Uncanny Wonder Woman

Chapter 29: I Want Candy- Part 2

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to DC Comics.

Gotham City Police Force HQ-

Diana was patiently waiting in one of the interrogation rooms as Etta Candy showed out the officers that had been standing inside. Lieutenant Colonel Candy had approached Diana after the Amazing Amazon had foiled an attempted bank heist by the Riddler.

Etta had dismissed the officers because what she wanted to talk to the Amazing Amazon about was highly classified. She had also asked for the security camera in the room to be turned off for the duration of the conversation. She didn't want the conversation leaking out.

'Am I in some sort of trouble?' Diana asked, still in her guise as Batwoman.

'Nothing like that.' Etta explained as she took a seat opposite the incognito Diana. 'You're not under arrest. I only wanted to talk to you somewhere private, and where better than Police HQ?'

'Are you sure that nobody will be able to hear us?' Diana enquired.

'We're in a soundproof room.' Etta told her. 'We could throw a rock concert in here and nobody would be any the wiser.'

Diana nodded simply as readjusted her utility belt. The belt was quite uncomfortable, she never understood how Bruce managed with it.

'I'm not going to mess around here, Batwoman.' Etta told the dark-haired Amazon. 'I specifically asked to be transferred here from Intelligence. God knows they were glad to get rid of me.'

'Do you not have many friends in Intelligence?' Diana enquired.

'Let's just say that I never seemed to get along well with my superiors.' Etta smiled slightly. 'They were all crusty old men who resented having a woman working with them.'

'Why did you wish to be transferred to Gotham City of all places?' Diana asked. 'It's not like it is the most ideal of places to work.'

'I guess my superiors were hoping that I'd run afoul of one of Gotham's more… colourful residents.' Etta replied. 'That would keep me out of their hair.'

'Yes, Gotham City has a reputation for that sort of thing.' Diana nodded in understanding.

'If my memory serves me correctly you first appeared a few months ago when Giganta attacked Gotham University, yes?' Etta asked.

'That's correct.' Diana confirmed. 'She wanted to fight Wonder Woman, but all she found was me.'

'Don't you find that it's a little unusual, one of Wonder Woman's enemies causing trouble in Gotham?' Etta asked.

'Not particularly.' Diana shook her head. 'Villains don't usually stick to their own cities. The Flash's Rogues have been seen outside Keystone City, and the enemies that Superman has been known to frequently fight are known outside Metropolis.'

'Usually that's when they band together in teams.' Etta countered. 'Giganta was on her own. Then there was that time all the men in Gotham were turned into animals. Wasn't Circe behind that? She's another one of Wonder Woman's enemies, wasn't she?'

'What's your point, Lieutenant Colonel?' Diana frowned, crossing her arms. 'All of this seems pretty coincidental to me.'

'I know who you really are, Batwoman.' Etta leaned forward in her seat. 'I know that you're Wonder Woman.'

Diana sat up straight in shock. She had an inkling that this woman knew the truth, but she was hoping that it wouldn't be so.

'What?' Diana chuckled as she tried to make herself seem calmer. 'That's nonsense.'

'Don't bother lying, Princess.' Etta said. 'You might be amazingly beautiful and a fierce warrior, but you are a terrible liar.'

'Who told you?' Diana sighed.

'Nobody told me.' Etta explained. 'I figured it all out myself. You have been pretty careless about this new identity of yours, you know.'

'Oh, Hera…' Diana groaned as she held her head in her hands. 'I thought having a secret identity would be easier than this.' She wondered how Bruce and Clark did it. She knew she should have asked them for tips.

'Hey, it's not your fault.' Etta comforted the Amazing Amazon. 'Everybody has their off days.'

'I suppose you mean to blackmail me.' Diana said.

'Oh, God no.' Etta shook her head. 'I'm not here to reveal your identity to the press. I'm here to help you. Every hero needs a contact in the police force, right?'

'How do I know that I can trust you?' Diana asked sceptically. 'How do I know that this isn't a plot by one of my enemies?'

'You'll just have to trust me.' Etta shrugged. 'Unless you want to use that golden lasso of yours on me.'

'Are you sure that is what you want?' Diana asked. 'Do you truly wish to submit yourself to the Lasso of Truth?'

'Anything to help you trust me.' Etta nodded.

Gotham Park, Later-

Lieutenant Colonel Candy was waiting in a secluded spot of Gotham Park. She had arranged to meet Wonder Woman there in order to undergo a test by the Lasso of Truth.

Etta covered her eyes against the glare of the sun as she saw a figure flying towards her.

'Sorry to keep you waiting, Lieutenant Colonel.' Wonder Woman apologised as she landed in front of the blonde-haired former intelligence officer. The Amazon was clad in her regular Wonder Woman costume. 'I had to retrieve my lasso from my quarters.'

'Think nothing of it, Your Highness.' Etta smiled. 'And please, call me Etta.'

'Only if you call me Diana.' The Amazing Amazon replied. 'Now, are you sure that you want to do this?'

'I don't have any problem with you trying your lasso on me.' Etta responded. 'I'm only here to help you.'

'Very well.' Diana nodded in understanding as she placed part of her lasso in Etta's hand.

'Why are you really here?' Diana asked.

'I'm here to help you, Diana.' Etta told her. 'I have absolutely no wish to out you to the press. I was worried that somebody was going to realise who you really were. Did you hear the Riddler when the cops were carting him off? The Riddler isn't any run of the mill criminal, he's smart. If he's able to put two and two together, how long do you think it would take somebody else to do it?'

'You're telling the truth.' Diana nodded in understanding, allowing the intelligence officer to release the Lasso. 'I'm sorry that I didn't trust you.'

'Hey, you're entitled to that.' Etta replied. 'I would have done the same.'

'Then I look forward to working with you.' Diana smiled as she prepared to take off again.

'Wait, don't go just yet.' Etta called out to her. 'I've got an idea. Something that should stop people putting two and two together for the moment at least…'

Tokyo, a little later-

Tokyo was in a state of chaos. The Toyman had unleashed his latest weapon on the city, a giant robot lizard. Luckily, the Justice League was on hand to help defend the city.

Wonder Woman was leading a team of heroes consisting of Supergirl, Plastic Man, Red Tornado, Captain Marvel, and Shayera Hol.

'Gee, you'd think that these people would be used to giant lizards rampaging through their cities.' Plastic Man quipped as he stretched between two buildings to catch some falling chunks of building.

'Now is not the time for jokes, Plastic Man.' Red Tornado reminded the pliable hero. 'We must stop this creature before it destroys the whole city.'

'This thing isn't so tough.' Supergirl snorted. 'It's just a big robot. How difficult could it be?'

THOOM!

The giant lizard continued to rampage across Tokyo, stepping right on top of Supergirl.

'Okay, that was just rude…' Supergirl sighed as the robot lizard continued on its way and dusted herself off. 'This thing just won't stop.'

'One whack of my mace'll soon take care of this thing.' Shayera grinned as she swung her mace at the back of the robot lizard's head.

THOOM!

RWAWR!!

The robot lizard roared in anger and grabbed hold of Shayera in a giant clawed hand.

'My, awfully busy hands for a robot.' Shayera grunted as she struggled to free herself. 'A little help, somebody?'

'Way ahead of you, Ms Hol!' Captain Marvel said as he flew into action.

FWOOSH!!

The giant robot lizard belched a jet of flame at Captain Marvel, engulfing him in flames.

'Cap, are you okay?' Supergirl asked concernedly.

'I'm fine.' The World's Mightiest Mortal grunted as he dusted himself off. 'Just a little singed, is all.'

'Any idea how we can stop this thing?' Plastic Man enquired. 'I don't suppose any of you have got King Kong on speed dial, have you?'

'We will do that which we always do, Plastic Man.' Wonder Woman told him. 'We will find a way no matter what.'

'I just hope that there's enough left of Tokyo to save.' Plastic Man sighed.

'Mind if I cut in?' A voice asked as a figure swung above their heads.

'Batwoman!' Supergirl realised.

In mid-swing Batwoman tossed an explosive Batarang at the giant robot, hitting in right on the snout.

KABOOM!!

'Quick, everybody!' Wonder Woman told her fellow heroes. 'Attack while the robot is stunned!'

The other heroes did as they were told an attacked all at once.

POW! BIFF! PRANG!

'Timber!' Plastic Man yelled as he bounced out of the way as the giant robot lizard began to topple to the ground.

DOOM!

'Well, that was pretty awesome.' Supergirl grinned as she poked the fallen robot with the toe of her boot. 'You can't beat fighting giant robots in Japan.'

Batwoman swung down and landed right beside Wonder Woman.

'Thank you, J'onn.' Wonder Woman whispered to the disguised Martian Manhunter. 'I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your help.'

'Anything to confuse the press, Diana.' J'onn nodded. 'This idea of your friend's should stop them from discovering the truth for quite some time.'

'That reminds me…' Wonder Woman remembered. 'I'll have to thank Etta somehow. Would you mind if I gave her a tour of the Watchtower?'

'If you believe that she can be trusted.' J'onn nodded. 'Then I don't see any reason why not.'

'Thank you once again, J'onn.' Wonder Woman smiled. 'I owe you a crate of Choc-Os.'

'I know I shouldn't eat so many, but I can't help it.' J'onn chuckled. 'I am a slave to Choc-Os.'

TBC…

Next: Underworld Unleashed

Etta's tour of the Watchtower is cut short when somebody unleashes a hoard of demons upon Metropolis