Lessons and Thoughts

We checked into the closest hotel by Merlin's house we could find. We got three rooms. One for Kaity and I, one for Roxas and Sora, and one for Riku. The rooms in the hotel had two twin beds, a bathroom with a shower, and one dresser. It wasn't much, but it was simple and that was just fine. The balcony connecting to the room had a stunning view of the town and the castle. It was especially beautiful with the sun slowly setting behind the castle.

After we were done settling into our room, I grabbed my bag and plopped down into one of the two chairs placed on the back balcony. Kaity crashed onto one of the beds and hadn't moved since we entered the room. So I took it upon myself to find some way to entertain myself. That's when I noticed the view. I couldn't find anything else to do, so I decided to sketch the scenery from the balcony chairs. After settling my chair, I laid my bow on the table close to me, in case any heartless popped up.

My hands glided smoothly and confidently over the paper as I attempted to recreate the marvel before me. Already, various hues of sea blue, russet orange, and sun set pink were littering the white page in my sketchbook. Although the colors say different, the sun was far from setting. By a few hours at the most. I rested the pencil against the page and took in the scene laid out before me for the hundredth time. I relaxed into my seat, and for the first time since Kaity and I arrived in this universe I felt...like I could finally breathe. Like the stress wasn't going to smother me. I sighed and smiled slightly as I sketched the outline of the castle in the distance.

"Nice view, huh?"

I let out a startled gasp and whipped my head up towards the voice. So much for peace and quiet.

"You have talent." Said Roxas from above me. His arms were folded under his chin on the edge of the roof. The rest of his body was laid out on the rest of the roof behind him. I had to crane my head up to see him. His eyes were focused on my drawing.

"What?" I said brilliantly. How did I not notice him up there? I didn't even hear him climb up there.

"Your drawing." He pointed out. "You're very good."

"Oh," I said looking back down to it. "Uh, thanks." I looked back up at him. He shifted his eyes to mine. The color of his eyes was the same as the sky above us. So light and beautiful...but hiding something behind it. We stared at each other for awhile. I tried to peer into those depths. To the universe hidden behind the sky. But...my eyes were too weak to see past the blue veil. I closed my eyes and lowered my head letting out a soft sigh. I wonder what he can see when he looks into my eyes. If he can see the strange darkness hidden under the canopy of leaves. I groaned mentally. I do not need to be thinking about this.

"Um, what are you doing up there anyways, Roxas?" I asked as I ran a Caribbean blue pencil across the page.

"Hm?" He said as if I pulled him out of his thoughts. "Oh, just board."

"So...your watching me draw?

"Yup."

"Okay..." I drew out the word to emphasize the weirdness of his actions. Not that I'm not used to people watching me draw. I don't exactly like it. Besides, what's fun about watching someone else do something as boring as drawing? "Why aren't you with Sora or Riku?"

"Sora is off meeting up with old friends and Riku is... somewhere." He explained. Somewhere? That's a perfect place to be. "Where's Kaity?"

"Inside staring at the ceiling." I said while picking out a tint of pink. "It's a lot more fun than it sounds. I do it all the time." I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye with a small smile. "You should try it sometime."

Roxas laughed. "So, are you ready to fight some heartless tomorrow?"

"Nope." I made the 'p' pop with my lips. "I'm really only good for the flying ones and really big heartless. There's a lot of ground heartless here. I'll be completely useless." I explained miserably.

"Why are you only good for flying heartless?" He asked. "Wait, don't you know how to fight?"

I pointed with my left hand to my bow that was lying on the table. "I'm long ranged." I said grabbing another color. "And no, I don't really know how to fight. I'm kind of a pacifist, actually."

"Not even self-defense?" He asked surprised.

"Well, I know some self defense and a few other techniques, but other than that...No experience at all."

"Well, we're just going to have to fix that now, aren't we?"

I looked up at Sora and Roxas' hotel balcony to the left of me. Riku was perched on the stone guardrail that wrapped around the balcony. He was leaning against the bricks watching me draw. What is so fascinating about me drawing? I mean, really? Wait a second...What did he say?

"We're going to what?" I asked. "Wait, no, I don't need-" I faltered when I looked into his exasperated face.

He stood straight and stretched, "You can't go out fighting heartless without knowing how to throw a punch."

I stiffened. "I know how to throw a punch!" I snapped offended.

"Nevertheless, you need to learn more than that." He walked along the rail until he stood near the front of it. He looked back to me. "Come on." His eyes shifted to Roxas. "You too, Roxas."

"Uh, where are we going?" I asked confused as I leaned forward in my seat.

"I'm going to teach you how to fight." He stated like it was obvious. Well... it was, but that's beside the point. When he saw my reluctance to move, he narrowed his eyes at me through his bangs. "You don't have a choice in this, Sam."

I hesitated for a moment while Roxas joined Riku on the ledge. "Don't have a choice, my butt." I muttered. But he was right. I needed to learn how to defend myself. I sighed heavily and packed away my supplies and sketch book into my bag. I rose out of my seat and went into the room to set my bag on my bed. Kaity was still staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, Roxas and Riku are forcing me to learn how to fight." I called over to her. "Want to come?"

"No."

No? Kaity never say's no. I peered at her. She truly looked bored and tired and... in pain. Okay..."Hey, Kai, you okay over there? You look horrible."

"Headache." She grumbled.

I walked into the bathroom and came out with a small white pill bottle in my hand. "Kind of surprising that they have Tylenol here, yeah?" I threw the bottle at her side on the blanket. She picked it up and peered at it. "Take some. You'll feel better in about twenty minutes. If you want to join us then, we'll probably be in a large open space. Like the Castle Gate, the Great Maw, or somewhere. If you don't want too, Sora went out looking for old friends. You could look for him."

"Yeah, alright." Kaity pushed herself up and made her way to the bathroom.

It was weird. Earlier today, I had felt a headache coming on and took something for it before it got too bad. Kaity has a headache now as well. Maybe it's just because our minds are adjusting to the fact that we can communicate telepathically now.

"If you choose to do neither, try and get some sleep." I called to her. "I'm going to go, I'll see you later." A grumble of some kind followed me out of the door.

I closed the door and looked up into the boys impatient faces. Well, Riku's impatient face. Riku had his arms crossed and was taping his fingers on his arms. Roxas was just standing there with his hands in his pockets, gazing off into the sun. I made a face at Riku. He sighed and turned around to jump down to the cobblestone path below. Roxas followed him. I walked to the edge of the balcony and peered down to them. They looked up at me from the ground expectantly. Uh, there is no way they expect me to jump down after them. Because I'm not.

"Uh, I think that I'm just going to take the stairs." I called down to them.

Riku narrowed his eyes at me. "Jump."

"It's not that far." Roxas called up.

"We don't have all day." Riku added.

"Yeah, no. I'll see you in a second."

"Sam..." Riku sighed irritated.

I groaned. Why me? I backed up from the rail and ran my hand across it. The surface was much like the rail at Disney Castle. Wide and smooth. Hmph.

You know that stupid question every single parent asks? The one about the friend that jumps off the bridge? Well...I guess this is my mom's answer.

I backed up to the door and pressed up against it and looked to the heavens. I cannot believe that I am doing this. My lungs filled with a deep breath of air as I lurched forward for the rail. My strides were long and confident. I reached for the rail in three strides and stuck out the palm of my hand to press against the cool surface. I made sure it was placed in a way so that it wouldn't twist the wrong way. On my last step, I pushed up with the balls of my feet to throw myself up into the air. Time seemed to slow as my body went parallel to the rail. My knees were bent back, already prepared for the coming impact. My body arched over the rail and I began to descend. My hand slipped from the surface and both of my arms flew out to my sides. My knees were bent so that I wouldn't break my legs on impact. The balls of my feet hit the cobblestone, absorbing the force of the impact. I let out a long breath in relief.

I did it. I jumped from a two story balcony. Awesomeness! Take that bridge jumping people! I stood up straight and looked to Riku and Roxas. A proud smile was running through my brain and most likely across my face. Riku just gave an annoyed sigh and took off down the alley. Roxas half smiled at me and ran off after Riku. Well, proudness gone. I lowered my head and sighed before taking off after the two of them.

We raced to the Bailey, down the rubble slide and turned to go down the left stone path. I knew this path. It's the path that leads down to the Castle Gate.

The three of us slowed to a walk at the bottom of the steps. I stopped not far from the steps and examined the area. There was still some rubble that littered the sides of the surrounding cliffs, but the blue and mint green mosaic on the ground was still intact with all of its colors. I tilted my head a bit while looking down at the design. This is the place where Sora defeated Demyx in the second game. Oh, how I hated that battle. Took me two days to beat him. However, it took me six month to beat Xaldin, so it wasn't my worst.

"Is this where we are practicing?" I asked as I examined the area.

"Yes." Riku confirmed. He turned to me and waited while I walked up to him. I stopped about a yard away from him. Roxas didn't join us, but stood to the side. I wonder what Riku has on his mind. Teaching me how to fight is about as good as trying to teach a cow to move out of the road.

"How much do you know about fighting?" He asked. "So that I have some idea of where to begin."

I thought about that for a minute. "Just a few basic moves, really." I admitted. "Like, how to throw a punch, twist a person's arm, and knock someone's feet out from under them..."

"Alright." He said taking a few steps back. "Give it a go." He spread his arms wide in invitation.

"I'm sorry?" I asked taken aback.

"Show me what you can do." He said. It sounded more like an order... "That is, if you can." He challenged with a smirk.

He's baiting me. I narrowed my eyes at him and scowled. What a jerk. Trying to provoke a girl into fighting him. Hmph. I kept my body relaxed. My brain shifted through several different scenarios of attacking him. My muscles began to tense as I thought about what I would have to do.

Rule number one about fighting: Never show your opponent that you mean to attack.

I mentally smirked and lifted my bow over my head and set it on the steps by a cliff wall. I went to walk back to where I was standing, but that wasn't my plan. Taking a deep, silent breath, I made my steps look nervous and reluctant. I watched Riku's eyes flicker over to Roxas and I snatched that temporary moment of carelessness and launched myself at him. My steps echoed off the surrounding cliff walls as I came down upon him.

Fisting my right hand I braced my weight in my left foot as it landed before him, propelling my fisted hand right into his side below his ribcage. With most people, if you hit them right in the gut the reaction isn't great. Some can hardly feel the blow and recover quickly. Especially with my strength. It would have felt like being hit by a teddy bear. However, when something hits you in the side, it hurts like all the fires of Hell.

Riku reflexively punched out his right hand to throw me off, but I was already expecting that. I ducked down to a crouch as his arm flew over me, hitting air. With a quick breath, I moved to the side and kicked his knees out from under him. Riku's legs buckled from underneath him and he started to fall to the left. I prepared to launch myself away before he could retaliate. However, I'm inexperience and Riku taller, bigger, and smarter than I am. Besides that, I'm as slow as a snail in molasses.

As Riku was falling, he swung out his left leg and caught me on my side. A sharp pain exploded across on my left side. I let in a sharp gasp and hit the ground hard. Riku pushed up off of the ground with his right arm and pushed himself onto me. The force of him falling on top of me made us tumble across the ground. We stopped rolling with Riku on top and me on the bottom, totally pinned down. I glared up at him fuming. He just smirked back at me. Oh, how I wish I could slap that smirk off of his face!

"That was good." He appraised. He wasn't even out of breath! God, I suck. "Nice way of approaching, could have used a bit more force in the punch, but a well planned attack for getting your enemy to fall." He narrowed his eyes a bit at some thought. "However, you're too slow. If you'd gotten away sooner, you would have been fine." He stood up and offered a hand to me.

I scoffed at him. Ignoring his offer, I stood up and dusted myself off. Riku pulled back his hand and looked over to Roxas. "What do you think?"

"Predictable." He answered. "A punch to weaken the enemy followed by a kick to the knees to bring them down. Effective, but predictable."

Hmph. I never said I was an expert. I only know the basics so that I can escape if someone tries to take advantage of me. Like I've said many times before, I don't like to fight. But it seems that I don't have much of a choice anymore in what I want...

The rest of the evening progressed on with both Roxas and Riku teaching me how to attack and defend myself. One would teach me to do something and demonstrate the move, while the other would correct my stance and angle. After an hour or two, I ran out of strength and went to sit on the stone steps. The boys had decided to spar with each other. Riku summoned his Keyblade (The Way to Dawn) while Roxas summoned his Keyblades Oblivion and Oathkeeper. I had noticed Sora using the Kingdom Key earlier today while sparing with Kaity. Hm, I wonder if Kaity and I will ever get Keyblades...

Probably not.

I sat there for another few minutes watching the boys fight. My mind wondering aimlessly. Then a question popped up in my thoughts. I focused back on the guys.

"Hey, Roxas," I called out.

"Yeah?" He said while dodging an attack from Riku.

"Why aren't you joined with Sora anymore?"

Roxas froze and looked at me startled. What did I say? I ran back over the question in my head. Realization and stupidity washed over me. Ah, crap. That question indicated that I knew he was a Nobody. Sora's Nobody. Not knowing what else to do, I covered my slip-up with a face. "I'm not stupid."

Roxas glanced at Riku. "How did you know what I was?"

"I may not know how to fight, but that doesn't mean that I know nothing." I replied dryly. "After learning about the Heartless, I became curious to what happened to the soul and the body after the heart was gone. Whether they died or become something else." That's not a lie. After I did learn about the Heartless in Kingdom Hearts, I did wonder about that. Then Kingdom Hearts II came out. "So I went into researching about it. I found an answer to my question." Yeah, that is if you count online sights, manuals to the game, and manga books research.

Roxas warily looked at me. "I was fused with Sora, but then a few days ago, I woke up lying on Sora's bed room floor. For some reason, after Sora absorbed the powers that were transferred to me when I was born, his heart kicked me out. It was weird... It was like I no longer belonged within him..." Roxas had switched his gaze from me to the setting sun where his face lit up with the dim rays. Roxas was kicked out? How could that be? Every site, book, and even the creator of Kingdom Hearts said that Roxas was officially connected with Sora. That he was gone, but somehow still within the other side of his heart. Wow...Something I don't know about Kingdom Hearts. Now I'm screwed... how much of what I know is a lie?

Riku must have been studying my expressions, because he was wearing that look again. The same one he was wearing when he first met Kaity and I. the silent, contemplative suspicion. Crap. I thought we had moved past this already. I met his gaze with my own. What could it be this time? What could he know...

"It's strange..." Riku started slowly, "You seem to know so much about us...this world and universe...like you had been with us our whole lives, but we've never met before and we know nothing of you."

I held my breath. I hadn't been careful enough.

"So," He said crossing his arms. "Why don't you enlighten us a bit about yourself. Your past, problems, and adventures. You seem to already know all about ours."

I felt my face harden. From what emotion, I don't know. So many where churning inside me from his words. Anger, sorrow, pain...shame. I held his gaze as the emotions flashed across my eyes. They were too quick for one to remain constant, but I allowed them to be shown. My eyes widened when I saw them reflected within Riku's eyes from my own. There were too many... I quickly shut my eyes to darkness before he accidently saw something I didn't want him to know. I turned my head to the distance and ground my teeth. How could I be so stupid? The warmth of the sun fell on my face. The coolness of the breeze glided across my cheeks. I let out the breath I had been holding.

My problems...my past...

Hmph...My problem is my past. The way I had been brought up. What I was made to believe. Everything I thought that had been true. Everything I found to be a lie. The pain of the loneliness. The longing to be accepted. To be a part of something bigger then myself and my own little world. The shame and rejection that clouded most memories...These are my issues. My adventures. Not theirs. They have no reason to know about them. No reason to know about me. I won't be here that long anyways. But I have a reason to know them. I don't know what that reason is, but I do have it.

A sort of hollowness settled over me as I opened my eyes to the sun. "It's late." I said tonelessly. "We should get back." I lowered my head and picked up my bow from the ground.

"You didn't answer me." Riku stated sharply.

"Of course." I fired back. "No questions were asked." I still didn't look at him as I slung my bow across my back.

"Why won't you answer me? What are you hiding?"

I pivoted away from them. "Nothing."

"Oh, okay, nothing." He aggregately crossed his arms. "I'm sure that nothing didn't have any relation what-so-ever to all that anger and shame that had flashed across your face." I snapped my head around to face Riku's irked gaze. He just stood there. He uncrossed his arms as he continued to speak. "I can sense how close you are to the darkness. If you don't begin to reign in those feelings, the darkness will eat away at them until your empty. A hollow being with no purpose to live." He ended, biting off his words.

I glared at him with all the anger I could muster up, but before it could burst out, my eyes lit with a knowing gleam. Now it was my turn to make Riku glare at me. I gave out a long breath and looked to the sky now alight with the colors of the setting sun. "It is not your place to know me. It is, however, my place to know you." I looked back down to him. "Riku..." I faltered and sighed; glancing first to Roxas then back to the setting sun. "Soon... there will come a time that we will all have to make a choice..." My eyes rested back on his. "Between what is right... and what is easy. It is after that time that you may question me and my choices." I turned to walk away. I was becoming more irrational. No one stopped me as I made my way out of the area and up the treacherous path. After I turned the corner and I was out of sight, I let out a breath and stared at the path. "But that's only if you make the choice as well... I'm not the only one getting to close to the darkness."

I eventually made it back to the hotel. Kaity was leaning on an outside wall and smiled brightly when she saw me coming. She skipped over to me with the never ending energy she seemed to always carry with her. "So, how was training?"

I shrugged. "It was okay." I smiled in reassurance. "Learned something, got to punch Riku," She laughed. "Honestly, I'm just really tired."

"We'll go back up to the room then." She said turning to go into the hotel.

"Yeah, okay." I yawned and followed her inside and up the stairs to our floor.