May 5th, 2014 - The Cockroach Song Plays On and On
AUTHOR: Pepper's Ghost
May 5th, 2014 - The Cockroach Song Plays On and On
Warnings: Vaguely implied political problems and mentions of historical events.
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Lights on.
Car in the driveway.
Clearly someone was home.
No point in putting it off anymore, thought England as he rung the cheerful doorbell.
The last thing England was expecting when he opened the door was to be blown away by a wave of triumphal mariachi music. Or to be greeted enthusiastically with America in an oversized sombrero and loose white garments.
"OMG This is perfect!" said America. "Matthew bailed on me and I didn't want to have to throw my party all by myself."
"Party?" said England.
America had already skippered off with England's luggage giving England a full view of the house. There were tacky chili lights of every color everywhere and other forms of Mexicana scattered throughout the living space. The smell of cooking food assaulted England's nose and he couldn't help but think that having the TV playing traditional fiesta music in what appeared to be a recording of a parade and another music player playing a different set of Mexican tunes somewhere else in the house was a bit overkill.
"Did you lose a bet to Mexico or something?" England said.
"What?" said America. His head was poking out of the kitchen so England went in that direction. More of the Mexican overkill was in the kitchen too. America's flag apron was completely out of place amongst the whole thing.
England couldn't help his mouth water at the site of all of the wonderful smelling food cramming every square inch of the counter.
"Oh you mean all this?" said America. "It's Cinco de Mayo."
"And the 5th of May is special because?"
"And here I thought you were innately aware of every holiday that celebrates the French getting their asses handed to them! 1862 – the Battle of Puebla. Any bells?"
"And as the national representative of the United States of America you felt the need to celebrate a Mexican victory."
"Sure! It marks the last time any military force has managed to invade North America so that's pretty cool," said America. "Some people even say that the Mexican victory really saved my bacon with the war between the states and all…long reaching consequences and all that. Besides - It's been celebrated continuously in one part of me or other since 1863! Now it's just mostly a big cultural blow out fest for Mexican-Americans."
"Still doesn't seem like the thing you'd get in to."
"Course it is. I like to celebrate all of my people's off the wall holidays! It doesn't matter if it's Cinco de Mayo or St. Patrick's Day or Oktoberfest or Chinese New Year or Marti Gras or Leif Erickson Day or whatever. Any day to celebrate is a good day in my book."
"So why isn't Mexico here?"
"Because this is a holiday about my people. Mexico hardly even celebrates this day. Why invite someone who is only going to tell me that I'm wrong or stupid for celebrating Cinco de Mayo. Besides I can eat all this good food without having do any sort of posturing."
"It is quite the spread you have."
"You're just in time too because my super awesome nacho is going to be done right~" There was a dramatic pause as America waited a beat too long for the oven to ding before assaulting the oven. "Now!"
The oven creaked open with a mighty groan to unveil a mound of palate pleasing goodness. America's star spangled oven mitts carefully grasped the sides of the doublewide cookie sheet and moved it to the only remaining open space on the kitchen's extended counter top. America then hastily grabbed some surrounding dishes – a variety of salsas, guacamole, sour cream – the usual stuff and situated himself in front of the piping hot mass.
"Grab a seat Arthur!" said America. He pulled out one of the bar stools for added emphasis and patted the top.
Not one to complain about being fed England sat down and dug in.
The pair munched on whatever was in arms length – all kept conveniently warm via special heating dishes or small portable warmers.
"So a little birdie told me that you're hiding out from Europe Day or something," said America through a mouthful of empanada.
"I am not hiding! I'm just choosing to not be there," said England.
"Choosing to blow off one cultural celebration in exchange for celebrating another – that's a pretty low blow dontcha think," America said.
England just continued to defiantly eat his taco.
"That's ok," America continued. "I'm kinda glad you're here." England could tell the other wanted to hold his hand but seeing as both nation's hands were preoccupied with food he settled for a gentle shoulder bump.
"Hey!" said America. "I've got an idea. How 'bout after we finish eating I teach you how to Mexican Hat Dance or something. That'd be swell."
"If you can somehow convince me that there is some way you can connect yourself to that particular dance then, in honor of the holiday, sure."
"Yanno I'm pretty sure they named that dance after my awesome city in Utah maybe. Like in my mescal fueled dreams or something."
"Now I know you're full of it."
"37°9′54″N, 109°51′56″W"
"In English please."
"Mexican Hat is located on the San Juan River, sort of by Goosenecks State Park, Monument Valley and a whole bunch of Navajo-er, Diné stuff."
"Bloody well fine. After dinner it is then."
"Awesome! I can't wait to kiss you at the end!"
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Author's Notes: I was at a loss of what to do for this day and was halfway though a really, really bad Europe Day fic and then realized I was an idiot for not doing a Cinco de Mayo celebration. Because what's more American then that right? But seriously, with all of the "Mexican food" that American's enjoy there's no way Alfred could pass up a food holiday with so much wonderful goodness. Purposefully not inviting Mexico was just par for the course. For those not in the know, the War Between the States was the more popular term for the American Civil War until somewhat recently. Also, Diné is what the Navajo people call themselves. As a minor aside, Canada was the one to rat England out to America. Lastly, the title is in reference to La Cucaracha or "the Cockroach Song" which is one of the quintessential ditties that Americans tend to hum when they thing "Mexican song." The song itself has a long and varied history that is just about as confusing as the whole Cinco de Mayo thing itself.