"There was a time

I used to look into my father's eyes

In a happy home,

I was a king, I had a golden throne.

Those days are gone,

Now the memory's on the wall."

- Swedish House Mafia

The royal beach house is as nice as I imagined it would be. The halls are lined with red tapestries and soft, red carpets. The room I'm sleeping in has a big bed with silky sheets and plush pillows. As far as hideouts go, I'd say this is my favorite yet.

Although, I haven't seen very much of the rest of the place, because we've been outside for the past three days since we got here. Zuko is giving everyone a hard time about training, especially Aang. I don't really have any reason to protest. If we're going to face the Fire Lord, we might as well be prepared when we do. And Zuko dropped the bomb last night that his father plans to destroy the entire Earth Kingdom when Sozin's comet arrives. It seemed to shock Aang and Toph, but I wasn't all that surprised. Things have not exactly been going all that well for us, so why would they start to now?

There's also the fact that Aang won't be able to kill Ozai when the time comes. He's admitted it. Because Ozai is awful, but he is still a human being. And killing goes against everything that Aang believes in. So now Aang is even more worried and trying to find a way to defeat Ozai without taking his life. Which I respect. I don't feel very comfortable with the idea of Aang killing someone either.

I wonder about Zuko, how thinking about his father dying in a few days is something that he is so okay with. I suspect he is just pretending. Zuko is good at pretending. And he would never let on that he cares about his father on some level, even though his father doesn't really care about him. And of course he doesn't realize that none of us would be mad or upset with him if he admitted it. No one expects him to stop caring.

I think Aang might have been planning to hold off on fighting the Fire Lord until after the comet, until he's had more time to work on his firebending abilities and figure out what to do in the "no killing" department. I think Zuko told him about his father's plans for the Earth Kingdom because he knew that. I think Aang still has no idea how to use the Avatar State, even though he tries to lead on that he does. I think we are screwed.

Though, I wouldn't dare let Aang know that. I need to be strong for him. If he thinks that I'm scared, then he would be too.

The comet will be here in four days.

And I am scared.

I hope that Sokka will be here soon. I wish he were already here. I keep getting this panicky feeling in my chest and the awful thought that one of us may not ever see the other again. I was so relieved when we got a letter back from him, saying he's on his way. Now I'm just so anxious waiting for him. I hate waiting.

Which is why, as usual, I can't sleep. That, and because there's a full moon tonight. I couldn't sleep if I tried.

I like being at the beach, though. I like being able to see the waves crashing in sync with my breathing. Breathe in, tide comes in. Breathe out, tide goes out. It's nice to feel so connected to something. And right now, with Yue's white light reflecting out in the sea and making everything shine, I feel some sense of belonging. And power, too. Always that.

Sometimes it's too much. Especially after I learned how to bloodbend. I don't think anyone is ever supposed to feel that much power. I can see why the Avatar State scares Aang. I would be terrified of it. And to think that because of Garjan's meteor, Fire Lord Ozai almost had that power. It's impossible to think of just how horrible things would be if that had happened.

I remember right after Zuko gave it to me; I froze it in an ice block and made Toph hide it a few miles below the ground's surface back at the Western Air Temple. Atleast it'll be safely hidden for a few more years.

I hear a shuffle in the sand behind me and I'm on my feet in an instant, with an ice dagger bent to my right hand. It's become a reflex for me.

Zuko is standing across from me with his good eyebrow raised high. "I come in peace?"

I roll my eyes and drop back down into the sand, facing the ocean once again. "You know, you really shouldn't sneak up on me. Especially during a full moon."

"And why's that?" His voice is taunting.

"Because I could kill you in two seconds if I wanted to." I quip.

I hear the sand shuffle as Zuko walks toward me before taking a seat directly on my left, so close that his knee nearly touches mine. "I don't think your waterbending skills get that great."

"Who said anything about waterbending?"

Zuko eyes me carefully. "How then?"

I'm not gonna go there with him. Bloodbending is not something that I like to talk about. Aang and Sokka are the only people I told about it and even then I could barely articulate it. It's too much, it's too evil. It's too dangerous, in more ways than one.

I wonder what it's gonna be like for Zuko when the comet comes. What will he feel? With the kind of power that only comes once every hundred years. I wonder if he's the kind of person who can handle that, or if he won't want it either. I don't think I'm gonna ask.

A bottle that I hadn't noticed appears in Zuko's hand and he takes a swig from it. "What's that?" I ask.

"Fire whiskey." He puts the bottle in the sand in front of us. I reach for it and Zuko grabs my wrist. "I wouldn't."

"Why not?"

"It's strong."

I push his hand away and snatch the bottle to spite him. He shrugs his shoulders, his eyes wide with amusement like he's having a private joke with himself. I ignore him and bring the bottle to my lips. The body is black and the label is red, with elegant scripture across it.

I can see Zuko watching me from the corner of his eye so I take a long, hurried sip of the stuff. The initial taste is something like cinnamon and wood, but the burn from the alcohol is not so great. Still, I refrain from flinching. If Zuko can drink the stuff like it's water then so can I.

I take a second sip, just for good measure. It's no better than the first. If anything, it might have burned slightly more. I set the bottle back down in the sand and meet Zuko's gaze. He's smirking, waiting for me to show some kind of reaction. So I shrug.

He breaks into a grin, which is something I haven't seen in a very long time. I don't know how I feel about it.

I think my father would like fire whiskey. I'd seen him drink spirits on a few occasions. I remember sneaking a sip from his cup while he and his friends were distracted and it was awful. I had to spit it out in the snow. Maybe it was just because I was so young.

"Have you ever seen a phoenix?" I ask.

Zuko shrugs. "Sure. They're everywhere in the Fire Nation." When I don't say anything, he gives me a funny look. Like maybe I've asked something incredibly stupid. "You mean a real one? No way. Why?"

"Well maybe the Fire Nation royalty liked to keep them as pets or something, I don't know." I say, not hiding the snarky undertone of my comment.

Zuko waves his hand dismissively. "Then there wouldn't be any Fire Nation royalty. They'd all be dead. Phoenix are not friendly. I don't even know anyone who's seen one."

"I do. My dad."

Zuko's head tilts and he looks at me with curiosity. I think maybe he'll ask about it, but he doesn't.

The next few minutes pass in silence, with Zuko drinking his fire whiskey. When he pushes the bottle toward me again, I don't object. I'm starting to feel warm and it's nice. I guess I can understand why people put up with the foul taste. The resulting effect feels good enough.

I wonder what Aang would think about Zuko and me drinking alcohol in the middle of the night. That we shouldn't be, that it's bad for our bodies I suppose. Toph would be mad that she isn't doing it with us, though I think maybe fifteen is too young for alcohol. Sokka would act all big brotherly and say I'm not allowed and then drink it with me anyway.

"Do you want to swim?" Zuko asks, with that stupid grin on his face.

I am laughing and I don't really know why. "The current would take you to the middle of the ocean in less than a minute."

"That's what I need you for, waterbender."

I think back to the last time Zuko and I swam together. It makes me laugh harder.

"What?" He asks.

"I was just thinking about the look on your face when that cannon went off while we were in the Earth Kingdom lake. You were so scared." I try my best to mimic said face.

Zuko's eyes narrow, but his voice is teasing. "Really? I remember it being the other way around. When I popped out of the water, you were the scared one."

"I was startled. Not scared." I correct him.

"Like you were just startled when I found you out here tonight?"

"Exactly."

Zuko moves too quickly sometimes. Sometimes, he just moves way too damn fast. You blink and he's gone or moved or in motion. It's a little unsettling.

He jumps up, grabs me by the shoulders, and pins me beneath him in the sand before I even realize what's happened. I'm too stunned to even try to wrestle him off of me. His breath is warm on my face and smells like the fire whiskey. His golden eyes are locked on mine and I have this weird, warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. My heartbeat is erratic and I know that he can feel it with our chests pressed together this way. He glances down at my mouth.

Zuko's voice is low and husky when he whispers, "Are you scared now?"

I am so sorry for cutting you off there, but the next chapter will be worth the wait and I'll have it up in no more than two days max. I love you all! ;)