`Hardison is getting jealous over Eliot and Parker's friendship to the point of becoming paranoid. Eliot is resorted to teaching him a lesson about the nature of friendship and brotherhood. Takes place around season 2.
Parker and Eliot walked in to the briefing smiling and laughing. This was becoming a custom Hardison noted and did not like as he watched them take their usual seats. "Do you want to share your story?" he asked impatiently.
"Oh Hardison, you wouldn't understand," Parker replied. Eliot winked at her, Hardison's blood boiled.
He noticed the friendship developing between Parker and Eliot since the team came back together and was not happy especially since he had long told Eliot of his interest in her. He didn't mind them together at first but lately they seemed much more comfortable with each other than usual; they liked sitting close, sharing food, she was always concerned but also excited when he came in with bruises from his fights, they were a badge of honor she could relate to and respect.
Hardison was not a fighter, the thought of physically hurting anyone made him wince, he much preferred to use his intelligence to get the best of people, not that he didn't try to be more of a badass. He spent more time in the gym to bulk up and even got Eliot to show him some moves but the truth was that whenever he was a witness to one of Eliot's entanglements, the brutality he inflicted on his victims made him want to run. Once when he was too close to the action Hardison was forced to fight and although he landed a good punch on a goon, the impact left his hand bruised and numb for several days, he wondered how Eliot could do it day in and day out.
He could see why she was attracted to him. Eliot exuded confidence whenever he walked in a room and there was a palpable feeling in the group that they were safer when he was around. He was not the tallest person in the group, but the way he carried himself, his swagger, and his look intimidated men taller and bulkier than him every time. Nate was even more careful around him ever since Eliot had threatened to "skip his drunk ass off this marble floor" when the job in Florida was going badly. If not for Sophie's intervening, Hardison had no doubt that Nate would have been a crumpled heap on the floor.
Women it seemed could not resist his ruggedly handsome bad boy persona and as a result he always had his pick, but now it looked like Eliot had set his sights on Parker. The thought of them together filled Hardison with rage. He knew he had no chance of besting him a fight and short of killing him he had no way of getting rid of him so he set out to sabotage Eliot any chance he got. He insulted his contributions at the briefings, which one or more of the team would defend, he set up subtle booby traps to make him trip, all from which Eliot always recovered like a cat, he put extra spicy hot sauce in his food when no one was looking, which Eliot actually liked, he even paid several women to come up and slap him while accusing him of being the lowest cad when Parker was around to witness, but Eliot always found a way to turn it in his favor. Was there nothing he could do to make him look like the creep he wanted Parker to take him for? He tried to come up with other ideas but had to put it aside to work on the presentation for tomorrow's new client briefing.
The next morning, he came in first, as was his custom. He put a flower at Parker's usual seat and made her favorite breakfast, cereal with a side of chocolate donuts. He called her to come in early to surprise her.
"Huh, what's this?" she asked when she walked in. "I thought I would surprise you Parker," Hardison smiled pleased with his gesture.
"Ahhh-choo!" She sneezed as she sat down. Her eyes watered as she pushed the flower away. "I'm allergic to roses, Hardison."
"Sorry my bad, I just wanted to make your breakfast a little more special today." He responded a bit deflated by his effort.
"Why?" She asked not waiting for the response as she started to eat. "fanks for fa cerfeal." He watched her perplexed, her mouth full, milk spilling out one side. If he didn't care for her he would have been quite disgusted, instead he thought she was adorable and smiled.
Nate came downstairs from his room, Sophie came in a few minutes later and went to get coffee, followed by Eliot who headed straight for the sofa.
"Hi Eliot," Parker greeted him happily, "want a donut? Hardison brought them."
"P-Parker, they were for you" he shot Eliot an angry look.
"Well I want to share, there are enough for both of us." Eliot studied Hardison, his steely gaze making Hardison concede and extend the offer to him.
Eliot took a bite of his donut then got up to get coffee. "Thanks Hardison, my favorite kind." He walked off with a laugh.
During the briefing, Nate paired Parker and Eliot to get reconnaissance on their next mark, Mr. Geoff Clinton, CEO of Demo Auto Parts. "This will take a couple of days, so stay together for the time being." He added. Neither seemed to mind the task and as they gave each other those looks again, Hardison fumed.
"Nate I could go with Parker, you know give Eliot here a break, he's still nursing that shoulder from the last job."
"I'm fine Hardison," Eliot glared at him.
"No, I need you to work your skills, get Mr. Clinton's financials and his client list. Sophie you are with me."
"So again, I'm stuck here while you guys go out and have all the fun."
"You never complained before," Sophie observed. "I thought you liked being behind the computer." Hardison grumbled and slunk to his desk, tapping loudly on the keyboard.
Two days later, Eliot and Parker were back at the office, sharing their intel with the group. Parker was relating their story, while Eliot grinned with pride at the thief. She was able to take out the two guards they faced when they almost got caught as they were leaving the corporate office looking for their client's stolen plans for a new gas saving device. Eliot proudly commented, "that's my girl," patting her bottom as she skipped back to her seat. Hardison had seen enough.
After Nate laid out their next move, the meeting was wrapped up and everyone started to go there separate ways. Nate and Sophie were going to a dinner party hosted by Mr. Clinton, Parker went to get the rigging she would need to break into the warehouse, and Hardison went to work on his computer. Eliot was the last to leave; he would not be needed tonight and decided to go home and rest for the next day.
"Hey man," Hardison stopped him. "I need to talk to you." He grabbed Eliot's arm and pulled him back.
"What about?" Eliot responded shaking off his grip, his eyes boring into him as if he could see right through him.
Hardison met his eyes and would not look away. All the anger he felt these past few weeks were coming quickly to the surface.
"What's with you and Parker?" Eliot smirked but did not answer.
"You heard me. What, is, with you, and Parker! You guys come in here all kinds of cozy, flirting, feeding each other, patting her behind. What the hell is going on?!
"What's it to you Hardison?" Eliot answered in a low, calm voice.
"I don't like it, that's what!" He straightened up to remind Eliot that he was not only taller but had been working out as he flexed his muscles. "Now you're gonna give me some answers. Are you sleeping with her, is she another one of your conquests?"
Eliot shook his head and walked away disgusted by what he had just heard.
"NO! Don't you walk away!" Hardison blocked the door. "You gonna tell me now!" He threw a punch at Eliot, which he quickly deflected but did not return.
"I'm not going to hit you Hardison." Eliot sounded hurt by his accusations. "I thought you knew me and Parker better than that, now get out of my way, I need some sleep."
Hardison was not satisfied. "Yeah I know how it is, since when do you go home early to sleep? You two probably are going to meet up later, I'm not stupid Eliot, I see how you look at her!" This time the punch landed on Eliot's mouth sending him reeling backward, blood coming from his lip. Eliot touched his lip, saw the blood and licked it away.
"How you like me now, you ain't the only one who can fight around here!"
Eliot was trying with all his might to control himself, but Hardison would not give in. His instinct was to give him the full force of his retaliation, but he held back. He grabbed Hardison's arm, twisted it behind his back shoving his face into the wall. To Eliot's surprise Hardison was able to break free and began to throw wild punches at him. Eliot blocked them and when he was close enough, he landed a punch to his stomach then another one to his face knocking him out cold, his body falling hard on the floor.
He woke up an hour later, with pain shooting through his head as if it was going to explode. His body felt limp, he tried to get up but the pain sent him back on the sofa.
"Hey, stay down man." Eliot came over with a bag of ice for his swollen eye.
"Where am I?" The room was now spinning and Hardison was feeling nauseous.
Eliot was worried. He knew the damage he could inflict, and although he tried to pull back on his punches, he feared the worst. "Just be still man." He placed the ice pack on his eye and brought a small trash can close. "I think you may have a concussion so stay still." He tended to him as best he could for now, watched as he came in and out of consciousness pacing the floor, uttering curses under his breath.
After another hour, Hardison felt good enough to sit up, but his head was still throbbing. "Here take this." Eliot handed him several pain pills to take followed by a cup of hot tea. He sat in the chair opposite him.
"Dammit Hardison, why did you have to go after me like that?"
"I don't know, Eliot… I told you I was interested in Parker and I guess I was jealous of you. You two have become too close for my comfort." He lowered his eyes in shame.
Eliot nodded in understanding. "I'm not going to lie to you, Parker is a beautiful woman and I can't say did not have my thoughts about her, but she is different from other women I have known, hell from anyone I have known."
"What do you mean?" Hardison knew she was socially awkward, and had an unusual love of dangerous heights and jumping off of stuff namely high rises, but other than that she seemed ok.
"She's broken Hardison, whatever happened in her past has made her shut off the part where she forms emotional attachments. You want to know what we have been doing? She asks me questions. All kinds of crazy questions, some are really stupid and annoying others are really intense."
"Like what?"
"She asked me why my hair is so long." Hardison laughed at that one. "Apparently she has never seen a guy with long hair."
Eliot's voice became sad. "She asked me why Aimee and I broke up." He was quiet for a long time. "But the worst question she asked me was if I liked killing people. I almost decked her for even asking me that, but I saw her eyes and I realized, she is searching for some sense of what is normal, what normal people feel, how they act because deep down inside she knows she is not."
"I try to answer her honestly and I have come to love her, but not the way you think. She reminds me of my own sister, annoying as hell but just as you want to punch her she does something nice like bring me food, brushes my hair out of my eyes after a fight, or gets me ice for my bumps and bruises."
Hardison thought he could see tears in Eliot's eyes but wasn't sure because the hitter turned his face away.
"Listen to me very carefully Hardison. I am many things, but I am not a liar and I don't steal another man's woman or in your case a woman you are interested in. If I say there is nothing between me and Parker then there is nothing between me and Parker. I care for her and want to help her as best as I can but truth is I'm trying to figure life out for myself, and I am not the most patient of people. I know you have feelings for her and that's a good thing cause I think you can reach her better than I can, you can help her find what she's been missing out on."
"Thanks man… and I'm sorry for doubting you and Parker." He and Eliot did their customary hand slap and fist bump. "Ok?" asked Eliot "Ok." responded Hardison. Both men laughed; then Eliot's face became somber, his voice low and gravelly. "But if I ever find out that you hurt her in any way, believe me son, I will give you 10 times worse than what you got tonight." He then laughed, but Hardison wasn't sure that was a joke.
"You feeling better cause you still got some work to do for tomorrow and Nate is not going to be happy if he finds out what happened here tonight." Eliot reminded.
"Yup, I feel much better." Hardison got up and moved slowly but surely to the computer to do his work. Eliot lay on the sofa. "If you don't mind, I'll stay with you just to make sure you are alright. Sometimes my work has lingering effects." Eliot smiled slyly at his friend then closed his eyes.
Eliot was still on the sofa when the rest of the team came in very early the next morning.
"What happened to you two?" Sophie asked. She noticed the cut on Eliot's lip and Hardison's swollen eye. Eliot instantly opened his eyes and responded. "Hardison and me went out for a bite to eat and met up with some nasty guys. Hardison got one of them pretty good, right man?"
"Yeah, we showed those two, E." Hardison lied.
"If I didn't know you better I'd say that looks like an Eliot job, but you two are friends and friends never hit each other right?" Parker asked.
"That's right, Parker, friends never hit each other." Eliot answered. He winked at Hardison. A little white lie was ok. Parker went to the freezer and made ice packs for the two men.
She showed a little more concern for Hardison, since she knew he was not a fighter. "Are you ok, were you scared?"
"Nah, girl please. Me and E, we have each other's backs. Those two won't bother us again."
Parker smiled as she gently pressed the ice pack on his face. "That's good, cause I don't want anything to happen to you." as she tended to his injury.
"Well I trust that you have the information we need to take down Mr. Clinton." Nate added as he walked to the computer to check Hardison's work. "It's all here." Hardison reassured him.
The five were soon back to work plotting their next move. Eliot got up to get some coffee and surveyed this misfit group he found himself in. He felt something he had long since stopped feeling and it hit him like a wave. They were becoming a family, he realized that he loved being part of this crazy group and he vowed to protect them till the end of his days. He would have to share that with Parker on one of their next talks.
The end.