Nicole

I sat at an empty console on the bridge, just staring into nothingness. Well, maybe something, but I didn't really notice. Everyone else got at least one parent back, and what did I get? More doubts that I could get my mom and dad back. It just wasn't fair.

I sighed, leaning back and looking around the bridge. I saw Ithiell and Amanda standing not far off, talking to the War-Prince and Rachel. The others were no-where to be found. Probably doing something with each other.

I couldn't understand it, but at that moment I felt an uncontrollable anger and hate towards everyone around me. I hated Alex for trying to make sure I didn't 'hurt' anyone, and Megan and Michelle for giving up so easily. And the others, for not… for something else.

Mostly, I hated all the parents. They were supposed to be there for one another, and they hadn't been. Everyone but two people had been captured, and when we saved Ithiell and Jade it only got up to four. The rest had been Yeerked, and taken to god knows where on this stupid planet. I hated this planet most of all, I decided as I watched Ithiell lead Amanda away, with the other two still talking. I turned away, looking outside. Kay had landed, and he and a Chanaiben were working with one another in the cruiser ship. Aerionna was with them, I knew.

For now, I had no control whatsoever over the situation. And it both frustrated me, as well as kind of made me glad. Who was I to lead my friends into fighting with these Yeerks? Who was I to order them to death?

"Arrrgghh!" I screamed at the console in front of me, getting a few puzzled looks from the Andalites and Chanaibens on the bridge. But I ignored them, resting my head in my hands. I needed some sleep, I knew that much. I didn't think I got two hours sleep in the past few weeks. There was just no way.

"Nicole?" Rachel's unusually soft voice made me jerk my head up in surprise. She was kneeling in front of me, and the gentle smile on her face made me move all the way back on the chair.

"Yeah?" I asked cautiously.

"Don't worry, we're going to get your mom and dad back. You can be sure of that. I, personally, promise you" She took my hand in hers, and her words were so soft it was almost scary.

"Oooookkkaayyy. Whatever you say then" I tried to, without forcibly yanking, pull my hand back. She wouldn't let go. Instead, she came closer to me, looking straight into my eyes.

"You are so much like your father Nicole. His eyes… and Cody says you led this mission… the way he moves sometimes… even… even how you seem to look so much older than sixteen. I hate seeing that in your eyes, but I knew someday it had to happen"

"So… I'm just like my father then? Well, thanks so much, you've really made my day!" I yanked my arm back, getting up and moving to leave the bridge. Seconds later, fingers closed around my arm, stopping me in my tracks. I looked back and saw Rachel. Her eyes were a little darker, but there was still that gentle smile played across her face.

"What do you want from me!" I cried, barely holding back tears.

"I wasn't finished Nicole. Before you got dragged into this, you were more like your mother. Sweet, and able to read people better than anyone. You love of animals almost made me think you were a carbon copy of her!" She laughed a little at the thought.

"So what the hell are you getting at!" I yelled at her, yanking my arm free. Her eyes, and the rest of her face, turned cold then.

"Just for you to remember not to let that go. You'll need everything your mother… and in fact both of them… gave you to win this, all right?"

"Whatever" I muttered, giving her a cold look before marching away from the bridge. I managed to find my way to the crew quarters on the Blade ship, going in one and sitting on one of the beds. I needed to sleep… needed to think, but I couldn't… every time I closed my eyes I saw my dad, my real dad, fighting the Yeerk inside his head. Then I saw the glint of the Dracon beam in his hand, aiming it at my friends.

How could I fight him when… how?

Tears pricked my eyelids, but I brushed them away. I couldn't cry now, there wasn't time. In an hour or so we'd know what was happening, and we'd go and fight another battle. At least, I hoped. I hoped they were going to go and get my mom and dad back. Without them…

"Nicole?"

"Ahhh!" I screamed, jumping up when I saw the figure illuminated in front of the doorway.

"Sorry. Did I scare you?"

"What do you think!" I snapped as he came into the room, and I realised it was Alex. We hadn't talked to each other, as humans, for a long time.

The door shut, and Alex stood there, looking deflated and guilty.

"Nicole, I'm sorry for everything I've done. I've just been trying to stop you from destroying yourself in the process. But…. it looks like I'm too late"

"What do you mean!" I was beyond frustrated now. Why did everyone want to give me tips on how I should live my life?

"Look at yourself Nicole. Before all this, all you thought about was saving lives, not ripping up aliens to get to your goal. You never think about the consequences anymore-"

"What! Of course I do!"

"Nikki, Michelle told me what you did on the bridge. You practically asked my sisters to kill themselves for you. All so you could keep fighting-"

"That's a lie!"

"Goddammit Nicole! Look at yourself! You're a selfish pig compared to what you used to be! A selfish, war maddened pig!"

"Well you're not so crash hot either you short freakin asswipe!"

Alex just stared hard at me.

"What?"

"See? The Nicole I knew was always worried about offending people. Now… I don't even know you anymore Nikki. Who are you?"

"I-" I stopped myself then, realising Alex was absolutely right. I was a different person. Didn't mean it was a bad thing.

"This is war Alex. Not everyone stays the same in war"

"Yes, but you… you've taken that way out of context. This person in front of me… it's not Nicole Berenson. It just looks like her. And that's as far as the resemblance goes"

I felt a wetness running down my cheeks, and it took a few seconds to realise I was crying. But I…

"The Yeerks have my parents Alex. What the hell am I supposed to do?" I let out in a sob. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was spent, and Alex wasn't helping me any.

"Don't forget the most important part of yourself. The old you. The one with a clear head about where she was going, and what she wanted out of life"

I barked a laugh through my tears "Oh yeah, and how am I supposed to find her again?"

"With this in mind" he came forward, so fast I didn't even have time to cry out, grabbed the back of my head gently, and kissed me hard. He pulled back, smiling a little and nodding, before he left the room. And left me alone with my thoughts.

Damn that boy was smart.

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I woke up an hour later, covered in a cold sweat. I desperately wished for a shower, but cooled myself down by getting up and moving around. After Alex left I'd curled on the bed, thinking about it all. As well as Alex kissing me. It might have been short and… sort of one-sided, but… the feel of his lips on mine, it was like heaven.

I left the room, going and searching for the parents or my friends. I ran across the Andalite that had been on the bridge before, Ovatt I think it was, who directed me to the 'conference room' on the ship. I buzzed the thing on the door, and when I was allowed I went in, seeing that all the parents, as well as my friends, were either sitting or standing around this big giant table. Alex gave me a nod when I came in, and I saw Ithiell and the War Prince looking me up and down.

"Ah, I see you're here at last" Ithiell said calmly, turning back to whatever he was doing on the big map thing behind him.

"I told you she'd come. She's Jake's daughter, isn't she? Always has to be on top of things" Rachel smiled at me as I came in, and I saw Cody and Tobias rolling their eyes at her.

"I'm Cassie's daughter as well" I said, smiling and standing tall. Rachel smiled and nodded at me, seeing I was proud of who I was. Seth gave me a funny lopsided grin, and Sean had a hand over his face, fighting back a giggle. I couldn't blame him. I was a girl in a leotard, standing at attention like a good little girl. I couldn't help but giggle myself as I saw that image of myself in my brain.

"Righty-o. Can we get back to what we were doing? Please?" Marco asked. He was leaning on the wall, a strange half-smile on his face.

(Yes. As you see, the main forces are located in this area) the War-Prince pointed to a part of the map (and this is where I believe our friends are situated. The Yeerk, Visser Four, which was inside my head until a few hours ago, revealed by accident to me that this is where their mother ship is located. I believe we may be able to take the Blade ship, and along with a few more of our forces, take down the Pool ship once and for all)

"Good idea. As soon as we fix up the cruiser, Nicole and the others can take it to…"

"No" the idea hit me like a brick. How could I have missed it!

"No. No what?" Jade looked at me septically.

"You can't. If they think you've captured the Blade ship, you're as good as done. They need to still think you're fighting them"

"Oh? And what do you suggest then?" Ithiell asked, leaning back on the map, folding his arms across his chest.

"I suggest we take the Blade ship. You guys take the cruiser and stage another attack"

"Say what! Are you crazy!" Marco cried, then shook his head "Wait, wait, I know the answer to that. Stupid me"

"And why should we do that?" Amanda asked calmly, looking straight at me with the strangest stare.

"It has to be us that go. If you go in this ship, they'll know something's up. If we go, at least we can cover and say something like you escaped or they killed you and we've got new host bodies. If you go, giving no reason why you've returned, they know. The Blade ship might be good, but nothing can take on that many ships at once and survive" I nodded my head towards where the War Prince had been pointing.

"You know, I think she has a point there" Jade said, smiling at me.

"Are you crazy! We cannot, I repeat, cannot send our kids into war like this! Come on!" Marco was pacing now, looking like he was trying to pull his hair out.

"Look, do you want Cassie and Jake back or not!" Rachel snapped at him.

"I… but we're… I hate when you all do this! All right, so we let them go. Then what?"

"You stage an attack, and we'll go in afterwards or… or while you're still there. You manage to get us close enough, and we can take the 'Pool ship' out in a big way. Then we can round the rest of the Yeerk forces up. Nothing to it" Toni said, leaning back in her chair and smiling.

(As much as I hate to say it, she's right. You may need to dock with the Pool ship to retrieve your parents Nicole. Do you believe you may be able to handle that alone?)

"Not alone. We leave her a few of our soldiers to help pick off whoever gets in her way" Ithiell suggested, but nodded at me anyway.

"All right then. But you're going to need everything we know so you can play the role of our Yeerks" Marco seemed to accept what we were saying reluctantly. Very reluctantly.

Almost and hour later we left the conference room or whatever, with me thinking clearly for the first time in months. I was going to play the role of Rachel's Yeerk, Sub-Visser Thirteen. Alex, Cody, and Toni would be playing the others. Visser Four, Visser Five, and Visser Two. Yeah, apparently capturing a shape-shifter as a host bumps you up higher on the food chain than an Animorph does. Especially one that's so strong at heart.

I went to the engine room, where a few Andalites were fixing the left engine. It would take a little longer to get off the ground, but I didn't mind. I saw Ithiell's fighter lift off through one of the windows in the quarters, and the cruiser soon follow them. Now, it was just us alone.

Well, not alone. But… without the parents guiding us. And I couldn't believe they were going along with my plan!

I met up with Alex in the hallways. Here, it was silent and empty.

"Thanks Alex. What you did… it means a lot to me"

He turned a bright shade of red, rubbing the back of his head and laughing a little.

"Oh, for uh…that? Uh, well, I uh…"

"No, not just for the kiss. But for making sure I didn't do anything stupid. I would probably have gotten everyone killed if it wasn't for you"

"You're welcome" he said softly.

"And if I start going like that again-"

"I'll try to stop you"

"- no, I'll probably be using that to my advantage. Thanks again though" I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He stiffened, but when I pulled back he was giving me a crooked grin.

"Anytime"

"Now, let's get to the bridge. I want to see if we can locate which way that Pool ship is"

"Sure" he took my hand and we walked there, with me knowing if I survived this night, I'd want Alex to be more than just my friend when it was over.

Okay, I know. I've babbled on and bored the heck out of you. But I was in a lovey-dovey mood and I couldn't help but write the stuff between these two. Love is in the aiiiiirr……