Chapter 6
Kaleb's point of view
As the day went by I waited for Nessie to call me. But she never did. I would f\pace the floors of my house, pace the beach, run in wolf form whenever Jake wasn't. She still never called me.
Now I'm just walking on the edge of the cliff we mostly jump off of whenever we go cliff diving. We haven't had that much fun in a while; and I didn't have any other place to go.
Except to go and make amends with my brother.
I wanted Nessie to call me back right away. I have no clue what to tell her. Just I needed to get where she was staying so I could talk to her. I had the main topic to talk about. Her and I…and Jacob.
I wondered why Jake hasn't went after her yet. He knows where she's at. Well, sort of. He feels that she's far away from him. He knows, just not the location.
Maybe I might be able to find Nessie. I can talk to her. Jake can get his answers. It is a win, win situation.
Was Jacob right? Would Nessie love me? Would she choose me?
I plopped down on the ground. Did I love Nessie more than Jacob? Hah! I can tell you that now. No. I wouldn't last.
Maybe that's why I want to talk to her? Maybe it's because I know that I'll loose; and I never liked the fact of loosing.
I punched a near by tree, doing more damage to the tree than my arm. I wanted to be friends with Nessie because she wasn't mine to have. I wanted to say screw Jacob! Nesssie was mine. If she wanted. Maybe.
I've learned from Jake's mistakes that if you tell Nessie to do something, you can count on her not to do it. In fact, she'll do the total opposite of what we expect. So does that mean I'll loose?
I've never regretted phasing into a wolf. It's the best thing that could happen to me! The speed, the cool hearing, the intense eye sight, the feeling of being free. It is the coolest thing ever!
Until now. Now I feel like I'm betraying my brothers, my sisters, my Alpha, our ancestors, everybody who's wrapped up into this. And I hate the feeling of betrayal and guilt settling into the bottom of my stomach. It feels like I have a good angel on the left of me that is telling me what good I could do, and I have I demon on the other side telling me to do the complete opposite. It's driving me to insanity!
I started to strip off my shorts. I felt the heat flash through my body, turning my two legs into four. I could sense Jacob's mind but he never phased back into man. I guess the pain is easier when you're wolf. When you're something or somebody else, you don't have to think about all the troubles your other life has set up for you. When you're wolf, you can run and get away from them.
I hated this guilt ridden feeling of doing this. Or wanting something that isn't mine. Of taking away an imprint from my brother.
"Good. You have a conscious. I was worried I was going to have to kill you if you kept going." Jacob said in his wolf form.
I was taken by surprise. Normally he's calling me every name in the book and planning my death. I've been waiting. I even got how I want my funeral conducted.
"Believe me, I want too." he said again in the same tone of voice we've all grown accustomed too. I don't think he knows how to be happy anymore.
I knew the others were in wolf form too but I guess Jake's command scared them. I didn't blame them. I was scared of Jake too.
"All apart of being Omega, Kaleb."
"What happen to the crazed, depressed, heartbroken Jacob we've known?" I asked with a cocky attitude. What? While Kyle got the docile attitude from our mother, I got the aggravating, cocky attitude from our father.
We all felt Jacob's knife stab into the heart feeling, making all of us feel it and wincing.
No one commented as we were all recovering from the blow.
I saw Jacob had the guts to call the Cullens. Bella said the last time she's heard from Nessie was their anniversary.
"Why? It's not like to let them to let Nessie go around the world without a call from her." Seth asked. Here comes another stabbing pain.
"Let me finish." Jake said in a strangled voice.
I can see why Jake was upset. In another week, it'll make one month since Nessie went from engaged, to cheating imprintee, to single.
"Don't remind me, Kaleb! I already know that!" Jacob snapped, reluctantly remembering July twenty-seventh.
I hate wolf telepathy.
"Bella said something about Nessie and I and that set her off. She started shouting stuff at them and told them to stay out of her life. Pretty much what she told me except the fact, (another pain) that they drove Nessie to Kaleb and away from me." Jake said. His thoughts filled in the holes that he left.
"That was her choice. I had no dealing with it." I said in my defense.
"But when she came to you, you should have told her no!" Quil commented.
"You shouldn't even be feeling the way you do towards her!" Embry shouted.
"What did I say about minding your own business?" Jake said to the two of them in Alpha's voice. He then turned his attention-well focus-to me. "Embry and Quil are right. Nessie wasn't yours to have. It was her choice and I can't do anything about that. But you should have never said yes to her in the first place. Neither of you should have did that."
"Why don't you just go ahead and kill me, Jacob, if you hate me so much? You know Nessie is going to choose you like all the other imprints choose. You know where she's at. Either she'll come back or you'll go find her!" I blurted.
"I can't kill you. As much as I want too, I can't." Jake simply said.
We were all silent. We were all pondering on our conversations, not bothering to add out two sense into anything. We could all feel the tension between us. The pack's been tense before, just we've never had a civil war between us.
"I can name one…" Seth trailed.
"I'm guessing Nessie's birth?" I said.
"Yeah." Jared said. Jake huffed.
I could see that he called Nessie. Again. But this time instead of him begging her to come back. He told her something different. He told her that he would support her. Surprising for him to say that when the love of his life screwed around on him with his Beta.
"So if by some lucky chance Nessie wants me, you'll support her?" I asked Jake.
"I'll have to be whatever she needs me to be. But I've got to hear it coming from her what I need to be. I have to see it from her." Jake answered. Is he bipolar? I know the venom would make his brain a little crazy but is he really clinically insane.
"I'm wondering the same thing." Tyler said. Jake growled.
I could still see the hate Jake had towards me. He still wanted to call me every name and he still wanted to kill me. Maybe because Nessie loved me too was why he hasn't yet, but that doesn't mean anything. There I go hiding behind a girl again.
Some things never chance.
"So do you know where's she's at?" Sam asked.
"Yeah. I guess. Bella said she was in London but I don't…" Jake trailed as he went off into ignoring my mind and controlling his anger.
"But you know she's not there." Sam said as if he was finishing Jake's sentence. Another stabbing pain went through Jake. Yeah, he won't be up for much of any conversation if we keep it on the subject of Nessie.
"I guess." Jake mumbled.
"Why don't you go look for her. Jake, you know she loves you." Quil answered with Embry and Seth agreeing.
She loves me too…
As I thought that, I felt another stabbing pain go through Jake. He was thinking of their conversation the day Nessie left. Now guaranteed, we see and feel what went on over more than a thousand times. But each time Jake thought about it, it would bring open a whole new torture for all of us and him.
We saw Nessie's cold hard face as she told Jacob that she was forced to love him. That she never had a choice. We saw that Nessie wanted Jake to stay out of her life.
That brought a new pain for him. A new pain we all knew the only time Jake will say something is when he was giving orders.
We all tried to keep our conversation away from Nessie. Sam and Jared were talking. Seth was wondering about what was up with Abby. Embry was worried about the plane ride he was taking with Karli to UCLA where she was enrolled at this fall. A few new ones were talking about getting together to watch football. Paul and a few others were off today. And Jake only thought of the greenery in front of him. The only one who couldn't do it was me.
I could see where Jake was headed. It was obvious. I think instead of pushing his "addiction" away, he was relapsing.
"Jake?" I asked. I had no clue what to say but I felt like it should be something like May the best man win. I haven't given up yet. Please don't ban me from seeing her.
Or better yet. I'm sorry.
I could see that Jake saw the things I wanted to say but he didn't bother to bring any of it up. "Did you ask Bella where the scent changing bloodsucker was?" was all I could muster up.
"She said Alice had a vision of him in South America, somewhere near Brazil but it was hazy." he answered flatly.
"Hazy as in…" Sam prompted.
"Either he was paying a visit to Nahuel or Nessie's going to Brazil."
"But isn't he from somewhere over there?" Quil asked as if he couldn't think of the places in South America. Idiot.
"Argentina." Jake answered before I could say anything.
"Where's that?" Collin asked.
"South America!" Jake snapped before I could say anything else again. "Didn't you pay attention in geography class?"
"No."
I barked a laugh. Jacob keeps the younger ones at home studying, or anybody else who hasn't received their high school diploma. After that, whatever we did with our education was our choice.
Once younger ones started to phase, Jake would give them time to get control of their anger before sending back to school. Believe me, he got several begs from the kids to let them wait. And when that failed, they would come to me when I was Beta. I felt like I wasn't just raising my little sister but a bunch of other cocky teenage boys.
When Jake finally saw a pattern, he recommended the older ones go back to school. Even he did. With the Cullens help of course. He missed like two years. The rest of us weren't smart enough to bring your homework to your imprint's house so her vampire family would help. No wonder why when he graduated he got top of his class.
I went to a local collage here on the reservation but later dropped out when everything became to much to handle. Now I know why Jacob never went to collage. Between being Chief, Alpha, being there for Nessie, he wouldn't have time to rest
I wanted too see of he would add anything. This was the longest, civilized conversation we've had since Nessie left! Normally he's wanting to kill me, and while I'm under the abuse, I'm hoping Nessie would contact him just so he'll let up.
I felt another gut wrenching pain then another. It felt like a song on replay. I knew he was doing this on purpose!
The pain was so unbearable that we all buckled to the ground-including Jake. I'd rather take physical pain than this!
"Now you know that I am going through." Jake breathed in a cold way as the stabbing pain got worse.
"Jake, man, please…" Embry begged. "kill him if you want. We all understand." he gasped.
Jake huffed then apologized to the others. Just not to me. Once he got to his destination he stopped. This time another painful memory went through accidentally.
"Sorry. I'll try to keep my emotions in check. There's no need for all of you to go through this with me." Jake said. "Sam, Quil, you think you can keep things in order for a little while."
"No problem." Sam said.
"Yeah, go get some sleep. Ten minutes isn't going to do any good." Quil joked as he thought of Jake attacking him.
"I wish." he muttered then phased back to man.
"Maybe you need to think about what Jake said, Kaleb." Sam said to me.
I huffed. Mr. Beta was right. They were being pulled in both directions. And if Nessie ever came back, they'll be pulled to that direction too.
"So we're screwed?" Bronson (newbie) asked.
"Pretty much, yeah." Jared answered.
"Hopefully she'll come back." Seth said.
"I hope so too." I muttered.
"But we hope she'll come back for a totally different reason. We miss her but we miss her as family. If you're going to take her away from Jake then we don't want her to come back."
"She's not Jake's anymore-"
"Yes she is! Renesmee is still Jacob's imprint, and whether you like it or not, they'll eventually get back together! She still loves him more than you! When Abby was talking to Nessie, she never mentioned you." Seth growled; and we were all shocked. Seth's the go with the flow type of guy. Lately he hasn't been. I guess all this is taking a toll on his relationship with Abby."
"You think! She's wanting to do what Nessie did! They only difference is that she wants to take a "break."
We went silent. Wait. Nessie never mentioned me?
"Yes! You weren't the center of her world." Seth growled at me again.
"That's enough, Seth." Sam ordered.
"You know wat, kid, if you're so angry at me then do something about it." I snapped, baring my teeth.
"I said enough!"
I saw Seth change his direction to me and I stopped to be prepared. Pretty soon, I felt a hard body clash against mine. We were snapping at each other, using out paws to do more damage. We heard a wolf howl but neither of us stopped.
We felt Jake's mind pop up and rush into our direction. "I thought you could handle it?"
"They obliviously didn't listen."
That was all back ground noise as Seth and I kept fighting.
"SETH! KALEB! STOP. NOW." Jake commanded, making his Alpha voice feel like it was vibrating.
I dropped Seth's neck from my mouth and he let go of my ear as we faced a snarling, gigantic, russet wolf.
"Jake, he-he-" Seth stammer while I said nothing.
"Neither of you should have said anything."
"I never thought he would have attacked! I mean…it's Seth! He's never did anything like that." I put up in my defense.
"I grew up! What happen to you?" Seth snapped.
"Alright, you two. Seth, you shouldn't have attacked. Ignore Kaleb. I do." Jake growled furious.
Seth and I buckled to the ground while Alpha reigned over us. We whimpered for him to stop.
"Sorry." I apologized to Seth, feeling the guilt hit me in the bottom of my stomach.
"Diddo." he panted.
We all waited to see if Jake was going to phase or not. He surely needed to sleep; but he never did.
Jacob was in pain but he tried to suck it up for us-well, the others. He could care less about me. I wish I was as strong as Jacob was.
"Jake, if you hate me so much then why didn't you just let the bloodsucker kill me?" I asked.
"You really want to get under my skin?"
"This time no. You've asked Nessie why did she save your butt. So I'm curious. Why did you save mine? Why didn't you let the venom spread through me like you wondered why Nessie let it spread through? Why did sacrifice your life to save mine?" I asked. I actually was curious. Why did he just let me die? He would have Nessie.
I wondered if Nessie would cry or cling to my body as she did with Jake. Would she risk he own life to save me? Would she go crazy if she thought I was dead?
"She would probably want somebody to save you, but if you couldn't be she would have given up." Jake answered.
"Then why don't you answer my question?" I pressed.
Jake huffed then fell silent. At first I thought he wasn't going to give me an answer. "Because I don't really hate you. We're brothers…" Jake trailed, wondering the same thing I did.
"I'm the leader. Nobody deserves going through a pain like that. Not even you. I don't want to even go through that again."
"But wouldn't you do it just to bring Nessie back?"
That's where I got him. Selfishly he would, but if he knew Nessie was happy wherever she was, he wouldn't choose. But he knew she wasn't happy. So instead of giving us more to gossip about, he shut us out and phased back to human.
"Nice going." Embry told me.
"You know we have linked minds." I said in a defensive tone of voice.
"Wrong." Seth said. "We kept your secret. It was both physically and mentally exhausting."
"But it wasn't what you're secret to share."
"But you should have told Jacob about Nessie instead of Kyle, Kaleb. You and Nessie should have told Jacob." Sam chimed in.
Of course! My baby brother gets the spotlight!
"What beef do you have with him, bro?" Brady asked.
"None of your business. So what if I wanted to keep it a secret! It's my choice." Isnapped.
"There's the Kaleb we know and hate." Jared said with a eye rolling tone of voice.
"If you hate me so much then do something about it!" I yelled angrily.
These idiots gossip more than women do!
"Kaleb! Enough!"
"Whatever, Sam. Go pretend to be Alpha and leave me alone!" I hissed.
He growled.
I phased back to human. I was tired of their criticism. I was tired of them looking at me like I was the only one who was in this. Nessie was in this too. She should have ignored me. It's not like she has before.
I can't catch a break! Why does Kyle have to be so perfect?! He's a hypocrite! He was the one who was closet to our father and now he hates him!
I jerked my shorts on and sprinted to my car. I have to get out of this reservation where falling in love with the wrong person is wrong!
While I was running up to my house, I saw my brother's Ford Explorer sitting right in front of my porch. Speak of the Devil.
"What are you doing here?" I snarled. The sight of him sickened me. He was so freaking "perfect." He's going to a university with a girl that drags him around by the color of his shirt!
"Hey, little brother. How's life? How's Leah? How's the little sis doing?" my stupid brother said, mocking my voice. "Oh, everything's doing good. I made the Dean's list in college. Leah and I are getting married. And Kierra misses you."
I gave a gold laugh. "Oh, you're waiting for a congrats? Well don't hold your breath."
"I was hoping you would be my best man. Leah was hoping to get in contact with Nessie. She wants her to be the maid of honor."
I see the hint.
"I haven't spoken to her." I lied smoothly. Kyle's always been able to believe my lies.
"I may be gullible to some things, big brother, but not this time." Kyle said as he got in my face.
"Fine. Yeah, I have spoken with her." I answered.
"Is she choosing you?" Why should he ask? He was the one who ratted me out.
"You were the one who ratted me out!" I yelled.
"Only because of Alpha's command! You should have been man enough to tell him!"
"Well if you want to know so badly, no. Renesmee doesn't love me. She still loves Jacob."
We glared at each other, tremors rolling through our bodies, snarls coming out of our mouths. As much as I wanted to kill him, he was my brother. It was wrong. I couldn't do that to Kierra.
As we tried to calm down, I asked about where Kierra was.
"I dropped her off with Leah at Billy and Sue's. I figured this would become heated and I knew neither of us would want to upset her." Kyle answered. He's right even though I hated to admit it.
We sat down on the porch. Surprisingly, it was sunny.
"Kabe, what do you have against me?" my brother asked, fiddling with his fingers. He does that when he knows he's about to ask a touchy question.
I wanted to tell him but I was tired of fighting. "Another day, please." I begged, plopping down so that I now lied on the porch floor.
He nodded, understanding. Funny how my baby brother is more of a man than I'll ever be.
It was a tense silence, but at least we're not killing each other..
"When are you and Leah getting hitched?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Leah wants it as quick as possible. You think you and Jake can handle being in the same room together?"
I laughed. "I don't know. Jacob and I can't even be in wolf form without of us snapping at each other. Shocking though, he actually was calm today. Well, not killing me or shouting at me, using every name in the book.
Kyle laughed too. "I miss out on a lot when I quit phasing."
"Why did you stop?"
"Leah asked me too."
"Why?"
Kyle was hesitant. "She thinks if she stops she might get pregnant." Kyle mumbled and I busted out laughing. I fell off the porch with tears in my eyes and my sides aching.
"I know; but I can't deny her of it. It's something she's wanted." I didn't bother saying anything. He sounds like Jake.
"Of a family?" I asked.
"Of being happy." with that, I fell silent.
"You wanna see Kierra?" Kyle asked, giving me a hand up even though I didn't need it.
I knew I was still hating Kyle. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach along with the guilt. But I was tired of fighting today.
~~~~~ Forever Ours ~~~~~
"Kaleb!" My little sister shouted as I hopped out of Kyle's vehicle.
I wrapped her in my arms tightly. I knew I could have a horrible day but she would make it better.
"I miss you!" she said in my ear.
"I miss you too." I mumbled.
I walked into the door to find Sue and Billy smiling at me slightly, but I was met from a snarl from Leah. She hates me.
"Kaleb, how's Jake? I haven't heard from him in a few days." Billy asked, worried about his son.
Jake tried to avoid Rachel and Billy because he was ashamed on how he destroyed the house. Sort of. Rake promised to rebuild the home and normally they would stop by to see the progress. But the past week, Jake's been avoiding them.
I gave him a look, hoping he would read the answer on my face. Which was not good as the one he hoped for.
"He's probably worse off. What are you doing here anyway?" Leah snapped. Man! If I could kill her! One, I couldn't because then Kyle and I would have to fight till death, and I can't do that to my brother no matter what. Two, I have my little sister in my arms.
"Leah!" Sue scolded, making Kierra jump. I put my hand on her back to sooth her.
"Where's Nessie?" she asked. "I miss her."
"We all do, Kierry. She'll be back soon."
"Does she ask about me?"
I paused. I had to lie to her. "She's been so busy that I haven't had time to talk to her."
Kyle winced, knowing I had to lie to her. It was the only way to tell her.
We all had a tense conversation, Kierra never leaving my arms. I knew I was the enemy. Billy, Sue, and Leah knew Jacob longer. They knew he had to go through heartbreak to finally have a happy ending, only to have heartbreak again.
Maybe that's why Nessie left. We another reason actually. Maybe she didn't want to hurt Jacob anymore. No. That's not a maybe. She's said to me over and over again on how all of this would kill him. It almost has and we're not even in September yet. That's where the real test will begin. Nessie's birthday. It'll be the first time Jake isn't with her on her birthday.
Maybe she left because she didn't want to hurt me. It sounds like Nessie. No matter what she says to herself, she's thinking about her loved ones.
Her and Jake have more in common than her and I did. Their both self martyrs. Jake's afraid to drag his pack through the mid with his pain, and Nessie's going to make sure she takes the blunt of everything rather than us. She's to nice to hurt other's feelings.
I wonder if I'm quitting. Does it sound like it? I hate quitting; but that's what I do. I drag a girl around and when it gets too serious, I drop them. Could my relationship with Nessie be serious? Would I leave her like I did the others?