title: 7:31
prompt: SASUSAKU MONTH ON LJ! 2012
rating: T-M
summary: o22: Sakura's growing tired of all these raunchy jokes the guys keep telling her.
REVISED 6.30.14
.o22.
Bawdy
"NARUTO!" Sakura shouted as she punched him over the head, while the rest of the guys were still laughing over the raunchy joke he just told.
"Sakura, calm your tits," Kiba said, still laughing. "It's just a joke!"
"To you guys, maybe. From a feminist's point of view…" she grabbed Naruto by the collar, and his bruised face told her with a grin, NO REGRETS.
"Come on, Sakura! How many men does it take to open a beer?" Shikamaru added. "Live a little."
Sakura dropped Naruto. "You guys are so immature." She took her things and left the room, leaving the guys silent for half a second, before the turned to each other and burst out in fits of laughter again.
.
.
.
"Hey, Sakura, you know how a stork brings babies? And that storks are birds?" Sai asked on the way to class.
"Yeah…" she began. She didn't like where this was going, but seeing as it was Sai, he had a lot of weird things to say.
"So what kind of a bird doesn't bring babies?" he said.
Sakura thought for a moment. "I don't know. What?"
Sai's face turned into a sheepish grin. "A swallow."
The next thing Sai knew was that he was on the floor, seeing stars flying around him as blood poured out of his nose into a puddle on the floor.
.
.
.
"Don't even think about it, Sasuke," Sakura said as Sasuke sat down next to her in class. "I'm tired of all of this shit."
"Hn." He gave her a look that calmed her down. "I'm not going to tell you any of those jokes because I don't think they're funny."
Sakura looked surprised. "Really? And you deal with this kind of crude, bawdy humor every day? How do you manage to do it?"
Sasuke shrugged. "I'm used to it. I know they don't mean it. They're just jokes."
"Whatever," Sakura sighed. "Anyway, it's getting pretty annoying. I can take any joke if it's done well, but these are just over the top."
"Hn."
"You're a great listener," she said with sarcasm.
"Hn."
.
.
.
Sasuke saw some of the guys try to approach Sakura, with ink on their hands which he saw were more crude jokes.
"Guys, quit it," Sasuke growled. "I'm tired of this. She's tired of this. Hell, you all must be tired searching up lame jokes that only get her mad."
The rest of the boys looked at each other and laughed.
"Are you kidding? We'd do anything to see her get pissed!" Kankuro added, trying to rush past the group to find Sakura.
Sasuke stopped Kankuro by holding his wrist tightly.
"Ow, dude! Let go!"
"It's not funny anymore. She's really angry with everyone and all she wants is for this to stop. Now, are you guys mature enough to do it or not?"
Everyone looked at each other again before Naruto said teasingly, "I think somebody's got a crush on Sakura-chan!"
Sasuke, surprised that they would think that, said, "Well, then, what about the rest of you? Guys sometimes bully the girls that they like so that they don't know you have crushes on them. Naruto," he said, turning the tables on his friend. "Didn't you tell me a long time ago you thought Sakura was the prettiest girl you've ever seen, and that she still is?"
Naruto turned red. "Damnit, teme, I told you that in confidence!"
"And Sai, don't you call her Ugly just because you don't want to reveal the fact you think that she's beautiful?"
Sai's normally gray skin was beginning to turn red.
"And Kiba, isn't she the only person outside of your family that's allowed to pet Akamaru?"
Kiba growled defensively.
"You see?" Sasuke said, pointing out all their weaknesses. "Now, really, guys. Everyone's tired of it. So just stop it and we can all go back to how we were. All friends who apparently like the same girl."
"What about you?" Naruto said. "Do you like Sakura-chan, too?"
Sasuke felt his neck turn hot. "She's just a friend."
"Come on, Uchiha," Sai added. "You pointed out all of our weaknesses. Now, we're finding yours."
"I don't like her like that." His neck was getting warmer and warmer.
"Really? So you see her as another one of the guys?" Kiba said, butting in.
"Yeah." The warmth was up to his chin.
"You don't like her…sparkling eyes or her pink lips?" Neji added teasingly.
"Hn." His cheeks were warm.
"Or her huge ti—"
"Okay, Naruto, I get it!" Sasuke said. "I like her too, alright? Fine. Now, can we all just stop these bawdy jokes and just go back to the way we were so that she doesn't know anything?"
"Uh…" The color in their faces' paled, and Sasuke asked, "What is it?"
He felt a pair of eyes behind him and turned slowly only to see Sakura, shocked.
"How much did you hear?" he asked.
"Enough," she said, speechless.
Sasuke took Sakura by the hand and dragged her away from the group. "I need to talk to you in private," he said. "Come with me."
.
.
.
"So who's it going to be, Sakura?" Sasuke asked as he loomed over Sakura, her back pressed to the lockers. "Being with all guys almost every second of your life…you have to have had a crush on one of us."
"I don't," she said, turning away from him.
"That's a lie," he said. "Your face is red. You're blushing. I won't tell anybody, alright? We can go back to being just friends and pretend like nothing happened. But who is it?"
She opened her mouth to say something.
"S-S…"
"Sai? Do you like Sai?"
She shook her head.
"Sasuke-kun…" she said.
"What?" he asked.
"I like…I like Sasuke-kun." She blushed heavily as she said this, and he froze.
"Sakura."
"Okay," she said. "Now let's just forget this happened, and…mmph!"
She felt his lips on hers, kissing her softly. She'd never kissed a guy before, and she felt like she was on Cloud 9 right now.
"But I don't want to forget," he whispered, pulling apart.
"Me neither."
"This'll just be our little secret," he said. "Alright?"
"Yeah."
"Kiss on it," he said, leaning in.
.
the next day
.
"Hey, Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted during lunch. "What does a woman have to do to keep a man interested?"
"Naruto…" she began, a vein about to pop in her head. "What?"
"Continue to be beautiful, that's what!" he said.
She looked up, surprised. "Wow, Naruto. Good for you."
"I know, right? I'm trying to get into clean jokes."
"That's great."
The whole group talked, sharing what lame but clean jokes they had, some of them ridiculous, some of them hilarious because they were so bad.
Sasuke put his hand under the table and squeezed Sakura's leg, giving her a look that said, Here we go again.
She put a hand on his knee while staring straight at Naruto. "Hey, Naruto. Why are dumb blonde jokes one liners?"
"I don't know. Why?"
"So that men can understand them."
Naruto whined. "Sakura-chan!"
SS MONTH, Y U USE WORDS THAT I HAD NO IDEA EXISTED?
Slight changes!