You Weren't There

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Rose stared up at the creepy carnival mask of the clockwork droid. Its blade, so close, poised to cut into her throat. Lying here on this table, she felt nauseated. How many people had lain here before her and been slaughtered? Her first attempt to talk to them hadn't worked. She felt as if she were going to throw up.

For a moment, the world flashed before her. The metal of the ship melted and became walls of dark stone. The dim light became harsh fluorescents. There was no longer a droid before her, but a Sister of Plenitude, needle at the ready.

"We'll never get 'Bliss' at this rate. Hurry up and extract the chemicals," one snapped from somewhere she couldn't see.

"It's the wrong time, Sister Laan. She's not even peaceful. It's the wrong situation," the one with the needle replied.

A flash, that's all it was. In the flash of a second the vision was gone and the spaceship was back. And the blade was once again spinning horribly close to her jugular.

Frantically she tried again to talk their way out of it. To warn them that the Doctor would stop them… Thankfully at that moment she heard him… No, scratch that - the 'thankfully' part - he sounded like an utter idiot! She watched as he came sliding in with a glass of wine in his hand and his tie around his forehead. Yep, definitely turning into an 'unfortunately'. He was drunk.

?...DW…?

Mickey slowly walked back into the console room. Rose had finally gone to have a shower, so he knew this was the time. He had been baffled by her actions this afternoon and had asked her about it. She was very reluctant, but she had been honest with him. Plus he had seen the way she had acted when he was gone. And now he was angry.

He walked in to see the Doctor sitting on the jump seat. He was staring into space with an almost dark expression. He was probably still thinking of that Reinette. Well, it was time for him to stop that and focus on the person who actually cared for him.

The Doctor hadn't been there. He hadn't seen her.

"Ah, Mick-Mickity-Mickey!" the Doctor cried in a falsely cheerful voice when he saw him.

"Alright, Doctor," he said in a matter of fact voice, coming to stand right in front of the arrogant idiot. "Rose is in the shower, and after what she's been through, it's going to be a long one. So I'm going to have plenty of time to talk to you. And you are going to shut up and listen!"

The Doctor was so shocked by this outburst that he could only sit and stare in surprise. He had never seen Mickey act like this.

"Now we both know how stubborn Rose is. Once she's made up her mind, there's no changing it. And she's staunch, she tries not to show when she's scared or upset too much. And she'll do anything to protect the people she loves. Even hide things from them."

"Is this going somewhere?" the Doctor sighed. He already knew what Rose was like… he couldn't help but notice every little thing about her. And today, when he had, he had stupidly taken another step towards Reinette.

Reinette, of course, had taken to his distraction plan like wildfire, using it to her advantage to make the King jealous. Only somewhere along the way she had fallen for him. He had used her and now he felt horrible.

And if anything, today had proven how quickly humans passed. They died in the blink of an eye. Through those windows they had seen Reinette's life in the space of a day… With his lifespan, that's what a human's life was like. It showed him how he could all too fast loose the one person that he truly cared for.

"Yes, it is!" Mickey exclaimed. "Because you didn't see her when you were gone. She just stared at that bloody broken mirror for two hours. She was so quiet, it took me ten minutes to realise she was crying. When I tried to move her she screamed at me. She was terrified! She thought you weren't coming back!

She won't ever tell you this because she doesn't want to hurt you. But I couldn't give a damn, because you need to know what you've done to her.

You left her, Doctor! You left her with no way back, and no way for her to get home. You just left her, when just a week ago you told her you would never do that. 'Not you', isn't that what you said? Yeah, me and Sarah Jane heard you. And to make things worse, you left her to go fool around with a bloody French mistress!

Great way to treat someone you supposedly love!" he scoffed bitterly. The baffled Doctor opened his mouth to argue. "And don't you dare deny it or I swear to god, I will punch you right now!" his growl became harsher as the threat went on. The Doctor would have snapped his mouth shut, but it only fell further open in shock.

"We heard you. Me and Sarah Jane. And we both know you well enough. Sarah Jane said she's never seen you like that with anyone. And I've been watching you for the last year. You love her. It's bloody obvious. And then you just throw her away!

She was going mad on that ship. Frantic. She kept saying that you'd left her behind again. She was completely freaked out! I've never seen her like that before."

"H-hang on," the Doctor managed to speak up. He had been taking in everything that had been said - and it was just making him feel even worse - but there was one thing he'd picked up on that was bugging him. "A week ago… Mickey, it was only a few days ago."

"For you, maybe," Mickey sneered. "I told you. She'd even lie to protect the ones she loves. It wasn't five and a half hours. It was five and a half fucking days!" And with that, he turned and stormed out of the console room. Leaving behind a horrified and bewildered Doctor.

?...DW…?

The Doctor lay on his back, staring up at the nebula in the sky. It was only generated, but it seemed so real. Even the light breeze that ruffled his hair and the red grass at his back was produced by the TARDIS. But it was nice. He came here to think… or to not think… to hurt. Rassilon knew he deserved it.

He had been so horrified at his actions with Reinette that he didn't even think about Rose. He had barely noticed the quiver in her voice as she spoke, or the raw tear tracks on her face as she tried to make sure he was okay. He hadn't even noticed until now, looking back on it, that her clothes were crumpled and stiff from days of wear. Her hair was slightly stringy and in need of a wash. And her make up was smudged, but still okay, as if she'd had it on for a few days, but was quickly reapplying it over top. As if she'd been trying to keep up appearances, but had rushed it just in case he finally came back.

She had been trying to make it look as if only hours had passed.

'Well, your plan worked,' he thought bitterly. 'Congratulations on treating your best friend like dirt.'

He couldn't believe he had done that to her, that he could be so cruel. He had been so involved in his selfish needs to forget her for just one second that he had nearly shattered her heart and ruined her life - and that wasn't even being melodramatic. He had been so terrified of these oddly strong feelings for her that he had done what he always did. He ran.

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It was the parting of the grass beside him that alerted him to her presence as she lay down. He smiled softly and sadly. Even when she was upset she came to comfort him… even in his secret place.

"How did you get here?" he hummed.

"The TARDIS showed me," Rose replied gently.

"She likes you," he told her just as quietly. "No one's ever been able to find the door, let alone open it."

"Hmm, I'm just special," she laughed softly.

"Yes, you are," he murmured under his breath. He didn't know if she heard, but it was so quiet and peaceful in here that there was every chance she did.

Neither of them said anything for a while after that. A comfortable silence fell upon them and they lay there, content as Rose slipped her hand into his and interwove their fingers. He felt better just being near her. She had always made him feel better, less alone, loved. This was the effect she had on him.

"Doctor," Rose finally said, still speaking quietly. "The grass is red."

"Mmm," he agreed. "It's from Gallifrey," he told her. "And this," he pointed to the nebula above them, "is the Medusa Cascade."

"I like it. It's nice," she told him.

"Mmm. I come here to get away some times… just to think."

"Oh… I'll just…" she made to stand, but he tugged on her hand and pulled her down again.

"No, stay, please." Rose smiled softly and complied. Soon they lapsed back into silence. Minutes ticked away. Yet again, it was Rose who broke it.

"Doctor…" he noted how her voice shook. "You have a TARDIS… why don't we just… go back and pick up Reinette?"

"No!" he cried, suddenly flipping up so he could look directly at her. "I mean, why would I do that?"

"But you-" she cut herself off and let out a trembling breath. "You cared for her. And before, you looked so upset-" he opened his mouth to tell her she had it wrong, but she cut him off. "And don't say you aren't because I know you… you don't have to shut me out, Doctor."

He looked down at her, her big hazel eyes staring up at him beseechingly. Here she was, her heart breaking, doing all she could to make sure he was alright.

"I wanted to save her," he said taking a deep breath. "But she had a whole life set out for her. A great life. She had a husband, a daughter, a king. One of the most accomplished women of her time… Mmm, perhaps a little too ambitious at times. She wouldn't have had any time to come with us anyway. She had her own world; she wouldn't have handled it here, no matter how brave a face she put on."

He hadn't realised it, but in his musings, he had started playing with a piece of Rose's hair, twisting it around his fingers and gently stroking it. "Besides, why would I want anyone else travelling? It's already getting crowded enough with Mickey being here. It's nice with just the two of us. Just you and me. I like that best… why would I want anything else?"

"Because you loved her," Rose whispered, willing her voice to be normal.

"Rose, I didn't love her… I couldn't…"

"Why not?" This time, the Doctor didn't answer.

"Rose, I'm sorry," he finally said. "I know you told me to take Arthur through, because I had to. But I still left you behind… And I promised you I'd never do that. I… I feel like I've broken that promise. I'm so sorry."

"You haven't," she told him. "You came back." She sounded so sincere, he knew she as telling the truth. He stared at her, stunned. She had forgiven him? That's all it took? He more or less abandoned her for five and a half days, and she forgave him because he came back! "You always come back."

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Sighing deeply, he pulled her to him and she curled into his chest. The both of them fell asleep there that night, lying in each other's arms. It was the best sleep either of them had in days. Neither of them said a thing after she forgave him. They just lay there listening to their three heartbeats, their breathing, and the soothing ambient sounds the TARDIS was playing through the room to make it sound like they were outside on a summer night.

Before she fell asleep, one more thing slipped through Rose's lips. "Save me…"

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Yeah, so way I see it, Rose would never confront the Doctor about Reinette. I like those fics, but I don't agree with them. Because Rose would do anything to make sure she want hurting him, even cover up her own pain. But Mickey, however would be fiercely protective of Rose and would have no such reservations ripping into anyone who hurt her.

And yes, I do reckon Mickey would do that. In my opinion, at this stage, he's reached the point where he knows that Rose and the Doctor are in love with each other and he hasn't really got a shot. He may still be a little jealous, but he's accepted it. And so instead of telling Rose the Doctor's no good for her, he would be telling the Doctor to treat her right. - I mean, he stays in the parallel world so that he can finally get over her, and when he comes back, he's joking about how Rose's heart beats faster when she see's the Doctor.

But of course, Rose couldn't just leave him be. She'd have to see if he was alright. So we have the nice little scene at the end. Oh, and I changed it to days, just for a little shock value to make the Doctor guiltier and to show what lengths Rose would go to.