"Leave all your love and your longing behind;
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive."
- Florence + The Machine
My mouth is so dry. I can't even think straight because my mouth is so dry. I can't swallow. I definitely can't speak. Saliva won't even form in my throat anymore and my lips are brittle and chapped. In my life, I have never known such awful dehydration. There's nothing left inside of me. All of my sweat and bile is on the dirty prison floor now.
I am a failure. I failed at protecting Aang and Chen. I couldn't even protect myself. And now the Fire Nation won't end my misery by killing me. I'm just clinging to the desperate hope that Aang and Chen are both still alive. Maybe because Chen isn't a bender like I am, they just let him go. Maybe… I don't know. My mouth is dry. Where is Aang? Where did they take him? What are they gonna do to him? He's only fifteen, do they realize that? He's only a kid… I'm only a kid! Chen is… where is he? He could be alive. He could. He's broken into and out of Fire Nation prisons before! He could do it again. Maybe he's already on his way here… maybe…maybe Sokka will find us. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
My shoulders hunch forward and tears sting the back of my eyes, but I'm too dehydrated to cry. My body is sweaty and shaky. I feel nauseous and disoriented, but mostly I feel like a beating drum. Or is there really a drum in this room? It could be my head pounding. I don't know. I just don't know. My mouth is so dry. My mouth is dry and I am a failure and I just don't know. Soon enough, I drift back into a painful, nightmare plagued sleep. Maybe I won't ever wake up.
But obviously, I am not that lucky.
A wooden stake shoved into my stomach is what wakes me. I didn't think my head could hurt any more than it did before I passed out, but clearly I was wrong.
"You." A guard with a deep, booming voice grunts at me. "Wake up."
My vision blurs in and out of focus and I blink rapidly before finally settling on the three Fire Nation soldiers who are standing in front of me. I watch as they unhook the chains around my wrists. I fall forward, landing hard on the cement ground. I let out a hoarse cry from the pain.
One of the other guards comes over to undo the chains around my ankles and then yanks me up by my hair, pulling me to my feet. My legs wobble beneath me, threatening to give out. The two men each take one of my arms and the other leads as I'm dragged out of my holding cell. The corridors are dark and musky; we're probably deep underground somewhere. If only I wasn't so out of it, if only my senses weren't so weakened, then I could try to make an escape plan.
The guards drag me along for what feels like miles through the dark, narrow hallway. We finally reach a cobblestone stairwell, and after that, a large stone door. The guard's hands are gripping my arms so tightly, where I'd been burned previously, that I'm starting to see black spots in my vision.
Relief comes when the large door swings open and I am greeted by a new pair of guards. They look even unfriendlier than the first. But relief is only instant before I am passed off to these new men. They latch onto me roughly and suddenly I am wishing for the pain that the previous guard's hands had brought me.
Another mile long hallway, another stairwell, another door and then finally we are outside. I haven't seen light in so long and it's threatening to blind me. I shut my eyes instantly, barely managing to catch a glimpse of the limited shrubbery and scorched ground. I am definitely in the Fire Nation. A new set of chains are clamped over my wrists and ankles, making my teeth chatter in pain. The largest of my guards hoists me over his shoulder and tosses me into the back of a wagon. I land on my left shoulder. The men laugh at the shriek that escapes my lips. Every inch of my body is throbbing and stinging. I roll over slowly onto my back, until my bound wrists prevent further movement. I attempt to take deep, calming breaths as the wagon starts to move. Each bump and sharp jerk of the vehicle adds to my agony.
I try to force myself to focus on the time passing, rather than the possibilities of where I'm being taken. But I don't do that great of a job. A half hour passes, or perhaps an hour? But finally we come to a stop.
A still moment passes and then the back of the wagon is opened, light pours in, and a guard yanks me forward by my ankle. A cloth bag is placed over my head as a blindfold is tied tightly around my neck. Breathe slowly, Katara. I'm yanked from the wagon by strong hands. Even if I was capable of walking, the chains around my ankles would make it impossible to keep up with the guard's pace. I hang awkwardly in their grip, my legs dragging along behind me. When we reach stairs, the tops of my feet scrape against the stone. I hadn't realized that my shoes were gone.
I force myself to focus as the scene around me changes. I can hear a few murmuring voices. There's a pause, and I'm passed through a doorway. The light from the outside disappears. I inhale deeply, taking in the scent of ash and something like an old house. But the floor beneath me is wood. Smooth, polished wood. I don't think I'm in another prison. And I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not going to like whatever I meet at the end of this journey.
More hallways and one final door. I am brought into a small room and shoved into a wooden chair. I groan quietly at the action. The bag over my head is ripped off and I blink in the scene before me. The room is exquisite, with red tapestries lining all four walls and a red cabinet in the far corner. Before me is a large, red, wooden table. And on it is an array of biscuits, fruits, meats, and juice. At the opposite end of the table a man is sitting and eating. Is this some new kind of torture? My stomach lurches at the sight of all of the food so near to me.
The man doesn't even glance up as he waves to one of the guards, who then comes over and undoes the clasp on my chains, tying my wrists in front of my body rather than behind. My hands drop into my lap.
After a long moment, the man finally looks up. He's smiling, but it doesn't reach his eyes. I can tell that he is not a friend. "Hello, Katara. Well, you must be starved. Please, eat."
I swallow thickly with what small saliva is in my mouth. My eyes immediately fall on the cup of juice in front of me. But why would this man be offering me food? Do they like their prisoners to have one final meal before execution? Before long, primal instinct takes over and I lunge for the beverage, bringing it to my lips and downing it quickly without another thought. My mind sighs with relief as the cold liquid soothes my aching throat. As soon as it disappears, I hurry to pour myself more of the stuff. After three glasses, I realize that the man is still watching me. I pluck a biscuit from the pile on the table and lean back in my chair, nibbling quietly. If I eat too fast, I'll get sick. I need to pace myself. I meet the man's gaze.
He brings his hands together in front of him. "You must be wondering why I've brought you here."
I nod slightly and take another bite of my biscuit.
The man raises his eyebrows and then continues, "My name is Admiral Chan. And you have been summoned for a duel by the Fire Lord himself."
My eyebrows knit together tightly. I glance quickly around the room, taking in the four lit lanterns hanging on each wall.
"Don't fret, child. It's not the Fire Lord that you will be dueling." He smiles and I shift uncomfortably in my seat. "In fact, it is his son, the Prince who was responsible for your capture."
I chew the inside of my lip. "Why would I have to duel him?"
"As the Avatar's personal Master waterbending instructor, Fire Lord Ozai feels that a duel against you will be able to prove whether or not the Prince is strong enough to rejoin our great nation."
So it's some kind of show. Well, little do these foolish fire benders know. If they want a show, I'll give them a show. I'll go a few fake rounds with this asshole Prince and then I'll make my grand escape. They'll never see it coming. Or maybe they will. Either way, I'm getting out of this place. And then I'm going to find Aang.
But if I want this to work, I'm gonna have to play by their rules. I glance up at the Admiral, widening my eyes with feigned fear. Chan eyes me suspiciously for a long moment before finishing off his food. He leaves the room without another word, leaving me to finish my meal in peace.
Guards chain my wrists behind my back again and drag me down a few hallways to a small room with a cot and no other accommodations except a toilet with no water in it. Unlike my room, the halls had been ornately decorated with paintings and tapestries. Something tells me that I'm in the Fire Nation Palace. Or atleast, I'm very close to it. The bright red walls and excessive art has something to do with it.
I'm just thankful that my room has a window. It's high up in the ceiling, but as long as I can see the moon, that's all that matters. I slowly drag my cot across the room so that it's in front of my window. My body aches something terrible. The mattress on the cot is dirty and it smells terrible, but it beats being chained up in a prison. I flop down on the flimsy bed and although my wrists and ankles are bound uncomfortably in metal chains and every inch of my body is beaten and sore, I fall right to sleep.
When I wake again, my eyes feel very thick and heavy. I must have slept for a very long time. I'd fallen asleep on my stomach, with my wrists tied behind my back. When I roll over, I give a small start seeing that a tiny girl is standing over me. She's wearing simple red robes with a black trim. Her black hair is pulled back into a sleek pony tail and her hands are folded gracefully in front of her. She has pale skin and tired brown eyes. I can tell that she has been a prisoner here far longer than I have.
"Hi." I greet her.
She nods, but doesn't respond. I suppose doing so would result in punishment for her, so I close my mouth immediately.
She lifts a yellow sponge and gestures to me. I glance down at my torn clothing. My leggings have holes in them where I'd been burned. My blue tunic top is all but hanging off of my body. The young girl presses the sponge against my forearm. I let out a sigh as I feel the water touch my skin. It's unbelievably soothing.
"Um…" I look down at her nervously. "Could I do this myself…?"
She nods again and her hands go to unlock my chains. I clutch my wrists to my chest tightly, trying to rub away the tenderness. She hands me the sponge and I start to wash myself, scrubbing the dirt and blood off of my singed body. There's hardly enough water in this sponge to form a solid ice dagger and even if there was, I could never use it on this girl. I long to talk to her, to ask her how she got here, but I wouldn't want to be the reason that she gets punished. Somehow, they'd find out.
I undress slowly. On the parts of my body that were badly burned, some of the fabric sticks to my bloody flesh and my eyes tear as I pull it out. The girl takes a seat beside me on the cot and starts to apply a thick, white salve to all of my cuts and burns. I suppose the Fire Nation wouldn't want me to die of an infected wound before my showdown with their Prince. The salve stings and cools at the same time and the ultimate effect is relief. The largest of my wounds, located on my lower back and just below my knee, the girl applies bandages to. The rest of the cuts and burns are left to air heal.
With my skin clean and my contusions healing, I feel so much better. I smile gratefully at the girl. "Thankyou."
Instead of responding, she holds up a new set of bindings and a new outfit for me. The wardrobe consists of red trousers and a red shirt that both have thick black trimmings. My clothes are very similar to the girl's, only less formal and more battle oriented.
The girl undoes the chains on my ankles and allows me a moment to dress. I've never cared much for the color red, but these clothes are comfortable enough. And they seem durable enough for me to escape in. The girl leaves shortly after I've dressed, but not before securing my chains back in place, and a new girl takes her place, holding out a tray of food for me to eat.
The new girl stands at the door with her arms behind her back and watches carefully while I eat the meal. Biscuits for carbs and chicken for protein. And a small cup of pink juice that tastes like strawberries. I'd really rather have water, but I suppose I'll take what I can get. When the food is gone, the girl takes my tray and leaves. The door locks loudly behind her.
I sigh and lie back on my cot, staring up at the stone ceiling. I wonder where Chen is. I worry for him, but he is so strong and so skilled… I think he will be okay no matter where he goes. I admire his strength. I wonder where we would be right now if the Fire Nation hadn't shown up and ruined everything. They took him. They took him and they took Aang. Aang…what on earth is happening to him right now? Is the Fire Lord torturing him? Did he escape? Is he even alive? The last thought manages to still me with fear. Aang cannot be dead. He just can't be. There would be nothing left. No hope, not even a single sliver of it. Although I suppose that wouldn't matter too much if I were dead too. I spent weeks in the forest trying to find him. And the instant that I did, he was taken from me again. All I ever wanted to do was protect him…
I can feel the tears welling up behind my eyes. But I will not allow myself to cry. I can sense that this duel will be happening soon and I refuse to lose my nerve. I will use Aang and Chen as my fuel for escaping this prison. I will find them again. My hands ball into tight fists in my lap.
I drift back into a bad sleep for an hour before the tiny girl from earlier reappears. She sits on the cot behind me, uses another sponge to wet my hair, and slowly brushes the awful snarls and tangles out of it. It takes her a long time and when she's finally done, she braids the finished product down my back.
She turns me to face her and begins pulling out small items from her basket. I've never worn makeup before, but I can tell that's what it is. The Fire Nation is clearly all about appearances. The girl takes my face in her hands and begins poking and probing me, trying her best to make me look nice. When she finally stops and pulls back, she stares at me sadly for such a lengthy amount of time that I start to squirm under her gaze.
Noticing my discomfort, she immediately looks away. "I'm sorry… it's just… the Prince was banished for three years… and they say that he was only to be allowed to return home to the Fire Nation if the Avatar was captured… and… I just… I never thought he'd… I never thought he'd actually do it…"
My face falls and my heart sinks with it. So, Aang really has been captured. Our only chance at winning the war has been lost to the Fire Lord's clutches. The girl immediately starts shaking her head when she realizes that she's upset me. "No. I'm sorry. I should not have said anything. I'm sorry. Please, forgive me." She whispers.
I'm too stunned and sad to say anything back to her. She's right; the Avatar should never have been captured. And if I had been faster and smarter and stronger, I would have been able to prevent all of this. And somehow, this girl knows that. She's sees right through me and into every weakness and flaw that I possess. Or atleast, it certainly feels that way.
There's a loud bang at the door and four guards appear in the entryway. The girl stands and backs away from me, into the far corner. I feel panic set into my chest. Even if I can beat this prince guy, what's going to happen after that? What if I can't escape? What's going to happen to Aang? I lost my edge. I thought I could do this, but after what that girl said…
No! Stay calm, Katara. Aang needs you. You can do this. Be calm.
The Fire Nation men yank me out into the corridor and tow me along its winding expanse. I search around for a chance to escape, but there are no windows anywhere. And besides, until my chains are removed, I won't be any match against the Fire Nation army.
I can tell that we're drawing nearer when I hear applause. Yeah, this is going to be one hell of a show.
We finally stop before wide, stone double doors. The noise behind them is increasing in volume and as it does, my heart begins to pound harder. Who is this prince? What kind of training has he had? Probably the best, despite that I've learned about his banishment. And why was he banished? Why am I fighting him, really? This seems out of sorts, even for the Fire Lord.
A few long, treacherous moments pass, but finally, the doors open up. At first, the room is dark as I'm pushed inside. But then I see the crowds of people on either side of the brightly lit arena. Or in this case, the stage.
A booming voice sounds from the center of the crowd. "Our competitors today are the Fire Nation's own Prince Zuko," Loud cheering erupts and then a guard roughly turns me around and undoes all of my chains. "And,"
The guard kicks me hard in the back and I stumble forward into the arena, scrambling to stay on my feet. "Master waterbender, Katara!"
More cheers, but mostly booing. When I look up, all of the color drains from my face. My heart flips over inside my chest when I see Chen standing in front of me. His black hair, his pale skin, and the burn scar that covers his left eye are all that I can focus on. This is Chen. Or, it would be Chen if he wasn't dressed in a red Fire Nation outfit and his golden eyes weren't filled with so much empty hatred. Chen is gone. Chen never was. This is Prince Zuko.
And suddenly, everything makes sense.