The following chapter contains spoilers for the season finale and like always, I don´t own own anything, if I did- well, let´s not go there right now…
metube: Like always, thank you so much for being such a faithful reader and for reviewing each and every chapter, it´s my greatest motivation to go on 3
I´ll see if I can find a way to include Curran again, he´s an interesting character and it would be an idea to see how he manages to get along with everyone later on.
I don´t know about a second season, I have some ideas but it´d be a large project and I´m not sure I`ll actually pull it off since I won´t have anything to go on- I´m working on a story about the Sixers, how they arrived and how they left TN again, through Wash´s eyes, I might start posting that next, once this one is done.
Dear ´guest´, here´s the next part, thanks for inquiring :)
They had been sitting in silence for hours, Taylor motionless, Wash feeling helpless, useless and finally she couldn´t take it anymore and got up from the sofa, making her way to the door and wrenching it open, the cool night air making her shiver.
She doubted he had even noticed her departure, he seemed miles and miles away and she had no idea how to reach him, perhaps giving him some space would be good for them both.
The lieutenant took her radio out of her pocked at activated it, feeling relieved when Jim Shannon answered instantly.
"Hey, Wash- anything I can help you with?"
"You could meet me at Boylan´s for a drink."
"Sure, see you in five."
He was already waiting for her when she arrived at the bar, obviously he hadn´t been at home when she had called him.
"Had to get away?"
He asked, sounding sympathetic and she nodded, leading the way down the steps.
"He hasn´t said a word since I came home, I don´t think he´ll even notice I´m gone."
"Elisabeth is still at the infirmary, Maddy´s playing cards with Reynolds and Zoe, they´re letting Zoe win."
He smiled lightly, then added "I don´t think they´ll miss me."
Josh waved at them from the bar and they walked over to him and ordered a bottle of Bourbon and two glasses before sitting down at table in a quieter part of the room.
Wash threw back her first shot and instantly refilled the glass, looking up when Jim´s hand found her´s.
"He hasn´t talked on the way back, either, don´t beat yourself up, it´s not your fault."
"It is, in a way."
Wash swirled the amber liquid around in her glass, then added "Lucas thinks his father was in love with me back in thirty eight already."
Shannon nodded thoughtfully.
"Was he?"
"Straight to the point, like always- I´ve never thought about it until a few months ago, Taylor says he was, fact is that he could have saved both Lucas and Ayani if he hadn´t stayed with me instead."
"I bet that makes you Lucas´ best buddy."
Shannon sounded about as amused as Wash felt but she had to smile all the same, it was so utterly ridiculous, sitting here, getting drunk on purpose with a man she had only known for a few months to avoid Nathaniel but somehow it was what she needed right now.
"Just about, I´m high up on his priority list of people he´d like to kill."
"Here´s to being popular" Jim joked, making Wash chuckle darkly as she lifted her glass in a mock salute.
"Cheers."
They refilled their glasses again and even though Wash wasn´t feeling anywhere close to drunk yet, she was beginning to feel more relaxed.
"So how is going with your family, they must be worried, too."
"Elisabeth is coming to the portal with us-" Jim interrupted himself when he noticed the scowl on Wash´s face and put his hand on her´s, squeezing lightly.
"I´m sorry."
"Not your fault- or her´s- so you´re leaving the kids here?"
"I trust Josh to take care of his sisters- and then you´ll be here, that´s about as safe as they can get."
"Despite of what you might believe, I´m not a very good babysitter."
Jim chuckled.
"Yeah, I can see that, you´d be downright scary as a babysitter, you´d make them stand at attention and command them to tidy up their room and eat their dinner in the same tone you use with your soldiers."
"Might be effective- I don't really mind kids, Zoe´s cute and so is Leah and I used to spend a lot of time around Tasha Guzman when she was little and we were at base, I simply can´t bring myself to treat them as anything but small adults."
"I could never picture myself with kids, either but then Josh came along and then Maddy and it was fascinating, watching them grow up, wouldn´t have missed it for the world."
"Being away from them must have been hard" Wash mused and Jim nodded.
"Hardest time of my life, especially because of Zoe, she was so little, I wasn´t sure she´d even remember me and then all the trouble with Josh, he still blames me for leaving him alone when he needed me."
Wash looked over to the young man at the bar, currently serving some of Guzman´s men.
"He´s going to be fine, Shannon, he´s a good kid, takes responsibility for his actions, works hard- you should be proud of him."
Jim smiled at her, nodding gratefully.
"Thanks, Wash, I actually am- I´m worried about them, though, if I didn´t know that you´ll be here- if anything happened to them, I could never forgive myself."
"You can´t think like that, not before going out on a mission."
She poured herself another drink, then leaned back in her seat and looked back at Jim.
"You did what you thought was best for them, bringing them here, you know as well as I that they wouldn´t have had a future in forty eight."
Jim shrugged.
"You´re right, I suppose, it´s hard to decide what´s best for them, you know- sometimes it´s all too much."
"You can´t always be right, all you can do is follow your instincts."
Jim chuckled, the melancholy fading from his expression.
"For someone who claims not to want any kids you seem to have given that a lot of thought."
Wash lifted her glass in mock solute before throwing the contents back once more.
"I suppose I listened to Nathaniel a lot."
"What was it like? After Lucas?"
Wash shrugged, trying to find the right words, she didn't like to talk about Lucas but she supposed she owed Jim Shannon a few answers to his questions, after all he would leave his children behind in the morning to fight for them, for the colony.
"It was hard. The night it happened, I was at an outpost, Taylor called me, telling me that something horrible had happened and that he had thrown Lucas out of the colony, the five hours it took me to get back here were some of the longest of my life, I had no idea what I would find.
He was waiting for me by the gate, I´d never seen them like that before, so completely devastated, not even at Somalia.
You can´t imagine how much I wished I hadn´t left, especially when Boylan came in the next morning and started his little blackmailing."
Shannon glanced over at the bar where Tom Boylan was chatting to some soldiers.
"How come you let him get away with it?"
"There wasn´t much we could do, we had enough problems without trying to reason with him, too, it was just another betrayal, he had been with Taylor´s unit longer than I had, neither of us would have thought he´d turn on us."
"He´s still loyal to you, though, he helps you when you need him, doesn´t he."
"I like to think so, I can´t be sure, though, with Boylan you never know who´s side he´s on, apart from his own of course."
Wash glanced up at the entrance and spotted Nathaniel making his way down the steps, looking around and when he noticed them, walking towards them.
"We have company" she warned Shannon, shifting aside to make room for the Commander.
He sat down next to her, smiling briefly at Shannon before turning back to Wash.
"You´ve been here the whole time?"
"Yeah, I thought you could do with some space."
He nodded before reaching for her glass and refilling it.
"I´m sorry, I should start treating you better."
Jim´s comm sounded and he looked at it, then back at the couple.
"Liz just got home, she´s looking for me- I´ll see you tomorrow."
The unspoken meaning of his words hung in the air between them as the younger man made his way towards the exit.
"Let´s go home, Wash, I want to be alone with you."
When she reached out to switch on the light, his hand captured her´s and Wash turned around, her eyes meeting his in the almost darkness of the room.
He shook his head before pulling into him, his mouth covering her´s in a urgent kiss, his arms almost too tight around her waist but Alicia wouldn´t have welcomed him restraining himself right now, she needed to feel his passion for her, the intensity of his feelings, needed to give it back to him and she ran her hands up his arms and over his shoulders before wrapping her arms around his neck, moaning into his mouth when he lifted her up and brought her legs around his waist.
Her back collided with the wall, the kiss deepening even more, adapting a desperate quality, both of them aware that this could be the last time they could be together like that for a long time, both of them scared that it might be the last time at all.
Finally Taylor broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Wash´s, their breath mingling and when he kissed her again, it was surprisingly soft.
"I love you" he told her, one of his arms sliding around her back to support her as he broke away from the wall.
She tightened her legs around his hips, head resting on his shoulder as he carried her into the bedroom, the mood between them shifting, urgency making way for a rarely displayed tenderness but tonight it might be just what they both needed.
He lowered her down onto the bed, lying down next to her and reached out to brush her hair out of her face.
"I love you, too."
She captured his hand in her´s and brought it to his lips, her lips caressing the skin on his wrist, making him moan quietly and she smiled before pulling him closer to her, enjoying the feeling of his weight pressing her into the mattress.
"Take me with you" she whispered, her eyes pleading with him to give in but he shook his head.
"I know you don´t like it but I´m not going to risk you out there, you will just have to accept it."
Tears threatening to spill at any moment, Wash closed her eyes, sobbing when Nathaniel´s lips brushed against her temple soothingly and when she began to cry she didn´t know how to stop again.
Nathaniel just held her to him, face buried in her hair until she calmed down again and her frustration with him won over her desperation, her body arching up against his was his clue to start kissing her again, hands tugging at clothes impatiently, needing to feel skin instead.
Alicia wrapped pressed her body up against Taylor, impatiently urging him on, she her hands running up his arms, nails digging into the rippling muscles when he pushed himself inside of her.
At times like this she still couldn´t quite believe that he would love her as much as she loved him, that he finally, after years of waiting and longing, was her´s.
"What are you thinking about?"
He whispered, setting an easy pace, intended to building her up slowly, prolonging their pleasure.
"How incredible it is that you are here with me."
He smiled, kissing her lips before drawing back slightly.
"What´s incredible is that you are here with me, Wash, you´re an incredibly beautiful, desirable young woman, I´m just an old, cynical man with a lot of baggage."
She laughed, the mood suddenly easy again and teasingly wrapped one of her legs around his waist, drawing him closer to her.
"Cynical, yes but old?"
"Not too old" he joked back, picking up the pace, making her gasp.
"No, most certainly not."
Her head fell back into the pillow as she arched her back, giving herself up to the sensations he was evoking in her body.
Finally Wash was lying in Taylor´s arms, his fingertips absently brushing over her upper arm, his warmth lulling her to sleep.
"Goodnight, Wash."
He breathed against her neck and she reached for his hand, lacing her fingers through his.
"Goodnight, Nathaniel."
The moment he turned away from her, Wash had to remind herself that they were out in public and that every eye was on them to keep herself from throwing herself at his feet and begging him to change his mind one last time, she had be strong now, he was leaving her in charge and she would do whatever she could to not disappoint him.
As the rovers moved out, Nathaniel turned around one last time, his eyes finding Alicia´s before he climbed inside the vehicle and Wash nodded at the guards on tower one to lower the gate before making her way over to the garages to speak to the soldiers on duty there.
"Put every vehicle available just inside the gate, I want to be prepared to move out quickly if the Commander needs reinforcements" she ordered, then made her way up to command.
She anxiously waited for the Commander to check in with her and felt relieved when her comm finally came to life.
"Washington copying."
"Hey, Wash- we´re at the portal now, nothing´s happening yet, I´ll keep you posted."
"All right, Sir."
It was almost fifteen minutes later and Wash was getting nervous when she heard Taylor´s voice again.
"Portal´s active."
The next minutes were pure torture to Wash as she was forced to listened as Taylor hadn´t had time to turn off his radio, she had rarely felt so helpless and when she finally heard Nathaniel´s voice, she had to hold on to his desk to keep herself upright.
"Are you all right?"
Her voice didn´t resemble it´s usual tone, it was far too panicky, needy but right then, Wash didn´t mind that he could hear how worried she was about him.
"I´m fine- the soldier´s are, too, we can´t get back for the civilians, though, Wash, look out, I don´t like this, Lucas probably has something-"
She didn´t hear anything else for at that moment shots began ringing out outside and she reached for her gun and powered it up as quickly as possible.
"Wash?"
"I have to go, something´s wrong, try and get back here."
She switched the comm off and tossed it into her pocket when the door was thrown open and two of Guzman´s soldier´s tore inside.
"Lieutenant, we´re being attacked, they opened a portal right next to the gate."
"What´s the status?"
"They shot the guards off the towers and are trying to get through the gate."
Wash motioned for the men to follow her as she stepped outside and hurried down the steps, shouting at her soldiers to stand firm and return their enemy´s fire.
Their situation become more hopeless as the portal spat out man after man, the sheer number making it seem impossible that they would be able to hold their ground.
Wash noticed Mira and her Sixers joining them, the woman motioning for her people to spread out, not making themselves targets.
Guzman joined Wash where she was standing behind a Rhino, sniping off enemy soldiers.
"It´s looking bad, Wash, we´re outnumbered one to five and we have twelve dead already, Taylor probably won´t make it back on time."
"Damn" Wash swore, aiming at and killing yet another soldier outside the fence.
"This can´t be happening, how can we have been so stupid."
"Don´t blame yourself, Wash, we couldn´t have known that it would be so easy to open another portal."
The fire stopped at that precise moment and Wash straightened up to see what this was about, then wipped around and pushed Guzman to the ground, following him as the first grenade explodes within the colony´s perimeter.
She was up again at an instant, yelling for her soldier´s to get down as the second grenade exploded, before pulling her comm unit out of her pocket and handing it to Guz who was looking dazed.
The smell of burning wood hung in the air, people were screaming and Wash felt faint as memories of similar situations in various war zones began rushing through her mind.
"Call Taylor, tell him I have to surrender."
She got up and threw her rifle over the hood of the Rhino, then rounded the vehicle, holding her empty hands out.
Mira was standing at the gate and now held up her hand, her gaze on Wash.
"Are you giving up, Washington?"
"Yes, I´m surrendering, hold your fire."
She motioned towards one of the rovers and two of her men walked over to her, looking defeated but wordlessly climbed the tower to raise the gate.
Wash could feel the glee radiating off Mira as the Sixer cuffed the Lieutenant´s hands behind her back and turned her around to face the command center.
"Tell your men to put their weapons down and come out from behind the vehicles, after we´ve searched the houses they can go back to the barracks, if they stay quiet, nothing will happen to them, the Phoenix Group and we are taking over from here."
Alicia did as she was told, exchanging a quick glance with Guzman as he came out from behind the Rhino and he nodded, he had managed to tell Taylor what was happening, meaning that the Commander would stay away until he could work out a plan to retake Terra Nova.
"What´s going to happen to the civilians?"
Wash asked, trying to keep her temper under control, provoking Mira would only make things worse.
"Nothing will happen, Washington, they can go on with their everyday lives, no one is leaving the colony."
"You´re holding them hostage?"
Mira shrugged.
"I don´t like killing people if it isn´t necessary, they´re not that important, we have you, that´s enough."
Wash watched as her soldiers handed over their weapons while the foreign army invaded the housing units, searching for weapons.
Carter walked up to them, for once he wasn´t looking smug but rather pale and he ignored Wash and addressed Mira.
"26 dead."
Alicia briefly closed her eyes, this couldn´t be happening, what had they done to deserve this?
"Take some of our man and bury them outside."
Carter nodded and walked away again while Mira stirred Wash off towards the command center.
"I want you to hand over everything I need to operate the colony, do it quickly before Lucas gets here, you don´t want to deal with him instead."
"What´s going to happen to Guzman and me?"
"Guzman can go home like everyone else, you´ll stay outside, I want people being able to see you."
Wash gritted her teeth, of course, they wanted her on display to intimidate people.
In addition what good would it do them to lock her into the brig, if anything it might encourage Taylor to attack, knowing that she was safe within the underground cell, keeping her among the soldiers was the perfect life insurance for their forces.
Mira unbound Wash´s hands after two heavily armed Sixers had joined them at the command center and Wash was sitting in the Commander´s desk chair, showing Mira a list with security codes when Lucas Taylor entered the room and strode over to the desk, his fingers instantly lacing through Wash´s ponytail and pulling her head back.
"Fun" he remarked, his gaze burning into her´s, "my father´s little pet, all tame and cooperative."
Wash´s fingers were itching to close around his throat but she didn´t want to end up having her brain spilled all over Nathaniel´s desk and restrained herself.
Lucas let go of her hair and slapped her around the face, laughing when her head flew to the side.
Wash got up but Mira stepped between them, her hand reaching for Lucas´arm.
"That´s enough, we need her, she´s the only thing that´ll keep your father from going crazy on us."
Lucas was looking murderous as he jerked his arm out of Mira´s grip.
"We could just eviscerate her instead, see how crazy the old man gets then."
"If you touch her, you answer directly to me and that won't be pretty" Mira threatened, then she turned to Wash.
"Get out of here- go change into civilian clothes and better be at Boylan´s when I check on you."
Wash met Guzman at the bottom of the stairs, he already was wearing a pair of jeans and a button down shirt, his face grim.
"Tasha and Skye are ok, I´ve checked on them, Jim´s kids are, too."
"Good- you´d better not be seen with me too often, I don´t want you to get into trouble."
He looked uncomfortable but nodded and walked off towards the barracks while Wash made her way over to her housing unit and slipped inside, quickly changing into a pair black jeans and a fresh tank, letting her hair down and slipping into a pair of high heeled boots, all the while trying desperately not to think about Nathaniel and whether or not she would see him ever again.
When she passed the gate on her way over to Boylan´s bar a couple of rovers were being unloaded in front of the command center and Wash realized that the Phoenix Group had been to the original portal and retrieved their civilians.
She rushed over to Elisabeth Shannon who was looking dazed, staring at the lifeless body of her husband on a stretcher.
"Dr. Shannon."
The older woman turned towards her.
"Your children are fine, they are at home."
Elisabeth relaxed a little, her eyes sweeping over Wash.
"Jim was standing to close to the portal when the bomb exploded, he´s stable for now but- are you all right?"
Wash shrugged.
"I´m fine but I have twenty six dead on my account and we are being held hostage, I have no way to communicate with Taylor."
"Washington."
Mira´s voice rang out and Wash hastily continued on her way, she didn´t want to draw any unnecessary attention to the Shannon´s, Mira knew that Jim was important in Terra Nova´s command chain and if he survived, he would be questioned but the doctor didn´t have to get into the intruder´s focus.
When she approached the bar, Boylan caught her eyes, beckoning her over to him.
"I reserved a table for you, close to the exit, I´ll instruct everyone to keep an eye on you, if anyone gets too personal, someone will help you."
"Don´t risk too much for me, Boylan, it´s not worth it, I need a drink."
Looking worried Boylan poured her a glass of Bourbon and she felt his eyes on her back as she walked over to her table.
She ignored the Phoenix Soldiers´ catcalls and slipped into the booth close to the door, settling in for a long and unpleasant evening full of regrets.
After the third evening spend in the same fashion, Wash got up around midday, not bothering with brushing her hair and slipping into her usual pair of dark jeans and another top.
She was feeling useless and depressed, Jim was still at the hospital and there weren´t any news from Nathaniel, the mood in the colony was hopeless and even though Wash knew that she had to do something, she simply couldn´t bring herself to do it, the combined loss of both command of the colony and the man she loved was slowly destroying her.
The bar was busy as usual and Wash was well into her fourth glass of Bourbon when Jim Shannon slipped into her booth.
His comforting words were balm to her wounded spirit and in the end she found herself smiling at his unbroken enthusiasm and willing to join him in bringing their enemies down.
After three days of keeping quiet both Mira and Lucas were leaving her alone most of the time, giving her the opportunity to recruit people for their cause and soon they had organized a meeting at Malcolm´s lab.
Smuggling Shannon out of the colony proved to be easier than expected and when he came back, he had a communication device which finally made it possible to contact Taylor.
The hours Wash had to spend at Boylan´s that night were torture, Shannon had promised to get the radio set to her in time for her to use it before going to bed and she could hardly remember ever having felt this impatient.
Finally Boylan closed down and Wash made her way towards the exit when Josh Shannon walked past her, his hand brushing her´s and Wash´s fingers closed around the precious communication device.
She slipped into her house and activated the radio set, her heart pounding in her chest as she waited.
"Taylor."
"Nathaniel."
There was a moment of silence, then she heard his voice again, choked with emotion.
"Are you all right?"
"I´m fine, you?"
"All right- Wash, is there any chance for you to get out of there?"
"I couldn´t just leave, I already left them down once, I can´t do it again."
"You didn´t let them down, Alicia, you did what you could, you saved them."
"I got twenty six people killed."
"Stop talking that way, I don´t want to hear it anymore, you did what you had to do, no one can expect anything more. It´s killing me that I´ve left you there, I´m so sorry, Alicia."
He sounded broken, desperate and Wash´s heart ached, she so much wanted to comfort him but she didn´t know what to say.
"You couldn´t have known."
"I should have, he´s my son, Wash, I simply didn´t want to see what he was capable off and now you have to pay for it."
"You can´t think that way."
"I know that, Wash, I need you here, without you it all doesn´t make sense, you were right, leaving you behind was the worst error in judgement I ever mad."
"I love you."
He chuckled softly.
"Way to distract me, Wash- I love you, too, take care and lie low, I don´t want you doing anything heroic and get hurt."
"I´ll try my best."
"I don´t want you to try, Wash, I want you to promise me not to do anything rash."
He was sounding serious now and Alicia sighed.
"That an order, Sir?"
"If that´s what it takes to make you promise, then yes, it´s an order."
"You know I can´t promise you that, Nathaniel."
"Wash, please, I need to know you´ll be ok, stay away from Lucas and do what they ask of you, you´re too valuable to hurt you without a reason."
"I won´t do anything I don´t absolutely have to do, that good enough for you?"
"No, it isn´t, I don´t want you to do anything that might endanger you, I don´t care at what cost, the most important thing is getting you out of there alive."
"You´re not talking like an CO right now, you´re aware of that?"
"Damn well I´m not, I´m talking like a man out of his mind with worry for the woman he loves more than anything else in the world who can´t bring herself to reassure him."
"Fine" she whispered, "I promise."