Sorry to keep you waiting! It's just that school and stuff has been filling up my free time recently.

Also, I think you'll be glad to know that this story will be going back to basics. Comedy mixed with a dash of seriousness, breaking the fourth wall, etc. I will also stop advertising here. Is that why you guys stopped reviewing? Oh, I'm sorry.

On the other hand, this story has finally reached 100 reviews! I would like to thank the followin- oh yeah, you're here for the story, not for my testimony. *sniff* Haha, just joking. Plus, I now have a number one fan!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own PJO nor Mario

Enjoy!

Chapter Thirteen: A Chibi Percy?

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"What the Hades is going on?" I exclaimed, passing through a golden vortex. The text above scared me, like a lethal virus entering a sterile environment.

"...Maybe FanFiction broke or something," replied Sami, inspecting the random text. "It looks like there's a secret message in the text." Too lazy to rack my brain, I tried to pass the time. Of course, I started playing around.

"Hey Sami, look at this!" I "backflipped", which, in the vortex, looked like I rolled backwards, since there wasn't gravity in the space pocket. I just did that, tumbling through the air. Sami was nonchalant, still floating in formation. "Come on, join me!" Once a stoic Athenian, always a stoic Athenian.

"I don't think I'll do that. Plus, your girlfriend will go all nazi on me for doing anything involving you." She was right though. Aphrodite was either over-protective or very jealous. Maybe even both. Luckily, Artemis' feelings for me were crushed along with the jewel I slashed in Chapter Eight, so the harem didn't have an all out Brawl. Though a catfight would've been an Smash!

Then all of a sudden, the vortex disappeared, leaving me tumbling to the ground. Of course, since Sami was flying in formation, she just had to right herself up, so she didn't crash to the ground like I did. "Ugh, I don't feel so good."

"Of course, males lack the endurance we females have," said Artemis, a scowl on her face. She extended her arm anyway. Taking the arm as a complement, I hoisted myself onto my feet using the goddess as an anchor. I turned to Aphrodite, who slapped my shoulder.

"Hey, what was that for?" I exclaimed. She blushed, yet her frown still didn't disappear.

"You're late. You are a Son of Poseidon, so act like one."

"What does that have to with anything? You're craz- agh!" Aphrodite jumped onto my back.

"You owe me a piggyback ride as compensation," stated Aphrodite, her tantalizing scent invading my nostrils. She put her nose in the crook of my neck, making herself more comfortable on her perch. Sami tiptoed to reach my ear. "It appears that she's suffering through her period."

"Oh, that explains everything!" I exclaimed. Aphrodite's impudence, imprudence and jealousy were all due to the fact that she's having her happy time.

Then the booming voice of Chrysaor echoed, "Well done. You are now one step closer to your objective."

"That was the last trial, right?" I asked. Aphrodite was starting to feel heavy, probably because her butt was getting bigger due to her adaptive beauty. Chrysaor, you son of a gun!

"What was the title of Chapter Twelve again?" asked the announcer.

I tried recalling it, though I was too distracted on Aphrodite's love to remember. "Um... 'The Last Trial' or something?"

"...And he dated an Athenian..." I was about to retort when he interrupted my train of thoughts. "This is the final trial."

Then a steel gate appeared out of nowhere. Sami reached out of the handle, only for a trapdoor to open from under us.

"Haha, they always 'fall' for that! Ahem, Rosmary, my leeks? Thank you.

We fell onto a floating platform. It was a weird platform, to say the least, with a ton of blocks floating in the air. Pipes were on the ground, a mushroom was walking towards us, and a flagpole stood in the distance? This is officially the weirdest story ever. Then it hit me.

"... A platformer?" I had wings, Chrysaor. I could just go "Woohoo!" and fly over the obstacles completely.

"Perseus, don't even try to use your wings. I disabled them for the trial," bellowed a deep voice. Chrysaor. Sadly, his statement held truth, for I was unable to extend my feathery wings. I decided to focus on the enemy in front of me.

"Ladies, follow me!" I thrusted, impaling the mushroom in between the eyes. It disappeared, leaving a white number one-hundred in it's place. Artemis, of course, disobeyed. She decided to risk the pipe, falling into the murky depths of the tunnel. Her Champion followed. I looked over to Aphrodite.

"See you on the other side!" She jumped into the pipe too, leaving me all alone. Sighing, I stabbed upward, activating a ? block. Out of it came a flower. I jumped on top of the block, grabbing the flower.

"So...I have to eat this?" I asked no one in particular. Reluctantly, I swallowed it. What did it taste like? Like shi- poop, that's what. I was close to spitting it out when a warm sensation within stopped me. I swung my sword, an arc of fire following it. "Hehe, this is gonna be fun!"

I ran, jumping over blocks and whatnot. Every enemy I faced stood no chance thanks to that flower. Then came those turtles with hammers. Right in front of the flag stood one of the amphibians, and when I looked behind me, another one stood. An ambush. Ugly number one lobbed his hammer at me, so I blocked. That was my mistake. Ugly number two threw his hammer just as I lifted my blade to strike the first hammer, so it hit me. All of a sudden, I felt the warmth of the flower leave.

When I tried reacting to the turtle behind me, Ugly number one touched me. No, not "hit" me, touched me. I felt like a disgrace getting hurt by a turtle that just freaking touches me. I felt myself shrinking, my clothes and sword shrinking along with me. Now the turtles were at least twice my size. I took this chance to perform a spin attack, taking out both turtles at once. Using my stubby legs, I walked towards the flag.

"What took you so long?" yelled Artemis. "Of course, this is the best that could be expected out of a male like you." The three girls were already past the flag. The pipe they took must've been a shortcut or something. When Aphrodite saw me, she squealed.

"A chibi Percy!" exclaimed Aphrodite. "Oh my Goddessness, this is the cutest thing in the world!" She then proceeded to pick me up and hug me like a stuffed toy. I looked over to Sami, and seeing her smirk only intensified my frown.

"My lady, please put me down," I said, blushing like crazy. Sami brought out her iPhone and took some pictures, while Artemis was peeking over her shoulder every now and then. It seems even she has a feminine side. Instead of answering me, the Love Goddess just passed through the castle arc, with my chibi self in tow.

Once we stepped out, we were in a chamber we have never been in before. The only thing in it was a sword on a pedestal. Luckily, I was de-chibified, so I wasn't as red as a firetruck.

"Draw the sword, Perseus," said the booming voice of Chrysaor. "and vanquish the Love God."

I stepped up, and grabbed the hilt. Mustering all of my strength, I pulled the blade out. The sword was magnificent, to say the least. The hilt was of a gold on blue design, and the grip felt as if it was made for me. The blade was colored a silver even the Moon Goddess behind me would be jealous of, and it's weight was perfect. The sword radiated pure power. The most significant thing though was the word engraved on the base of the blade.

Excalibur

"The sword's holy aura is so strong that it will shatter any Eros jewel within a kilometer," said Chrysaor. "Use it well, Servant of the Love Goddess." A door appeared in front of us. We went through, and our group was now in front of the chariot. We hopped in and set off, heading towards Olympus with Excalibur in tow.

So how was it? Hopefully it'll satisfy your PJ:CotLG craving till the next update.

Goodbye, and DON'T forget to review!