My silence was deafening, the tension was almost unbearable for both of us and I noticed that Yumi wouldn t be able to hold in for long, given her energetic nature; I knew she would want to know soon what was going on with me, but how would I be able to tell her that? Never was I able to be directly sincere about my feelings, I decided then to use our memories together to maybe clear things up:
-Yumi, thanks for coming to me, I was feeling nostalgic and decided to come here; but staying here all alone is sad, so I asked you to come here, as only you and me know this place so well! Come over here please? I said still facing the opposite direction.
-Sure sweetie! she replied.
I heard Yumi nearing herself and stopping at my side, we watched the horizon for some moments; I gently placed my arm on her back as I always had tone on our life together. She was with us for twenty years already I remembered exactly how we met each other:
Right after I completed eight years, disaster befell upon my family; the earthquake that happened on Verona that year, and it was brutal; demolishing part of our noble household, killing both my parents and my brothers and although I didn t have a deep connection with them; that even leave me totally confused; Nina knew that that had destroyed me and allowed me certain spoiling that I didn t have before, like going around walking to unwind.
One day, wandering around the more secluded areas I found a nekomimi girl that looked much more like a painting, or a statue so pretty it was; with her small blonde hair, golden fur and sky-blue eyes. She was standing there looking at me with enigmatic eyes, I greeted her and paid no much heed to her at that time, I was way to deep on my own grief
Weirdly enough, day after day that I walked through there and that same girl was there, with the same clothing that got dirtier at each passing day; I began wondering if she was one of those kids that lost their parents on the earthquake, on the fifth day I approached the girl and asked her name, which I discovered being Yumi; I later asked where her parents where and she pointed me a house in ruins, I tried to notice someone closer, but even being a kid, I knew she meant under the debris
For some weird reason, be it compassion, pity or another thing, but I did ask her if she wanted to leave that place with me to which all I got as a reply was a nod. I held her paw and took her home.
That caused amazement on Nina s behalf; but as soon as I told the little girl s story she also sympathized with her situation. I asked her if we could keep the little girl with us; so we asked the family lawyer what was needed to be done in order to keep her custody as long as we put up a noticed that we were sheltering her, in case a family member wanted to find her
-Yumi, sorry calling you in such a short notice some stuff happened in my life that made me ponder on how I lead it up to now -I comprehend sweetie said Yumi the accident must really have shaken your vision of life upside down right?
Yumi thought I was referring to the accident only, as if that changed something inside me; that made things way harder for me because I knew that what I was about to say would only bring tears and suffering for me Yumi my heart bled and it wasn t because of the accident
-You know Yumi, I was thinking on how we met I continued it was all so different so predestined -Y-Yes - replied a blushing Yumi.
-We have been through so many things before in this place I said turning to face her and every time I think on those my heart floods with tenderness and that accident made me notice something is missing in my life -I u-understand sweetie - said Yumi, but I didn t notice at the time the clouds that hovered over her head -I noticed that love is needed in my life I am really in need of that a partner so I decided to give it a shot -T-that is good - she said again, and once again I failed to notice some subtle changes on her -So, I wondered that I think I am actually able to make someone happy.. and maybe who knows -T-That is good sweetie she said while blushing, but getting sadder by the minute events like accidents makes us ponder on certain stuff, but something else happened right sweetie?
-Some time ago I lied about the time, didn t want Yumi to know yet who it was yet a certain someone declared to me and that made me feel something was missing and I began wondering if I would ever be able to make someone happy -I AM PRETTY SURE YOU WILL MAKE THAT PERSON REALLY HAPPY! shouted Yumi, but I noticed she was saying it in a sad tone I only hope that I can keep working for you
That was like a kick in the guts; it hurt a hell lot! Why Yumi always acted so distant?!?! Couldn t she comprehend what I wanted? I had a very hard time dealing with my feelings as I never needed to before Yumi understand this for God s sake! With that in mind, I said:
-Yumi I don t think that I want you to keep working for me - I said that meaning that I didn t want her to work for me but rather BE with me.
After a couple of seconds, I heard sobs coming from her; I looked at her face and already managed to see her shedding tears, running down her cheeks. Yumi tried to run, but I held her left paw, I wouldn t let her flee again! I would settle this for once and all!
-Yumi do not flee! Why do you always run away?!?! Can t you see what happened here has a meaning! And that all that I am doing right now is consequence of that!
-Sweetie!!! said Yumi beginning to desperate and with more tears rolling down you never were like that! Never used brute strength!!! What happened?!?! I know what I did was horrible! Forgive me! Do not spank me! Do not hurt me! Do not send me away!
-But wants you to go away Yumi?!?! I am just going to do what I should a long time ago! I need to be honest with myself! I replied.
-Sweetie?!?! What has gotten over you?!?! Did you hit your head on the accident!!! You are acting strange, I am getting scared!
Not wanting to give Yumi more time to think, I pulled her to my body and instinctively sealed my lips on hers, at first the shock left her paralyzed, where not even a muscle contracted the warmth of her lips brought me memories of things lived together on this place with her
I was eighteen years old and Yumi was fifteen, we were standing on our secret place, waiting time to pass; it was a blue Sunday afternoon, I was lazily lying on the grass when Yumi arrived and sat beside me, carrying some shopping bags. She turned a slave just a few months ago, being assigned to shopping duties. When she saw me relaxing, asked:
-Sweetie, didn t you ever thought of dating? Having a girlfriend and marrying? You seem like you don t like those kinds of stuff are noble girls that ugly?
-No Yumi, I never thought about it maybe because I never pictured myself with someone so I decided to let things roll one day, who knows, they will notice how much I love certain people and I will be reciprocated!
-Right, I don t believe someone like you have courage to have a girlfriend! Yumi teased me there is no way of that happening even in a million years!
-I can kiss a woman if I wanted - I said pretending to be hurt.
-O really? Want to see want what I can do? I challenged her.
-Sure! Show me!
I ordered Yumi to close her eyes and as soon as she did it, I kissed her with the same passion that I saw on a romance movie while hugging and all; whenever I was challenged like that it always followed the same script: I would kiss her, she would stiff and then relax, after some moments she would get very agitated, break free, slap me very weakly and asked me to stop playing around with her feelings.
This time it wasn t any different, after following the very same script; I kissed her feeling her soft lips with mine, her warm breath, her heart really racing on her chest everything was going on as always until the slap turn it hurt way LOT more than usual moments later I felt something warm rolling down my cheek; I put my hand at it and looked it was red
Yumi s face changed to something I have never seen a mix of terror and despair I let go of her paw and took my hand to my face, there was a cut in there didn t seem much deep but it hurt a lot and for the first time in our whole life together Yumi had hurt me and I was not only referring to the cut made by the same paw nails that used to scratch me in a playfull manner; this time my heart was also bleeding a lot:
-Ok Yumi I understand that is how you actually feel I will talk to that person and I shall make her happy do as you wish you can keep serving me or whatever -R R - tried to reply Yumi failing miserably.
-Please go Yumi forget anything that might have happened between us be it friendship or anything else I promise you that this time I finally understood your message never again I will disturb you never I will direct my word to you in subjects that are not work related -R R - Yumi kept trying to say.
-DISAPEAR AT ONCE FROM MY SIGHT YUMI!!! NOW!!! - I said on an outburst of fury.
Yumi eyes got distant and blank, while tears continued to form on her eyes, she slowly turned around and slowly went away, disappearing on the way and I knee and broke down crying all pain that was stored in my heart found its way out as a glass overfilled I knew that for once and all I had lost Yumi my first love had gone away
I was drowning on my own problems when the angel of light appeared, the one that was always able to keep my heart calm the same one that was slowly finding its way inside this hurt and broken heat that little girl
-Richard, sorry for not obeying you but I saw Yumi run past crying by me I got so worried that you didn t show up I came to check what was going on - said my beloved Akira.