, always helpful. But he's also amazingly perceptive, subtly manipulating and encouraging them to designate certain hosts or engage in paid club activities. Considering he seems to be managing the club's finances, that last behavior is probably not too surprising.
...
"Takeshi-kun! You're here! You're here!" A bright bundle of energy bounce across the room and glomped onto Takeshi, who pried him off shortly and handed him to the stoic boy following him.
"Yes, Haninozuka-kun," you have succeeded beyond your wildest dreams," Takeshi said drolly.
"Mouu~ Takeshi-kun, we're partners now! You have to call me 'Honey', ne?"
"...yes, Hani-kun."
"Close enough!"
Haninozuka-kun and Morinozuka-kun seem to be a paired set. 'Honey-kun' is considered a 'Loli-Shota-type', for obvious reasons I believe. Morinozuka-kun is a foil to Honey's exuberance, called the 'Wild-type' because he often reacts instinctually to most events. He's generally quiet, but fiercely protective of Honey.
...
"So~" a redhead drawled as he slid into view from Takeshi's right.
"You're the mysterious student Honey-sempai kept talking about last year," a second, identical redhead said from his left.
Takeshi shuddered. No thanks to his family, he possessed more than his share of bad memories of mischievous redheads. "I have no idea what Hani-kun may have been saying, but you might be right," he said neutrally.
"So, Kaoru," said one of them. "I've been wondering–"
"I have been too, Hikaru," said the other. "After all, he resembles Kyouya-sempai quite a bit..."
""Do we have another polite-looking member hiding a demonic face?"" the two asked in tandem, whipping their heads around to stare at Takeshi.
Across the room, eating his sweets in peace, Hani dropped his fork and shivered as a sudden chill ran up his spine. Takeshi simply smiled and didn't answer.
There are two Hitachiin brothers, identical twins. They're the 'Brotherly Love' type, and are quite possibly the second-highest popular group. They don't so much flirt with their customers as much as they flirt with each other, one acting as the seme and the other the uke. I'm honestly not sure which is which, and for all I know, they're trading off positions.
...
"... !" Tamaki flailed his arms mutely.
"Honestly, Tamaki-sempai, it was your own idea for me to work to clear my debt. I don't see why you'd suddenly have a problem with it."
"... !"
"Hm, I suppose I should be referring to myself using 'ore' then, it would probably make more sense to my customers." She turned in her pacing and paused, looking up. "Ah, Takeshi-sempai, I'm glad you're here."
The club's newest member fought against the blush that threatened to show up on his face. "I hope we all get along with each other," he said.
ooo
"...Finally there is Fujioka-san, my potential Ashikabi. I can't tell if she's actively trying or not, but Suoh-kun has dubbed her a 'Natural-type'. As far as I can tell, she just makes regular conversation with her customers, but something she says seems to set them off almost as well as the other members towards their own customers."
"And how will you fit into all this?" Miya pressed.
"I don't know," Takeshi admitted. He turned towards Homura, "I was hoping you could tell me, or at least give me some pointers."
"Well," the former Host said thoughtfully. "The thing is, although customers do want to be treated well, they want to believe their hosts have geniune interests in themselves. Acting is usually not the best way to go, because on some minute level they might know its false. Those twins you mentioned might be good enough to keep their clients from noticing but you, Takeshi, I'm not sure what advice I can give you beyond 'be yourself' and just try to actually be considerate."
"I don't know about that," Uzume chimed in. "He takes after his mother quite a bit..."
"And what's wrong with that?" Miya asked sweetly.
"Nothing!" Uzume replied quickly. "It's just that... can you imagine Miya being a hostess?"
The whole room fell silent for a few moments, then almost everybody shuddered. Takeshi lowered his head into his hands, while Miya smiled happily at the thought of much justice being meted out.
"Sorry I couldn't help you any more, Takeshi," Homura said.
"Just take care of yourself," Shirou added. He winced, "And... try not to psychologically damage any of your customers..."
ooo
The next day, like Haruhi before him, Takeshi found himself serving a trio of schoolgirls under Tamaki's watchful eye.
"Takeshi-kun," one of them cooed. "What do you like to do for fun?"
"Well, ah, I work out a bit," Takeshi stammered out. "But normally I find myself cleaning up after my younger siblings."
"Oh!" said a second girl. "Takeshi-kun, tell us about your family, do you have many siblings?"
"I have... several," he replied cautiously. Several dozen, he mentally added. He threw a glance to the side and caught Tamaki smiling at him. He refocused his attention back on the girls and blew out a theatrical sigh. "They do tend to be a bit aggravating at times," he admitted, "but I do love them dearly." He threw another glance towards the blonde. "Someday I hope I can share such close bonds with you all."
Tamaki gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up as the girls swooned and leaned in towards him. "Aah, Takeshi-ku~un!"
Takeshi leaned away slightly and tried to shove down the impulse to shout about improper behaviors. He found his escape as he looked down at the table. "Oh, let me refill your drinks for you." He placed all of their glasses onto a tray and quickly made his way towards the cart where the various juice mixes and teapots sat.
Tamaki joined him shortly, "That was well done, Emiya-sempai! I knew you'd be nervous on your first day, but I remembered how Haruhi displayed her natural ability when talking about her family. Kyouya helped by giving your customers a list of questions to ask so you could have a similar dialogue to open yourself up!"
Takeshi blinked, "Did he now...?" He continued to pour out the drinks very carefully, "I'll have to remember to thank him later."
ooo
"So, Takeshi-kun, what kind of workouts do you do?"
"I practice archery a bit, but I mostly follow my family's sword style."
"Martial arts! Are you strong?"
"I'm passable," Takeshi said modestly. "I'm more proficient than my siblings, but I still have a long way to go since my parents can still wipe the floor with me."
""Oh? Who's stronger then, Takeshi-sempai or Mori-sempai?""
Takeshi and his clients looked up to see Hikaru and Kaoru leaning over the backrest of Takeshi's couch. "I wouldn't know," Takeshi said. "I've not had the pleasure of seeing Morinozuka-kun in a match before."
"Aah! Wasn't Mori-sempai the captain of the Kendo Club before he joined the Host Club?" one of the girls squealed.
"Yes, just like Honey-sempai was the captain of the Karate Club!"
"Hani-kun was?" Takeshi blinked.
""Oh yeah,"" the twins chorused. ""Some called him the Demon of the Karate Club back in the day, and Mori-sempai was his second.""
Takeshi raised his hands placatingly. "Well... then I'm certain I would stand no chance," he said. "I only practice while I'm at home, after all." Full contact sparring against Mother for several hours at a time... He managed to keep a slightly disinterested expression externally, though he was sweating on the inside. Can't draw attention to the Clan...
"I'd like to see Takeshi-kun in his Kendo uniform," said one girl dreamily.
"I don't actually practice Kendo," Takeshi said.
""Alright!"" The Hitachiin twins spun around. ""Hey, Mori-sempai! The New Guy wants to challenge you!""
"I never said that!" Takeshi snapped.
"Oh? Takeshi-kun wants to challenge Takashi?" Honey bounced into view. "Takashi, are you going to accept?"
". . ." Mori said.
Honey jumped excitedly, "He said 'yes!'"
"I didn't hear a 'yes'," Takeshi sputtered.
Several girls shrieked happily at the thought of seeing two attractive boys getting sweaty in front of them.
The air around Takeshi darkened abruptly as he rigidly held his hands against his sides. His voice was suddenly low and somewhat ominous. "Violence, in the school, should not–"
"Takeshi-sempai," a soft hand closed around his and the darkness vanished abruptly.
Takeshi recoiled as his head exploded for another reason and he staggered back several steps.
Haruhi kept his hand in her own and kept pace with him. "I think it'd be interesting to see Takeshi-sempai spar with Mori-sempai. It's just a friendly competition, right?"
"Um, well..." Takeshi stammered as he struggled to control his Reaction.
"Of course," Kyouya said as he walked up. "We would never allow our club members to put each other, or our customers, into any danger. We'll set up a proper venue shortly, and tickets to the event will be available on our website shortly."
As the girls – and Tamaki – cried out in excitement, two identical boys released themselves from the other's protective grasp.
"Hikaru, what was that just now?"
"I don't know, Kaoru, but I thought I almost heard Ominous Latin Chanting."
"Did you see a face?"
"Not quite, but maybe something that could have been."
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Probably..."
The Hitachiin twins narrowed their eyes and grinned. ""I think we have a very interesting new toy in our possession...""
(a/n) – the problem with doing an insert into a canon series is keeping it close enough to source material so it's not entirely different, yet not so close it's the exact same-old. Nerima was easier because it took place after canon, while the same could not be done for Ouran because... Ouran ends in a manner that would not work for what we're trying to do.
on the other hand, i'm no good when dealing with the TheStationsofCanon (i have renewed respect for GB in pulling it off, whether he did it well or not) so i'm putting just enough in for establishing the setting, then i plan to go off on a completely different tangent.
that in itself has it's own problems... but hopefully i can avoid complaints of 'rehashing' the story. hopefully.