Sasuke woke up to find Pein at his desk going over paper work again.
"Don't you ever do anything fun" Sasuke asked as he sat up with a yawn.
"Yes, I emotionally traumatize the people around me" Pein said with a smirk.
"You have a warped sense of fun" Sasuke grumbled as he climbed out of bed.
Sasuke froze as he felt a draft hit him, he had gone to bed fully clothed and now he didn't even have his boxers on. Sasuke tried to keep from jumping to conclusions and searched for his clothes.
"They're probably tangled in the blankets, you woke up about three hours ago mumbled something about being hot and took your clothes off before going back to sleep, thankfully you decided to stay under the covers" Pein said smirking over at Sasuke who was covering himself with the blankets and blushing.
"Could you hand me my bag there?" Sasuke asked pulling the covers around himself a little tighter.
Pein threw the bag over to Sasuke and laughed as Sasuke tried to catch the bag and keep himself covered at the same time.
"You don't have to worry about me seeing anything, I'm pretty sure we have the same parts" Pein said with a smirk.
"Yeah well considering how many guys here seem to like me in the wrong way, I'm a little careful about letting anyone see me naked" Sasuke said as he pulled a pair of boxers out and ducked under the covers.
Pein watched in amusement as Sasuke thrashed around under the covers, but was mildly impressed when Sasuke came out and had his boxers on properly.
"When did you learn that trick?" Pein asked curiously.
"Orochimarus, when you share a room with Kabuto you learn to get dressed under the covers or you end up on Orochimarus billboard in the main hall" Sasuke said casually as he grabbed a shirt and pants and ducked back under the covers.
"His billboard?" Pein asked curiously.
"Kabuto would take pictures of the guys naked and if Orochimaru liked the picture he put it up for display, I only had three up since I learned to get dressed under the covers and only took a bath when Kabuto was on a mission or in middle of a big experiment" Sasuke said with a grimace.
"I'm starting to see why Itachi kept getting so upset about you being out there" Pein said looking at Sasuke curiously as he got out of bed fully dressed.
"He doesn't have much room to talk, I was able to keep my virginity out there, but I get here and Itachi gladly fixed that for me" Sasuke grumbled.
"I didn't know you were a virgin" Pein said with a frown.
"I was until Kisame brought me here and tied me to Itachis bed" Sasuke grumbled looking at his stomach in the mirror with a frown.
"I just figured that you had lost it long before" Pein said
"You figured that Orochimaru had gotten me" Sasuke said with a sigh as Pein gave him another surprised look.
"How did you know that I was thinking that?" Pein asked looking over at him curiously.
"I've heard it at least seven times since I got here" Sasuke said with a shrug, it didn't really bother him anymore.
"Well we all knew Orochimaru pretty well, that's why he was kicked out of the organization, that and trying to steal Itachis body" Pein said with a frown.
"He always said he quit and that Itachi tried to rape him because he was a horny bastard" Sasuke said with a chuckle as he saw Peins expression.
"And you believed him?" Pein asked a little surprised, he didn't think that Sasuke was that gullible.
"No, but I didn't argue, he liked arguing and I didn't do anything he liked when we weren't training, it made it easier to get away from him before he could pin me" Sasuke said as he lifted his shirt to get a better look at his stomach.
"What are you doing?" Pein asked giving Sasuke a concerned look.
"I think my stomach got bigger and these shirts are too tight, it looks more like I spray painted it on than put it on" Sasuke grumbled as he tried to stretch the shirt out a bit.
Pein opened a drawer and tossed Sasuke a shirt, earning a confused look from Sasuke.
"That should fit better, I'll send Sasori out to get you some clothes that will fit you better, he actually likes to shop" Pein said as he looked back at his papers.
"You're being unusually nice" Sasuke said looking at Pein warily.
"You're going to be here a while so you're going to need clothes at some point, I'll have him get some in bigger sizes so your shirts don't keep getting too tight as you get further along" Pein said casually as Sasuke changed shirts.
"Thanks, but it still doesn't explain why your being so nice" Sasuke said looking at Pein skeptically.
"Like it or not you're part of the family now and I look after my family" Pein said looking over at Sasuke, who didn't seem to know how to respond to that and just gave him a blank stare.
Just then Konan burst into the room, not even bothering to knock and rushed up to Sasuke.
"Come on, we're going to try to teach you to bake again, only we'll try something easier this time, you should come too Pein" Konan said happily as she went over and kissed Pein on the cheek.
"Do I have to?" Pein asked looking up at her questioningly.
"Yes, you might be able to help me teach him, I need all the help I can get with him" Konan said giving Sasuke an apologetic look.
"So you want me to help you teach him to bake?" Pein asked a little annoyed.
"Yes, please Pein, for me" Konan said putting on a pouty face, Pein sighed in defeat.
"Fine I'll come help you teach the boy to bake" Pein said as Konan squealed and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Sasuke stared at them in shock for a while and earned a smirk from Pein when he noticed Sasukes expression.
"You're straight?" Sasuke asked in disbelief.
"Yes" Pein said with an evil smirk.
"You asshole" Sasuke yelled throwing a pillow at Peins head.
"What did you do?" Konan asked looking down at Pein in confusion.
"I just made him think I was going to rape him" Pein said honestly as he smirked over at Sasuke.
"Pein, that wasn't nice, why would you do that?" Konan yelled smacking him upside the head.
"I like to screw with people, it's not like I was actually going to hurt him, but it did get him to shut up for the rest of the night" Pein said dodging another hit from Konan.
"Bastard" Sasuke grumbled, tho he felt better knowing that Pein wouldn't rape him.
"I like being a bastard, it helps me lead this group of idiots" Pein said with a smirk.
"Ha, so you admit that they're idiots" Sasuke said with a smirk.
"Yes, and you're one of the idiots now so don't get too happy" Pein said with a smirk.
"Then can you take the chakra limiter off?" Sasuke asked hopefully.
"No" Pein replied bluntly.
"Ok then can you at least tell Zetsu not to rape me since you practically gave him permission to try last night" Sasuke asked glaring up at Pein.
"I'll tell him it's not allowed but I can't exactly stop him, you'll just have to be careful and attentive enough to not get stuck alone with him" Pein said as they walked down the hall.
They got to the kitchen and found that Deidara and Hidan were in there having snacks and decided to stay and watch. Konan started gathering ingredients and Sasuke noticed that they didn't have a recipe this time.
"What are we making?" Sasuke asked swatting Deidaras hand away again.
"I was thinking we could make a cake from scratch" Konan said cheerfully.
"How about cookies instead, I just got this kitchen repaired and I think that with his skill set we should start at the easiest thing" Pein said getting a surprised look from Deidara and Hidan.
"You're teaching him to bake un?" Deidara asked in shock.
"Yes, do you have a problem with that?" Pein asked in a dangerous voice.
"No un, just wondering, this should be interesting yeah" Deidara said, knowing Peins short temper would probably be tested in the process.
They ended up with a fire on the first batch and somehow only one cookie exploded on the fifth batch and Sasuke kept glaring back at Deidara suspiciously.
"Why are you looking at me like that un?" Deidara asked in mock offense.
"It's extremely unlikely that only one of them blew up and especially not enough to blow the door off of the top oven" Sasuke said in an accusing tone
"So you automatically think that I put a bomb in it?" Deidara asked with a smirk.
"Did you?" Sasuke asked giving Deidara a suspicious look.
"Maybe" Deidara said getting closer to Sasuke.
"Back off or you're going in the oven next" Sasuke growled, making Pein turn around and pull Deidara away with another glare.
"If you're going to keep getting in the way I'll make a cage for you" Pein snapped throwing Deidara back towards his chair.
"It's not like he's getting anywhere with it yeah" Deidara grumbled.
Pein went to inspect Sasukes latest batch cautiously and found only one thing wrong with it this time.
"You forgot the chips, other than that you seem to have gotten it right this time" Pein said mildly surprised as he looked over at Konan suspiciously.
"I didn't help him with that one, I've been making pastries" Konan said not even having to look at Pein to know he was accusing her.
"The chocolate raspberry ones?" Sasuke asked happily.
"Yep, I thought you could use a treat for working so hard" Konan said with a smile.
"She's my favorite teacher" Sasuke said looking pointedly at Pein who just glared and threw a bag of chocolate chips at him.
Sasuke caught the chips with a smirk and poured them in as Sasori walked in and froze at the mess the kitchen was in. Sasori looked around and saw Pein, Sasuke and Konan all covered in flour and scorch marks and Sasuke pouring chocolate chips in a bowl. Sasori went over and looked down at the batter dipping his finger in to taste it.
"That's pretty good, did Konan make this?" Sasori asked looking up at an irritated Sasuke.
"No I did" Sasuke said as he mixed the chips in.
"Wow, I didn't know you could bake" Sasori said thoughtfully.
"He can't" Pein said as he walked by to get something for Konan.
"He just said my batter was good" Sasuke said, giving Pein a dirty look.
"It only took you 10 tries to get that" Pein said with a smirk.
"Shut up, I'm lucky when I don't burn ramen so I think I did pretty good this time" Sasuke said proudly.
"You burn ramen" Sasori asked, looking at Sasuke in disbelief.
"I didn't have anyone to teach me this crap" Sasuke said defensively.
"Nobody bothered to teach you to cook?" Sasori asked in surprise.
"How did you survive un?" Deidara asked in shock.
"Iruka sensei took me out for ramen sometimes and I ate a lot of fruit" Sasuke said shrugging.
"What about rice, every kid should eat rice growing up" Konan said as she looked over at him.
"Sakura would sometimes make riceballs for us when we went training or went on a mission" Sasuke said not really understanding why it was such a big deal.
"You need to learn how to cook" Sasori said giving Sasuke a serious look.
"I'm learning how to bake" Sasuke said with a confused look.
"That might be why you're having trouble with baking, I thought you already knew how to cook" Konan said thoughtfully.
"Nope, oh wait, does fruit salad count?" Sasuke asked curiously.
"No, it doesn't, you just have to cut up fruit and put it in a bowl" Pein said looking at Sasuke in disbelief.
"Why is everyone looking at me like that?" Sasuke asked a little annoyed.
"Everyone should know how to make ramen at least" Sasori said giving sasuke a meaningful look.
"Doesn't everyone know how to do that by the time their like 12 un? Your parents must have really sucked yeah" Deidara said in shock.
"I've been on my own since I was 7 and my mom probably didn't think 'I'm going to die in a week I should teach my youngest how to cook'" Sasuke snapped glaring at Deidara.
"Oh right, sorry yeah, I forgot about the whole Itachi killing your mom thing un?" Deidara said quickly backtracking.
"Well we'll just have to teach you how to cook then, it's not like we have anything better to do" Sasori said with a slightly bored expression that Sasuke used to see Shikamaru make all the time.
"Well you might, would you mind going to get clothes for Sasuke that will actually fit him" pein asked looking at Sasori. Sasoris face lit up and he grabbed a measurement tape out of his pocket and went over to a confused Sasuke.
"What the hell? You carry a measuring tape in your pocket?" Sasuke asked as Sasori measured his waist and chest and limbs.
"You never know when you might need one" Sasori said as he wrote down the measurements and started walking towards the door.
"Oh yeah get some for when he gets bigger too just get all the sizes to be sure" Pein said before Sasori was out the door.
"Got it, I'll be back in a few hours" Sasori called back.
"He likes to shop way too much un, he actually made me try on outfits for three hours after our last mission, I now have a new skort and tube socks un" Deidara said while staring after Sasori.
"What's a skort?" Sasuke asked curiously.
"It's a pair of shorts that has a skirt like flap at the front, it looks like a skirt but it's really shorts" Deidara said earning a confused look from the others.
"Why would you ever need that?" Sasuke asked a little disturbed.
"I have no idea un, and I don't really want to know either, I told him that it got ruined in the wash yeah" Deidara said with a slight shudder.
"As long as he doesn't get me one of those, cause I will shred it" Sasuke grumbled as he put a tray of cookies into the oven and watched them intently.
"They don't bake any faster if you watch them" Pein said starting to clean up some of the mess in the kitchen.
"I know I'm just making sure that I have time to react if they try to explode again" Sasuke said still watching them bake.
"You have some high expectations of yourself don't you" Pein said sarcastically laughing when Sasuke just flipped him off while watching the cookies.
The cookies finally finished baking and everyone was too nervous to try them. Suddenly Naruto walked in with a big smile and got excited at the site of the freshly baked cookies. Sasuke held the plate out to him and watched him eat one as everyone looked at him in horror, Sasuke shrugged and watched Naruto closely. After a while Naruto glared at Sasuke suspiciously and crossed his arms.
"Did you just use me as a guinea pig again?" Naruto asked suspiciously.
"Yep, do you feel weird?" Sasuke asked still watching him.
"Nope, better than when I ate that fruit salad you made" Naruto said as he left the room with a couple more cookies.
"You said that the fruit salad was good" Sasuke yelled after Naruto.
"It would have been better if you paid attention to what fruits you put in, plums and cherries don't go together very well" Naruto yelled back as Sasuke grumbled and glared after him.
"Plums and cherries?" Konan asked a little disturbed.
"I guess that brings your cooking skills down to a big Non-existent" Pein said with a smirk.
"Shut up hole head" Sasuke snapped as he grabbed a cookie.
"We'll start teaching you to cook tomorrow, I think we've damaged the kitchen enough today" Pein said as he inspected the damage to the oven.
"I didn't do that part, that was Deidaras bomb" Sasuke said defensively as Pein glared over at him.
Sasuke was about to take a bite of his cookie when he heard Naruto rush past the door to the bathroom. Sasuke quickly put the cookie back down and grabbed the one that Konan was about to eat.
"Don't eat those, if they made Naruto sick then they're deadly" Sasuke said quickly throwing them away.
"What makes you say that?" Pein asked curiously.
"Because Naruto can drink a carton of milk that's been expired for three weeks and it hardly affects him, that's what makes him the perfect guinea pig" Sasuke said with a shrug.
"How do you know that?" Konan asked curiously.
"Because the day we got put on the same team he actually drank milk that had been expired for three weeks and it only made him rush to the bathroom a lot instead of poisoning him" Sasuke said, laughing slightly at the memory.
Just then Kakashi came in with Naruto who was still looking a little sick.
"You really suck at baking man" Naruto said as he glared at Sasuke.
"Think of it as payback for making fun of my morning sickness" Sasuke said with an evil smirk.
"Is it moving yet?" Naruto asked excitedly and ran over to touch Sasukes stomach again.
"No, and stop touching my stomach" Sasuke yelled, cursing himself in his head for reminding Naruto of the baby.
They spent the rest of the day hanging out since Konan and Sakura decided to take over in the kitchen and they continued to argue until it was time to go to bed, mainly over the fact that Naruto wouldn't stop touching Sasukes stomach.
Okay so another weird chapter but it was kinda fun to write, next time we'll cover some of the trials of teaching Sasuke to cook, which should be fun. Ok so on to the questions.
Will Sasuke do better at learning to cook than he did with baking? Will Pein and Sasuke find a way to get along while they share a room? Will Sasori get Sasuke a skort? I guess we'll find out when I get the next chapter done, tho I can't say when that will be unfortunately. Anyway I hope you guys liked it and please review and tell me what you think and if you have any suggestions let me know and I'll see if I can use them.