Chapter 058 - Overcoming Limits
When Corset became fully conscious of where she was, she found herself laying on her back upon one of the beds. Her vision was hazy at first though she could pick out the separate shapes and shades; the whiteness of the room broken only by the pale purple curtains which had been pulled back. Her body ached and she could feel the injuries she'd acquired from her training. It'd been a while since she'd felt so worn down and tired. Quickly she recalled the events leading up to this present moment and remembered what had happened, a twinge of frustration towards herself growing. She opened her mouth and tried to speak but instead ended up croaking something she didn't even understand/
"Hey Dad, she's awake!"
That was Gohan's voice. Before she knew it two shadows emerged into her ever-clearer vision, Goku and Gohan peering down at her. She tried to ask how long she'd been out for but once again her voice made some sort of incoherent gibberish.
"I think she's still out of it," Gohan spoke looking slightly relieved but also seeing some sort of humour to his friend's predicament. "She might need to rest a little more."
She wasn't out of it! Corset tried to move her arms, realising just how much pain and damage her body was in. None of her limbs would move and it had only just come to her attention that her breathing and heart-rate were alarmingly rapid. Her muscles all felt like they'd been strained and overused and she could feel some of them twitching. There'd be no use in her trying to train, she didn't even think she could stand without swaying on her feet if she tried to! Just how much training had she missed and how much more would she miss? It then hit her. An overwhelming sense of inferiority and uselessness hit her and consumed her, her willpower now too weak to stand up to it. Corset felt her lip start to automatically quiver as her eyes moistened, she tried to stop it but it was no use, she was just too run down and exhausted from having to use her emotions to try to transform. She hadn't been able to utilise them correctly and had grown increasingly furious with herself, her emotions now becoming unstable. She found feel the cool stream making its way down her cheekbones and towards her ears, vision blurring wildly.
"Hey, it's alright, calm down," Goku softly spoke. "You had a close call but you're ok. You put up a really good fight Corset and gave it your all. Just rest up for now."
Rest up? He wanted her to rest? She always had to rest up! She could never do things right; it always had to be she'd mess up and then rest! Why was she always inadequately prepared? Why did she always have to fail at these things? Why was she so weak?
At this rate she'd never be able to help her friends.
"... I hate this..." She barely spoke.
"Well at least you managed to make sense that time," Goku half-joked. "You did great out there but there's no sense in forcing your body to take any more strain than it already is. Give yourself a chance to recharge and we'll try again soon, I promise."
"It's hard but you'll do it, I know you will!" Gohan added encouragingly, though Corset refused to make eye contact with him. She just wanted them to leave her so she could cry without having to feel ashamed for doing it in front of other people.
"Come on, let's give her some space," Goku ushered Gohan out from the small space, both father and son leaving her to her thoughts. Corset lay facing the ceiling and let herself weep quietly. Her body and mind felt exhausted and in need of rest but she was too worked up to fall back to sleep. She wondered if the two boys were going off to train without her. That was a thought that seemed to set herself off more. Feeling inadequate and useless she resigned herself to her fatigue and closed her eyes.
The next time Corset realised she was conscious things were quiet. She was still in her bed alone; every time she or Gohan were injured, the other would have to sleep in Goku's bed. She was usually the one injured...
Her body felt sore more than anything though it did feel better than before. Corset even managed to roll herself out of bed though her balance was a little off as her legs were still shaky. She gingerly opened the curtains, peering through them. No one was up and from the sounds of it she could hear gentle breathing coming from the other bed.
Good.
She tiptoed through the room passing the other bed and wandered outside (or rather to the vast white world surrounding the small building they stayed in), boots and gloves in tow. As she reached the bottom step she sat herself down and slipped her shoes and gloves on before walking out a little into more open space. The gravity had a noticeable effect on her and she could feel the strain on her body but she ignored it, determined to try again. She'd do it whether or not she was well enough, even if she'd end up killing herself in the process. Surely it was better for her to die trying than to live never having succeeded and being labelled a failure? She couldn't stand the thought of never being able to make it; her pride refused to let that possibility become a reality.
When she was sure she was far away enough not to wake the two guys up, Corset stopped and stood still, taking a small breath before exhaling. She closed her eyes and calmed her mind. She had to focus.
A threat to her own life hadn't been enough to trigger it. Trying to create a need wasn't working... Her father had said she wouldn't be able to do it and so far he was right.
She'd done it in Trunks' future.
"... I can do this..." She mumbled quietly to herself in an attempt to make herself believe. It seemed to help, even if part of her felt she was just being delusional.
Corset lowered her stance and clenched her fists tightly, the muscles of her limbs shuddering under the pressure. She'd remembered how she'd reached that strange sensation before, the one she felt she could reach out and grab if she only knew how to. She just had to get herself back to that point.
Goku's advice hadn't been totally off the mark; his suggestion of imagining all their friends dying did seem to trigger the sensation; that wasn't so hard to do considering the painful memories she held. Her thoughts trailed over all those she'd seen die before her against the Saiyans and Freeza. Time after time again she'd been bailed out of a life-threatening situation. When the time had come for her to act, she'd either been too afraid or it hadn't been enough. Someone always had to save her.
The feeling was coming though she tried not to focus on it too much; focusing only forced it away. Instead her thoughts continued to roll out. All those times she'd felt so inadequate, so useless. No matter how hard she'd tried she had never been able to do what she wanted to do, she'd never been able to beat an enemy threatening her friends and family's lives. She hated how her own fears had stopped her from acting or how she'd always been a hindrance to others. Her fear of harm or death had always gotten in the way... Where had it gotten her? Ultimately she'd been murdered by Freeza's hand, all that running and being scared to act had cost her almost everything. It would have cost her everything had it not been for the miraculous powers of the Dragonballs. Was it really worth clinging to life that desperately? Was it worth her putting her own selfish desire to be alive before those of her friends? Was that the kind of person she really was?
There it was. It almost floated in front of her face taunting her. She didn't know how to reach it!
'The response comes to a need, not a desire.' Goku's words echoed through her mind. Corset tried to force herself to feel need rather than desire - it was a hard concept to do considering she was trying to reach something she had no clue how to reach, not fully anyway. Unbeknownst to her, her ki started to pick up and fluctuate slightly in reaction to her emotional state and thoughts.
She couldn't grab it. No matter what she tried she couldn't reach that peak! She wouldn't change; those she cared about would still get hurt and she'd be too cowardly or too weak to stop it. The memory of her mother almost being killed by Raditz appeared, playing over and over again.
Corset's fists were trembling, her face scrunched up in frustration. No, this feeling wasn't working; she could feel it slipping away from her. She had to calm herself but somehow use this rage! Desperate to keep control of the distance of the feeling she started to focus on the past. Her energy continued to fluctuate, now emerging outwards as her aura burst free. She couldn't be who she'd been; it had always ended up in tragedy. She didn't want it to be this way anymore! It couldn't be this way; she needed to stop it! There needed to be a change in her, there needed to be something she could have to stop all these awful things from happening. At this rate she would lose her father, mother, brother, grandparents, friends and all those she'd ever met! She needed to change! She needed to become a different person; she needed not to be herself!
Suddenly she grabbed it.
A whole new well of emotion and power swept throughout her entire body. The extreme fury she held to herself and her inabilities fuelled her rage and she screamed out loudly, blinded by her own hatred towards herself. She didn't care who heard, she didn't care what happened to her – all she cared about was her loved ones living, even if it meant her sacrificing her own life to achieve it. What did she matter?
Her body shook under the immense pressure she was under, aching muscles suddenly bulging a little as the ki burst free like a violently flowing river bursting its banks. Her ki excelled itself outwards and changed colour, her hair becoming more spiked and wild and changing from dark brown to a golden blonde. In the same instant her eyes gleamed greener, pupils vanishing momentarily.
The feeling suddenly vanished. Corset felt her body cave in under the strain, too exhausted to withstand the energy coursing through it and she felt herself fall backwards.
Apparently her outburst had woken both Goku and Gohan from their slumber and they'd witnessed her brief transformation before she collapsed from exhaustion. It took Corset a full day to finally wake up and when she did she found Gohan walking past on his way out of the bathroom. Once he realised she was awake he quickly proceeded to asking her as many questions as he could think of about her transforming. A stunned Corset found herself lost for words.
"... Really?" She spluttered as she blinked in shock. "I thought that was a dream!"
"No, it was awesome!" Gohan replied excited, "Dad and me both saw you! You transformed into a Super Saiyan! So what finally triggered it?"
So it really had happened? She'd actually done it? "I don't really remember..." Corset lied. "I just remember thinking about what you said and how I wanted to fight to protect my mama."
"Well we're all Super Saiyans now!" Gohan grinned in anticipation.
"... Which means the real training starts here." Goku appeared around from the pantry, a large pile of food held in his arms. "Both of you two now need to learn how to control your Super Saiyan forms but first of all, breakfast! I know I keep asking but does anyone know how to cook?"
The months passed. Gohan and Corset continued to learn to control their Super Saiyan forms and battled alongside Goku, sometimes as a team and sometimes with one of them paired up with Goku. Unbeknownst to either of them, their energies were dramatically increasing.
One day Gohan and Corset were sparring together; Goku sitting quietly nearby concentrating on something. He seemed to be deep in meditation whilst the two children battled one another, neither dared question what he was up to...
Gohan lunged out, Corset dodging his attacks and trying to strike him with some of her own, frustratingly making contact with Gohan's blocking arms instead. Their movement was fast-paced, faster so because of their Super Saiyan powers. It had become evident that Corset seemed to have a slight speed advantage yet her hits weren't as packed as Gohan's – although Goku and Gohan had commented they still hurt like hell if she managed to catch them off-guard!
The two children separated and landed metres from each other on the ground. Both were a little worn down from sparring for so long and were short on breath.
"... Wanna take a small break?" Corset asked.
"I think so," Gohan peered over towards his father, "... He's been sitting there for a while now."
"Yeah, I wonder what he's thinking about," Corset agreed.
To both their surprise Goku rose to his feet.
He transformed into a Super Saiyan.
With a yell his muscles and ki suddenly swelled, startling both Gohan and Corset and leaving them speechless! The Saiyan's appearance had made a noticeable change, his muscle mass now making him look almost like he'd been inflated or something, though his ki was nothing to laugh about.
Gohan rushed over towards his father, Corset following with interest. He'd done it. Goku had transcended the Super Saiyan state, just like he said he would.
"Dad, you did it!" Gohan cried ecstatically. "You're an ascendant Super Saiyan, I can feel it!"
"... I could probably go one more level if I wanted," Goku muttered.
With a loud yell and what looked like a lot of straining, Goku's muscles swelled even more, his ki skyrocketing to what felt like unreachable heights!
"... Wow..." Corset could feel the sweat rolling down her face. "That's incredible! Your ki is huge!"
"You could take Cell down easily now!" Gohan cheered.
"... No," Goku shook his head. "I can't beat him in this form..."
"Why not?" Gohan asked.
"All this new muscle mass may give me new strength but it kills my speed. All the strength in the world won't be any good if I can't hit the guy!" Goku explained, suddenly reverting down to his normal form and breathing out a small sigh. "The form consumes too much energy too. I'd say all in all, the regular Super Saiyan is the best; at least now I know."
"... So what are we gonna do now? If you don't think those other forms are gonna help, what do we do?" Corset asked anxiously.
"We're gonna try and make Super Saiyan our natural form and stay in it." Goku explained. "We've got to work on getting rid of that restless feeling. We'll have to start over from basic training; it seems like the long way but it's the best way to go."
"Ok," Gohan nodded. "We're ready for whatever you'll throw at us, Dad."
"Glad to hear it," Goku smiled. "Ok, let's just try to stay as Super Saiyans for the rest of the day. We won't fight yet, just try to control our emotions and get on with the day."
Corset raised an eyebrow in concern. It seemed a bizarre thing to be doing especially since it involved not even training! Was Goku really sure this was in the Earth's best interests? Then again he was the Earth's best fighter, who was she to question his methods of training?
All they could do now was hope Goku was right in his thinking.